"His dad killed himself?" Lucas repeats incredulously, and Dustin feels it like a punch in his gut.

Jim had seated them – Mike, Lucas, Will, and Dustin – on the couch and had disclosed to them what had been going on tonight. What had happened.

Steve asked him to.

Of course, Mrs. Byers and Jonathan were told the news first. Eighth graders were totally last on the totem pole in the hierarchy of "in the loop."

"Yes, he did," Jim confirms calmly, leaning forward in the armchair with his elbows on his knees. "He had been drinking and then he took some – a lot – of painkillers." Jim clears his throat. "The combination of the two was fatal."

An unnerving sort of silence lingers until Mike speaks up. "His dad hurt him, didn't he?" He's fidgeting relentlessly with his hands. "Steve? That's why he came here to begin with."

Jim nods. "I'm afraid so."

Jonathan and Mrs. Byers are hovering in the doorway. Mrs. Byers is holding a fist up to her mouth, trying not to cry.

Dustin can feel his heart beating in his chest. If Joyce and Jonathan are in the living room with them, that means that Steve is alone.

Steve shouldn't be alone.

Not now.

Dustin doesn't bother excusing himself. He just stands up and heads determinedly toward Jonathan's bedroom.

"Sweetie," Joyce tries to stop him. "He wants a few minutes to himself—"

Dustin doesn't acknowledge her in the slightest.

Screw that.

xxx

Dustin knocks, but he doesn't wait for Steve to welcome or dismiss him before he opens the door slowly.

Steve is sitting on Jonathan's bed holding a nearly finished Rubik's cube. He lifts his head when he hears the creak of the door.

"Hey," Dustin says timidly.

"Hey," Steve returns, voice wrecked. He beckons Dustin into the room by tapping the space on the bed beside him.

Dustin swallows thickly as he closes the door and settles into the spot next to Steve. He's relieved Steve didn't turn him away, but he has absolutely no idea what to say.

"Steve…"

Steve's quick to let him off the hook. "You don't have to say anything," he rushes to say, reaching to swipe at his eyes with his left hand. Dustin can see moisture on his cheeks. "This is so fucked up that I can't even…"

He trails off, tosses the Rubik's cube aside. He lets out a shuddering breath and leans forward to bury his face in his hands.

"Yeah," Dustin agrees. He licks his lips as he watches Steve. He hates that his usually perfectly quaffed hair is hanging limp and damp in front of his eyes. It makes him look that much more defeated.

They sit in silence for a while. Dustin reaches for the Rubik's cube and starts fiddling with it. Tries to think of something to break the resounding quiet.

Eventually he settles on: "So my mom got a new cat."

Steve drops his hands and turns his head to face Dustin. "Oh yeah?" He sounds curious. His lips are even quirking up into a little smile.

Dustin will take that. He runs with it.

"We went down to the shelter this morning," he continues. "She picked out a Siamese kitten."

He's the cutest little thing. Tews, she named him.

"So she finally gave up on Mews, huh?"

Dustin nods. "Yeah. I didn't think she ever would."

Steve runs his hands through his hair. "You ever gonna tell her the truth?"

"Dude, hell no."

Dustin feels guilty about Mews, sure, but he figures his mom is better off never knowing how he met his demise.

Steve chuckles. Actually chuckles. It sounds tired, but not forced and it helps Dustin relax a bit. But then Steve realizes he's laughing and stops abruptly, a culpable look settling into his features.

It doesn't go unnoticed by Dustin.

"You can talk to me, you know," he says easily.

Steve shakes his head and tears start welling up in his eyes. "Not much to talk about," he says, lifting a shoulder up in a shrug. "My dad's dead. End of story."

"Steve, c'mon," Dustin tries gently. "You know you can't just brush this off."

"Well I can't deal with it either," he snaps, and Dustin recoils a bit at the harshness of his tone. Steve lets out a deep breath and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Sorry, man. I'm sorry. I just… I don't know how to feel right now."

"Overwhelmed?" Dustin offers.

Steve nods. "Yeah, that's probably a given." He curls his arms around his stomach, rocks back and forth slowly. "I can't believe he's really dead. I-I shouldn't have left."

Dustin's heart aches. He's not going to let Steve feel guilty about this. "Steve, Hopper said your dad was hurting you. Of course you should have left. I mean… Jesus, when you first showed up here—"

Dustin remembers the terrified look on Steve's face, the cuts up and down his arms, how he was soaking wet, out of breath…

Steve gulps hard. "I know," he says, voice teetering on the edge of breaking. "I know it looked really bad. God…" he's pinching the bridge of his nose again. Dustin can see his entire arm trembling, can see sweat beading on his brow. His other hand is still gripping his stomach tightly.

"Hey," Dustin grips Steve's shoulder gently, worried now. "You okay?"

Steve takes some measured breaths. "Feel like I'm gonna throw up," he answers when he finds his voice, trying to hold back the urge to gag. Dustin can hear him swallowing convulsively.

"Okay," he says tenuously calm. "Want to move to the bathroom?"

But Steve shakes his head. "I'm too dizzy," he breathes and sounds weak – like he's barely holding onto consciousness. "Fuck. Dustin…"

"I know, buddy," Dustin says. He lets go of Steve's shoulder and stands to frantically search Jonathan's room for something for Steve to puke in.

"Here," he says, grabbing ahold of Jonathan's full wastebasket – located under his desk – and dumps out all of the contents in his haste to make it back to Steve in time. "Here, Steve."

Steve can only whimper his thanks before grabbing the basin and giving into the sickness that had been plaguing him ever since Hopper had broken the news.

Dustin stands, hovering, looking away and trying to tune out the sounds of his friend's distress.

When it's all through and Steve is left panting and breathless, Dustin turns back to face him.

He turns and focuses his attention on Steve just in time to see him list sideways. Dustin lunges to catch him, feeling his own stomach drop into his toes.

There are remnants of blood and bile on Steve's lips and down his front.

Dustin starts hollering for help.