Fragile Hearts

By the time she heard Clay's thumping footfalls, Quinn was breathing normally again. But she could still feel the tears just below the surface, a hollow ache that never seemed to fade. He wrenched the Jeep's driver's side door open and stared at her, breathing heavily. "What happened?" he demanded, clutching a painful stitch in his side. "Are you okay?"

"Wow, Dad, that was just like The Flash," Logan marvelled. "Did you really run all the way over here?"

"Left the Batmobile at home today, smarty-pants," Clay told him distractedly, looking at Quinn's fingers, still quivering in Logan's steadying grasp. "Was Katie at the school?" he pressed, dreading the answer.

"I'm sorry," said Quinn, almost in a whimper. "I shouldn't have panicked; you need to be at the office. I freaked Logan out for no reason."

"Stop it!" Clay took his wife's hand and pulled her out of the car into a tight hug. "Katie isn't no reason to freak out, I did the exact same thing. You're safe now, I promise."

"I actually went to yell at her," Quinn admitted. "I told her to stay away from you; after that, it all kind of hit me at once. That's when I lost it."

"She was amazing," Logan chimed in, his voice full of admiration. "Even got an apology out of Bobby Ryan, I didn't think that was possible."

"That doesn't surprise me one bit." Clay wiped away the last traces of Quinn's tears and returned the hug when she clung to him for dear life. "Your mother is a badass, even if it takes a few tears to get results."

"Now I really feel like an idiot," Quinn groaned, burying her face against his chest. "Should I have interfered in the drama of eight-year-olds? I don't know anymore."

"This particular eight-year-old sounds like a little jerk, to be fair," Clay pointed out. "And if nothing else, Katie certainly warrants this reaction. I'm sorry you ever had to cross paths with her."

"Who's Katie?" Logan asked, tilting his head like a curious puppy. "I know she's Bobby's aunt. How do you know her?"

Quinn shivered at the mere mention of the name, and Clay tightened his arms around her once more, as if he could shield her from the memories. "That's a long story," he said faintly.

Thanksgiving 2014 – Five Years Earlier

"Are you going to look at me like that for the whole weekend?" Clay grumbled, trying not to wince as he reached for more mashed potatoes. Both of his older sisters had made the trip from England for Thanksgiving this year, and he almost wished they would start squabbling with each other instead. Petunia muttered something sarcastic under her breath, but sitting beside him, Lily's fingers trembled on the tabletop. Clay reached for her hand and squeezed, aware that his mother's eyes were misting over at the head of the table, classic chain reaction. "I'm fine, Flo," he promised Lily, whom he had called Flower since before he could even talk properly.

"But you weren't fine just two months ago," said Petunia sharply, penetrating the heavy silence with the statement. "Do you have any idea what it was like, seeing you hooked up to that damn ventilator? Who the hell was the bitch who did it anyway? Freaking agents aren't supposed to get involved with gun-wielding nutjobs!"

"Tuney," said Lily placatingly, though her voice shook. "Everything's alright now, relax."

Marie had been staring blankly at her dinner plate while the twins squabbled, but now spoke. "But what if it hadn't been, huh?" Clay pushed his chair back with a scraping noise and moved to stand beside his mother. The tears she had obviously been suppressing with difficulty finally broke free, slipping out from beneath the hands she pressed over her eyes. "I can't believe how close we came to losing you. It's too much to imagine!"

"You don't have to imagine it," said Clay firmly. "You don't! I'm absolutely fine, okay? You're going to be stuck with me for many years to come."

"I had to tell Sam and Lil about the shooting," said Marie, and Clay's hand slipped off her shoulder as he stared at her in horror. "We all thought you were going to die. Logan is still only four years old, Clay. I know you struggled to take care of him, but you could at least try not to go looking for trouble. Aren't you going to get him back someday?"

"I didn't ask to get shot, Mom," Clay protested heatedly. "The woman was mentally unstable. Quinn almost died because of me, that's enough guilt to be getting on with. If I start worrying about what Sam and Lil think of me now, I'll need to go back to Dr. Alvarez."

"Would that be the worst thing in the world?" his mother questioned. "Maybe you just need more time to figure all this out. You will get Logan back someday; I truly believe that. Sam and Lil miss you; you know? I'm still in touch with them, just so that Logan doesn't forget about me too. He's a darling."

"I know he is," Clay sighed. "That's why he deserves better than me, why is that so hard for you to understand? I know it's cowardly to just leave, but I had to. I lost the most important person in my life at that apartment. I couldn't stay…," he trailed off, out of excuses that sounded more pitiful by the minute. "Can we please change the subject?"

Lily obliged with a story about her daughter Louisa's latest antics back in England and the tense mood passed. But by the time he returned to Tree Hill, Clay's guilty conscience had what felt like a vice-like grip on his fragile heart. As if Katie hadn't been enough to deal with, he owed Quinn the truth about his past sooner rather than later. Unfortunately, that secret was bound to hurt in places inside him he hadn't probed in a very long time.

"Wait, you were shot?" Logan gasped, and Clay, who had been telling the story in an almost trance-like state, looked up to see that Quinn had gone ghostly pale. "You never told me that before."

"It's hardly the kind of thing that comes up in normal conversation. Katie shot Quinn and me for rejecting her advances; that's how I know she's disturbed." Clay flinched involuntarily just talking about the object of his recent nightmares and took the steadying hand Quinn offered gratefully.

"Do you think crazy runs in that family? Bobby is already so mean to me now; I can't imagine what he'll be like as a teenager." Logan shuddered at the thought, and Quinn wiped her eyes and put her free arm around him.

"Luckily, your teens are a long way off," she said firmly. "Missing out on the first six years of your life was more than enough. Let's not wish for time to go any faster."

"Thanks for sticking up for me, Mama Q," Logan murmured, nuzzling into her side. "I missed you."

"It's in the job description," Quinn sighed, looking up to see Clay's eyes brimming with pure love. "I just forgot that for a while."

"Dad took six years to remember, still the record-holder," said Logan teasingly, too busy coaxing a smile back onto Quinn's lips to notice the pain flash across his father's face. "Maybe we should go visit Nana again this weekend? Everything is better over there."

"Maybe," said Quinn distractedly, and Logan beamed and climbed back into the car, cheered by the prospect of another visit home so soon. Quinn shut the car door behind him, then gave Clay a concerned look. "Are you okay? I've been such a basket case; I just now realized I never really checked in. Is this about what Logan said earlier?"

"It must be," Clay shrugged half-heartedly, turning his back on her to wipe his eyes furiously. "It hurts more than expected every time he talks about being left behind. I did that to him! What kind of parent abandons a one-year-old?"

"The kind that lost the mother of their child tragically and suddenly, I imagine," Quinn pointed out fiercely.

"God, I'm sorry…I thought I got this out of my system with Lily earlier," Clay muttered, beginning to pace up and down the basketball court.

"I don't have it out of my system; why on earth should you have to?" Quinn moved into the middle of the court, where Clay had finally halted. "Maybe it's good that Dan's not around anymore; keep this up, and he might have tried to dunk your head in the ocean again."

"Uncalled for!" Clay huffed. But the hint of a laugh was all Quinn had been waiting for, and she clasped her arms around his neck, drawing Clay in for a kiss before he could say anything else.

"I love you," she said, raising her voice as if to drown out his demons. "And our perfect kid loves you, no matter what you've been through or what happens from here. Nothing will ever change that!"

Meanwhile, Melissa and Bobby practically had to drag Katie back to the motel where she was staying. "How am I still the stable one around here, amnesia and all?" Melissa quipped, trying to make her sister crack a smile. But Katie hadn't said a word since Quinn's anger snuffed out the fire in her eyes. Her older sister deposited her in a chair in a corner of the room. "I wish it was safe for you to come home with us."

Bobby had been staring at his aunt's increasingly vacant expression, looking sadder than Melissa had seen him so far, and that killed her more than anything. "Is this because I begged her to help us? Do you think it was too much pressure? What's happening, Mom?"

"No!" his mother insisted, turning away from Katie to reach for his hand. "Listen to me; this is in no way your fault. You're too young to realize it, but this is just a pattern with Aunt Katie. Don't you remember when I said her moods go up and down frequently? The highs and lows can both get extreme sometimes. That's all this is."

"Is there something we can do to make it better?" Bobby pondered, pulling away from her to kneel at Katie's feet. "I told her we need her; that's still true."

"Nobody needs me," Katie murmured, and Bobby pressed his head into her lap as if to prove the statement wrong. "What am I supposed to do against a bloody cop? He'll just get me committed again with a snap of his fingers."

"Kate…," Melissa began, but the lump in her throat prevented her from saying more. She moved behind the chair and rested her head on top of Katie's, both arms around her sister. "You never have to prove yourself worthy to us, understand? God, maybe all the expectations were just too high. It helps enough just to be right here, okay? Highs and lows, we're going to be fine."

"Mom?" Bobby said softly, finally getting to his feet and moving to Katie's other side so she was trapped in a sandwich of their love and hope. Melissa glanced questioningly at her son, clasping his trembling fingers around the back of Katie's seat. "I really missed those optimistic speeches. I'm glad you're back, even if Aunt Katie is checking out on us. I love you."

"She's not checking out," said Melissa defensively, ignoring the physical ache in her heart when Bobby looked cynically at his aunt. Letting go of Katie, she moved back to her son's side. "I'm sorry I ever forgot about everything your father did to us. It hurts that you've had to see so much darkness, but I'm so proud of you. It's probably been a while since I got to tell you that."

"It was last year if you get technical, but that was only, like, a week ago." That was the extent of humor Bobby could muster under the circumstances. He pressed his face into Melissa's front as if her embrace could block out all the bad things in his world. "What will we do if Aunt Katie doesn't get it together?"

"I don't know," his mother whispered, unable to lie to him anymore. Even her store of optimism was drying up in the face of her sister's lethargic stare. These phases always passed, but this time, it might be too late by the time their headstrong and protective Katie returned to them.

A/N: Really challenging myself to update regularly now the vibes are back, enjoy xx