Chaz is NOT a reliable babysitter.

Chaz looked sourly at the two children in front of him. When Crimson told him he had a very important task, the last thing he imagined was babysitting Alessio's children.

"I thought we were going to a spa all day!" he whined.

"Alessio and I are going to the spa all day. Jawns will be in charge in the meantime, so you'll look after Pietro and Giulia."

And so, Chaz was left alone with the kids, along with a list of instructions from Alessio and a silent threat:

If I find a single scratch on them when I return, sinking to the bottom of the lake will seem like a vacation compared to my wrath.

Unlike what one might think, Chaz was no idiot. He knew that Alessio doesn't make threats. He makes promises.

PHWOOO!

Chaz was abruptly pulled out of his fantasy with Moxxie by the loud sound of a flute. Giulia was blowing that shell flute of hers.

"Kid, stop blowing my sex…! I MEAN, stop blowing your shell!" Giulia looked up at him, confused. "Your shell! Stop it!"

"When will Papa come back?" Pietro inquired.

"Not soon enough," Chaz murmured. "Why don't you go bother Jawns or something?"

"Papa said you were in charge of us, and we're supposed to stick around you." The shark pup said rather bitterly. It was clear he wasn't happy about it either. "Can we get something to eat at least?"

Damn it, the first time he's in charge is not what he had in mind.

Chaz murmured under his breath. Begrudgingly, he got up and went to the kitchen, with the children following suit. Like Alessio's note said, their lunch boxes were in the fridge so at least he didn't have to cook it. He's never been that good at it, anyway. Moxxie was always the one to make their meals. Damn, what he wouldn't give to taste his food again…Alessio didn't seem to have left any drinks, so Chaz gave them random soda cans.

He told the kids, "I'll be in my room doing… grown-up stuff, so don't bother me unless it's a life-or-death situation, okay?"

He didn't exactly live in Crimson's place. He'd just picked a room to spend the time in when not sent on a job. It was decorated to his liking, mostly with photos of the 'happy times' with Moxxie and the few pictures they managed to snap at their wedding. Surely the kids could stay out of trouble while he took a nap, right? It's not like they'll steal one of the cars or anything like that. Chaz plopped unto his couch and drifted off not long after, embracing his Moxxie-scented pillow.

….

"Chaaaaz!"

The thresher shark was awoken abruptly by a loud yell and loud knocking on the door, falling off the couch in the process. Once he recovered from the rude awakening, he recognized Pietro's voice from the other side of the door. Chaz murmured under his breath.

"What?" he muttered groggily after opening the door.

"I think something's wrong with Giulia."

"What do you mean wrong?"

"I've been talking to her, but she doesn't respond."

"Big deal, she's probably just ignoring you or something-OW!" Chaz clutched his foot as Pietro kicked him. "Fine! I'll go take a look! Happy?!

Chaz quietly cursed Crimson under his breath as he stomped to the dining room. He just had to show Pietro that she was fine so he could go back to his nap. Giulia was on one of the chairs with her half-eaten lunchbox and empty can of soda turned over.

"Hey, girl! You know it's rude to ignore people?" No response. "Hellooo! Earth to Giulia, snap out of it, kiddo…! Giulia?"

He grew increasingly concerned as Giulia didn't even react to his hand shaking her shoulder gently. She didn't even blink when he waved his hand right in front of her face. That's when he realized her pupils were very dilated.

"When did she get like this?"

"After she drank from that soda can."

Chaz picked up the overturned can from the table and examined it. There didn't seem to be anything wrong with it. That is, until he noticed the red blowfish on the back of the can, accompanied by a warning.

This drinks contains 2% blowfish tetrodotoxin and isn't apt to be consumed by dolphins. No, seriously. We're not taking responsibility if you choose to ignore this warning and start seeing pink elephants or something like that.

She's high! Shitshitshitshit! Alessio's going to kill him!

"What's wrong with Giulia?"

Chaz laughed nervously, pulling on the collar of his sweater. "Did you see Dumbo? Remember the sequence with the pink elephants? That's happening to her, sort of."

"Maybe we should tell Mr. Jawns–"

"What, are you nuts?! If Jawns finds out about his, he's gonna tell your father! And if he finds out that I drugged his daughter, he's gonna hang my jaws on his wall!"

Chaz took a few deep breaths. Okay, don't panic. It's just a big of blowfish. It's not like it'll kill her, right? Maybe it's like a little weed. It'll wear off in a few hours, he just had to keep her out of sight. Hopefully, it'll wear off by the time Alessio returns… Wait, where did she go? She was in the chair a few seconds ago! Double shit, he better find her before Jawns does. Chaz and Pietro tried to look like nothing was wrong as they searched for Giulia throughout the house. Thankfully, most of the capos were out doing jobs or on their free days. They ran into Stu, Marcella, and a few others, but they were preoccupied with their own stuff to inquire as to what they were looking for, to Chaz's relief.

Somebody yelled from upstairs. The former was praying to the devil that she hasn't gotten hurt as they rushed up the stairs. Jawns was out in the corridor, standing in front of the open bathroom door. Chaz noticed the floor was flooded with water. Inside the bathroom, they found Giulia sitting on the bathtub's edge. She was pouring water over her head with the hand-shower, one of Crimson's nicest coats wrapped around her.

"Giulia, what do you think you're doing?!" Jawns snapped. The underboss ran into the bathroom to lift Giulia off the bathtub. He knew something was wrong when she didn't react. "What the-? Why are her pupils like that?! Chazwick, what did you do?!

"He gave Giuia a drink with pufferfish in it." Pietro replied.

"Gee, thanks, kiddo!"

"You fucking what?!" Jawns threw Chaz a half-incredulous, half-infuriated glare. "Dolphins get high on pufferfish, you donkey!"

"How was I supposed to know that?! I'm not a marine biologist!"

"Forget it, I'm not wasting my time with you! I need to get Giulia checked!" Jawns shoved Chaz out of the way and stomped down the hallway, with Pietro following suit.

Well, he's fucked.

Thankfully, the Family doctor said that Giulia was okay. She was just in a 'bad trip' caused by the blowfish in the drink. The effects would wear off in a few hours, hopefully before Alessio and Crimson returned. Unfortunately for Chaz, Jawns now knew, and he was not happy with him. Once the underboss had put Giulia in bed, he dragged Chaz out of the bedroom by the horn, telling Pietro to keep an eye on his sister.

"You had only one fucking task, Chazwick! Keep an eye on the children!" Jawns shouted, making Chaz shrink back. "And you wonder why we don't give you bigger jobs?! I don't even want to imagine how that would end up!"

"C-Come on, Jawns! It's not like she got hurt, did she?"

"But she could have gotten hurt, and that's the only thing that matters!" Jawns pointed a finger at him, eyes narrowed. "You're lucky she only got a mild intoxication. You know what Alessio would do to you if something happened to his daughter while you were supposed to be watching her, don't you?"

Of course he knew. Everyone, even Crimson, knows how protective Alessio is of his only daughter. The mildest thing like a cold or a scraped knee sent him on edge. Chaz didn't want to imagine how he'd react to blowfish intoxication.

"Y-You're going to tell him?"

"He's my brother-in-law, of course I should inform him." Jawns rubbed his temple, closing his eyes with an exasperated sigh. "But if I do so, he's going to take it against me too for not keeping an eye on you in the first place. And he's already got enough on his mind without having to worry about the kids… I suppose I can omit this little incident this once." Chaz sighed in relief. "Don't look so relieved, Chazwick. This is not a favor, I simply want to save Crim and Alessio the stress of having to deal with your carelessness again. For the next three months, you're going to be the errand-boy for any small tasks required. And I don't want one single complaint or I will send you to the bottom of the lake. Capisce?"

Chaz swallowed hard. "Crystal clear, sir."

That should have been the end of it, but neither of them expected Crimson's car to arrive right then. The two panicked when the front door opened and Crimson's familiar voice echoed throughout the house.

"Fucking Yakuza, I can't believe they booked the entire building!"

"Japanese do have a fondness of bathhouses, sir. If you don't mind, I'm gonna go check on my children."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever."

"Fuck! Try acting natural!"

Chaz and Jawns stood on top of the stairs as the consigliere came up. "Ale! How did the spa day go? Did you get that avocado thing on your face? You look ten years younger, you know!" The latter said rather loudly. Alessio raised an eyebrow.

"Where are Pietro and Giulia?" he asked simply.

"Oh, they're okay! You know, just doing kiddie stuff and all that shit!" Chaz laughed nervously. "Nothing's wrong!"

Alessio frowned. "Where are they?"

"You know, just asleep!"

"If that's the case, step aside so I can go take a look."

He was suspecting that something was off. Of course, it's Alessio they're talking about. He can always tell when someone is lying or trying to hide something from him. Perhaps Jawns and Chaz trying to block his way as 'subtly' as possible contributed, but the consigliere finally lost his patience and pushed through them. Chaz was mentally writing his epitaph for when Alessio killed him for drugging his daughter when Pietro peeked out of the room he and Giulia were in.

"Papa? Weren't you at the spa with Mr. Crimson?"

"It was fully booked for today, figlio. Where's Giulia?"

"She fell asleep a while ago."

Chaz and Jawns went to take a peek as Alessio entered the bedroom. To their surprise, and relief, Giulia was sound asleep. She didn't even stir as her father stroked her hair.

"Why is her hair damp?"

"Oh, that! She played a bit with the hand shower and one of Mr. Crimson's coats."

Chaz covered his mouth to hold back a dismayed squeal.

"Is that so? Well, Crim won't be happy about that." The thresher shark winced when Alessio threw a frown his way. "What was Chaz doing while that happened?"

"He went to get us some drinks."

"Oh, right! I almost forgot! I was supposed to bring… milk home to my mom, so I gotta go! Bye!" With that, Chaz dashed downstairs and out of the house—almost crashing into Crimson in the process. Thankfully, he'd be far away by the time Giulia woke up.