Shouto Todoroki

Rui… Todoroki thought while walking towards his apartment door. I wonder what happened.

"Yer leaving again?" Bakugou crossed his arms and raised a brow.

"Yeah. Rui."

With that, Todoroki made his way to Higoro's apartment. He entered the apartment to see the metal kitchen bin propped open by the aggregation of pre-packaged meal boxes and sludge-smudged plastic trays. The white overhead light in the kitchen was dim with a slight flicker. Empty bottles of alcohol dotted the kitchen counters. The fridge released the odor of mold, expired meat, and souring milk. Yet, the room itself was permeated by lingering layers of smoke that almost seemed to have infused with the building itself.

"Rui?" Todoroki called out, listening to the echo of his voice on the cold kitchen tiles.

I know he wasn't like this before, Todoroki thought while catching a glimpse of the picture framed on the wall beside the apartment door. He looked better when he moved in here. The apartment wasn't a safety hazard, either. To think he's basically Bakugou's age but a grade above me, and this is the state of things. I wonder how different things would be if he'd been allowed to get help. His eyes drifted to a familiar bottle of alcohol that had been decapitated at the neck.

"You're useless!" Higoro snapped, smashing a bottle of alcohol against Todoroki's left shoulder. "Useless, useless, useless!" His invectives became the jagged teeth of glass ripping through Todoroki's flesh.

Yet, once Higoro's rage simmered with his labored breaths, he whispered, "You're not useless, Shouto… Sorry."

I'll never excuse what you've chosen to do to me as well as Katsuki, but I'd rather remind you that there are still 'good people' in the world.

Wincing, Todoroki queried, "Is something troubling you?"

Higoro slowly began to braid his long hair which was like individual scarves of snow. "My mom texted me to ask if I'd found a job yet. Haha… No. No, Mom…" He grimaced, but he promptly stitched over the emotions writhing in his visage with a smile. "I am just a pathetic good-for-nothing, aren't I, Shouto? Right? Not… Not even human. Aha… Oh, it's too funny."

"Rui, though you've done some terrible, unforgivable things, you're still human. I feel like the closest you can get to being a 'monster' is denying the notion that humans are anything but human, or making the claim that some are 'monsters.' We can all relate to each other to some degree—even with those 'monsters' we refuse to believe we could ever be like."

Tying his side-braid at the end, Higoro replied, "It's funny you say that when you dedicate your life to disposing of villains who might as well be 'monsters' too. Some of us…" He brushed his thumb over the loops of his braid. "Some of us just want to be heard, and to be ourselves. And when we don't get that…" He bent down and picked up a shard of glass at his feet.

"I'll listen."

Higoro offered a plaintive smile. "You're too cute. Haha… Stop being like who I used to be…when I was human."

Lifting up the glass crown by the handle, Todoroki tossed the clump into the trash. To his left was a brown dining table with two chairs on opposite ends. A paper bowl filled a quarter of the way with a red broth bestrewn with green, orange, and red flakes sat at the end of the table nearest Todoroki. Yet, on the floor was a pair of chopsticks caked in a red film with a few dried splotches on the floor around and beneath them.

What happened? Todoroki wondered, scrutinizing a few claw marks in the wood of the table to the right of the paper bowl that he did not remember previously existing. Strange.

Then, Todoroki walked into the short hallway leading to Higoro's room, the guest room, and the bathroom. He eyed the broken picture dangling by a dilapidated wire on the wall. The picture was of Higoro, whose hair had been tied into a ponytail, but Todoroki couldn't make out many other details that hadn't been obscured by the foggy webs of broken glass.

"Oh, you must be wondering why that's broken. Simple: I hate it, and I want to keep hating it. My mom took the picture a long time ago."

He's oddly…friendly. He wasn't like this yesterday. He was pissed the entire day. Maybe he's happy to show me his place for the first time?

"Why do you hate it?"

"Let's not go there."

Glancing around, Todoroki cast his gaze to the bathroom. The door was slightly ajar, and the hum of the fan droned out. Emanating from that room was a scent he recognized all too well: bamboo shampoo.

"Is there a point where you think you'll cut your hair?" asked Todoroki, who sat behind Higoro on a stool in the bathroom with a brush in his right hand and a handful of long, silverish-white hair in his left.

"Hm. Who knows. I like it long, even if it's a pain in the ass sometimes."

"How come?"

"It was long when I was young. But my mom made me cut it at some point. She didn't let me grow it out. She said I looked too girly. She just got worse after that." Higoro folded his hand over a large, oblong splatter of a scar wrapped around his left elbow.

Todoroki closed his eyes, recalling a memory of his mother. "Want a hug?"

"Why didn't she ever say things like that to me? 'Oh, I love you so much, Rui.' Bullshit… Bullshit. All of it… Why did I keep giving you second chances? Why was I always so nice to shit like you? Even now, all I can do is just, y'know, be on my 'best behavior' whenever I talk to her." Higoro's face fell to his palms as he exhaled sharply; red tinged his visage. "I wish you'd just fucking die already…"

Then, Todoroki crept towards Higoro's room. He knocked on the white door twice, and he called out Higoro's name again, but there was no response. Dubious of the ensuing silence, Todoroki slowly rotated the cold metal knob of the door. The clinking and gnashing of iron teeth grinding iron teeth scraped through his ears, and with the sour creak of the door, Todoroki stepped into the room.

Drenched in the urine-colored light of the bedside lamp, the figure Todoroki labeled as his significant other sat silently. White tendrils of hair spilled from its shoulders to its hips, and resting beneath its yellow, half-squinted eyes was a thin smile. The faded flesh on its slender arms beckoned for an embrace.

"Shouto…" the grinning figure whispered, tilting its head.

Todoroki slowly approached the bed, but he stopped at the edge and glanced into the yellow eyes that served as a permanent reminder of the fatal mistake he'd made on the night he met Higoro.

"Oh, you're keeping your distance?" the figure murmured. "Did you figure out how my Quirk works?"

I knew after you used it on me a few times. If I'd never looked into your eyes, none of this would have happened. But the past can't be changed.

Bumping into a figure that was relatively the same height as him on the barren street a block away from his home, Todoroki glanced into a pair of shimmering, yellow eyes. He felt something warm curl around his wrist, and as he attempted to break his arm away from the stranger's grasp, he realized that he was unable to move his body. His eyes flicked to the hand around his wrist, but he was unable to move his lips or his limbs.

"I finally got you," the white-haired figure chuckled while shuffling into an alleyway with Todoroki in its arms. "Now, listen to me… If you want your boyfriend to stay in one piece, you're going to do as I say. I hate you, but I hate him more. So fucking arrogant, powerful, healthy, and good-looking… And he didn't have to do a thing for any of it? Pushing losers like us who weren't given abilities and Quirks suitable for something as high-end as U.A. down face-first into the dust with ugly sneers and jabs. Disgusting. Getting support and attention from every direction even when you fuck up royally? All because you were born special? 'All humans are created equal,' huh?"

I don't like this at all. Leave Katsuki alone. Wait, are you… Are you that person… I can't move. What do you want me to do? Just leave him alone. He's suffering enough…

"In another timeline, I'd have been at U.A. with you guys right now. Not even my parents believed in me to make it that far. I tried. I did the entrance exam. I couldn't destroy a single one of those fucking machines. Go figure. My Quirk isn't suited for that. They shamed me so much for my complete failure that I refused to attend some business class there. I dropped school anyway, so not like it mattered. Haha… Anyway, all I want is a relationship with you."

Why can't I remember what happened after that?

Todoroki twined his fingers with Higoro's suspended digits. "I've known for a while." He let out a sigh. "Did you eat? I'm glad you were able to take a shower." He kept his eyes on Higoro's saffron eyes.

Higoro pulled Todoroki onto the bed. "I made instant noodles a bit ago. I would've made something better, but… Well, never mind that. It's unimportant." He ran his pale, flaky fingers through Todoroki's hair. "It's still weird being able to just be myself around you. I'm so used to just…" His eyes scrunched shut. "Y'know, I cry about it, scream about it, write about it, and break people and things because of it, but no matter what I do, it still hurts. But I guess that's just karma, huh?"

"It's fine if you weren't feeling up to going out even after putting in the effort to get up and shower," Todoroki reassured the same person who had rewritten his very fate. "It's nothing to be ashamed of. But I really do think a therapist could help you sort that out, Rui."

Higoro's faded smile stretched into the scowl dinned into Todoroki's mind, but that scowl was promptly replaced by a neutral expression. "Shouto, I appreciate the concern, but I'm doing just fine. So, stop bringing that up, will you?"

"You know, it's normal for someone who loves you to see your flaws and want to help you correct them. I know you've been hurt countless times, but think about what you're really doing to yourself. Does this really make you happy? Is this how you want to spend your life? Do you want this to be the foundation for your future?"

I know something's going on since you're actively trying to keep your composure. Did your mom text you or call you again?

A thin smile materialized on Higoro's face. "And it got me thinking… Let me whisper it to you." As his hot breaths dampened Todoroki's ears, he whispered, "I just need to get rid of my true problem once and for all."

Before Todoroki's heart could beat again, he felt a sharp pain cut through his leg. He bit back a gasp, and as a dull, throbbing wave of pain slithered through his thigh, he pulled back from Higoro.

There, wedged into Todoroki's right thigh, was the black hilt of a kitchen knife. A metal trapezoid separated human flesh from blade hilt. Beneath the blade buried deep into Todoroki's flesh was his hastened pulse flickering through the staunched gash in his leg.

"If only it were you…" hissed Higoro under his breath as he revealed a second kitchen knife from behind him. "I planned for it to be you, but unlike everyone else, I won't go back on my word. I felt so empowered to finally take control and no longer be the one getting used again and again and again… It felt so good to have that power, Shouto. It felt like I was getting revenge on all those people. Doing what they did to me, but so much worse—just like they deserve. And all the while, destroying your real boyfriend's mental stability." Higoro sieved the knife jutting out of Todoroki's trembling leg. "But you were too perfect. At first, it felt so good to see you so hurt and uncomfortable. But you gave me everything I wanted and more, even when I took everything from you.

"I don't understand. I took everything from you all for myself, and you'll still give me love and kindness without batting an eye? And even now, you'll listen quietly when there's a knife in your leg? I used to be more like you. But then, I kept getting used for that kindness. For brushing off the red flags because I loved those people and wanted them to be happy. For giving to those who didn't deserve it. It kind of drove me crazy, Shouto. And then, no one wanted to be with me. No one loved me. No one accepted me. No one wanted me. My parents gave me a ton of money and left me. Bakugou? He got so much just for being born special, and he flaunts it whenever he gets the chance. So, now we're here. I wish I could kill you, but deep down, you want me to die, don't you?" Higoro presented the knife to Todoroki.

I see now, Todoroki thought while ensconcing Higoro into an embrace. You don't know the hell Katsuki has been through, though. He's like you, in a way. He hissed through his teeth in agony as a burning blade tore deeper into his flesh.

"Why are you doing this?" Higoro gasped, digging the knife in Todoroki's thigh to the left and right. "Just take it and get what you want now." He pursed his lips, gritting his teeth when Todoroki tightened the embrace. "It's right here! Stop being a fucking idiot, Shouto! I know you're just masking the unmeasurable bloodlust you have to see me meet my fitting end. I know how it goes! But this time, you get to quench the thirst to kill the thing you hate the most. So, take it! Take it already!"

It's not that I want you to live, and it's not that I want you to die. But would it be fucked up if I wanted to see just how far you'd go? If you want to die that badly, I'm not stopping you. If you want to stab me in the back, I'm not stopping you. But—

Todoroki's senses burned in white when the sound of flesh being pierced cut through his core.