Helping Hands

"I thought you said we were going home?" Logan mused, peering out of the window when Clay steered the Stingray into Nathan and Haley's driveway. "Are you confused again? This is Jamie's house."

"Of course I'm not confused, you dork," said Clay with a valiant attempt at calm. "I just need you to stay with Aunt Haley for a little while. I have something I need to take care of at work, okay? I promise I'll come and pick you up later; no forgetting!"

"If you're sure," said Logan dubiously, but fortunately for Clay, Jamie had spotted the car pull up and came running out to greet his cousin.

Clay snuck past the two boys into the kitchen, where Haley stood chopping vegetables. She looked up with a start, laying down her knife with a smile when she saw him. "Hey, stranger," she said, moving around the counter to hug him.

"I was just dropping Logan off. I have to get back to the office for a bit," he informed her, but when he tried to pull back, Haley squeezed harder. "What are you trying to do, choke me?"

"No," she sighed, but her eyes were damp when she stepped back. "I'm just worried about you guys, that's all. Quinn is really scared you'll shut down on her."

"It's kind of amazing how often we have the same fears. On New Year's Eve, I found her down on the beach in the middle of the night. She said the ocean felt too immense again. That hasn't happened in a long time."

"Immensity," said Haley thoughtfully; "Quinn's been obsessed with that metaphor since we were little kids; it drove my brothers crazy that they could never convince her to get close to the waves." She smiled knowingly; "The first time in years she stepped into the ocean was for you. Never forget what a big deal that was."

"I know." Clay nodded, embarrassed to feel his throat swelling shut. "Shit, I didn't come here for this. You're already the glue holding Quinn's heart together; you don't need any more of this."

"Heaviness?" Haley finished for him, the sympathetic smile never wavering. "Dude, I've been there; I can take it. Not telling us about Sara for a year and a half was one thing; you can't carry this all by yourself, and we won't let you. Is that clear?"

"Crystal," said Clay softly. This time, when Haley held out her hand, he let her lead him to the staircase and sit for a moment. "I should really be getting back to work."

"Just take a breath, would you?" she ordered sternly. "Your business partner is pretty badass now if I do say so myself."

"That he is," Clay admitted, but his gratitude for Nathan couldn't seem to make it past his lips. "Damn it, Haley, between you and my mother insisting on pausing for breath, the only thing that's going to happen is a breakdown."

"And what is so wrong with that?" demanded Haley.

"You'll have leverage forever that you've seen me cry like a little girl," he groaned.

"You might want to take back that insult to little girls everywhere," she told him, turning around at a thumping noise on the steps above them. "Including mine," Haley added when Lydia came toddling carefully down the stairs, pausing at the barricade her mother and Clay formed.

Haley tried to lift her daughter onto her lap, but Lydia gave a squawk of protest and reached for Clay instead. "See?" Haley smiled; "You wouldn't want to insult this girl in any way, would you?"

"Never." Clay buried his face in Lydia's soft brown curls, and now Haley could see his hands shaking. "She's perfect."

"Too tight!" the three-year-old objected, wriggling off Clay's knees. But she turned to her mother, frowning when he stroked her hair gently. "Mama, why is Uncle Clay being a funny duck?"

"Where did you hear that?" Haley laughed.

"Aunt Quinnie," said Lydia. "She was sad, right?" The toddler turned solemnly to Clay when his hand stilled on her head. "Are you sad, too?"

"Yeah," Clay whispered. "Has anyone ever told you your hugs have magic powers, Lyddie Bug?"

"That's what Daddy says, too," Lydia beamed. "Do you want another one? Only not so tight, okay?"

"No promises," Clay told her, lifting the little girl back onto his knees. She pressed one hand to his heart and stuck her other thumb in her mouth. "Thanks, kiddo."

"You'll have this someday," Haley promised, and Clay looked up at her, his arms still curled around Lydia. "She reminds me so much of Quinn sometimes, you know. I get my favorite sister in my baby girl, and it is pure magic."

"How do you mean?" Clay asked, and Haley's eyes twinkled.

"Did Quinn ever tell you about what facing the ocean was like when she was younger?" When he shook his head, Haley didn't need further prompting to launch into the story her older siblings had recounted many times over the years.

Summer 1990

The James family had been Tree Hill residents for so many years that spending their summers on the beaches around town was nothing unusual. When Jimmy James parked the practical van he had sold his precious truck for after Lydia's first pregnancy had turned out to be twins, the family rushed out towards the sand. "Take care of each other," Lydia called out to her oldest children, two-year-old Haley wriggling in her arms.

While most of her siblings surged towards the waves lapping at the shore, four-year-old Quinn stood back, anxiously watching the tide. She had just been prescribed glasses for the first time and almost missed not knowing how vast the ocean could look. She bit her lip when her older sister Taylor rolled her eyes at Quinn's hesitation; she could be a brat sometimes. "You don't want to go in either?" said her youngest brother's voice suddenly, and Quinn looked up to see Frank standing on the shore, the waves barely reaching his toes. He wore glasses too, but at ten years old, Quinn thought they made him look smart, unlike her owlish pair.

"I'm scared," Quinn whispered. "There's so much water. What if I fall?"

"You want to know a cool word for something very big?" Frank mused, reaching for her hand when she nodded eagerly. "Immensity. It means something so huge that we can barely even begin to understand where it begins and ends. I don't blame you for being scared."

"Immensity," Quinn echoed in wonder. "I like that word." Nonetheless, she flinched when the waves surged again, and Frank tightly squeezed her fingers.

"I promise you won't fall," he told her, but Quinn's nerves wouldn't let her believe him. Frank knew a lot about many things but couldn't possibly understand feeling too little to face the giant ocean. The little girl bit her lip, feeling very silly for her massive fear, but even anchored by her brother, her feet would not move.

"What are you guys doing way over here?" Their oldest brother's voice interrupted Quinn's musings suddenly. Jake's sopping wet hair was plastered to his head, but striding towards the shallower water, the fourteen-year-old looked majestic to his fearful little sister. Turning towards the shore, Quinn saw Jake's twin sister Vivian tossing a beach ball back and forth with twelve-year-old Nick and Taylor, who at the tender age of seven was already moody and didn't particularly get along with anyone. Quinn supposed she should be grateful Taylor wasn't teasing her anymore.

"Quinn's a little scared of the water," Frank informed J.J. matter-of-factly. "Do you think we can do something about that? I was explaining the meaning of immensity to her."

"You're a human textbook sometimes, Frankie," Jake laughed. "The best way to beat her fear is to face it." He knelt to Quinn's level, warmth and compassion in his dark eyes as her lips quivered. "How about a piggyback ride?" he suggested. "It won't be scary if your feet never even touch the deeper water, don't you think?"

"Maybe," Quinn mumbled doubtfully, but when Frankie hoisted her onto Jake's shoulders, she couldn't help but giggle. Her brothers were the very coolest, and she was a lucky girl, that much was certain.

"That's incredible," said Clay when Haley was finished. "You know, even though I'm older than you, you sometimes make me feel like a naughty little kid. My older sisters both live so far away. I don't think I've ever told you how nice that feels."

"I have that effect on people," Haley laughed. But when the deep sadness in his eyes didn't disperse, she just took his hand firmly. "You can always talk to me; I hope you know that. Lydia has proven her superpowers at this point. I like to think they're genetically hard-wired."

"There's absolutely no doubt about that. Lydia is one hundred percent a James girl. Magic hugs and all," said Clay fondly. "I love that kid." Reluctantly, he checked his watch and grimaced. "I really need to get back to work; enough wallowing."

"It's not wallowing to face your feelings once in a while, better than running away," said Haley sternly.

"Now you really sound like my sister," Clay groaned. "It's not running, it's surviving. This isn't my first rodeo with pain, Haley. I can handle it."

"I know you can. My point is you don't have to, dummy." With a frustrated sigh, Haley released his hand. Lydia had wandered off halfway through her story about childhood beach visits. "How's Quinn doing with everything? I was wondering if I should call in the cavalry. That's the nice thing about having a big family: plenty of people ready to listen when you have a problem. That's what I was getting at all along. We'll be pissed off if you insist on coping with this alone, understand?"

"I hear you," said Clay impatiently. "But right now, I actually do have to get going." Clay's grasp on his emotions felt more fragile with every minute spent in Haley's presence. He left the Scott mansion, leaving her anxiously gazing after his retreating back. In his car, Clay suddenly realized that he hadn't even gotten around to telling her about Katie lurking at the school. It was probably just as well, he mused, turning on the radio to drown out the fear that crept up at the thought of his stalker. She couldn't hurt him and Quinn any more than she already had. Her reasons for returning to Tree Hill were none of his business, and Clay wanted to keep it that way.

Across town, Katie winced when the kitchen knife she was using to chop dinner ingredients for Melissa nicked her finger. For a girl so gifted at the shooting range before she was deemed unfit to own a gun, not to mention a tennis champion, Katie was a menace in the kitchen. "I am still capable of cooking, you know," her sister grumbled from her seat at the kitchen table. "You might want to stop before you hurt yourself anymore."

"I can do it!" Katie snapped. "If you mess with the stove and then forget about it, you could burn the place down. I kind of like being alive, thank you very much."

"Even Bobby only has one working hand, thanks to his cast. I have this vague memory that he always hangs out in the kitchen when I'm cooking," said Melissa softly, as if thinking aloud.

"He does," Katie acknowledged. "Because being around you is much safer than his alternative. Do you really remember that?" she pressed hopefully. "Maybe that means more will come back eventually. No pressure, of course," she tacked on hastily when Melissa looked crestfallen. "Has Kevin given you any more trouble lately?"

"I haven't seen much of him lately," Melissa mused thoughtfully. "I suppose detective work is time-consuming. When he's home, he's usually in a bad mood. I don't really understand it."

"That's probably a good thing," Katie muttered. "The less he's around you, the less chances to get hurt again or worse."

"I wish you would just tell me what he did," her sister sighed. "These gaps in my memory are freaky. I know how I'm supposed to feel about many things, but the reasons why are foggy." She looked up at Katie with glassy eyes; "Thank you for staying, Kate."

Katie abandoned her chopping board and moved to stand bracingly beside Melissa. "I'm not going anywhere," she vowed. "Not this time!"

A/N: My first time writing James babies, a little fun in all the angst. Enjoy! xx