Selena woke to her alarm going off. She had to wondered why her alarm was going off. Last time she checked she didn't have school or anywhere to be that day. If she wasn't up by a certain time her parents would get her up. She glanced at the clock to see that it was six-thirty. She didn't hear anyone else in the house. First, she told the alarm to shut up and then got out of bed. If she was going to be up this early, she needed food.
She made her way downstairs to the kitchen to find her dad and brother already up and dress. It was strange to see Xavier dressed already, he was usually in pajamas most of the day. It was mom, who was telling him to get clothes on. Her dad was wearing Starfleet command uniform. There were four pins on his uniform. Selena had to think, but her father wasn't in Starfleet. She looked around the house to see where her mom was. She didn't see her anywhere. Selena didn't see her mom's office bag in front of the study.
She made her way to the kitchen with a questionably look. She stopped at the island. "Where is Mom?"
Selena watched Xavier and her dad trade a look, like she is doing it again. Tom sighed before looking at his youngest daughter. "Your mom passed away after giving birth to you," There was a sadness in his eyes. Selena knew that her dad missed her mom. Selena didn't know what to say. She didn't have to say anything when her dad spoke again. "Please be ready in an hour the transporter will be here than," Her dad picked up his coffee cup and walked out the backyard.
Xavier turned to his sister. "Why do you bring up Mom every few years? Can't you see that it hurts Dad when you bring her up."
"I'm sorry. Sometimes I have a feeling that she should be here," Selena didn't know what else to say.
"Well keep your opinion to yourself," Xavier hissed. "It is all your fault that she gone."
Tears came to Selena's eyes. She opened her mouth to say something when they heard their father's voice. "Stop it both of you," Both of them looked at Tom. "Selena, go and shower. Xavier, do you have everything ready," Selena nodded and headed for the stairs. Xavier shook his head and followed his sister upstairs.
Selena stopped at the top of the stairs. "Can I ask you something?" Xavier nodded when he reached the top of the stairs. "What is Miral doing at Starfleet?" Selena had a feeling that her older sister was Starfleet with their dad being Captain of a ship.
"She is studying engineering," Xavier said like Selena should know that.
"What are you thinking about doing when you go?" Selena asked her brother.
"I'm going the command route," Xavier said before heading to his room.
Selena went in the bathroom and jumped in the shower. The Miral she knew wanted to be a diplomat in Starfleet to work on Q'onoS. Selena knew that she wanted to close to D'stil Qok. She never wanted to do engineering like their mother. Selena wondered how she was doing in her classes. Something must have changed Xavier, he always wanted to design ships for Starfleet. He never wanted to become a captain. It was their mother who got him into art. Selena knew what a good artist her brother was. She felt that she wasn't close to any of family because of their mother's death. She finished showering and went to her room to dress.
The transporter showed up and Selena followed her brother and father on the transporter. She sat there by the window while her father sat with his pilot and asked about what was going on with the ship. Selena looked out the window to see her house getting smaller. She knew when they came in space. They went to the main space station. Selena wondered which one was her father's ship. She didn't want to ask because she felt that she know.
The transporter stopped at a ship. The doors opened and they were ushered onto the ship. Her father gave his bag to one of the crew members. "Take my children to my quarters," Tom said. The crew member nodded. Selena followed her brother, while she watched her father head in the opposite direction. Another member of the crew was already by his side.
Selena stepped into the captain's quarters. They were large. Selena watched as Xavier thanked the man. Xavier took their father's bag to a room on the far-left side. Selena went to the other two rooms to see which one was hers. She knew right away which room was hers. She stepped in the room. There were two beds. Selena had a feeling that she used to share the room with Miral while on the ship. She threw her bag on one of the beds.
She stepped out pf the room and looked around. The doors they entered opened to the living room. The dinning area was to the left. There was a desk in the upper left corner. There was a door that led to her father's room. Selena saw three big windows that looked out to space. There was a seating area under the windows. Selena saw that there were pictures on the wall next to her father's room. She made her way to the wall.
She saw pictures of her parents when they were dating. She knew most of them from seeing them at their home. She saw pictures of her mom with her sister and brother. Selena saw pictures of her mom pregnant with her. She saw how happy her family looked. Selena didn't see any pictures of her after she was born. It was like after her mother died her father stopped caring about them.
She felt someone behind and knew it was her brother. "Does Dad still care about us?" She asked.
"I think so," Xavier said. "It took him a long time to get over Mom's death, by that time we were living with Grandpa and Grandma Paris. When he did take us back, I felt that something was missing from him. He rejoined Starfleet and in space it feels like he is the same. We barely stay in San Francisco because there are too many memories."
"So now he is captain of his own ship," Selena said. Xavier nodded. "Why were we there this time?" Selena couldn't continue looking at the pictures.
"Miral had a break and Dad wanted to see her," Xavier said.
Selena nodded. "Do you think he would do the same with me?" She felt that he wouldn't do the same for her.
"I don't know," Xavier mumbled. Selena was hurt. She excused herself and went to her room.
Selena must have fallen asleep because she woke to someone knocking on her door. She got up and saw that her brother was there. "Dinner is ready," It was all he said.
She made her way to the living space. She saw her father sitting at the head of the table. There were two plates sitting on either side of him. She slowly made her way to one of the plates. Her father gave her a look before saying something to Xavier. "Are you ready for classes tomorrow?"
"Yes, I am taking all classes to get into the command program at Starfleet," Xavier said.
Tom turned to Selena. "What are you planning on taking this year?"
Selena didn't know what to say. She was just starting high school this. "I guess the basics."
"What do you want to do with your life?" Tom asked. Selena could see how he gripped his fork. He wasn't happy about her answer. It felt like he wanted her out of his life.
"I would like to be a doctor," Selena said.
Tom gave a small smile. "That is a good career. Starfleet would be glad to have you as a doctor."
"What if I don't get into Starfleet medical program?" Selena asked.
Tom threw her a look like you should know the answer to that question. "You are a Paris. You will get in."
"What if I get into Harvard or Oxford?" They were two very good schools. The father she knew didn't care what school she got into just if she was happy.
"It doesn't matter if you get in or not. You are going Starfleet," Tom hissed.
"Mom wouldn't care where I got into," Selena hissed back at her father.
"Selena," Xavier gave her a look.
"How do you know what your mother would want?" Tom slammed his fist on the table. "You are the reason that she is not here."
Tears came to Selena's eyes. She stood up and pushed away from table. "I'm sorry that I was ever born. Maybe your life would be better if I wasn't here." Selena made it to the door.
"Selena Judith Paris," Tom yelled after his daughter.
Selena ignored her father and just kept walking away. She made way around the ship until she found the biology lab. She went in to see what they were doing. She was glad that no one was in here. She walked around for a second before finding a corner, fell into and started to cry because that wasn't the father she knew. She missed that father, the one who hugged her and kissed her cuts and bruises. The father, who let her have her own dreams. She wanted that father back.
Selena wiped her eyes, decided it was time to get up, and go back to the captain quarters. She opened the door thinking that her dad and brother would be asleep, and she could make her way to her room alone. It wasn't possible when she saw her father sitting on the couch. He put the PADD he was holding down.
"Where have you been?" Tom asked.
"Why do you care?" Selena tried to make her to her room. "I'm the reason Mom is gone."
Tom sighed. "I'm sorry for saying that. I do care about you. Its hard looking at you and not seeing your mom."
"But Miral looks more like mom than I do," Selena said in a soft voice.
"You are more like your mom than she is," Tom looked away from Selena.
Selena didn't know what to say because her father had told her the same thing. "Dad, can I ask something?" Tom nodded. "Why did you stop writing and become a captain?"
Tom gave a small smile. "I always felt closer to your mom in space. I guess it was because I met her in space and spent seven years with her. I fell in love with her out there. She is the woman of my heart."
"Dad, I can see that you miss mom, but you two also created three new lives," Selena said. "You have to be here for us," Selena left her father with the thought and went to bed.
Selena woke to find herself in her bed on Earth. She sat up and looked around her room. The sun was coming in her window. She didn't know if that was dream or not. She knew there was only one way to find out. She got out of bed and made her way downstairs.
She stopped at the end of the stairs to hear her parents laughing. She made her way to the kitchen to see her parents drinking coffee. Both looked happy. Selena ran to the kitchen and hugged her mom.
B'Elanna ran a hand over Selena's hair. "What is going on, Selena? I do love getting hugs from you."
"I had the dream again where you are gone." Selena looked up at her
"What happened this time?" B'Elanna asked. Selena has had these dream before. They had started when she was three and every few years they would come. They had taken her to someone after few more times. The therapist told them that they were going to have to talk about it.
Selena told them what had happen. "There was something different something this time. I got to tell him that we needed him too. I don't think that I'm going to have this dream again."
Selena was ready to go when her father's words stopped her. "Selena, if anything ever happened to us. We could never forget the three of you. We love you."
Selena smiled. "I know."