I'm so incredibly sorry!

So, in the time I've been gone I have moved out of my house and am settling into a new one, gone wedding dress shopping, been dragged all over creation setting up a wedding registry, dove in neck deep to wedding planning, I'm painting and remodeling a house, and am still trying to maintain my sanity!

I know I'm late, but please be kind as I have SO MUCH on my plate right now.

"Donatello!" Leo's voice was raw, shredded by strain, "Run!"

The scientist scrambled to his feet, but dared a brief glance over his shoulder when he heard the agonized grunt and crash of his oldest brother being slammed against the wall, a terrified whimper whispering up the tense throat. Leo was held captive by a monstrous figure made only of flickering shadows, its tentacle arms wrapping around their leader's windpipe, and judging by the looks of things, it was already putting pressure on its crushing grip. Leonardo's legs kicked from where he was held up in the air against the wall, frantically trying to dislodge the strange creature that was at once solid, but also somehow made up of dark mist. Already the blue ninja was convulsing, choked gasps echoing in the space. A shudder of horror shook the purple turtle, slinking up his spine and rocking his shoulders. Donnie balked, steps faltering as he began to turn around so to save his leader, but Leonardo shook his head fiercely at the genius, silently reminding Don that he had a job to do. He just needed to get to the control room to complete it.

The comforting bellow of their resident hothead soothed some of Don's frazzled nerves. Raphael was there, meaning Leo had the backup he so desperately needed, and Don could focus on the task at hand. The scientist turned back around, pelting out of the room, and into a long hallway lit by flickering overhead lights. Suddenly, Donatello gave a startled yelp as a line of bulbs overhead exploded, plunging the hall he was careening down into semidarkness, green hands shooting up to cover his head from the sparks. Several more pops of shattering glass crackling with electricity crashed overhead. Making the scientist grit his teeth as he waited until the explosions stopped, then clambering up he continued his trek down the hall. Leo had given him a mission. He needed to follow through, no matter what.

"Raph?!" Mona screamed, her shriek echoing amongst the cacophony of alarm beeps bellowing through the facility.

Donnie quickened his run into a headlong sprint, the terrified tone of voice used by their newest ally emphasizing the dire situation. If you had asked the scientist just a week ago if he expected to be in their current circumstances, Don would have given a vehement no. However, as everything in their life usually goes, naturally a fun filled trip went to shell. They really needed to break this streak of bad luck surrounding family vacations. Thinking back, Donatello pinpointed the day when everything took those first steps towards utter disaster, and the moments that led up to it.

Four Days Earlier

"Come on, I go swimming in the river all the time in New York!"

"And I'm still telling you no," Anthony chuckled.

"Aw, come on, please?"

The vet merely smirked, his gaze pinned on the winding swamp river ahead of them, both hands on the steering wheel as he deftly maneuvered them through the waters. Donnie grinned, finding Anthony's ability to tune out the youngest highly amusing. However, the genius couldn't find it within himself to complain. Believe it or not, Mikey's whining wasn't as irritating to Donatello as he'd normally expect, at least not when he was utterly relaxed and sitting in a boat in the middle of the Mississippi bayou, with the sun shining cheerfully on the waves.

They'd arrived in Mississippi a little over three days ago, and while they were definitely working on the house, Anthony was having a blast showing them around his home. The brothers were happily soaking it all in, marveling at the crawling vines that encapsulated entire trees, eating the southern cuisine with gusto, and excitedly asking questions about the human's childhood. During their work in the cabin, they'd found an extremely old classic video camera, and after some tinkering, the brothers were delighted to play the film that was safe in storage. They found a treasure trove of memories, from family picnics, childhood productions, and even a recording of a WWII fight club that took place in the bowels of the ship. Raphael got really pumped up at that one, and to be honest, they all did. Leo and the brawler screaming encouragement to, probably long dead, shadows flickering on a blurry screen.

Anthony watched the show, but Donnie noticed that the man garnered more joy from watching the reactions of his audience. Gleefully sharing his world with the enthusiasm of a man who'd endured loneliness for far too long, even giving family heirlooms to the teens as gifts, stating it be better they're given to someone who'd appreciate them rather than sold in a cold auction house. It was heartwarming, and more than that, the honor of being included in the human's life wasn't lost on the brothers. All four lapped up the affection, enjoying the feeling of having a doting grandparent.

Donatello gave a hum of contentment, stretching his arms high above his head until his shoulders gave a satisfying pop. Looking down to his right, the scientist smiled as he observed Leo stretched out on his stomach, hands folded under his cheek, deep in a blissful afternoon nap as his shell soaked up the hot southern sun. Soft snores drifted up from the eldest terrapin, accompanied by trilling chirrs on every exhale, serving as a testament to his deep sleep; the only movement being the gentle rise and fall of his shoulders as Leonardo took full advantage of the day by basking. Raphael was right next to their leader, his happy chirrs guttural and deep, as he too enjoyed the opportunity to bask. Anthony was beyond delighted to hear the turtle sounds, immediately going into a fascinating explanation of what he'd been taught in veterinary school of what they meant, followed promptly by an in-depth discussion with Donatello concerning their own more animalistic traits, and where they popped up in daily life.

The scientist enjoyed every minute of it, often positing different theories on how he and his brothers differed from their feral cousins. Their debate was so lengthy, it was probably the reason why Mikey was feeling so restless and began begging for a swim.

"Pretty please?" The youngest tried again, batting baby blue eyes.

Donatello leaned back in his seat, distractedly watching as an ocean breeze picked up the tails of Leo's mask and deposited them overboard to trail in the water. Anthony cackled at the baby's attempt, shaking his head in fond exasperation, "Michelangelo," the war veteran stated, voice firm but affectionate, "you go into that water, and we'll never see you again. I promised your father to keep you in one piece, and I'm gonna keep my promise."

"I'm a ninja, dude!" The orange warrior grinned, "There's nothing I can't handle!"

"I beg to differ," Anthony snickered, "New York doesn't have gators in their rivers."

"Well, not technically," Donnie supplied as he rejoined the conversation, sharing a smile and a wink with Mikey, "but they do have them in their sewers."

The veterinarian chuckled, nodding at what he thought was an inside joke among New Yorkers, but paused when he saw that neither Don nor Mike were joining in, "Wait," he stopped, giving the purple ninja a quizzical expression, "don't tell me you're serious?"

"His name is Leather Head, or LH for short," Michelangelo explained, "he was mutated the same way we were, and he's almost as smart as Donnie!"

Anthony's jaw slowly dropped, wonder warring with intense curiosity, along with a hefty amount of childish joy, sent the blue eyes sparkling. "Oh," he breathed, "and he's your friend?"

"A very close friend," Donatello nodded, pride shining in his chocolate gaze, "he's been there for us in a lot of tight spots."

"Not to mention, he's awesome!" Michelangelo burst.

"Is there…is there any chance to meet your friend?" Anthony asked hesitantly, obviously very much wanting to do so.

Donnie grimaced, giving an apologetic one armed shrug, "I wish we could, maybe someday," the genius sighed, "but Leather Head has a lot of distrust when it comes to humans. He still has a lot to work out, and it takes time to introduce him to new people."

The human's shoulders drooped with disappointment, but Anthony nodded in understanding, "I get that," he murmured, eyes dark with empathy, "so many of the animals I've worked with, rescued out of horrible conditions, were not trusting of humans either. It took time, and a boatload of patience, but there were quite a few that I was able to help. However, the ones that refused to open up, all I could do was treat their wounds and hope that someday they'd heal enough to find a forever home with a loving family."

The brothers exchanged a brief happy glance, relieved that their family doctor understood. "I'm sure he'd love to meet you though, when he's ready." Donnie said, softening his rejection with an affectionate smile.

"He can take all the time he needs," The vet replied with a respectful nod, "and I'll eagerly wait for the day he does feel ready."

It was during this heartfelt moment that Donatello noticed Leo twitch in his peripheral, something the eldest rarely did when enjoying a nice bask, making concern bloom in the genii's heart. Donnie turned his full attention on Leo, watching as the twitch happened again, stirring the ninja. Sapphire eyes slowly slit open, still dull with sleep, not fully conscious, only the sharp warrior instincts instilled in the leader from childhood were in full control. Donatello leaned forward, suddenly tensing as he felt a strange urgency infect the air. Leonardo had something of a sixth sense about danger, a gift that had saved his life multiple times over, most notably the time when he sensed the dagger of the ultimate ninja when thrown at the back of his head. So, put simply, when Leo's danger sense started tingling, everyone needed to take notice.

Michelangelo had also quieted, baby blue eyes intently watching the eldest, waiting for any order Leo might give, even in his half-awake state.

What happened next took place so quickly, neither Mikey nor Donatello had the time to react to it. A scaly head shot out of the water, its gaping maw both long and wide lined with razor sharp teeth. Like azure lightening, Leonardo rolled out of the way, his body careening across the short expanse of the boat, going up and over Raphael's shell, leaving the ninja perched on top of his younger sibling's carapace. Where Leonardo's head had once been was now an angry alligator, a warbling hiss emanating from deep in its throat. The creature was huge, its mouth easily capable of grabbing any of them and biting right through their shells. The sheer girth of the river monster made the boat list dangerously to the side, short legs scrabbling for purchase as it attempted to climb aboard. Startled out of sleep into an immediate fight or flight, Leo shocked both himself and his brothers when he opened his mouth into a severe snarl, gaping his jaw as a feral hiss of his own was aimed at the threat with gusto. The alligator reared back as if in surprise, turning its head so to pin the blue ninja with its slitted yellow gaze.

Raphael lifted his head, bleary gold eyes confusedly looking between the hissing brother currently sitting on the brawler's shell, and the equally agitated gator climbing aboard the boat. Opening his mouth, Raph pondered this for a moment, before giving a bemused shake of his head and grunting, "I feel like I missed somethin' important,"

Their human host reacted quickly, completely unbothered as he limped down the boat, one hand sweeping the baseball cap off the white haired head. Bending over, Anthony proceeded to slap the alligator's snout with his cap, the material hitting the reptile with loud smacks, "Go on, git!" The vet grumbled, voice calm, as if he experienced a gator attack every day, "I don't have a thing for you, this is my boat, not yours."

The hissing cut off, as the alligator seemed to gape up at the man in shock, its third eyelid blinking in confusion, before it seemingly shrugged and slid off the side of the boat to disappear within the murky waters. Donatello's shoulders sagged in relief, watching as the sudden danger left. Michelangelo was also more than a little relieved, his features pale after the close encounter with the large animal. Their human host gave a nod of satisfaction, hands on his hips, cap still in hand as he kept his eyes on the river ensuring the gator left, before turning to pin his gaze on Mikey.

"That, young man," Anthony stated, a firm finger pointing at the rippling water, "is why I don't want you to go swimming in this river. Understand?"

If Mikey nodded his head any harder, he'd scramble his brain, Donatello thought wryly. However, the genius allowed Anthony this valuable teaching moment. The human may be their friend, but for this trip, he was also their guardian. Michelangelo needed to respect that, and this brush with danger was the perfect visual aid to emphasize that Anthony knew what he was talking about. The man may not be ninja, but he was still tough and had a wealth of experience that they had no comprehension of. It was better to listen. On the other hand, Leo was still perched on Raph's shell, sapphire eyes wide, and brief tremors running across his shoulders, even as the threatening snarl continued to hiss between clenched teeth. While their leader had certainly been startled, the scientist couldn't help but chuckle at the protective crouch that Leo leaned over Raphael's considerable bulk. As if he expected the gator to come back and snatch their hotheaded brother away. The possibility wasn't altogether irrational, though, which was a good explanation for why Leonardo was still so on edge.

The brawler was also trying to hide an amused smirk, as Leo was the least likely of the four to cave to feral instincts. So, the sight was rare enough to warrant taking time to appreciate. "Leo, ya can get down now, I'm pretty sure it's gone."

Several seconds passed, then their leader blinked, his own third eyelid passing over the blue gaze then retreating to reveal much clearer eyes. It was as if a light switch had been turned on, and Leo was no longer driven by instinct, but was back to being the mutated turtle they knew and loved. The azure ninja looked around, as if seeing his surroundings for this first time, confusion etched into his brow, "What just happened?"

The younger brothers burst into cackles at the sheer befuddlement on Leo's features, Raphael among the loudest, "Honestly, I don't know bro, but I wish I did." The brawler turned to Mikey and Don, "Would'ja fill a turtle in?"

"Not a lot to tell," Donnie shrugged, "Leo was asleep, and then an alligator jumped out of the water aiming for his head!"

Sheer horror filled Leo's gaze as he scrambled down from Raph's shell, his jaw dropping slightly as his features paled to ghostly proportions, "What?"

Raphael didn't notice their leader's reaction, the brawler merely grinning, "Yeah, I get that part," he chuckled, "I'm guessing the stories we heard about the alligators down here haven't been exaggerated?"

"It was huge!" Mikey nodded, grimacing at the remembered experience, "It's a good thing Leo's got mad ninja skills, because I don't think we could have pulled off a rescue."

"He rolled right out of the way just in time," Donatello finished with a proud beam towards their leader, only to suddenly notice Leo's shaky reticence, "just one more example of how our training is invaluable."

"Or that Fearless here's got a freaky sixth sense," Raph grumbled, though with an affectionate gleam in his eye, the hothead also finally observing that Leo was more than a little shaken, "just gotta be a ninja no matter what, right bro?"

Leo slumped, "Not so fearless," he mumbled, sapphire eyes narrowing, "and a real ninja wouldn't have freaked out like I did."

Raphael quickly sat up at the melancholy tone, curling his legs into a cross cross, "Hey," the brawler's voice rumbled, stern and unyielding, "what have we said about talkin' bad about yerself?"

Leo didn't answer. The leader looked away as he sat down, going silent as he withered in self recrimination, long legs drawing up to the broad chest so Leo could rest his forehead on his knees. Donnie blinked, confusion coloring his gaze. Why was their brother reacting like this? Sure, he was startled by the gator attack, but anyone would be. It didn't make him any less of a leader or a ninja to have been scared. However, when Don looked closer, he noticed minute tremors still shaking the blue turtle's frame accompanying a deep seeded shame pulling at Leo's strong features, and suddenly the genius understood why.

Something they'd learned back in the caves, a problem their leader still struggled with, was the visceral need for control. In Leonardo's mind, his ability to control both himself and the situation at hand was the difference between victory and defeat. Or, more accurately, the difference between him being able to protect his family and agonizing failure. There was no middle ground. To Leo, even if it was instinct that saved him, the fact that he wasn't in his right mind and under the control of their animalistic tendencies, was a massive blow. One of the eldest's favorite sayings during training was that instinct can't always save you, the best way to protect yourself is by keeping a level head to outwit your enemy. Apparently, suddenly coming back to consciousness whilst perched on top of your sibling and hissing like a cat isn't considered a level head. Not only that, but in such a feral state, there is no way of knowing if he'd been able to properly protect Raph from the gator. Not that it mattered to them, but to Leo, it mattered deeply.

So, in summary, Leonardo was embarrassed of his caving to instinct and terrified that he could have failed to protect Raphael from the threat, which when combined was making his depression pop back up.

Silly turtle.

Donnie left his chair, scooting down so squish up against his disconsolate eldest brother, "Leo," the genius began softly, only to be ignored, "Leonardo, look at me."

One minute passed, then two, but Don didn't move, he kept his eyes laser focused on their leader. Finally, a sigh, and then Leonardo lifted his head to cast a guilt ridden gaze on their resident genius. Donatello gave an approving smile, gently patting Leo on the head as if he were the younger brother, "Thank you," the genius stated, scrubbing the bald head affectionately, "now, I know you don't like losing control, but you can't beat yourself up over something as small as this."

"It wasn't small, Donnie, we could have died," Leonardo protested, proving the genii's theory correct, "we were in life threatening danger, and I went out of my mind, incapable of actually protecting you. You can call that many things, but small isn't one of them!"

"Wait, what?!" Raphael stammered, shock knocking his golden gaze wide, "but, Leo, ya can't-!"

"You can't protect us from everything," Donnie cut the hothead off, waving away the angry pout of the red, while smirking at the obvious disagreement in blue, "look, I'm so grateful to have a big brother who loves us enough that you'd gladly take any harm if it means our safety, but things like this don't count!"

Leo opened his mouth to counter Donatello's logic but was silenced by the scientist's green fingers pinching his beak shut, "No, you listen to me aniki, and you listen well!" Don stated firmly, "The simple fact of the matter is this, you were attacked by a wild animal, your ninja training saved you from being decapitated by said animal, and due to being in a highly vulnerable state by basking your own animal instincts (which we don't talk about, but should) surfaced as you defended your territory and nest mates. It isn't shameful, it isn't bad, and it isn't something worth beating yourself up over.

"It was instinct, plain and simple," Donnie continued, pinching Leo's beak more firmly when the eldest made another attempt to argue, "and before you say we shouldn't rely on instincts to save us, and that a true ninja is capable of maintaining a level head when in the face of danger, need I remind you that we are not what is considered 'traditional ninja'? All ninja that came before us on this planet were human and didn't have to reconcile the animal and human behaviors that we have to navigate through every day. We have a whole passel of challenges that those ninja probably couldn't handle, even if they tried. So, with all that in mind, I think a little grace on your behalf is in order, don't you?"

Leonardo pouted at his younger sibling, clearing disagreeing, but also unable to refute such soundly stated logic. Donatello smirked at his oldest brother, knowing quite well that the best way to defeat his leader's depressive states was by appealing to his rationale. Granted, it didn't always work, and those occasions usually called for cuddle sessions on the couch, however, the genius was confident that he had intervened before Leo fell into a spiral. The two glared at each other for several seconds until the young leader heaved a resigned sigh, and then meekly nodded his head.

Donnie released Leo's face, giving a satisfied nod, "Very good,"

Outside of the dueling brothers, Michelangelo gave a silent sigh, briefly exchanging a look of relief with Raphael, before the youngest decided that now was the perfect time for changing the subject, "While this is all very touching," Mikey said with a theatrical whine, "can we go somewhere where I can walk around? Don't get me wrong, I love hanging out on a boat, but losing the ability to swim due to the threat of imminent death takes the fun down by at least sixty percent."

Anthony chuckled at the helm, quickly catching on to Mikey's scheme, "I think I got just the place!"

Revving the engine, the four brothers held on to the boat as their human friend directed them further down the river. Donnie stayed close to Leo, his intelligent gaze analyzing their leader, concern for Leonardo pricking his heart. The eldest seemed better though, their short talk having helped the blue clad turtle to move past what had happened. For that the scientist was able to close his eyes in relief.

It wasn't uncommon for the brothers to help Leo when he came up against something that threw him for a loop. In fact, when Donnie thought about it, even before the caves their oldest brother didn't take sudden changes or unexpected attacks on their family well. Often spiraling into despair. Yes, he would rally, and then come up with a plan that would save their shells, but Leo still had deep seeded insecurities that made him fear things he couldn't control. Thankfully, the caves made the younger brothers realize this; and armed with this information, they were able to help their leader walk through these episodes, ensuring that he didn't get lost in his own head. That alone had made both their team and home dynamic improve by leaps and bounds, as Leo was learning how to not bottle up his emotions and allow himself to be vulnerable to his family.

It wasn't easy, but they were steadily learning together how to be better siblings and support each other, so the results made the hard work worthwhile.

"This is your captain speaking," Anthony's warm southern accent broke through Donnie's reverie, bringing the turtle back to the present, "our vessel is approaching the docking station and will be ready to disembark in T-minus two minutes. I hope you enjoyed your luxury cruise on the USS Doll-face, and please come back to sail with us again."

Mikey was giggling at the announcement, the fact that the war veteran had named his boat Doll-face still amusing to the youngest. Donatello couldn't hold back his own laughter, remembering the pride on Anthony's face when he unveiled the boat, and stated he had christened it with the nickname he'd given his wife. While certainly a romantic gesture, the turtles were still very much teenage boys, and had snickered over the name the entire trip. Obviously without any malice though, as Anthony had responded to their giggles with a wink saying that they'd understand one day. The man then wiggled his bushy eyebrows at Leo, and gave a deep chuckle of his own, saying that Leo probably already did though, what with his girlfriend. This prompted another round of chuckles from the younger brothers at the eldest's expense.

The river water splashed and rippled as the boat came to a stop along the bank of a wide field, emerald green grass dotted with wildflowers dancing merrily in the afternoon sun. In the middle of the field stood a large stone structure, a statue of a man dressed in pre-civil war era military garb, and holding a long rifle armed with a bayonet. Donnie and his brothers looked all round, scanning the area for possible humans, but were happy to find they had the place to themselves. With their security assured, they rushed forward, jogging up to the gargantuan monument. Donatello knelt down for a better look at the plaque, his brown eyes narrowing as he interpreted the weather beaten words carved into the bronze metal.

"This statue commemorates the battle fought against the British tyrant's forces in the year of our Lord, 1812," the genius read aloud, "in the swamps and forests surrounding New Orleans. We honor the lives of those who shed their blood and made the ultimate sacrifice, so that we may have freedom for generations to come.

"Wow," Donatello breathed, his eyes traveling back up the structure to rest on the imposing man cast in stone, "we're standing on literal history! Imagine what we could find if we just looked around or had a metal detector! This is amazing!"

Leonardo chuckled at the childish wonder of their smartest brother, sharing in the scientist's awe, "Yeah, it's crazy to think that a pivotal battle took place on such a peaceful looking field."

"That means they did their jobs right," Anthony rasped, the ghosts of battles past darkening the normally bright blue eyes, "if you can go back to a battlefield, and the sun is shining, and you have the freedom to enjoy the day, without fear of being arrested or killed for your opinion or the words you speak, then the sacrifices they made were worth it. They did it right."

Mikey gave a thoughtful hum at the man's words, turning so to once again take in the scenery, "Would it be okay to have a picnic here?" The youngest asked, "Or would that be considered disrespectful?"

The human paused in thought, then shook his head, "I don't think that should be a problem," Anthony grinned, "why don't you help me unload the cooler? I'm almost positive I packed a nice, big blanket."

The orange ninja let out a boisterous cheer, running back to the boat as the veterinarian followed behind at a more sedate pace. Donatello turned his attention back to the memorial, reading the inscription more carefully before noticing another inscription at the bottom. The lettering was worn, and difficult to read, however, Donnie was able to make out a few words.

'For Valiance Above and Beyond the Call of Duty, We Honor these Brave Few,'

Donnie noticed three names carved beneath, accompanied by incredibly old photographs set within the stone.

First a young man by the name of Patrick Stewart, his photograph under the glass yellowed with age, but still displaying a fair haired man with a mischievous eyes belying the serious expression. Then, another man, older and more dignified. Dark hair and dark eyes, though his name was almost illegible, the only thing able to be read is the last name Thompson. However, Donatello felt his heart freeze in his chest when he noticed the last picture. The black hair and cobalt gaze, set in a dispassionate face that was icy even in sepia. However, what was most terrifying, was that Donatello recognized this face. A lump of horror growing in his throat, Don leaned forward as he sought out the name on the plaque, only to reel back in shock.

The name made the scientist feel a chill wrap its cold grip around his heart, because there above that oh so familiar face, was the name John Bishop.

"Holy….shell…."

Thank you for your patience with me, and I hope I made up for my absence with a halfway decent chapter!

Please review!