Legal Disclaimer: I own my stuff, but not the original source material. That belongs to whoever. Also, the opinions and interpretations I use here may not reflect the same in said whoever that owns the source material. Look, I'm just a poor college librarian. Suing me isn't going to get you anything but tears.

Warning: This work may be offensive to some readers. Feel free to back out if need be.

Author's Note: I'm just throwing prompts together.

Submitting Info:
Stacked with: Hogwarts (Term 13); MC4A
Individual Challenges: True Colours; Gryffindor MC (x2); Slytherin MC (x2); Magical MC (x4); Medic MC; Rian-Russo Inversion; Lovely Triangle; Ship Sails; Hold the Mayo; Lunar Era; Old Shoes (Y); Short Jog; Bucket Listing (Y); Eating Cake
House: Slytherin
Assignment No.: Term 13 – Assignment 03
Subject (Task No.): n/a
Other Hogwarts Challenges: Insane Prompt Challenge [27](Inevitable); 365 [163](Inevitable); Herbology Club [3-6](Samar); Auction [17-2](Regulus/Remus/Barty Jr); Back to School Shopping [Books](Remus Lupin); Pinata [Easy](Hurt/Comfort)
Other MC4A Challenges: Hunt [Su Items](Incense Holder); Chim [Deke](Royal Purple); Ship (n/a)[Su Med 1](Best Friend Test); Fire [Hard](Taking the High Seas); Garden [Plant Food](Sweet)
Representation(s): Regulus Black/Remus Lupin/Barty Crouch Jr; Black Lily Evans Potter
Primary & Secondary Bonus Challenges: Grease Monkey; Lyre Liar; Most Human Bean; Muck & Slime; Abandoned Ship; Head of Perseus; In the Trench; Surprise!; Second Verse (Ladylike; Not a Lamp; Middle Name; Mother Hen; Spinning Plates; Unwanted Advice; Three's Company; Lovely Coconuts); Chorus (Wabi Sabi; Fizzy Lemonade; Machismo; Peddling Pots; Tomorrow's Shade; Larger than Life; Unicorn; Creature Feature); Demo 1 (Under the Bridge; Sweetest Burn); Demo 2 (Call Me Dantes; Toto's Tribute; Sitting Hummingbird)
Tertiary & Generic Bonus Challenges: T3 (Toad); SN (Rail; Spare); LiCK (Poppy; Amaranth; Narcissus; Tansy; Yarrow); FR (Satisfaction; Liberation); O3 (Olivine); War (Monomania; Obstruction; Sanctuary; Ennui)
Word Count: 1463

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Unconventional Meetings
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Remus never expected it to happen, let alone in the way that it did. They were both younger than him, though not by a whole lot. Regulus had been born not even a full year after Sirius had been (and that was certainly something that made Remus a bit uneasy, given how he had now dated both of the Black brothers) while Barty was a fully two years younger than Remus.

He knew that they were Death Eaters. The Dark Mark was a very obvious tell for that, especially since it ate through concealment charms like water through candy floss. While not impossible to have sex without ever removing one's shirt, having two lovers with that quirk would have been rather obvious. Yet there was a difference between joining because of belief in the ideals and being forced to join because the other option is to die painfully after watching your loved ones die painfully. They had an arrangement where Regulus and Barty passed along what sensitive information they could while subtly sabotaging other operations. Their information had already saved three entire families from being captured.

On the other side of the equation, Regulus and Barty knew about his furry little problem, as Sirius and James had insisted on continuing to call it. Neither of them minded beyond understanding that there were extra precautions to be taken during any sexual activity or if they decide to move into anywhere together. Not that was likely to ever happen, not when Walburga was determined to keep Regulus home where she could keep him under her thumb and Barty's mother was bedridden.

Remus made sure to let them know that he was fine on his own. In reality, he was only able to manage to keep the flat he rented because Lily refused to accept his refusal for her and James to pay for all the expenses. He might have been able to convince James to back off, or even a tag team of James and Sirius, but Lily was a force unto herself. There were times that he truly believed that if Dumbledore wanted to end the war with the least amount of casualties, he should send Lily into negotiate Voldemort's surrender. She would manage it or dying trying.

It was the literalness of that possibility that kept him from making the suggestion out loud. Lily was likely to think it was a good idea and actually try it. The risk of failure was too high for him to ever risk it.

Or at least, it had been, before Regulus had shown up on his door on a dark and stormy night with a half-dead house elf and a look in his eyes more wild than the one Remus got around the full moon. Remus was well-versed in many kinds of first aid, but it had been clear from the outset that Kreacher had ingested some kind of potion. Knowing what the elf meant to his lover, Remus called the only expert he felt could be trusted with such sensitive matters.

Lily arrived like a whirlwind, already in motion before the royal purple incense holder that had been her Portkey had even finished falling to the ground. She had finished her apprenticeship with the Healers of St. Mungo's less than a month before, and while the Department of Mysteries had snatched her up before the ink on her certificate had even dried, she still took her oaths very seriously. The Dark Mark on Regulus' arm and the part of the story where Kreacher had been sent to assist the Dark Lord made her frown but didn't stop her from treating Kreacher to the best of her ability while ordering Remus prepare hot chocolate for all of them.

"Tell me what was so goddamn important that you'd even consider going back to wherever Molder-Shorts set up this trap of his," Lily demanded once Kreacher had been settled to sleep off the last bit of the potion. She leaned back in her chair, letting her mug rest on the slight protrusion of her stomach. "And don't waste both of our time by denying it. I know what a Black preparing to do something ill-advised and dangerous looks like. So help me, I will tie you up and shove you in Remus' hall closet if I don't like your answer."

"The Dark Lord has multiple horcruxes," Regulus said, his tone flat from both exhaustion and the Calming Draught that Remus had convinced him to drink. It had been the last one Remus had had on hand, but Regulus had been teetering on the edge of being swept away by the Black Madness.

As it was, the Calming Draught was only delaying the inevitable. He had already sent a discreet message to Barty to come as soon as possible. It would take both of them to even have a hope of redirecting Regulus.

"Please tell me that you mysteriously and quite suddenly acquired a lisp," Lily demanded. Her mug shook in her hand, sloshing tiny waves of hot chocolate over her fingers. Her dark brown skin was taking on a worrying gray tinge. Not that Remus blamed her. He knew just enough about horcruxes that he felt sick to his stomach as Regulus shook his head. "Do you have any idea of how many? Even just the vaguest of possibilities?"

"I know of at least three," Regulus answered, "but I suspect it might be more given my Lord's predilection for dramatics. He cannot be allowed to keep going on as he has been. I must stop him!" Regulus shifted to rise from his seat, only to be thwarted by Remus yanking him back down into his lap. "Let me go!"

"Lily, thank you for coming over so late," Remus said as his boyfriend squirmed against him. His wards chimed to let him know that Barty had passed through the outer layer. "I'm going to need you to leave now, while I deal with this."

"Yeah, I'll probably have my own version waiting for me at home," Lily agreed, setting aside her mug despite it being almost completely untouched. "Overprotective Blacks are as maddening as their magic." She stroked a hand over her stomach. "It will only get worse when this one gets here. I may end up hexing both Sirius and James."

"Remus, I got your—" Barty cut himself off as spotted Lily bending to pick up the simple incense holder she had used to make her Portkey. "Lady Potter. You're out late."

"Psh," she dismissed as she straightened back up. "You mean that I'm out late for someone in my condition." She pointed the incense holder at him like it was an extension of her arm. "It's the goddamn nineteen eighties. I don't have to sequester myself away for my whole pregnancy if I don't feel like it."

"I understand that, Lady Potter," Barty said, keeping himself very still as if Lily was a dangerous creature he was hoping to avoid setting off, "but these are dangerous times and even without that, it's half past three o'clock in the bloody morning."

Lily tapped the holder to her chin as she appraised him. Even Regulus had settled down as the rising tension in the room penetrated his instinct to protect the world. Finally, she pointed the incense holder at Barty again.

"I have decided that I like you," she declared. Barty looked faintly alarmed at her words. However, the redhead was already turning back towards her friend. "Now remember that Kreacher needs to rest, regardless of what he will likely want to do. You aren't going to actually manage to keep in him laying down, but do try and definitely keep him doing anything too strenuous with his magic. He needs it to heal more than cooking or cleaning. I trust you know how to use that knowledge to keep stubborn house elves from making martyrs of themselves." Regulus gave her a nod. "Good. Have fun, boys. I'll see what I can drag up on how to handle Lord Mildew's newest stain and we'll start the process of destroying them in a few days."

"Lily, you're pregnant," Remus started. "You can't just—"

"Sorry," Lily interrupted as she pulled out her wand to recast the spell that would take her home. "I can't hear you. You're breaking up. I must be going through a tunnel."

"Car phones don't even work like that," Remus protested only for Lily to disappear in a swirl of bluish-white sparks. "Oh, Sirius and James are going to kill me."

"Well, we have a few hours before they come calling," Barty said as he pressed close to his boyfriends on the beaten up divan. "We should make the most of them."

And they did.