Are we ready for some teenage angst? I hope so friends XD Also, I got some new keychains because I'm a dork with a terrible obsession!
P.S. I'm in love with Overhaul and Tamaki now too, so, they'll probably pop up in at least one of my ongoing stories!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
What I've Done
Chapter 7
Loud. Chaotic. Crowded. I once again find myself completely unprepared for the onslaught of noises and people bustling around me. I'm technically starting my last year of middle school, but for me, this is the first time I've ever been to school other than pre-kindergarten daycare.
Inko's hand is wound tightly around mine as she leads me through the hallway while Naomasa's gentle grip stays firmly on my shoulder. I don't know why people are staring at me, but the expression on their faces as well as the laughing makes me feel something… It's unpleasant whatever it is and somewhere deep in my mind, I recall experiencing it before.
"Okay, 'Zuku!" Inko whispers to me, giving my temple a kiss. "Here's your class… Now you have everything you need right? Books, paper—"
"I'm sure he's fine, honey…" Naomasa cuts in and for once I'm grateful he's there.
"Yes," I add, attempting to add 'pep' to my voice. "I will do my best to be a good student."
They look more worried after I speak, but I'm agreeing to do something that parents and caretakers of all kinds want their children to do. It's hard to please them; I don't know what they want from me like I do with Tomura and Master.
The moment they leave and I open the door to my classroom, however, the very first person I see is Katsuki Bakugo and all thoughts of my 'parents' are gone. I can't help but let myself feel something at the sight. I mean really, I finally get out of the suffocating grasp of my 'parents' only to be thrust into the hands of my childhood bully?
"And who might you be?"
Bakugo was staring out the window with a bored scowl on his face until the teacher spoke, but now he's looking right at me and all I seem to be able to do is look back at him. It's like neither of us can believe the other is there, his scowl utterly replaced by shock and confusion.
"Izuku… Izuku Midoriya…" I finally reply, numbly turning to the teacher to hold up my paperwork as I slip back into apathy. "I was just enrolled."
"Alright then, Midoriya… Everything seems to be in order so why don't you have a seat. Oh, and of course you're aware that students are not permitted to use their quirks here." He explains, gesturing to the only open chair—which I'll have to pass Bakugo to get to of course.
"I'm quirkless."
Growing up with Tomura and Master spoiled me… A notion that has become abundantly clear the past month. Being as I am was never an issue with them; they wanted me for my brain and determination, not for some genetic mutation. But everyone in the room gives me the exact same look as when my 'parents' were walking me down the hall. Everyone except Bakugo, who still looks dumbstruck.
"Uh… erm… well, alright." The teacher fumbles, gesturing to the chair again.
I neatly sit where I'm told and mimic what other students do, pulling out a notebook and pencil. Nearly five minutes in I being to beam though; I learned these lessons years ago… how were they only teaching this now?
My attention only returns when something hits me on the head, immediately causing me to scamper to my knees. It's a habit at this point; Tomura would sometimes smack me to gain my attention and I learned early on that it was best to apologize and accept whatever punishment I was given. The room goes silent at my action though, looking at me like I'm something unusual—like I'm doing something wrong.
The teacher stumbles over his words again before finally telling me to either pay attention or come work the problem on the board. Direct orders are much easier for me to follow and he even gave me an option. Due to my tendency to drift in and out, I determine that I should attempt to complete the equation rather than agree to focus on learning something I already know.
It takes me less than a minute to calculate the solution in my head, the answer rolling off my tongue with ease. More stares; why does everyone always stare at me? And why does it seem like their staring is never a 'good' thing?
I don't remember the teacher telling me his name, but I believe I'll call him Mr. Stutter from now on—at least in my head. He can't seem to get out full sentences whenever it involves talking to me, but I do know I was told to show how I knew the answer. It's going to be a long day.
There's something inside me that's clawing to get out. It's deep in my chest, thrashing as it builds with every hour I'm at school. I can feel the muscles of my shoulders and neck tightening, a low ache starting to creep into my skull from the tension.
The cause is simple enough to figure out; it's Bakugo and his seeming inability to stop glancing in my direction. He almost came over when we were released for lunch but ended up stomping out only to return for class and start up his staring once more.
This sensation must be an emotion that I've been taught not to feel… That's the only explanation I can come up with to explain the increasingly desperate need to get away. If I had to give it a name I'd assume it's probably anger—but it could be fear as well; I felt both towards Bakugo before Tomura saved me.
Master and Tomura worked tirelessly to prevent me from experiencing either ever again. If a person isn't strong enough, emotions destroy their psyche… and I am weak. I don't have a strong enough will to resist their crippling influence, but Tomura does. In his great kindness, he takes on the burden of feeling for me, his pet, his tool.
That knowledge helps to ease some of the discomforts in my limbs as I finally make my way to my locker at the end of the day. Of course, just when I'm starting to get myself back under control, Bakugo finally decides that it's time to approach me.
"I-Izuku? Is that really you?"
I turn to look at him and nod, taking in how he'd changed over the last nine years; we'd both been preschoolers the last time we saw each other after all. There was something I called him though… A nickname of sorts; he wasn't Katsuki to me, but I can't quite remember…
"It's me, Katsuki… Kacchan…" he continues, helping me with my memory.
"That's right…" I respond quietly, moving past him as I begin trekking home. Inko will panic if I don't return promptly. "You used to call me Deku."
He winces visibly and my stride falters for a moment before correcting itself. I know what shame and guilt look like because I emote them frequently with Tomura, but I have absolutely no memory of Bakugo showing those expressions to anyone—especially not me. It's perplexing.
"W-wait!" he calls several minutes later, running after me to catch up after I'd sidestepped and left him on the school grounds.
I do as I'm told from habit, standing as still as I can while he rounds to my front and stops. My eyes are down at the sidewalk, fingers loosely gripping my backpack straps. From this angle, I can see his hands glistening slightly even after he wipes them on his pants. He's nervous.
"When—How—I'd heard a missing kid had been found, but I didn't know it was you…"
There isn't a full question in his statement even though his tone alludes to one; it's not clear enough for me to know what to respond with so I settle on doing nothing. Silence stretches between us for another several moments and I swear that he almost fidgets—yet another divergence from the image I'd kept in my head for so long.
All at once I'm being yanked forward, my arms and ribs almost crushed from how tightly I'm being squeezed. It's just as desperate as when Inko hugs me, but this is different somehow… I can't stand it and yet I don't really like the idea of him letting me go either.
Bakugo smells like I remember, only better; It's like smoke from burning a sweet wood with something spicy mixed in. My nose happens to be hovering just over the nape of his neck giving me an extra dose of the appetizing scent.
My covert sniffing is interrupted by him shifting and changing how he's holding me though. He keeps one arm wrapped around me, but the other slides up into my hair and somehow I manage to get pulled even closer to him.
His face is turned into the side of my head and I'm certain that I feel something wet and warm beginning to drip into my curls. It's not long before his broad shoulders begin shaking and I know that he really is crying—a realization that creates a throbbing ache in my sternum.
"I-I'm s-so sorry, I-Iz-Izuku…" he whimpers. "It's a-all my f-fault…"
I don't have a clue what he's talking about, but the way he said it makes that ache turn into an outright stab. A lump forms in my throat and my eyes begin burning, but I force myself to remember my training; Master taught me how to control intrusive emotions.
It takes considerable effort, but I do manage to force them back down and without a second to spare. I can see Inko and Naomasa's car coming down the street, likely to retrieve me. "I have to go now, Kacchan. Mom got worried and came to get me."
He trembles and tightens his grip just a hair more before slowly relinquishing the hold entirely, stepping back with a shuddered breath. There's still tension in his form however, almost like a dog that's about to get hit with a broom for doing something they know not to do.
Sure enough, the moment Inko's car practically screeches to a halt by me, she's screaming at him. "Katsuki Bakugo, you get away from my Izuku right now or I'll call the police on you! My son is not your punching bag anymore and if you come near him again, I'll have my husband get a restraining order, do you understand me?"
He cowers and steps farther back as she gets in front of me like I'm in need of protection. I'm both unsettled and irritated by how the situation is unfolding. Though many of my memories are foggy, I'm certain that Inko never raised her voice, ever. Then there's the fact that some 9 and a half years after it mattered, she's actually doing what parents are supposed to do—and Bakugo wasn't even bullying me this time.
Finally, I'm annoyed because I'm able to glance at my watch and confirm that even if I hadn't stopped to 'speak' with Bakugo, I wouldn't have been home yet. Inko and Naomasa, who's patiently waiting in the driver's seat, jumped the gun and came out to get me prematurely.
"Come on my baby, we'll get you home now." She soothes, rubbing my shoulders and directing me to the backseat.
I can't help but look at Bakugo as the door clicks shut, though all I can see at this point is his back as he trudges away. "He looks so sad…"
It took literal hours to convince Inko that I'm alright after my 'traumatizing run-in' with Bakugo, but I finally find myself alone. Even still, I'm not content as I should be. I wouldn't consider our reunion traumatizing, but it certainly wasn't something my mind seems to want to forget.
Just like when Tomura was showing me how my mother was happier once he'd saved me, my memories are fragmented and foggy about Bakugo, but there are parts I remember so clearly.
I can recall telling him that I couldn't wait to get my quirk only for him to look back and smugly say: "It doesn't matter what quirk you get, Deku, you'll never be as good as me!" I can remember his sneer when he stared down at me with crackling hands, telling me that I was useless, and even the scowl I received for offering to help him up after he'd fallen down into a creek.
But what I can't seem to remember are the behaviors he exhibited today... not even pieces of them. My only conclusion for this must be that he never acted like that, so why was he doing so now? And what did he mean that it was all his fault?
Tomura would certainly know if I asked, but I know better than to do that. Bakugo was one of the examples most commonly used when he and Master All For One were trying to help me understand the hypocrisy of heroes.
Bakugo has all the potential in the world to be a great hero, yet with his demeanor and how cruel he is naturally, there's no way anyone should ever consider him one... And still, he's going to be one just like Endeavor and so many others.
It must be a facade... A desperate attempt at pretending to be something he isn't. He'll hurt me again if he gets the chance and it won't be to make me strong like when Tomura teaches me lessons. I have to remember who he is to me; he's a bully that can't be trusted.
I hated him when we were children and nothing has changed. I'll hate him now and for the rest of my life... Tomura is the only one that cares for me and I can only ever care for him.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Ah yes, more suffering lol But Bakugo is going to have some screen time in this story for sure XD
Let me know what you think! I love reading comments!