Ugh... So I start work again tomorrow but I'm only going to be doing 2-3 days a week to relieve other managers since I'm such a high risk (and are directly responsible for someone who is also high risk) for coronavirus infection. That 3:00 AM alarm though... yikes that'll be rough after waking up at like 8 the last few weeks XD.

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PLEASE READ: One of my really good friends on here has been feeling kind of down so maybe ya'll would be kind enough to leave her some encouraging words. Her name on FF and A03 is Mekabella21 and she has some bomb stories for MHA as well as other fandoms! We, fanfiction lovers, have to stick together and lift each other up; I'm counting on you!

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Shatter Me

Chapter 4

I felt really strange when I was smoking the cigarettes Shoto gave me and then everything went dark for a while, but when I woke up, I saw him cut—I can't even think about it; it's too awful. Master was just lying there… and there was so much blood. I won't ever be able to get that image out of my head! Words can't even describe what I'm feeling right now… He was my friend… he didn't make me play games… Shoto was supposed to be different!

Somewhere in the back of my mind, a voice whispers that he is different though… that he isn't like my Master or the other men that have come to see me. He's gentle, considerate. I've never been around someone who treats me like he does.

I feel the headset get pulled away from my ears and tense but find that once I look into his eyes again, I'm not as afraid as I was earlier—not as afraid as I probably should be. Seeing Master was a shock, but Shoto promised that he wouldn't make me suffer like that and I want to believe him. Just once, I want someone to mean what they say.

"I'm going to take your pain away now, Izuku. It will only hurt for a few minutes and then it will be over, okay?"

His voice is just as calm as it always is and I do my best to focus on the sound, letting him lift and carry me as I look around to see what he's going to do. My heart does pound a little harder when he puts me on the table my Master was dismembered on and straps my feet in, but one look at that ever-expressionless face and I have the strangest feeling that I'm safe.

"Izuku…" he starts when he notices me staring again, his voice hesitant as uncertainty fills his beautifully mismatched eyes for the very first time. "Is there anything else you want before we begin?"

Well, that wasn't what I was expecting him to say when he called my name. There is one thing I want though… as silly as it is. I bite my lip as I mull over asking for it; it would probably be smarter if I chose something else, especially since he could say no but—

"Izuku, tell me what it is you want and it's yours…" he calls, and I clack my teeth shut. Of course, I was stupidly muttering out what I was thinking again. I have to take several breaths before I work up my nerves, but since I'm about to die, it's now or never.

"W-would you…" I start nervously, swallowing mid-sentence as I look away. "K-kiss me?"

I desperately want to explain my reasoning, but nothing else can get past the lump that forms in my throat when I see utter shock run rampant on his exclusively blank face. Master and his friends would kiss me, but it would bruise my lips and taste bad… If I could have one thing, it would be to be kissed like the people in the movies Tomura rents for me sometimes. I want to feel special like that, just once… and since now is my last chance, I hope Shoto can give me that.

My face heats up more than it ever has before and I think my brain short circuits when he awkwardly nods. All I can do is close my eyes when he starts leaning over me, shuddering when his breath ghosts over my lips.

He stops just shy of actually touching me and pauses there for a moment. My heart flutters with anticipation and I close the small distance myself, my head tilting up just enough to brush our lips together.

A tremor runs through my spine when I feel his lightly calloused fingers trailing up my jaw to my hair, his palm cupping my cheek as he puts more pressure into the action and slowly moves his lips against mine. This… this is what I dreamed about when I saw those characters together—it makes my toes curl and goosebumps rush across my skin… I swear electricity just sparked through my veins.

There's a breathless smile on my lips when he pulls away and I bring my bound hands up to touch the still tingling area. I'm not sure why he agreed to do it, but I'm so happy that he did… I almost feel like I can go in peace now. I open my eyes slowly, finding Shoto watching me intently.

We both stay soundless for what seems like forever, but eventually, I break the silence; I never was very good at being quiet. "Y-you promise it won't h-hurt for long?" I question, searching his face for truth. If he tells me it won't, I will believe him; somehow, I know Shoto wouldn't lie to me.

He doesn't respond for some time though. His eyebrows are twitching almost, like he wants to frown but can't completely do it and there's something else in his usually deadpan expression that I don't recognize.

"I promise, Izuku." he finally answers, swallowing almost nervously.

His fingers slide down to my throat next, thumb rubbing my windpipe before he wraps them around my neck in a tight grip. A ripple of fear rushes down my spine and I reach up to hold onto his bicep, keeping my eyes locked with his since the look in them always makes me feel safe.

My air is slowly cut off by his hand and I can feel my face starting to burn more with each passing second. It isn't long before I can't get a single breath in or out and my feet begin jerking against the restraints as my body fights for survival. Black spots start dotting my vision while I convulse, tears pouring from my bloodshot eyes once more.

Shoto leans down and rubs his nose in my hair; I can hear him 'shhh-ing' me, murmuring for me to relax and just let go… telling me that it's almost over. My crooked fingers fall from his arm as I force my eyes to focus just one more time before my mind becomes too fuzzy and I do my best to do as he's asked, hoping that in my last moments I'm being a good pet for him.

Shoto lifts his head when I relax and our gaze overlaps for a split second. I can see that 'something' that had been lurking in his expression earlier explode, but everything is getting dark and I can't hold on long enough to see what it means… but that's okay… I'm fine with this ending.

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I groan with discomfort; my head is absolutely pounding. It feels like when Master won't let me have my medicine and I get all shaky and sick. His dismembered body flashes through my mind, however, and I yelp slightly as I rocket up. My head spins from the action, but it seems to be made worse as I'm pulled by nothing in particular one way, rolling until I smack up against something hard.

I blearily look around to figure out where I am, but almost everything is dark. The only place light is coming from is a small screened window just above me on the wall. I crawl to it, stumbling a few more times when that strange pull starts again. It's like whatever I'm in is turning, but I'm not so I just kind of…tumble in the wrong direction. Even the floor feels like it's vibrating some.

I can't stand long enough to see what's on the other side though, my limbs feel like they aren't really a part of my body. Did I get sent to hell after Shoto killed me? I might have misbehaved sometimes, but I thought overall, I was good for Master… I don't understand why I deserve this.

I begin weeping softly as I curl up into a ball and wish for mercy. Eventually, though, I'm too thirsty to cry anymore and just stare numbly into the darkness. It seems like hours and hours before whatever I'm in stops moving entirely and I hear a door open and close.

I don't move though; I'm petrified. Is this one of the demons Master told me about? There's a wrenching sound in front of me and then a rush of light that hurts my eyes. To my complete shock, Shoto is standing there looking almost as confused as I am.

All I remember is him choking me… Did I not die like I was supposed to after all? Will he punish me? He promised I wouldn't hurt anymore, but now I'm not so sure.

"Come here, Izuku." Shoto orders once he's shaken the surprise from his face and at first, I don't move at all… I just stare at him with overwhelming uncertainty.

With a quick glance around the little space I'm in, I know I don't exactly have a choice though. There's no way out but the direction he's in and I already know that he's faster and stronger than I am. Maybe if I'm good and make him happy he'll keep his promise and take away my pain.

"Izuku, I'm your Master now and you will obey me; Come here."

Even now as he scolds me his voice is so soft… so kind. I like hearing it and I'm too tired and overwhelmed to resist, so I move towards it. I have to crawl since my limbs are still uncooperative, but he offers me his hand when I reach the edge of the space.

Almost immediately after I take it and plant my feet on the ground my legs collapse. My last Master would have just let me fall, but Shoto doesn't; he catches me and hoists me back up into his arms. Just like when I was being suffocated on that cold slab, I'm comforted despite my terror.

Now that I'm not sobbing, I can smell him better too; it's like spearmint gum and maybe cinnamon? It's hard for me to tell since I don't get to smell either of those things often but I'm pretty sure I'm right. I press my nose into his neck and do my best to relax; my own neck is killing me.

His heartbeat is so steady while he carries me, but when I see that he takes me into a bathroom, mine starts to stutter with fear. The sink is huge and has a lot of space to put things on; if I wasn't panicking, I'd probably admire the crisp whiteness and little bits of silver marbled in. But all I can think about when he sets me on it is that I'm about to be punished for not doing what he said the first time he asked; water punishments are the worst.

"P-please, Master…" I whimper, pulling his attention away from the tub he'd begun filling. "I'll be g-good from now on I s-swear…"

He watches as my gaze fearfully turns to the rapidly accumulating water, his brows furrowing slightly before realization replaces his puzzlement. I'm practically quaking as he comes back towards me and pets my cheek like he did earlier.

"I'm just giving you a bath, Izuku. It will feel good, I promise."

I let out a shuddering breath and nuzzle his palm. 'Baths' were anything but pleasant with my last Master. If I got too dirty, I was just given a rag and a bucket of water since the bathtub was upstairs. It was alright when it was warm but sometimes when it was cold in my room, I really hated it. Shoto gets another look in his eye that I don't recognize, and I realize I must have been mumbling again; I can't get away with anything with my stupid mouth.

He turns from me and I close my eyes with worry; I may not know exactly what that look meant, but I know it wasn't good. The water turns off and it makes me shiver, but I stay exactly where I am until I feel his hand gripping mine and helping me to my feet once more.

My face steams with embarrassment when he starts lifting my shirt up and pushing the boxers off of my hips; no matter how many times I played games with Master and his friends I could never seem to stop turning red and getting flustered. I watch him without directly looking and am shocked to see that his eyes aren't roaming over me like theirs did; It causes goosebumps to form all over me, but not in a bad way.

I really have to look away when he takes off his own shirt. Master wasn't as thin as me, but he didn't look like Shoto does—none of his friends did. Shoto's beautiful. The sound of his pant buckle unlatching and the clothing falling to the floor somewhat dispels the butterflies in my stomach though; I never like this part of the game.

"I'm going to put you in the water and clean you now," he hums, and I swear his voice becomes deeper as it ghosts over my ear. "If you are uncomfortable or want to do something yourself, just tell me."

An involuntary shudder rumbles through me and I mechanically nod, letting him lift my naked form and slowly lower me into the large tub. The moment the water touches my skin, however, I start wondering if maybe I did die, and this is my heaven. I sigh from the wonderful warmth surrounding me, lazily grinning as I think I might want to be cleaned every day.

The next hour or so is repetitive in the best way. He gently but firmly rubs the cloth all over my skin and then uses this strange shower head that pulls out of the wall to rinse the parts of me that stick out of the water.

He goes over every area more than once, again and again until he seems satisfied that whatever he thinks is on me has been removed. I couldn't care less; I love the way it feels and would happily get dirty again if it meant this kind of treatment. The best part though is when he gets to my head.

"Close your eyes, Izuku." I hear him tell me and I do so without hesitation. "If they start to sting, tell me and we'll rinse them out."

There must be a word for someone as talented as him. His fingers are amazing as they slowly sink into my hair and begin massaging; I can't help but let my closed eyes roll back slightly when his nails slowly scrape over my scalp. He cleans my face too, rubbing the cloth in small circles everywhere until it's time to rinse and repeat again.

I'm truly sad when he drains all the water and gives me one more full-body rinse before helping me out, but that changes when he wraps a fluffy towel around me and delicately pats me dry. I watch with affection when he opens a few drawers and pulls out a brush and toothpaste, handing them to me.

"I'm going to go and find you something to wear." He states, leaving me for the moment.

If there's one thing my last Master was fanatic about, it was me taking care of my mouth. I have no idea why, but it was kind of nice to be able to wash out bad tastes whenever I felt like it and though Shoto hasn't made me taste anything yucky yet, I'm happy he will let me brush my teeth too.

I'm wiping my mouth off when Shoto comes back with a shirt and boxers—both of which absolutely drown my considerably smaller body as I slip them on. I don't think I've had new clothes in years… I certainly haven't had ones this clean and soft; there isn't even a single stain on them!

Shoto somewhat frowns down at me though and guides me to sit on the toilet lid before running his fingers through my damp hair. At first, I'm all kinds of nervous since I'm eye level with his muscled navel, but I figure I've been given the treat of a nice bath and it's time for me to 'be a good pet' as my last Master put it, even if my throat's still sore. I didn't like the way my mouth tasted when Master and his friends had me do this, but for Shoto, I won't even make a face if I'm told to swallow.

I'm about to reach up to pull him from his boxers when he starts speaking again, his fingers twisting a few of my matted curls. "I'll have to cut some of the larger tangles from your hair, but we can worry about that tomorrow."

My chest spasms and I feel like slapping myself; of course, he wasn't going to make me play the game… he promised. I feel guilty for even thinking Shoto would do such a thing, but that's all I've known for well over a decade. He scoops me into his arms once more, and I wrap my arms around his neck, silently apologizing while he carries me into the adjoining room.

The light was off when we first walked through, but now I can see a big bed that looks like the ones I saw in magazines Master brought me sometimes… actually, the whole room looks like it should be one of those pictures I dreamed about getting to see in person. There's even a huge window on one of the walls and it doesn't have any wood covering it! I can't see anything because it's nighttime, but just the hope of getting to look through it one day has my heart thumping wildly.

Shoto must have noticed my longing gaze because as soon as he maneuvers me to my feet at the edge of the bed, he grips my chin and tilts my face up to his. It startles me a little, but the hold isn't tight and painful like when my last Master would do it.

"This is your room now, Izuku. I'm not going to put a chain on you and I won't lock the door or window, but I want you to stay in here unless I come to get you, do you understand?"

I think my heart stopped or maybe started beating really fast? I'm not sure because I really and truly must be dead. "This is mine?" I whisper incredulously. "I stay in here now?"

He nods and I sway on my feet, completely overwhelmed by the sudden development. Once again, those strong arms are cradling me until I'm set down on the softest thing I've ever laid on. Shoto tucks me under the covers and as he does, the sheets glide across my skin; it feels like there isn't anything friction—like I'm lying in clouds.

"Sleep well, Izuku."

I meant to say something in response, but I'm not sure I did. I'm too comfortable, too tired… I likely fell asleep immediately.

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Thanks for tuning in, friends! I'm so happy ya'll are still reading and hope you enjoy it! I always appreciate your comments so, please consider checking out Mekabella21 and her stories too! She's amazing and deserves a lot of attention for all the work she puts into her fanfiction!

Stay safe!