B'Elanna entered her quarters and sighed. She looked around and saw that she had a message. She pressed the button on her computer and the message came up.
"Hey, B'Elanna, this is Chakotay, the Captain and I were wondering if you would like dinner with us and the others," B'Elanna knew the others meant the Doctor, Harry, Seven of Nine, and Neelix. There would be one person missing and that would be Tom.
B'Elanna closed her eyes as she thought about him. She took a breath and sent her replay before deleting it. The next message that came on was a something she had saved from before.
"B'Elanna," Tom's voice came on. "I was thinking we could stay in tonight and watch a movie on my TV. I love you and can't wait to see you." That was end of the message. Tears fell down her face as she saves the message.
The message was right before his mission, the mission that he didn't come back from. Harry had come back from the mission badly hurt, but Tom didn't make it. From what Harry said Tom put himself in harm way to save the others. The others being him and two ensigns. Harry tried to put up a fight, but Tom wasn't having it. He pushed Harry and the other out of the way as shot came. They were allowed to bring his body back. Harry didn't want to tell B'Elanna that her husband was dead because B'Elanna was pregnant with their child. They held the services for him the next day.
B'Elanna sighed. She should go and pick up her daughter from the babysitter, but the babysitter would ask how she's doing. She didn't want to hear it. B'Elanna took a breath as she went to changed out of her uniform and went to pick up her daughter.
Neelix handed Miral to B'Elanna. B'Elanna smiled down at her seven-month-old daughter. She was never going to know her father. "I hear that you won't be joining us for dinner," Neelix said.
"No, Miral and I are going to have a quiet evening," B'Elanna gave that excuse and left Neelix. Neelix gave her a look. They were all worried about B'Elanna.
B'Elanna feed Miral before putting her down to sleep. As she put Miral down, she caught a corner of the leather jacket that Tom wore when he would do Captain Proton. She glanced at her sleeping daughter before taking the jacket out of the closet. She pressed it close and could still smell Tom on it even those it has been a year since he had worn it. She took a jacket and wrapped it around her as she took a seat on the couch. She turned on the TV but kept it at low volume, so she didn't wake Miral.
The jacket and the TV made her close to Tom. It has been a year since he left them, and she should get rid of the jacket and TV. She couldn't do it she reasoned that she would give it to Miral when she was older, so she could have something of her father. B'Elanna knew the real reason that she kept it because she wasn't ready to let him go. He was the love of her life. They have been through so much together and he is gone. Tom never got to meet his daughter when even he was happiest about their daughter.
B'Elanna remembered him talking to Miral through her round belly just to feel her kick. Tom's eyes would brighten and give her a smile as he felt their daughter move. He had built her crib himself. He didn't like any of the cribs that they could replicate. He spent hours doing it, but they both liked the result. Now Miral sleeps in it.
B'Elanna turned off the TV and put the jacket away before getting ready for bed. She climbed in bed and took a sigh. She reached over and felt the cold side of the bed. She still couldn't sleep on his side of the bed. She took a sigh, tried to hold the tears back. She couldn't cry herself to sleep again. She closed her eyes tight as one tear slipped out and ran down her cheek. She took a deep breath before letting the tears fall down her face. She cried herself to sleep again.
B'Elanna woke with a start. She glanced around her room. The room was dark, she reached for Tom, and felt that he wasn't there. She glanced over the bed to see there was no crib there. Where was her baby, one of the only things she had left of Tom? B'Elanna threw off the blanket and jumped out of bed, ready to find her daughter.
The door opened to her room and Tom stepped in. "B'Elanna," He said in a quiet voice.
B'Elanna looked up at him. "Where is my daughter?"
Tom raised an eyebrow. "Our daughter is in her room," Tom made his way to the bed and sat on the bed. He reached for B'Elanna and pulled her on his lap. "B'Elanna, what is going on?"
B'Elanna felt safe in his arms. "I must have had a dream," She told him about the dream. As she told him about the dream. Tom wrapped his arms around her tightly. He kissed the side of her head.
"I love you," Tom whispered in her ear as he held on to her. "I'm sorry that I couldn't be here."
B'Elanna sighed. "It's not your fault. We are working opposite shifts," Tom nodded.
"I feel that I'm missing out on things with you and Miral. It is hard when we want to start trying for another baby."
"I know," B'Elanna glanced at the clock to see that she had to be in engineering in an hour. She had to get Miral up and to day care before she could get there. She would love to spend the day in Tom's arms. She couldn't remember that last time that they had time to themselves since they came on the ship.
B'Elanna pulled herself off Tom's lap. She leaned down and kissed him before heading to the bathroom to shower. "Can you wake Miral?" She asked.
Tom nodded. B'Elanna saw him get up and head out of their room. B'Elanna showered and dressed before leaving her room. She saw Miral at the table with Tom, eating breakfast. Tom had Miral laughing about something. Miral looked up and saw B'Elanna standing there.
"Mommy," She held out her arms for B'Elanna.
B'Elanna kissed her on the top of her head before going to the replicator and getting a coffee. She took a drink of her coffee as she watched Tom clean Miral. B'Elanna finished her coffee. "Give Daddy a kiss before we go." Miral reached over and gave Tom a kiss. B'Elanna placed her cup down and picked up her daughter. She leaned down and kissed Tom before heading for the door. She stopped at the door. "When is your next day off?" She asked Tom.
"Thursday," Tom was up getting and picking up the breakfast dishes. She nodded before leaving. B'Elanna knew that she and Tom needed a day together as a family and couple.
Tom watched his family leave before turning off the lights and heading for bed. He glanced at the bed as he entered and saw it as a mess. He sighed as he got out of his uniform and crawled in bed. He glanced at the other side of the bed and reached for B'Elanna pillow. He pulled it close and could smell her on it. He missed sleeping next to his wife. He wanted to hold her in his arms and show her how much he loved her. He sighed and closed his eyes because he wanted to get some sleep so he could spend dinner with his wife and daughter before he was needed on the helm.
"Miral, I need you to go to sleep," Tom paced the floor of his quarters. He glanced down at his daughter, who wasn't going to sleep. He knew that she would only go to sleep for B'Elanna but B'Elanna was on a mission, and he must take care of their daughter. "Mommy will be back later," Tom whispered to his daughter.
Miral looked up at him with her brown eyes the same brown eyes as her mother. Tom sighed as he saw her bottom lip started to quaver. "No, please don't cry," Tom tried to reason with her. Tom glanced around and thought that B'Elanna should be back soon, and he could hand their daughter to her.
He heard the doors to his quarters open, smiled, and turned around hoping to see his wife, but it wasn't his wife. It was Chakotay and there was a frown in his eyes. Tom was trying to figure out what was going in. Chakotay looked down at Miral before looking back at Tom.
"Tom," Chakotay started. "B'Elanna didn't…"
"No," Tom shouted, and Miral started to cry harder. Tom knew what Chakotay was about to say. B'Elanna didn't make it on the mission. All Chakotay did was nod.
Tom fell back on the couch and held his crying daughter close. He was going to have raise his daughter by himself. How was he going to tell his daughter about her mother and what amazing woman was?
"I'm sorry, Tom," Chakotay said he before left Tom alone.
"Tom, wake up," B'Elanna shook her husband.
Tom woke to seeing his wife standing over him. He wrapped his arms around her waist. "You are here," Tom placed his head on her stomach.
B'Elanna ran a hand through his hair. "Yes, is everything okay?"
"Yes, I had a dream about you being gone," Tom pulled away from her.
B'Elanna sighed and took a seat next to him on the bed. "We need a day to reconnect," She took his hands in hers.
Tom nodded. "I feel that we are just going around in a circle where I don't get to see you or Miral. I know we took this assignment so we could be together, but I feel that we are farther apart than before."
"I know," B'Elanna kissed on the side of his head. "We'll think of something," She stood and grabbed the PADD that she was looking for. "Get some sleep," B'Elanna headed for the door of their room. Tom watched until she was gone before falling back on the bed.
Tom smiled as he got off early. He made his way to his quarters and walked into the dark room. He looked in on his daughter to see that she was sleeping like a rock. He smiled as he went to room and saw his wife sleeping in the middle of the bed. Tom took off his uniform and climbed in bed with her. She knew right away that it was him as she curled into him.
"Did you get off early?" B'Elanna asked.
"Yes," Tom kissed the side of her neck. He ran a hand along her side. He couldn't remember the last time he got to make love to his wife. It was mostly them having a quicky before their daughter woke.
He was reaching the edge of her pajama bottoms when B'Elanna pushed his hand away. "Not now."
Tom leaned over and looked at her. "Why?"
"I have something planned for tonight and you are going to need your sleep," B'Elanna threw off her blanket and sat up on bed. Tom leaned back on the bed. B'Elanna laughed at him, leaned over, and kissed him.
Tom moaned as he watched B'Elanna get out of bed and make her way to the bathroom. He heard the shower going and had to close his eyes as he thought about his wife. He was just getting an image when he heard his daughter.
"Mommy," Tom sighed and got out of bed. He turned to the bathroom to tell his wife that he has their daughter when he heard that she didn't even make a move. Tom shook his head and left his room.
Tom went in his daughter's room to see that she is sitting up with tears running down her face. Once she saw him, she held out her arms for him. Tom picked her up and wiped away the tears from her face. Miral threw her arms around him.
"Did you have a bad dream?" Tom ran a hand over his daughter. He felt Miral nod her head in his neck.
"Daddy has you," Tom hated that his daughter had those dreams, and he couldn't protect her.
He took her out of her room and saw B'Elanna standing in the living room in her uniform. She looked at them. "I can take her to day care if you want," Tom shook his head. He wanted to be close to his daughter right now. "Okay," B'Elanna kissed both of them and left the room.
Tom held on to his daughter and settled on the couch with her. He put something on the TV for them. Miral loved the cartoon that was playing. Tom spent the day with his daughter and knew that it was something that he needed. They took a nap together on the couch and ate snacks while watching some movie.
B'Elanna came into Miral sleeping on her dad's shoulder, while Tom had his eyes closed. B'Elanna leaned against the door frame and watched them for a minute. Tom opened one eye and saw that his wife was right there. Tom smiled at her. "How was your day?" He asked.
B'Elanna shrugged her shoulders and stepped into the room. She took a seat next to him and placed a hand on Miral's back. "Since you spent the day with our daughter, why don't you take her to Ensign Montgomery and you can spend the night with your wife," B'Elanna leaned over and kissed him on the lips.
Tom moaned and got up. He carried his daughter to her room to grab a bag for her to spend the night at Ensign Montgomery's quarters. B'Elanna waved them away as they left the quarters.
Tom almost ran back to his quarters after he dropped off his daughter. Tom stopped five feet before his quarters. Tom heard laughter as he stopped at the door. He gave them a look because they were young and didn't know of a woman's love. Tom took a breath as he entered his quarters. The lights were dim and there were candles lite on their small table. Tom looked around for his wife to see that she wasn't around.
"B'Elanna," Tom called out.
B'Elanna stepped out of their bedroom. Tom saw that she was in dress that hugged her curves with a pair of boots that went up to her knees. Tom let out a moaned as he saw his wife. He somehow found the movement and made his way over to his wife. He wanted to drop to his knee and beg. Tom leaned down and kissed her. "You look beautiful."
B'Elanna broke out of his arms. "Food first," She took his hand and led him to the table. She made him sit and went to the replicator. She took the food that brought it to the table. As she set the food, Tom decided to run a hand over her butt. B'Elanna gave him a look before taking a seat.
They got to have a real conversation and not something in passing. They talked about how B'Elanna was doing in school and what she had planned for it. They talked like adults in a relationship and seeing where it was going. When Tom had enough, he pushed his plate away and stood. He reached for B'Elanna's hand and help her stand. He led her to the bedroom and found out how to reconnect without words.
Tom held B'Elanna after they made love for a second time. Tom thought that something was going to have to change because he didn't know if he could live like this anymore. Barely seeing his wife and daughter, the two most important people in his life. They wanted to grow their family and being on a ship might not be a good idea for that. Tom felt B'Elanna move into him, Tom decided that it was time to close his eyes and get some sleep.