The days of December passed more and more slowly. The coloured lights of the Municipality had already made their appearance since the end of November. You could see different colours going around Tokyo those days. Red, green, gold and even silver. There were even small Christmas trees on the balconies of the area where the secret base was located. Even the shops had such an ambience. Although the Japanese are not Christians, Christmas was more for consumption than it is in other Asian countries. Would the children sing the carols as they do in the West? Probably not. There's nothing similar to that in Japan anyway.

Such was L's thought as he sat at his desk which was adorned with golden tinsel. He rarely decorated for Christmas. For some reason that even he couldn't explain, such holidays brought a touch of melancholy to him even though the ambience was supposed to be happy. Even if he didn't have a difficult case to take on as usual, he still looked to find, even a relatively easy one. He wanted nothing to do with Christmas. He didn't hate it but just didn't want to think every year he would have to deal with the same unwarranted grief.

The red ball hanging above his desk swayed back and forth as his own finger shook it. Mostly out of boredom. But the thought he would lose the girl he wanted to protect, didn't leave his mind. How could he protect her anyway? She had to be executed along with the first Kira. What could he do about it? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Hehatedit.

Eventually, the ball was cut from the rope and rolled to the window. He didn't bother to catch it. At one point he felt the surface of his desk vibrating. It was his cell phone. He noticed Matsuda's number calling him. What could he need? He usually called to update him on the progress of the case, but now it was almost over. He had no reason to bother him at noon. L pressed the green button to answer the call.

"Yes?"

"Good morning, Ryuzaki. It's me. I called to see if you'd be interested in going to that store nearby our secret base. They make great ramen! The rest are already there and waiting for me. I mean, us. So? You coming?"

So he really considered him his friend. He wasn't being sarcastic at Matsuda's birthday. But did he actually have anything in common with them? It didn't matter if they were colleagues. But... Who knows? Maybe it was a good opportunity to accept the invitation since Watari had passed away. A person who always considered him his father figure, even though he wasn't a biological parent.

"I... Hope I didn't interrupt anything, right?" Matsuda said.

"No, you didn't. Thanks for the invitation Matsuda, though I wouldn't be interested."

"Is something wrong, Ryuzaki? I'm not referring to you not coming, just the tone of your voice... It's still monotonous but... You sound like mentally exhausted. Maybe it's just me."

"Thank you for your interest, both for the invitation and for your concern. Really, I'm fine. I'll consider it, and perhaps I'll join you another time." They then said goodbye to each other and hung up.

"There's actually something bothering him, no one will change my mind. But I'll figure it out." he monologued as he walked by the referred store, and entered to find his team.

Eventually, the young policeman decided he would go to the secret base after lunch with Aizawa and Mogi. The only concern was how to ask L what was on his mind so that he doesn't seem too pushy. He thought about it for a long time. In the end, he concluded he'd order something sweet from the shop to somehow tempt him. So it happened. He found in the dessert section of the menu a piece of chocolate with strawberries around it. When Aizawa asked why he bought something sweet, he replied that good meals always need desserts at the end. They chuckled. Aizawa even offered Matsuda to pay for the cake.

**

*

The photocell door opened once the machine sensed his presence, so he entered the computer room. He found him lying on the couch and looking across at the flakes falling on the windowsill.

"Hey. I hope it's not an inopportune time."

L turned to face the young man. "Oh, it's you, Matsuda. Sorry, I didn't realize you entered the room,"

"It's okay, I just came to drop off a cake I bought. It's from the shop told earlier. I how much you love sweets!" He left it on the side of the desk where L is sitting. "It's chocolate and has strawberries all over it"

"Thank you, Matsuda. You really didn't need to pay for a cake just for me."

"Yes, I did need. I just thought about you. That's all. I mean... We're friends, aren't we?"

He then sat next to L.

"Isn't the snow beautiful?"

"Indeed it is,"

"You don't see that much in the area where my father's house is located, so whenever it snows I feel cosy."

"I understand,"

They stood there for a few minutes looking at the snow, each with their own thoughts sinking in just the sight of the flakes. These tiny balls were falling silently on the windowpane as if they were kittens. Matsuda remembered a fairy tale his grandmother told him when he was a little kid: How snowflakes are the pet cats of the gods, that whenever it rains they become raindrops, while in winter they become flakes. They're reincarnated as cats, as soon as these weather phenomena pass.

"I can't hold you back, Matsuda. It would be better to go home than just sitting here being idle. Thanks again for the dessert."

"You're not holding me back at all! I can return whenever I want. Besides, I live by myself, so it's not like there's a family waiting for me. We're the only bachelors of the group, you know?"

He wanted to smile though for some reason he couldn't. Instead, a sigh of distress left his mouth.

"Even though Misa-Misa is the second Kira, I still feel upset she'll be executed. Looks like my admiration for her public persona is greater than my duty as a policeman..."

"You're not the only one who feels this way. As soon as the rest of her fans find out on the 28th of the month, there will be chaos on the streets."

"You mean that... There might be demonstrations too?"

"Pretty much so," L answered.

"If only there was a way to prevent this... Sure, Misa is a murderer, but-"

"Her crimes are not expunged just because she followed Kira's orders, or because she herself wanted to make him notice her. She's still a murderer. It'll certainly be hard the first few days but you'll get used to it."

Matsuda couldn't understand why his colleague was suddenly speaking sternly, as if he was a mischievous kid. Sure he still was a beginner on the police field and needed some guidance, but now there was no reason for L to act like a parent on such a trivial matter.

"But... Ryuzaki-"

"Also... If I remember correctly, you were about to shoot her then at the first trial attempt."

He recalled the moment. "Indeed... I almost shot her before you got in the way. Not that I wanted anyway. The judge had told me so. The bullet would weaken her and she wouldn't resist. I just pretended to be tough! I could be called a coward..."

"You're not a coward. Just like any fan, you hesitated to hurt her. But you did in the end, as it was the judge's order."

Matsuda stayed silent for a few seconds. "You too, Ryuzaki."

"Me what?"

"You stepped in front of her and the bullet accidentally entered your shoulder."

"That... Was..."

The young policeman smiled with satisfaction as if he had solved the greatest mystery of the century. "It's unlikely for a fan to make such a heroic move. You too like her job as a model, but I don't think it's related. Could it be..."

"No!" he wanted that "no" of his to be told stubbornly but from Matsuda's look, was finally figured out he couldn't hide anymore. That very conversation had betrayed him. His cheeks flushed. What if Matsuda told Misa? He couldn't stand the thought she might be teasing him about his feelings as well.

He lowered his voice. "Can you do me a big favour? Please... Don't tell Misa."

"Of course, I won't!" Matsuda whispered. "I always keep my word! May my tongue be cut off if I ever snitch!" and then giggled.

"I would never have imagined you could fall in love. I always had you in mind for the cold mysterious detective who doesn't give a damn about anything and only his work matters. Like James Bond or other fictional detectives."

"You have to reduce the viewing hours at the cinema!" L smiled.

"It must be painful to love someone who doesn't share the same feelings as you..."

"Well... I'm used to it. At least she broke up with Light."

"She did?! How do you know?"

"When I told her she'll be able to see Light again a few hours before their trial, she mentioned the breakup. But still, I have no access to her heart."

The other policeman rested his hand on the detective's shoulder in a gesture of compassion and understanding.

"Tell me everything, Ryuzaki! I mean... L. Your pain, your complaints, everything! Be vulnerable! I guarantee it'll only stay between us!"

"Thank you very much, Matsuda. Not just for cake, but also for the rest. I deeply appreciate it."

"I would be glad if instead of my last name, you called me by the first one: Touta. I hope you don't mind being called L."

"I don't mind, just don't call me L in public."

They talked for quite some time about Misa, Light, and even about their upcoming execution. L rarely felt comfortable opening his heart to another person besides Watari, though the context of the conversation forced him. He couldn't hide his feelings anymore, maybe for good. He could trust Matsuda with his secret. Besides, he was the only one in the task force who didn't seem suspicious from the start. He may act like a fool sometimes, but he certainly has no signs of being a traitor.

"You know, L. I've been thinking about it for a couple of minutes and it won't leave my mind. I know it might sound crazy, but I feel like it's the only way to prevent Misa's execution. I don't care about Light."

"Prevent? It's already been decided."

"But how about we put another criminal destined for execution in Misa's place? We can somehow drug him so he doesn't notice a thing, and with proper makeup make him look like Misa!"