2. GREED

February 1995

Pansy kept looking over at Draco, Crabbe and Goyle who were at the back of the History of Magic classroom, trying to hide their laughter from Professor Binns, whilst animatedly covering their mouths, pointing towards Eloise Midgen and writing something on their desks.

Pansy narrowed her eyes. What were they up to?

"I know, they're so distracting, aren't they?" said Daphne, and motioned her head towards the Slytherin boys. "I can't focus either. Don't see why Binns doesn't tell them to shut their mouths."

"I doubt Binns even notices. He's dead after all. What do you think they're doing?"

"Scheming, probably."

"Why do they keep looking at Midgen?" asked Pansy sceptically, throwing a dark glare at the round girl.

"Are they?" said Daphne, looking up.

"Yes," said Pansy pointedly. "They keep pointing at her too."

Daphne narrowed her eyes. "That's odd. But don't even start—" she added, sending a strict look to Pansy, "He's not interested in her."

"I didn't say that!" snapped Pansy. Daphne smiled. "I'm just curious," she added.

"Nosy and jealous more like it," quipped Daphne.

"Of that? As if," Pansy snorted, and reluctantly went back to her boring work.

"All right Pans?" Draco teasingly bumped into her in the corridor as they all streamed out of the classroom half an hour later. "Let me get those."

He grabbed her books out of her hands and shoved them at Crabbe's chest who fumbled to grab them (he didn't look very happy, as usual). She was used to Draco doing this so she didn't even flinch, but she sent him a look.

"What were you laughing about so much in History?"

Draco smirked and shrugged. "We sent Eloise Midgen a Valentine's card."

Pansy frowned at him, so he clarified, "And signed it from Theodore."

"No!" Pansy broke into a fit of laughter, and so did Draco. Now she understood why they'd been laughing so much.

"Imagine the look on Nott's face when Midgen approaches him thinking he wants to date her."

"He might be grateful," laughed Pansy, "It'll be the first bit of female attention he's ever received."

Draco leaned in closer and whispered into her ear, "We sent one to Bulstrode too," making Pansy laugh again. "Don't tell her!"

"From who?"

"Not going to tell you, I'm sure you'll find out," he said, winking at her. "See you later," and he walked ahead with his cronies. The girls followed.

"What was that about then?" asked Daphne as they descended the stairs leading towards the dungeons.

"They're pranking people sending Valentine's cards pretending to be from other people."

Daphne rolled her eyes. "Oh, so that's why Millicent got a card from fifth year stud 'Miles Bletchley'."

"Yes, it was most definitely from Draco and them."

"Did Draco send you a Valentine's card?"

"No," said Pansy dully. "Maybe he doesn't fancy me after all."

"I know, it's so weird isn't it," said Tracey, who had overheard them, throwing a glance ahead at Malfoy who was still laughing with Crabbe and Goyle as they entered the hole in the wall into the murky Slytherin common room.

"Don't be silly," said Daphne, "Why would he ask her to the Yule Ball if he didn't? And he just carried her books."

Pansy shifted uncomfortably, "Well, he got Crabbe to carry my books. He never actually does it himself. Maybe he just likes me as a friend," she said, instantly horrified by this thought. She'd assumed he fancied her since he asked her to the ball.

"No, he definitely fancies you!" said Daphne.

"Then why didn't he kiss me at the ball?"

The girls looked between themselves. "I don't know," said Daphne after a short pause, "Boys are weird."

"Maybe he's scared," shrugged Millicent.

"Oh, come on!" said Pansy, "It's Malfoy, not bloody Longbottom. He's not exactly shy."

"None of us got kissed at the ball, to be fair," said Queenie, "Only the Slytherin slag," she added and pointed to Daphne. The girls all laughed, but Daphne didn't look abashed at all, instead she smiled.

"Yeah, fair play to you Daph," said Pansy, "getting off with Montague was a good move. He's older and the Quidditch captain. It'll do good for your reputation."

"I guess," shrugged Daphne, "I'm not interested in him anymore though. You know he hasn't even spoken to me since the ball."

"At least you both got to go with someone you liked," said Tracey, "I got stuck with the weirdo Nott."

"You could've gone with Pucey," said Pansy accusingly as they crossed the common room without another glance at the boys, "He did ask you."

"I'd rather jump off the Astronomy Tower than spend time with that creep," said Tracey. "At least I spent it with Theo and Blaise who are my friends. I prefer that any day to one of the older boys just because they're 'cool'."

"Fair enough."

"So what did you and Draco do when you went outside at the ball then?" Queenie asked Pansy. "Can we figure out where it went wrong?"

"It didn't go wrong," Pansy snapped, as they descended the stairs and headed into their dormitory. She headed straight into the adjoining lavatory. "I already told you. We just sat outside and talked for a bit."

She looked at herself in the mirror and applied some fresh lipgloss, as Tracey washed her hands, and Daphne put her hair up in a ponytail, also studying herself in the mirror.

"Well, what did you talk about?" asked Queenie sceptically.

"I dunno, all kinds of things," said Pansy, shrugging. "The ball. The tournament. School."

"School?" said Daphne, raising an eyebrow. "Please, take that back."

"I don't know exactly what we talked about, it was over a month ago!"

"Main point is – he didn't try and kiss you," said Queenie.

"No," Pansy admitted. "We were sitting next to each other and he kind of put an arm around me and there was this moment where we both didn't say anything, and I sort of thought it would happen then, but I just waited and it didn't happen. And then he sort of cleared his throat and looked away, and then Snape was there…"

"Snape?"

"Yes Snape was walking around separating couples," said Pansy rolling her eyes. "So it was probably for the best that we weren't doing anything anyway. And then Draco just suggested we go back inside and I just agreed."

"He's scared," said Millicent briskly.

"Or he just doesn't fancy me," said Pansy, sighing, whilst looking at herself in the mirror. He had called her pretty once – well, not pretty exactly, but he'd said that she was better looking than the Gryffindor girls. And he always seemed touchy feely with her.

"Shut up!" cried Daphne and Queenie at the same time. "Stop being silly."

"Then why hasn't he done anything for me today?" snapped Pansy. "Hello, it's Valentine's Day! He spent the whole afternoon sending cards to other girls, albeit as someone else. Sorry Mills."

Millicent shrugged. The other girls looked at each other and cringed slightly. Daphne pursed her lips. "Because boys are just lazy and dumb."

Suddenly from behind the door they heard movements and voices in their dormitory. The girls frowned at each other. They could hear Crabbe give out a triumphant laugh. "We got in! Do you think they finger themselves in here?"

"Shut up Crabbe!" came Malfoy's disgusted voice.

"Eww, we can hear you!" shouted Daphne, whilst Tracey threw open the door so they were face to face with the boys. Draco, Crabbe and Goyle were stood there, grinning.

"How did you get into our dorm?" asked Queenie with one raised eyebrow.

"Snuck in," smirked Draco, "You just have to skip two steps on the stairs."

"Your books," Crabbe said and threw them down onto Pansy's bed.

"Thanks, I guess," Pansy said condescendingly.

"We thought of a new cheer," said Draco, "Want to hear it?"

"Quidditch isn't even on this year!"

The boys ignored them and broke into song.

When Slytherin play, Hogwarts scream hey!

Bletchley scores, And then one more!

Pansy leads the song, Slytherin's team is so strong!

This year we will win, Potter will be put in a bin

We play so sick, The Seeker has a huge...

"Eww, that's enough Malfoy!" cried Tracey but everyone else was laughing loudly.

"What?" smirked Draco, and Pansy erupted into another fit of laughter.

When she thought back to that moment fondly, she realised Draco was always trying to impress her and she had had no idea at the time.

When Crabbe and Goyle had gone back up to the common room and the other girls had begun reading their textbooks on their beds, Draco stayed on Pansy's and lowered his voice so only she could hear.

"Also, I got you this," he muttered faux-casually, and pulled something out of his robes pocket.

Pansy's heart started beating faster as she looked at what he held out to her – it was a card with a pink heart on the front that was pulsating, albeit slightly crinkled from being inside his robes presumably all day. She blinked at it.

"What is that?" she said slowly. He shrugged casually, and there was a hint of a smirk on his face.

"A Valentine's card, Pans, keep up."

"Is this actually from you then, not from Crabbe or something?"

Draco sniggered. "No, this one is definitely from me."

"Thanks," she said and couldn't help the smile that crept onto her face. So, he had thought about her today after all. The bloody butterflies were back in her stomach.

"See you later, Pans." And with that he'd gotten up and swaggered out of the room. She looked after him, at a loss for words. Then she looked down into her lap and opened the card. There was only a mere sentence on the card. But it was enough.

'My Valentine. – DM'

It wasn't a declaration of love, of anything really, but she could feel a silly, huge smile appear on her face and her cheeks flushed warm. For a moment it felt like her dreams were coming true.

March 1995

"Oh hello!" Pansy exclaimed loudly as she entered the common room with her flock of girlfriends. They had been giggling all day about what had happened to Draco. Pansy and Daphne came to join the boys by the fireplace while the other girls sauntered off to another corner of the common room. "If it isn't Mr Ferret!"

"Fuck off," Draco muttered, sending her an icy glare.

"What's up your backside?" taunted Pansy, "Or rather – is it you, up Crabbe's?"

Crabbe threw a cushion towards Pansy. Theodore and Blaise who were playing Wizard's chess both sneered, while Daphne screamed of laughter.

"Yeah, how did it feel to be inside Crabbe's trousers then?" Daphne got out between her laughs.

"Why, you jealous?" Draco retorted, without his usual amusement.

"Why so testy?" Pansy said, and her and Daphne laughed again. "I thought you looked cute as a ferret."

"Yeah, a lot better looking than you normally do," agreed Daphne. The boys all sniggered too.

Draco didn't do well with everyone making fun at his expense, so he threw out, "I'm a lot better looking than you, Greengrass, regardless of if I'm in human or ferret shape."

The girls only laughed harder at this.

"He admits he's a ferret," he heard Daphne get out through her laughter.

"Sod off, I've got things to do," Draco said, scribbling something in his Transfiguration textbook.

"Ooh, homework. He's nerdy as well as a ferret," jeered Pansy.

"No, Pans, but unlike you, I actually have some brains, and want to do well in life," he snapped. The two girls stopped laughing immediately, and their eyes narrowed.

"Excuse me?"

He straightened up. "Well," he said scornfully, "you've got brains, you're just adamant not to use them."

He immediately regretted it but he was so full of anger he couldn't stop himself. Daphne's, Crabbe's, Goyle's and even Theodore's mouths flew open as it fell silent. Pansy glared at him with a mixture of shock and fury on her face, and Blaise whistled to signify the awkwardness that had engulfed them all.

Draco tilted his head to the side, pleased that he'd hit her where it hurt after she'd done the same to him. "Oh no, did I make the little baby cry?"

"You're such a dick, Malfoy," said Daphne coldly.

"What, you can dish it out but you can't take it?"

"Shut up, Draco," Pansy said in a small voice and she suddenly got up and ran towards her dormitory. Daphne gave him a shove and a glare, before running after her.

He snorted, straightened his tie and turned to Blaise and Theodore demandingly. "Bit of an overreaction, surely."

"You've bollocked it up now, Malfoy," said Blaise, turning his eyes back to the game of chess.

"Sodding girls."

Blaise sniggered. Theodore moved one of his bishops and said, "Think you went too far there, mate."

"Yep," agreed Blaise. "Definitely hurt her feelings, you git."

"She started it!" Draco spluttered, but instantly an unfamiliar feeling hit him and his stomach felt heavy. Was this guilt? "She was the one who brought up the… Moody… thing." He deliberately didn't use the word ferret – he didn't want to further perpetuate that narrative.

"You better go apologise, Malfoy," said Theodore. Draco rolled his eyes, but got up reluctantly and went after her.

The scene that hit him in the girls' dormitory was surprising to say the least. Pansy's head was hidden in her hands, with Daphne stroking her back. Daphne scowled at him when he entered the dorm.

"You get out of here Malfoy!" Daphne snarled at him.

Pansy removed her hands and looked up. Instantly upon seeing him her tears were replaced by anger.

"What?" he emphasised, holding up his hands to indicate innocence. "I just came to check on you."

"We don't need you to check on her," said Daphne angrily, "You're the one who upset her in the first place."

Pansy hit Daphne on the arm. "Don't tell him that!"

"I think he knows," Daphne said pointedly.

Suddenly he whipped out a small paper bag from his robes pocket. "You can have this," he muttered.

Pansy narrowed her eyes. "What's that?"

"It's your favourite," he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"It better be galleons," she said, still glaring at him. He snorted.

"Three high quality Liquorice Wands," he said and pulled one out and handed it to her. She eyed him suspiciously, and Daphne rolled her eyes.

"You're going to have to do better than bribery, Malfoy."

"Fine. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it."

Daphne and Pansy both stared at him incredulously. He was sure they'd never heard Draco Malfoy apologise to anyone, ever. He intended to keep it that way going forwards.

"You don't think I have no brains?"

"No, I don't think that. But you're just proving my point that you are in fact a baby," he added.

This was a mistake, as both girls pounced him and started hitting him immediately.

"Oww!" he screamed, and shielded himself with his arms. The two Slytherin girls stopped, and looked at each other before bursting into laughter.

"Fine, I have taken my punishment like a man. Can we be done with this?"

"Like a man," Daphne snorted under her breath.

"More like a ferret," said Pansy, the glint in her eye back.

Draco pointed a strict finger in her face. "Don't you start that again, if you know what's good for you."

Daphne and Pansy both laughed. "Daphne, get lost," he added. Daphne rolled her eyes but got up.

"You're a gutless Slytherin, Malfoy," she said as she sauntered towards the exit.

"Rich coming from you," he retorted quickly, "You're the Slytherin slut."

Pansy hit his arm again. "What!" he said, "Everyone's saying it after the ball."

"You know they're only saying that because they're jealous," laughed Daphne and she blew them a kiss before exiting the room.

He turned back to look at Pansy, and she met his eyes. He cleared his throat. She raised her eyebrows.

"What?" he asked.

"You don't think I'm stupid then?"

"Of course I don't."

"You said it," she muttered.

"I was annoyed. You called me a ferret."

"You were a ferret, technically," she insisted. He sent her a look. She gave a small teasing smile.

"You know I think everyone else are idiots," he said. "Except you and me."

It made Pansy smirk.

"You know what would cheer you up?" he said.

"No, what's that?" she said, sceptically amused.

"If I take you on my broom."

She raised one eyebrow. "I think you're confusing me with yourself. You're the one who likes Quidditch. I hate flying."

"No, come on," he insisted, and grabbed her hand.

He led her down to the Quidditch pitch while talking animatedly about Potter's terrible performance at the last task just to change the subject, and got his broomstick out of the Slytherin changing room. He motioned for her to sit behind him and she rolled her eyes but obliged.

"Hold on tight," he said, and she had to hurry to wrap her arms around his abdomen because he kicked off and flew away at a high speed. She was clinging on for dear life and screaming wildly as he was doing loops in the air.

When he finally landed, she stumbled off the broom and instantly started hitting him again. "That was not funny!" she screamed. "You could've killed me! You're lucky I'm all right or I would be killing you right now!"

"How - would - you do - that - if you - were - dead?" Draco cried out while defending himself with his arms as she hit him repeatedly. But regardless, after that they were fine again.

July 1995

King's Cross station was busy, as always. Platform nine and three quarters was full of students and their parents as they reunited after the school year and prepared to go home. Thick steam surrounded them and owls were flying above their heads, but in the ruckus, Draco only had eyes for the girl in front of him.

"What a year," said Pansy, with a small smile at him.

They were stood close, knowing they were rushed to say goodbye to each other before going home for summer holidays. He felt this unspeakable urge to not part, and he imagined she felt the same because of the way she was looking at him.

"One of our best so far," said Draco, smirking slightly. "Although I missed Quidditch."

"The ball was a highlight. And the tournament in general."

"Who would've bet Potter would actually win, and get pretty boy Diggory killed in the process."

"Don't be crude!" she said and hit his arm. "It's terrible what happened to him."

"You only say that because you fancied him."

"No I didn't!" she protested, blushing slightly. "Although, he was very dishy."

He wiggled his eyebrows. She met his eyes again, for a second too long to be innocent.

"So what are you doing all summer?" he asked casually.

"Dunno, probably hang with the girls a lot," she said. "Might spend a few weeks in the Cornwall house. You?"

"Nice. I'll probably play Quidditch with the lads. My mother is insisting on going to France. Might visit my grandfather, he's got Dragon Pox."

"Oh no," said Pansy, but she didn't look particularly sad. She never did when she was talking to him.

"It's ok," said Draco, "He's really old."

"Well," she said quietly, but trailed off. They smirked at each other. He could feel his parents, and hers too, looking over at them impatiently, and he felt a certain pressure to say goodbye, although he wasn't particularly keen to do so. He wanted to prolong it.

"I really want to kiss you," he said.

Her eyes widened, she giggled and looked away. He had no idea what possessed him to say it. Maybe the "now or never" mentality, they were to be separated for weeks after all. His heart was beating quickly in his chest.

"But your parents are watching us. And mine," he added.

"Yeah, best not," she agreed but she sent him a teasing sort of look. He met her eyes for a moment, wanting to say more things, but stopping himself.

"Bye then Pansy," he said.

"Bye Draco," she smiled and she leaned in to embrace him hastily. He couldn't help but to breathe in the scent of her hair. When she pulled away, she mumbled, "I want to kiss you too by the way."

She sent him one last look before sauntering off to her waiting parents.

He failed to hide his grin as he swaggered over to his parents who were both studying him.

"Shall we go then?" he said and lead the way.

September 1998

Walking down the cobblestones of Diagon Alley, suddenly Pansy had this strange instinct to take off her engagement ring and put it in her pocket, but she pushed the intrusive thought away. Where had that come from? She quickly shook off the strange urge and decided firmly against it. She opened the door to the Leaky Cauldron and looked around the dark, grimy pub. She spotted Blaise by a small table in a corner and walked over. He got up.

"Hi Pans," said her former classmate as he leaned in to embrace her. She smiled at him. He was handsome as ever, just as goodlooking as he'd been at school, but even better now that he wasn't wearing Hogwarts robes. He was wearing a tailored set of robes, very elegant, and he smelled expensive.

"I'm glad to see you before I go away," he said as they sat down.

"Me too."

"I got you a drink."

Pansy looked down at the table. He'd gotten himself a black coffee, and her a hot chocolate with whipped cream. Her favourite. She smiled.

"Thanks."

"Haven't seen you since the battle. Must be four months."

"Why didn't you come to the graduation ball?" she asked. "We missed you."

He smiled at this and it made her smile too.

"My mother decided to get married for the seventh time. Couldn't miss such an important occasion." He rolled his eyes. She laughed.

"I don't think you should go to France," she said, and she wasn't sure what possessed her to say it. "I think you should stay."

He gave a small smile. "Why?"

She bit her lip. She knew she couldn't in any possible way give an innocent reply to that.

"All your friends are here," she finally said. "Me, and the girls, and Theodore, and Draco."

Blaise laughed. "I'll miss you and Theo. But with Draco…"

"What?"

He took a sip of his coffee and then said dryly, "It wasn't so much a friendship, as a strategic alliance. Until, of course, Draco fell out of status. No offence."

Pansy snorted. "You're a dick."

"He cares so much about what people think, it's insane to me."

Pansy frowned at this. "I never thought about it that way."

"Anyway, you and Theo will be busy with your own stuff."

"Well," she said as she sipped her chocolate. "I'm going to miss you anyway."

He reached out and brushed her mouth with his napkin. She looked up into his dark slanting eyes.

"Cream," he said.

She licked her lips and giggled. He smiled, and there was something unspoken in his expression.

Pansy couldn't help but to notice how Blaise walked as they left the pub and emerged on the cobbled street outside – he carried himself confidently, but it lacked the arrogance that Draco swaggered around with. No, she told herself, don't even think that. That's rude. Draco's done nothing wrong.

After her meeting with Blaise, she returned to Parkinson manor, ignored her parents and went straight to her bedroom. Tall ceilings and large windows made the room always cold. A dusty chandelier with live candles spread a warm flickering light around the dark wood panelled walls and ancient fabrics. Her four-poster bed stood in the centre of the room. She looked at herself in the mirror on the wall above the bed. She wasn't sure who the person in the mirror was.

Frustrated, she threw off her cloak and tossed it on the floor before laying down on top of the covers. Seeing Blaise had stirred up some strange feelings. She knew there were better looking blokes than Draco out there. Blaise was better looking for sure. And she could probably do better looks wise. It embarrassed her to think that way though. Draco was clever and authoritarian and awe-inspiring. Perfectly Pureblood. Funny, albeit a bit arrogant. Even if he'd lost a lot in the war. She loved him so much, she always had.

But was love enough? She didn't get butterflies in her stomach anymore. Was that normal?

But, an inner voice said, she got butterflies when she saw Blaise. She physically cringed. Where had those come from? They had never been there at school. Draco had been all she could think about. Now, she was thinking about how good Blaise looked in that fitted set of robes. This was highly immoral she knew. It wasn't allowed. Borderline sinful. Who had these thoughts about someone that wasn't their boyfriend? It wasn't right.

They never wrote about this in the romance novels she read, or in Witch Weekly. Did this mean she was a bad person? She knew she'd had some immoral thoughts – she knew which of her parents she preferred if she had to choose. She viewed some people as less worthy than her – like Mudbloods. She fantasised about having two boys fighting over her. She judged her friends for things they said. She judged herself too. It was thoughts she wished she never had. Thoughts she'd never admit to. Thoughts she knew were morally wrong and generally blasé to talk about. Did everyone have these thoughts? Or was she indeed a terrible person? She could never talk to her friends about her inner thoughts. They'd seemed shocked and worried when she'd tiptoed around the subject of doubt at Daphne's engagement party.

She was meant to be happy. But behind the polished exterior of hers and Draco's relationship she wondered what was even left.

When Draco asked her to be his girlfriend, it was a resounding yes, it was the easiest yes ever. Why didn't his marriage proposal feel the same? It should feel as passionate and obvious as saying yes to being his girlfriend – shouldn't it? Maybe even more?

Technically, he hadn't even asked her to be his girlfriend, he had just told her. The thought used to fill her with those electrifying butterflies. She'd felt like the luckiest girl in Hogwarts. She was his and he was hers. Only them. No rivalry. Nothing to ever come between them. They had ruled Slytherin.

Now they had no kingdom to speak of.

Draco was hungry for money, success, social status, and the perfect relationship.

It wasn't necessarily that he was self-indulgent, but he was ambitious and thirsty for life. He'd only just graduated from Hogwarts after all, so surely that was natural. He'd always been a high achiever at school – Prefect, Quidditch team, above average marks, large social life – yet, after the disaster with the Dark Lord, he had less power than ever. And even less influence over his romantic partner, for Pansy seemed less interested in him now than she had in school. He was greedy for more of her love. He wanted her to adore him like she had in Hogwarts. It fed his ego, made him feel like a man.

And wanting these things wasn't a bad thing anyway – what was bad about wanting wealth, power and success? Everyone on earth desired it, whether they admitted it or not.

The survival of the Malfoy family was vital after all, and his number one priority. After Lucius had been sent to prison, Draco knew it was all down to himself now.

"I want to do an interview," Draco said to Pansy the next time he saw her. They were on his bed at Malfoy manor, both reading on top of the covers. He lowered his newspaper and motioned to it. "With the Daily Prophet. Set the record straight. I'm still getting Howlers in the post. Even after Potter testified for my mother and I."

"Who cares?" said Pansy, flicking a page in that week's Witch Weekly.

"My reputation has gone to the dogs. How do you think it feels, having everyone look at you like you're some sort of… common goblin."

"There's no point crying over spilt potion," muttered Pansy. "Everyone knows that you were a Death Eater, you can't change that."

"So I should just be branded for life then? And not even attempt to rectify my situation?"

"You care so much about what people think."

He stared at her. There was something in her expression that seemed chilly. He wondered where these words had come from all of a sudden.

He collected himself and frowned derisively. "I do not!" he protested.

"You do, it's like… Everything you do is planned out for maximum gain."

"Pansy," he said, slightly disdainfully, "Life is a game. Society is a charade. We'll have no power or influence if they think we have no power or influence."

She sighed. "Why do you care so much about power and influence?"

He didn't, necessarily. He just wanted it all. Everything the world had to offer, because suddenly life had begun anew again after the Dark Lord had been vanquished, and life had never seemed so bright. As if he'd come out from under the Dark Lord's huge shadow that had darkened his life so much.

He wanted it all. And what a Slytherin wants, a Slytherin gets.

His jaw clenched. "Anyone in their right mind does."

He heard her scoff next to him. He picked up the issue of Daily Prophet in his hands with the intention of reading it again but he found his mind wandering.

Why was she acting like this? He couldn't help but to feel like she was slipping through his fingers. She'd always been all his. His own. She'd always admired him and been besotted with him since an early age. She was growing more distant and more cold by the day now. She didn't have that twinkle in her eye that she normally had when looking at him, nor that satisfied smile when he was giving her his full attention. She didn't giggle when he embraced her from behind, nor did she smile teasingly at him when she caught him looking at her.

He wondered when she had stopped looking at him with admiration and pride in her eyes. He tried to think back to pinpoint it but he couldn't. It must've been gradual, in the background of everything else that had occupied his mind. And it had now left him feeling like a little boy who pulled on a girl's pigtails for attention.

Was it when he'd taken his Dark Mark? He knew a part of him had died then – the youthful, careless, fun part of him. The part she'd fallen in love with. The part of him that had bullied first years and always come up with funny pranks on Potter. When he'd signed a contract with death without thinking to read the fine print. He'd put too much trust into his father showing him the way of glory, never mind how his father had ended up in prison because of it. He'd been infatuated with the idea of restoring his family's former grandeur. More so than infatuated with Pansy.

Or had it been when he failed to kill Dumbledore, thus losing yet another part of himself – the part of himself that had any motivation or ambition. After that it was purely about survival. When he started hating himself. When he lost all hope.

Or, indeed, when Potter finally fulfilled Draco's deepest inner wish by vanquishing the Dark Lord, thus leaving the Malfoys in ruin? Had Pansy stopped looking at him with that passion in her eyes then? When he'd lost everything? His fortune, his good looks due to stress, but most importantly his social standing?

Something in his gut was telling him that something was very off. Yet he tried to ignore it.

And he had more dignity than to tell her he felt like he was losing her. He wasn't a prick.

But maybe he was just making a mountain out of a Niffler mound. She had accepted his proposal after all.

He was a Malfoy, for fuck's sake. Malfoys always got what they wanted.