I do not remember exactly when it all started – the beatings, I mean. I remember a few slaps to the face, here and there, back when I was toddler. But the first beating that really hurt – not only my body, but also my soul – I do remember very well. My father beat the living shit out of me because he found me with my brother's school stuff. I was trying to teach myself how to read. Back in those days, in those surroundings, girls had no business reading. From early on, it was only about excruciating work on the fields. Basically, all my childhood was working, in the rain, covered in mud.

And it got worse. Because I tried to learn how to read again. And again. I didn't make much progress, because there was no one to teach me. I didn't know anyone who knew how to read. My own father was illiterate. My brother was supposed to be the first one to learn in our family, and I knew he would rat me out to father if I ever asked him for help. Actually, any time that he just suspected that I glanced at his scribblings, he would tell, and I would get beaten.

I was about eleven when I accidentally hurt my inner thigh. My mother saw the blood and quickly reported to father. Ignorant as they both were, they decided that this was a sure sign I was a „woman". I was married within a week to a man who was willing to pay for me. They basically sold me, and for little money. „Please your husband", my mother advised me. I thought that meant I was supposed to clean his shoes or something.

But it meant something else. It meant something that any 11 year old is far too young to experience. But I did, repeatedly. And was beaten again and again because I tried to resist. But he abused me for other reasons, too. Once he almost blinded me when he found a few papers that I have hidden – my only belongings in this world. I still wanted to learn how to read.

By the time I was 16, I was almost crippled by beatings. I was sure that my husband wanted me dead since I was not able to get pregnant. I still didn't know how to read. I absolutely hated my life. I hated the mud. I hated the stupidity. Even though I didn't know much about the world, since in my life I never took one step out of that godforsaken village, I simply felt that there should be more to life than this. I also knew that I would not last much longer. Either I would try to run away – anywhere – or my husband would kill me.

One night, he got very drunk and fell into a deep sleep. I wasted no time. I didn't take anything with me. My legs were not really in a good shape, since he broke one of them two years ago, and it never healed properly. That's why I was walking only slowly. I needed to flee right then, in order to get as much distance between him and me before he waked up and realized I was gone.

Imagine that, stumbling through the night without knowing where you're going. My plan was basically non-existent, but this is what desperation does to you. I would have probably been dead within hours: mauled by wolves or frozen to death, if I had not met the man who now I have the honour of calling Father.

I actually bumped into him. I was tired and was not watching where I was going, and my head collided with something hard. Like a stone wall. But that wall actually caught me from falling. I raised my head and saw the most beautiful, kind and clean man that I have ever seen. The tall man was looking down at me with mild interest.

„I am so sorry, my sir!", I managed to say. He let off me and I immediately kneeled before him. He seemed like some kind of royalty, and I showed my respect in the only way I knew. I so wanted to look at his face again, because even in the dark I could see it was heavenly beautiful, but I felt as if I did not deserve such privileges in my life. Also, I myself looked so bad: I felt like me looking at him would somehow offend him.

„Are you tired of life, my child?", he asked me, after taking in my pitiful appearance.

What an odd question. But who am I – flea covered, stinking and broken beyond repair – to dare to refuse him an answer?

„I am, sir.", I say and tears immediately start running down my cheeks.

„Hmmm.", he gently pulled my by the arm and made me stand up. Then he looked me directly into my eyes. This is when I noticed his eyes were red. I was both afraid and thrilled by this. He noticed, but didn't really react. I tried to stay as calm as possible, because I saw in his eyes that he is making a decision – a decision that has something to do with me. He then took my dirty hand into his perfectly clean one. We both watched our hands entwined, and although his was ice cold, I could not be happier. It felt like being touched by an angel. It was the first of many gifts from my Father.

„You will endure three days of pain, and then your real life will begin.", he told me. I nodded, although I had no idea what he meant. I trusted him. I even trusted him when he sank his teeth into my neck.

….

The first few months were challenging, more for Marcus than for me. I was beyond happy. For the first time in my life, I was strong. I had someone who was kind to me. I had a new, beautiful body. I was clean. I was given new, unbelievably pretty clothes. I felt like a princess.

But what was more important, Marcus thought me how to read. This was actually one of my first requests after I have awoken (my first request, understandably, was to ease the terrible thirst I was experiencing). Just as I drained my first human ever, blood still on my mouth, I respectfully inquired if Marcus can read. He laughed his wonderful, quiet laugh that I would come to adore. As I finished the second human, I respectfully asked if he would teach me. He nodded. That night he showed me all letters and explained how to read. Finally! Learning how to read was much easier when somebody helps you and you have a vampire mind that instantly and permanently memorizes everything.

Although Marcus rolled his eyes at my request, commenting how childish it actually was, he did approve of my going back to my home village. I hated them all so terribly. I did quickly with my appalling family, but for my husband I took the time to wait until he sobers completely. I didn't kill him quickly, oh no. I took my time. Even after all this time, I cannot make myself feel anything less than complete satisfaction when I think about my revenge. If that rotten piece of shit had a grave, I would dance on it regularly.

After that, time flew by. Marcus was my father and companion. We both read just about anything there was and spent incredible amounts of time just discussing and enjoying each other's company. Although I know I owe this wonderful man my entire existence and every second of my happiness, he more than once has told me that he feels more so towards me. He explained how he has lost his mate, and stricken by extreme grief, has left his vampire family. When he found me by accident, he was already wandering for 10 years, trying to find something to give some meaning to his existence. In me, he found a hope of a future, of a daughter and a friend. His special ability of sensing connections between people enabled him that night in the woods to recognize me as an individual worthy of his time and affection. After living the nomadic, albeit luxurious life, he has decided that we should return to his family, the Volturi. He explained that 60 years of wandering was enough of a stroll, and that I should finally come in touch with other vampires. Also, in those 60 years I have acquired so much knowledge, but still thirsted for more. His family acted as patrons for artists and scientists, and therefore I would be able to gain more knowledge directly from the source. To meet some of the people who I knew of only from their works was very intriguing. Therefore, I agreed to his decision, although I had the distinctive feeling there was also some other motive for navigating us back to Volterra.

…

Volterra increased our happiness even more. Not only did it mean life in luxury, but also it was fitted for vampires. We didn't have to worry about food, about exposure, about boredom. Volterra was Disneyland for vampires. Marcus' family soon became my own. To Marcus' surprise, I very much liked my uncles, and they too accepted me instantly. After a while, Aro surprised us all by mentioning my gift. I never thought I had a gift, I just thought I was „a bit clever". Namely, almost after every conversation with an artist or a scientist, that person would experience some kind of an epiphany or a break-through. They all said it was some small remark I have made, or some of my clumsy questions that I tended to ask when I didn't understand something. Apparently, those small moments shone a new light on whatever they were working on and that helped them to move on. In an instant, everybody started referring to me as „the muse". I thought – and to this day, I still think – that is complete nonsense. I just sometimes ask silly questions, or have funny ideas, that's all. But, after Aro has made his discovery, I noticed my opinion was always sought and taken into consideration.

Decades went by, and the new age came. I was thrilled by technology and Marcus was very amused by the „toys" I was gifting him with: all state-of-the-art technology gadgets. He kept on sending new people to come and see me. He said he loved when I inspired people to invent new products or improve their ideas. Still, I always had the feeling he was expecting something to happen – something besides this odd „muse" thing I had going on. Sometimes, after some unsuspecting scientist was traveling home after a visit, he would get this look and seem a bit sad. He then would look at me as if he was expecting something, and for the love of God, I had no idea what it was.

…..

And then one of the bigger events in Volturi family history happened. We all had to go overseas, to some small place in the USA. One of the biggest American covens, known for their unnatural way of life, has done the unthinkable and created an immortal child.

That day on the snowy field changed my life. I was standing in formation. Marcus and I have exchanged a meaningful glance – we both knew that the child is not immortal, and that no crime has taken place. Uncle Aro was in a rather stupid position of trying to find a reason for punishment. And then, behind our back, we felt two vampires approaching us fast. The female one talked to Aro, while the male one stood close to her. He tried to act protectively, but there was no real challenge in it. I almost smirked as I thought that he really isn't that keen on lying down his life for the little pixie.

And then, just as I realized that the entire time I have been staring at that stranger, he turns his head towards me, just as if I have loudly called his name.

I can't explain such feeling in mere human words. One would have to be immortal to truly understand. Here goes nothing: once I saw his face, I knew these features would follow me everywhere for the rest of my existence. It wasn't this beauty – and beautiful he was, if wasn't his virility that rolled off his entire body, it wasn't even his strength or clearness of mind – it was, as soon as our eyes connected, we were bonded, and we both knew it. Because he, too, was staring at me with an intensity and unbelievably strong longing.

While a part of me wanted to drown in his eyes and wanted to run into his arms and never let go, several things happened simultaneously.

The little pixie turned and very quickly understood what happened. Her heart literally broke before my eyes, her pretty face full of agony.

From Marcus, I could feel a burst of joyous energy and a quick, fresh smile.

I myself turned on my heel and ran away.

….

I heard his steps closely behind me. I jumped into the ocean and dived. Again, he was right there. I was not about to stop. I can't tire. I can do this forever. I will do this forever if it means that yet again, there will be a man stronger than me, who can abuse his power. No thank you. He probably will demand sex. Ugh! Even the word tasted foul. The only one who tried that was my husband, and after that I have never let anyone near me in that fashion, never, ew! I am half way back to mainland when he manages to grab my ankle. In pure horror, I turn around and kick at him. Something in my face tells him to back off, and he does. I continue to swim and after some time, I realize he is now merely following me, but is not about to go hunting me.

In an almost comical manner, I manage to slosh my way out of the ocean and onto the Chinese shore. Surely, he's right after me, and although I hesitate for a full two seconds, still I turn again and run, wet clothes, barefoot and all. I think he looked slightly annoyed.

I am almost home – I just entered the Alps – when I realize I am starving. I can smell some smaller game and just hope I have a few minutes of advantage to feed.

But of course, there he is:

„Will stop trying to run away from me?", he tells, with a small deer in his arms, „Just gimme a minute!"

I guess he's hungry, too. I use that and run away again. His angry scream causes a few avalanches. I just keep on running. There you go, he's angry, he will want to punish me. He will try to make me submissive. He will try to lure me out of the protection of my Father. I will lose everything. He will hurt me!

I am beyond ecstatic when I finally reach Volterra. I literally fly through the city and hide inside the castle. All the time I can hear him behind me, all until I entered Volterra. As I assumed, the guards caught him at the castle gate. I am safe.

In the few days that it took me to swim and run back home, my family has returned. I find Father at his throne and he catches me in his ever-loving arms.

„Father!", I sob into his arms, although there is not thing such as vampire tears, but I feel like I am crying.

„My dearest", he gently kisses my dirty hair. I must look like hell!

We stand there for a while, and then he tells me softly: „Go and wash, change your clothes. Then come to me, we have to talk."

I do so in record time – I don't want to be separated from Marcus a minute longer than necessary. He again awaits me with his giant hug, and immediately I feel safe and protected.

„Dearest daughter, tell me why you ran away from your mate?", he asks me with a small smile.

„My mate?!", I ask in shock.

„That was your mate. You know of my abilities. I felt the instant and extremely strong connection between you two. He is your mate, of that I am sure."

„But Father, I don't want him!"

„You don't want your mate?", he asks in confusion, „Does he repulse you – that is impossible!?"

„No, it's not that, he is..attractive, I guess?", now this is a lie. My mind offers me images of the golden-haired man and I know he is nothing less of gorgeous., „But I don't want any mate. I don't want any change. I want to stay here, with you. I am happy with you. Father, don't let me go."

„Oh, sweetest darling", he hugs me again, but then looks at me seriously, „This doesn't mean you will lose me. This means only an addition to your life."

„But Father, he will have a claim over me. He can hurt me. He will want to..you know.", I am embarrassed to verbalize further, but I have to, „I don't want that. I don't want any man to hurt me like that ever again."

„Dearest, the trauma from your earlier life is still with you, but you can overcome it. You are not defenceless. He will claim you, but you will have claim over him too. Mates are equal. Hurting you would hurt him. Mates do not hurt each other."

„I know the theory, father, but I simply can't believe it, I'm too scared..!", I cry.

„Come, my dear, I will be there with you for as long as you need me." he tells me reassuringly.

„NONONOnononoNOOO! Don't make me do that, I don't want to see him, I am afraid!", I panic.

„Darling, the things is, we had to put the entire guard on him and he's about to kill valuable members if he doesn't calm down." and then he smiles that beautiful little smile of his, „And the only thing that can calm him down is your presence."

The idea of my dear brothers and sisters getting hurt or killed because of my cowardice is more that I can take. I hurry with Father down the corridor to a hall. Even from outside, we can hear a full-on raging battle. The sight before me is so bizarre that I have to blink to see if my immortal eyes are deceiving me.

My mate, whose name I don't even know, has dismembered at least two of my brothers, and all of that while Jane has him under his full powers. Against the unbelievable pain, he is fighting off several members of the guard, while snapping towards Uncle Caius' throat! Uncle Aro is literally hiding in the shadows, shocked beyond belief.

In a second, I know that this will end in my mate' final death if I don't step in. This realization unexpectedly hurts me. I yell from the top of my lungs:

„Stop it! Stop it NOW!"

As soon as he sees me, he stands still and looks at me with eyes full of hope, expectation and awe. I, too, must say that the idea of averting my eyes from him seems more and more distant.

Father joins Caius and Aro and the three of them exchange quick, quiet words. All the while, my mate and I stare at each other and as I take all the damage he has done, I cannot help but to feel…proud? The smallest of smiles threatens to show on my face, and it is as if he can feel it, because he graces me with the most glorious smile in history of vampires.

The atmosphere visibly relaxes. My sibling start searching for their limbs, and one of them even offers my mate a finger my mate has lost during the fight. I flinch at his injury and take a few steps towards him, but then stop myself.

„Don't fear me, my lovely", he tells me in his deep, seductive voice. He takes one small step towards me.

„Close enough", I say, but I feel it's not what I really want. My fear and my attraction to him battle inside of me just as hard as the actual battle minutes before.

„It's never in a million years close enough", he tells me sadly but stays put, respecting my wishes.

„I don't even know your name", I say.

„Major Jasper Whitlock, ma'am", he bows to me deeply. He has a very curios and endearing accent, „May I ask your name?"

Oh. Right.

„Thalia Volturi", I say. That was not my human name, but the name Father chose for me: Thalia, the muse of comedy. He often laughed at my silly remarks and questions, especially when I was very young and learned everything from books, thus often misunderstanding and asking him for clarification.

„It is a true pleasure to make your acquaintance", he smiles at me. I can't believe this courteous young man is the same beast that just minutes ago was about to maul uncle Caius. By the annoyed looks being shot from Caius' side towards Jasper, Caius was of the same sentiment.

"So why exactly did you decide to destroy one of our finest halls and harm my brothers and sisters?", I ask him sternly. His smile falters and he quickly looks around at the absolute chaos he has caused.

"You know very well", he says, one eyebrow raised. As I don't give any sign about knowing or not knowing, he continues more angrily, "They were trying to separate me from you! That's punishable by death. You are my mate. I was and still am well within my rights!"

And these words are more than enough for all my fear to roar up inside of me. I can't help it, I run away again, and I don't care if it running away is childish or pointless. But I don't make it far, because I realize there are no steps following me. Instead, my enhanced hearing picks up my Father's voice from within the hall, and I'm not above eavesdropping.

"…and you should know better, my young fellow, since you are an empath. Should you not be especially attentive when it comes to your mate? Or are you telling me that you did not feel her panic and fear?", Marcus' silky voice is laced with suppressed anger.

"I've felt it, her fear", Jasper's strained voice is heard, "But it makes no sense. She's my mate. Why is she afraid of me? She swam the ocean to get away from me! What is wrong with her?"

"Nothing is wrong with her, you stupid, insolent idiot!", my uncle Caius hisses at him, "If you weren't her mate, I would end you right now and here for such words!"

"Dear brother, while I do understand your fury…", uncle Aro tries to calm everyone by his usual sweet talk.

"Why on earth would our beloved Thalia, the most kind and smart of all of us, be punished for all eternity with such an unworthy piece of Cullen scum, that is completely beyond me!", Caius is not about to calm down any time soon, "And look at him! A common soldier, and what an appearance! The poor girl will be permanently terrorized by those scares! Every vampire in radius of a hundred miles flinches at your sight, you dog."

"My beautiful daughter deserves nothing but all the respect and admiration, that is the truth.", my Father adds, slightly changing the topic. I am very confused by uncle Caius' remarks regarding Jasper's appearance – while he does scare me, it has nothing to do with his looks. My mind shows me repeated images of Jasper – I think he is extremely attractive. He's god-like. Tall, with a sharp jawline, full lips, deep eyes, with a devilish smile, strong…oh sweet lord. My mouth literally watered just thinking about him. I could not be more confused.

"I deeply apologize for my harsh and ungrounded words. I spoke hastily and in pain. Please, understand me", I can hear pain and sincerity in Jasper's voice, "I am being rejected by my mate. Surely you can understand the pain I am in."

"You will have to forgive my daughter", my Father voice again, "The trauma she's been through during her human life is so severe that it affects her even in this immortal life."

"Can you tell me more about that?", Jasper asks, and I re-enter the room. I will not stand by while anyone else, even my Father, speaks instead of me. I and only I speak for myself.

"I would like to be left alone with Major Whitlock.", I respectfully ask of the three kings. If he wants to know, I will tell him. He deserves that much.

"No.", all of them answer immediately.

"I do not want my private life to be discussed in front of the entire guard!", I object.

"It takes the entire guard to keep your mate from destroying half of the castle!", uncle Caius hisses.

"The guard are your sisters and brothers, anyway. There are no secrets between us.", Aro offers.

"May I just add. I am sincerely sorry for acting like I did", Jasper says, "I promise not to hurt any vampire not add to any destruction within these walls."

"No, you won't.", little Jane smiles devilishly and in an instant, Jasper is on the floor, experiencing the most intense pain Jane can produce. Seeing him in such pain hurts me beyond measure, and before I can even think about what I'm doing, I am on Jane, pushing her with all my might into a concrete wall. Jasper is on his feet instantly; all the while Jane and I exchange deep and menacing growls.

"Maybe we can give the young ones some privacy.", Marcus decides calmly, challenging his brothers with a determined look, "Daughter, we are all waiting for any sign of distress, and are ready to come in and help."

"Thank you, Father.", I try to smile a little, but my fear is already starting to build up.

As soon as we are left alone, I step as far away as possible from my supposed mate. He watches me closely and respects the distance.

Suddenly, I feel as if subtle waves of calmness reach me. The feeling is welcoming, but also weird.

"Are you doing something to me?", I accuse him.

"I feel great levels of distress coming from you. I have ability both to feel what others feel, and to influence their feelings. I was sending you calming feelings.", he answers.

"Stop it. I don't want to be influenced.", it makes me angry that he has a need to dominate me.

"I only wanted to help.", he defends his position, but I can feel all the artificial feelings leaving me.

"I am not some puppet that will dance to your music."

This takes him aback. I can see now that he really only meant to help me.

"Will you tell me the reason for your hostility?", he asks me.

"I think it's only fair", I nod. And then I sit down and start talking. I tell him about my childhood, about the beatings, I told him about my father, and my mother, too. About my brother and about me. I tell him about being sold off like cattle. About being abused. I don't leave details out. I can see the horror in his eyes as I explain what I had to suffer through. Bones broken, bleeding everywhere. Starved, beaten, degraded. Waiting to die and then trying one last time to fight for myself. Meeting Father…my life changing. Finally having something to lose. Guarding myself from losing it ever. Avoiding men, avoiding intimacy.

"So, you are telling me, in your 270 years of this life, you have never fallen in love?", he asks me.

"I only love my Father and my family, but never was any romance involved.", I confirm, "I wouldn't even know what that is. And the little I know, makes me reject the idea to ever explore such territories."

"But you do know about mates?", he inquires, confused. Also, when did we move so that now we stand only a few feet apart?

"Of course, I do. But this does not apply to me.", I say, and I honestly believe that, "I think I'm…damaged somehow. I am sorry that I am supposed to be your mate. You deserve better than that. And you were right, there is something wrong with me. I'm damaged goods. Come on, isn't it obvious? Have you ever heard that upon meeting for the first time, a mate runs away?"

"So why did you attack Jane when she was raining her rage on me?", he smiles now.

"I have no idea.", and I honestly don't have a clue. I just did.

"A mate cannot see the other mate suffering. The connection is so deep, that we feel the other's pain.", he points out, "So, I wouldn't say you're damaged. Your reaction was exactly how a mate is supposed to react."

"I don't know about that", I answer, shaking my head, "I don't know anything anymore. If I was intended to ever have a mate, and mates are supposed to be perfect for each other, would it not be logical that my mate is everything exactly opposite from you?"

"What do you mean?", he asks curiously.

"Men who are so…strong, intimidate me. I would need, to be honest, some sissy!", he laughs at that, "Yes, that's maybe amusing to you, but I would need a real weakling so I don't feel intimidated. I mean, I am scared now, while I have the entire Volturi guard ready to jump to my protection! And also.."

I guess I would blush if that was a possibility for me.

"Tell me, please", he urges me on.

"Since I don't want to—to be intimate…my mate should be..ugly? Repulsive. And you're..not.", I admit.

Somehow, he's even closer than before. I can only stare at his beautiful face. Caius must be blind. Jasper is unbelievably beautiful.

"I can't hurt you without hurting myself.", he whispers, "And why would I want to hurt you? I want to make you feel happy."

Ever so slowly, he gently caresses my face. The tiniest amount of fear starts rising inside of me and I close my eyes, trying to make the fear go away. But the touch is gone.

"I can feel your fear", he states warmly, "I will withdraw any time I feel it, ok? Can we try that? Will you allow me to stay in your presence like that?"

Coward that I am, I will not open my eyes, but I nod my head. I can feel him smirking happily, and I too feel a little bit of relief.

…

I am sure the entire castle is having the time of their lives. Everybody thinks it's hilarious that there is a couple that is supposed to be mated and yet they are not. Wherever I go, I can feel the snickering and not-so-subtle jokes. Jasper follows me with the patience of a saint. The insults he must feel all time coming from all the onlookers must be horrendous. What kind of a male is he, if even his mate rejects him? Is it because he's so scary and off-putting? With all those scars… and yet, he brushes all those negative thoughts off and keeps on following me.

We are, truth be told, together the entire time. He accompanies me to my meetings with scientists and is highly impressed by all the topics I cover with them. We talk the entire time and soon I start feeling more and more relaxed in his presence. Yet, any time he tries to hold me or get closer to me, my panic rises and he immediately backs off. I feel his pain through our bond and feel more and more guilty.

Our unusual courtship lasts for more than three months already when one particularly beautiful night, we find ourselves in a rose garden all alone. We talk quietly and share a joke or two, and in the spur of the moment, he leans into me and gently presses his lips to mine.

I really, really wanted to respond. I really wanted to kiss him back. But centuries of fear took their toll, and I froze. Once again, he gave up and turned his lovely face away from me.

"I'm sorry", I whisper.

"Maybe it's really not meant to be", I hear him verbalize that thought for the first time. Just a few months ago, I would be very fine with this statement, but hearing it now broke something inside of me.

"Don't say that", I say so quietly that it's barely audible.

"I never had much luck with women, you know", he smiles bitterly.

"Please, tell me", this made me curious. Who would reject this beautiful man? Except of, off course, me. But apparently, I'm a bit "not all there" when it comes to such things.

And then he tells me about his past love life. While his first love, Maria, turned out to be a manipulative bitch, who abused his powers, and made him go through hell and back, his other partner, the little pixie that I remember leaving heartbroken on that snowy field, treated him as some kind of pet project. He was rather close to breaking things off with her when he met me. There were flings between those two women, but always it turned out to be some woman who had ulterior motives.

"So, there you go. I never hit a lady, never cheated, never abused or manipulated. And in return, I always found myself in some idiotic position.", he sighed.

"And then, your luck changes dramatically, and you meet me", I say sarcastically.

"And then I meet you, and you make me follow you like a god-damned dog, and no matter how hard I try, I'm getting nowhere", he smiles bitterly.

"You're pretty much done with me, right?", I ask, and dread fills me up.

"I don't see this going everywhere, darlin. The idea of being with you like this hurts me. The idea of being without me hurts me. I'm stuck.", he sighs.

"We both are.", I agree.

He then walks away and leaves me alone.

I wait a minute. I wait an hour. I finally realize he's not coming back. That realization breaks something inside of me and I start feeling pain and panic and loneliness and overwhelming guilt. I have hurt my mate. Other mates bind themselves to the other within minutes of meeting the first time, and I have rejected my mate for months. I have humiliated him and broken him. I am the worst creature that has even roamed this world.

I run, tasting the air for his scent, and find it leads to his room. But he's not there, and I realize he has left through the window. The scent is faint and is about to vanish completely. In a haze of distress, I run following his scent, and it leads me out of Volterra. He has truly abandoned me. I run faster and after half an hour, the scent becomes stronger, meaning I'm getting closer. After ten more minutes, I can see a faint shadow in the forest, quickly vanishing to north. It must be him! Another minute and I know he can hear me following. I run even faster.

"JASPER!", I shout.

He heard me; I know he did. Shouting wasn't even necessary; he'd heard my steps already. Still, he keeps on running, albeit a bit slower than before.

"Jasper, please stop!", I tell to the wind, "Please, Jasper."

He slows down additionally, and then finally stops and turns towards me. There are some 200 yards between us.

"Don't leave, Jasper", I tell him.

He only stares at me, an indecisive look on his handsome face.

"I am so sorry. I have been so stupid. And you have been nothing but kind. I don't deserve you, Jasper", I admit, "Yet I want you. Please, Jasper."

"I can still feel your fear", he says.

"I know. But can you feel my resolve, too? I want to get over my fears. I'm tired of being afraid."

He just looks at me, and I know I have to do better.

"And I know you are tired too, Jasper. You must be tired of being treated so unkindly. I am so ashamed that I too was a woman who wronged you. I know what I did goes against our nature. I can't apologize enough."

He then walks towards me, a boy does he take his time. I cannot take it anymore, and start walking towards him. My walk turns into a run, and in a matter of seconds I find myself in front of him.

"Now, what?", he asks me, a bit annoyed.

"Would you please kiss me?", I ask timidly.

"So you can just flinch and run away?", he deals a low blow, which makes me angry.

"Porco dio!", I shout and angrily pull him towards me and violently kiss him.

Something about this makes him laugh, so our first kiss turns into a mixture of laughter, relief, and joy.

"Girl, you'll drive me crazy", he whispers. I hungrily demand another kiss, and he is more than happy to oblige. The second kiss is much more passionate than the first one. Out of breath (which neither of us need anyway), he asks, "Does this mean you're willing to try?"

"I'll try anything, as long as it is with you", I answer and for the first time, I feel no fear as he closes in for another of many kisses yet to come.