SONG: I'm So Tired by Fugazi

Christopher's head bounced across the sand, rolling towards Iris and coming to a stop at her feet. She watched in slow motion as his decapitated body fell to his knees and slumped to the side like a rag doll. The cannon seemed to antagonise the scorpion and it hissed, and knocked Kasia down, advancing on her. Its pincers dripped with Christopher's blood.

Kasia scrambled backwards, and Iris grabbed hold of her arm and yanked her to her feet. "Go to its other side. I'll kill it but you have to distract it, okay?"

"How?" Kasia asked, glancing from Christopher's headless body to the scorpion and back to Iris again. She looked like one of the twitchy zombies back home.

"Throw something, like I did before!" Iris said. "Get it to look somewhere else!"

The final scorpion seemed to be bigger than the other two had been, or maybe it had simply grown in size since she'd looked at it last. It certainly wouldn't be the most impossible, unnatural thing a Gamemaker mutt had done, and she wouldn't put it past them to save the biggest threat for last, after they'd already spent their energy.

The mutt hissed again, and Iris ducked, just as it sent a rivulet of poison in her direction. It sizzled into the sand, and Iris ducked to the side and crept closer, as quickly as she could.

There was suddenly a loud crash behind the scorpion, and it turned around, searching. Kasia had thrown something at another pile of weapons, and she rushed towards the scorpion from the other side. She leapt onto its back. "No!" Iris screamed. "Kasia, its stomach!"

The scorpion's stinger slammed into the left side of Kasia's head, effortlessly knocking her off its back. She slammed into the sand, and raised a hand to her face, letting out a wail of agony. Iris quickly rolled under the scorpion as it turned back to Kasia, distracted by her screams, and sliced open its belly as she and Christopher had done with the other two scorpions.

The beast hissed again, and trembled, before collapsing to the ground. Iris had rolled mostly out of the way, but she was slowed from the exertion of the battle, and wasn't quick enough. The scorpion's carcass fell heavily on her leg, and she yelped, trying to pull her leg free. Kasia was still screaming, and Iris yanked her leg free, wincing as she put pressure on it to run over to Kasia.

She dropped next to her only remaining ally. The sand stinged her leg, but she didn't want to look at whatever injury she had gained. Kasia moaned, her hands still covering her face. Iris attempted to pull them free, but Kasia was strong, and clasped her hands even more firmly over her face. "Kasia, let me see," Iris said, trying to pry her hands away. "I can't help you if you don't let me see."

Kasia let out a ragged sob, before taking her hands away from her face. Iris couldn't stop the gasp that came out of her mouth. The venom from the stinger had already begun to eat away at the left side of Kasia's face and part of her throat. There were angry red blotches on her throat and her right cheek where the venom had splattered, but those were nothing compared to the damage that had already been done.

There was a gaping hole in Kasia's cheek where the stinger had made contact. The bottom row of teeth was exposed, and the edges of the wound were jagged and were gushing blood into Kasia's mouth. Her eyelid also had a bright red splotch, but luckily there didn't seem to be any damage to her eye.

Feeling faint, Iris leaned backwards. She'd never seen something like this, and she'd seen plenty of gore back home. Once, she'd had to stand and watch as Boris beat one of his men to death - he had been giving information to the Peacekeepers in exchange for food and money. Boris had split open his skull with a bat and had kept landing hits even after the man was long dead. The sight of the man's brains splattered out across the concrete had haunted Iris for months.

But that was nothing compared to the extent of Kasia's injuries. They seemed to be getting worse by the second - Iris' stomach dropped when she realised that the acid from the venom must be eating into Kasia's flesh.

Gasping, Iris got to her feet, and stumbled past the dead scorpions to a pile of supplies. She scrabbled around uselessly, searching for something - anything - she could use to help Kasia. She grabbed a large first aid kit and a bottle of water, and went back to Kasia as quickly as she could.

In the short minutes she'd been away, the hole in Kasia's cheek had gotten bigger, and the red splotches on her throat and other cheek had grown in size. Iris unscrewed the cap off the water bottle and poured water over Kasia's face and throat, hoping to wash away the poison before it did more damage. Kasia howled, a long, keening wail, and attempted to push Iris' hands away. "I have to," Iris told her, and grimaced before pouring more water onto Kasia's wounds. The water ran into her cheek through the wound, and Kasia gurgled and choked, gulped and spluttered. Iris turned her to the side and a mixture of blood and water dribbled out of her mouth.

Iris rolled Kasia back onto her back and opened up the first aid kit. She had no idea what to do - she'd spent some time at the first aid station during training, but there had been nothing about treating burns or injuries caused by acidic venom. She ended up slathering antibacterial ointment on Kasia's wounds, figuring that it wasn't like it could make her any worse. She deliberated over whether or not to wrap Kasia in bandages, but wasn't sure how to safely do that considering the worst of her injuries were around her mouth - what if she suffocated?

After she had done as much as she could for Kasia, Iris looked at her own injuries. She was so covered in scorpion blood it was hard to tell what she was looking at, but the sheer amount of water bottles in the ship absolved her of any guilt about wasting water on cleaning herself. She ended up using about four bottles of water to clean the goop off of herself, and finally she was able to assess her own injuries.

Her arms were covered in pink splotches similar to those on Kasia, but they didn't seem to be as bad - perhaps because her clothes had taken the brunt of the venom? Her sleeves were tattered where the venom had eaten into the fabric, and she ended up shedding her shirt completely, making do with only the singlet top underneath. Her leg was bruised, but didn't seem to be broken. She wondered why the red blotches on her arms didn't seem to be getting any worse, like Kasia's were - had the scorpion's blood somehow counteracted the acid in the venom? She supposed it made sense - the scorpion would have to be immune to its own venom.

She used one of the empty water bottles to collect some of the scorpion's blood, and wiped away the antibacterial ointment, which had done absolutely nothing to help Kasia's wounds. Iris dabbed some of the scorpion's blood on the splotches on Kasia's throat, and watched for a bit before wiping the blood away again. As she had predicted, the blotches had stopped growing and some of the inflammation had gone down. Iris grinned, and put the green blood onto Kasia's cheek.

Kasia moaned, and Iris felt sorry for her. She was glad that Kasia had passed out - she couldn't imagine the kind of pain she must be in.

In her preoccupation with tending to Kasia, Iris had forgotten that Christopher's body was still inside the ship. The Gamemakers would want to collect it, and they wouldn't do that if she and Kasia were close. She briefly toyed with the idea of leaving, but in the state Kasia was in that was out of the question.

Iris sighed. She realised that she wouldn't be getting much sleep tonight. She found a tarp in one of the supply piles and rolled Christopher's headless body onto it. She looked around, realising with a panic that she didn't know where his head had ended up, before spotting it near the body of the second scorpion they had killed. Grimacing, she placed a hand gently on either side of his head and carried it to the tarp, placing it next to his body. His eyes were wide open, his mouth gaping like he had been about to shout something before the scorpion cut his head off. Iris closed his eyes gently, and tied the tarp up with a coil of rope.

She dragged the tarp over to the hole in the side of the ship. The sun had begun to set, the sky pink. The first few stars twinkled down at her. It would have been a beautiful night had it not been for the horrors she had seen during the day. She dragged the tarp as far away as she could from the ship, and made her way back as quickly as possible.

It had gotten cold in the fifteen minutes it took to drag Christopher away from the ship, and she shivered, half-regretting abandoning her tattered shirt. Inside the ship, she searched the supply piles for clothes, and found a brown, long-sleeved shirt and a down jacket, which she quickly put on. She also found a few empty containers, and filled them with the green scorpion blood, which had not changed in colour or texture despite the fact it had been several hours since they had died.

When she was done, she returned to Kasia's side. Her ally had still not woken up. Iris checked her wounds, which hadn't gotten worse, but also hadn't gotten better, and reapplied some scorpion blood. She had the largest meal she'd had in the arena so far, eating the last of the bread she had gotten from the Cornucopia, as well as a can of soup that tasted good even cold.

She sat at the entrance to the ship and watched as Christopher's face lit up the night sky before he disappeared forever.

/

Iris woke up with a jerk. She hadn't meant to fall asleep, but the exertions of the day had gotten to her. Her dreams had been full of dancing scorpions, and she had been fighting them off with a flail made out of one of their own tails. She had seen headless Christopher, riding a scorpion and swinging a lasso with his own head caught in the noose.

Though the dream was disturbing, it gave her an idea. She wouldn't be able to use the tails to make a flail - they were too heavy, too impractical, and it would take time and resources she didn't have to construct and become familiar with the weapon. But surely she could find a use for the venom. She didn't exactly know how to collect the venom from something, but she gave it a shot anyway, and managed to collect enough to put in a tiny jar she found in the ship. She wasn't sure what she could use it for, but it was the Hunger Games! It wouldn't be too hard to find a use for it.

By the time Iris had collected the venom, she guessed it to be around five am or so. The sun was beginning to peek over the horizon and the sky was tinged with light pink. Kasia still hadn't stirred, and maybe letting her sleep would be a better option, but Iris was getting antsy, sitting around in the ship. They'd already been there far too long, and with Christopher's cannon yesterday… well, she might as well have sent a banner into the sky saying 'Hey Careers, come and get us, we're right here!'

It occurred to her that yesterday morning, she'd been having the exact conversation with Kasia, only it was Christopher they were waiting on. Now Iris had to decide whether to wait for Kasia to get better before leaving, or to drag her along anyway, or to go by herself, abandoning Kasia. The third option was the smartest, and was probably what Pomponia and Haylee were wanting her to do. But Iris knew that she would be laden with guilt if she left Kasia to die. Especially after Kasia had dragged her from the Bloodbath when she shut down after killing Taggerty.

And so she would wait. She didn't know whether she was waiting for Kasia to get better or to die, but she would wait all the same. "Iris," Kasia said croakily.

Iris turned around, surprised to see that Kasia had woken up all by herself. "I was just about to wake you up."

Kasia didn't respond to this. She frowned, and rubbed at her throat. "Can I have some water?"

"Sure," Iris said, handing her a water bottle.

Kasia raised the bottle to her lips and took a large gulp, swallowing. Her eyes widened and she clutched her throat, letting out a pained moan.

"Kasia?" Iris asked, frowning. Why was she reacting to the water like she had just drunk acid?

"Iris, the water burns," Kasia whispered, tears pouring down her face. "It burns!"

Iris didn't know what to do. Why was her throat burning? The small burns that had been on her throat after the scorpion attack had gotten better, and she'd checked them an hour ago. So why was she reacting to the water like she'd just swallowed the acid itself?

Cold trickled through Iris' veins as she realised what had happened. Yesterday, when she had put water on Kasia's cheek, when Kasia had choked on the water and the blood… what if she had swallowed it? What if the water had carried the venom off her cheek and down her throat? "Iris, what?" Kasia croaked, catching sight of the worry on Iris' face.

Gasping, Iris reached forward and wiped the scorpion blood off of Kasia's neck. Sure enough, her neck was bright red and inflamed, and although the burns on the outside had almost completely faded, the skin looked taut and hot to the touch, as if she was burning from the inside. Iris gulped. "Kasia, I… I think you might have swallowed some of the venom."

"Fuck," Kasia said, sitting up. She raised a hand to her throat and winced, jerking her hand away. "I… it got my cheek, right?"

"Yeah," Iris said. She wasn't sure how much she should tell Kasia. How do you tell a person about the hole in their face? Iris didn't know. "It did." She also didn't know whether to tell Kasia that it was her fault she'd swallowed the venom in the first place. That she was the one who had flushed it down her throat. That it was Iris' fault she was dying.

"And now it's in my throat," Kasia said. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Iris watched her carefully. "In my body. What does that mean?"

Iris knew what it meant, but she didn't want to have to say it. From the speed the acid had eaten away at Kasia's cheek, Iris didn't doubt that it would be doing the same thing on the inside. Destroying her oesophagus. Travelling down to her stomach. Slowly eating away at her flesh. "I… don't know."

From the look on her face, Kasia didn't believe her. She lifted a hand up to her cheek, feeling the hole the acid had left there. Her eyes widened. "But - but that was a small burn yesterday. How - ?"

"It's quick," Iris said quietly.

Kasia bit her lip. "It's doing that on the inside now, isn't it."

"I think so."

"I can feel it. It's burning. It's like there's… there's ants in my body, biting me and destroying me from the inside out." More tears poured down Kasia's cheeks, cutting lines through the green blood. "I'm going to die." Iris didn't answer, and that was answer enough for Kasia. Her ally took a deep breath, grimacing as if even breathing hurt her, and maybe it did. "It could be worse," she said, surprising Iris.

"How could it be worse? You're dying."

"There are worse things than dying," Kasia said simply. "I'm not scared of dying. I've had a week to wrap my head around it." She smiled. "I was never going to win. I don't know if I want to win. If that's what you can call it. Christopher was never going to win either. But you can win, Iris. You're not the kind of person who dies."

Iris wasn't sure what she meant by that, but she wasn't about to let Kasia give up so easily. Kasia, who she had butted heads with so much during training. Kasia, who reminded her of herself. Kasia, who had dragged Iris away from her death, who had forgiven her for killing Taggerty, who had fought alongside her, who she'd nearly died with in the desert. She clenched her jaw. "And you're not the kind of person to give up."

Iris stood up and walked over to her pack, grabbing one of the containers she had filled with scorpion blood. She marched back over to where Kasia was sitting and handed her the container and a spoon. "Here."

Kasia pulled a face, looking at the green goop in disgust. "What the hell is this?"

"Scorpion blood."

"What?!"

"Yesterday, after I killed the scorpions. I noticed that my burns from when it spat at me were healed, and the only reason I could think of was because I was covered in blood from when I killed it." She pulled up her sleeve and showed Kasia her mostly-healed burns. "I put it on your injuries, and they got better. Don't you see? The scorpions are immune to their own venom. Their blood counteracts the effects of it."

"So you're saying… if I eat this, it'll heal me from the inside out?"

"Well, it worked on the other burns," Iris said, suddenly feeling stupid for getting her hopes up that Kasia would be alright. She knew, deep down, that it wouldn't work. They'd left it too late. The acid was too far into her body. She was in pain. But Iris didn't want to give up, and she didn't want Kasia to give up either.

"Yeah, I don't know. I feel like eating the strange scorpion goop isn't a good idea," Kasia said, and laughed. Her laugh turned into a deep, hacking cough. She covered her mouth, and coughed some more, and Iris quickly rustled through Christopher's pack and found the inhaler.

She held it out to Kasia. But Kasia didn't take it. She was frozen, staring at her hand, which was splattered with blood. Slowly she looked up at Iris, before spitting a mouthful of blood into the sand. "I don't think it will work," she said softly.

"No," Iris said firmly, clenching her jaw. "We're going to try. You're going to eat the strange scorpion goop if I have to force it down your throat myself."

"Iris, it's in my lungs," Kasia said, wincing. "I can feel it, every time I breathe. I felt it when I tried to drink. I feel it when I talk. It hurts, Iris, and there's nothing either of us can do about it."

Iris wanted to argue, but she knew that Kasia was right. "I'm sorry, Kasia."

"A few days ago you would have loved to watch me die."

Iris frowned. "No, that's not true."

"You didn't want to ally with me."

"That's a very different thing to wanting you to die," Iris said quietly. "I didn't want to ally with you because you're stubborn. Smart. You're like me. You're dangerous."

"That's… actually why I didn't want to ally with you," Kasia said, laughing. She coughed again, and grimaced at the fresh blood that covered her sleeve. "We're too similar. I thought we'd never be able to work together. That I'd never be able to trust you. I guess we were both wrong."

"I guess so," Iris agreed.

"You tried to save my life."

"I didn't do a very good job of that, obviously," Iris replied.

Kasia took Iris' hand gently. "But you tried. And that's more than most people would have done in a place like this."

"Christopher would have."

"No, Christopher would have tackled me off that scorpion before it could get me in the first place. He wouldn't have had the first clue what to do after that." Kasia sighed and closed her eyes, before opening them and smiling gently. "And anyway, he's not here. You are. And you tried."

Iris didn't know what to say, so she didn't say anything. She just sat there and held Kasia's hand, watching the rise and fall of her chest, the rattling sound she made when she breathed. Iris knew that sound was the acid working its way into Kasia's small body.

"What's your favourite colour?" Kasia asked.

Iris blinked, surprised. She hadn't been expecting the question. "What? Why?"

"Just tell me."

"Oh. I'm not sure." Iris frowned. She'd never really thought about it. There wasn't a lot of colour in District Six. The streets were grey, the apartments were grey, the sky was grey. Everything was grey, grey, grey. She closed her eyes, thinking of her mother. Her mother hadn't been grey. "Purple." She'd never thought about it before, but she knew it was true when she said it.

"Why?" Kasia asked.

She sounded genuinely interested. That wasn't something Iris was used to. Her mom used to ask her questions like that, questions that made her have to think, and she expected reasons, too. Iris smiled, knowing that she didn't have to think of the reason why. "It reminds me of my mom. She loved purple. That's why she named me Iris. Now I guess I like it because she liked it."

"Is she…?"

Iris heard the slight awkwardness in Kasia's voice. The kind of tone someone had in their voice when they wanted the answer without having to ask that difficult, nasty question. Iris knew that tone well. "Yeah."

"Sorry."

"Don't. It happens," Iris said, and smiled, because sometimes it seemed like there wasn't anyone except herself and Jordie left in the world who cared that her mom was dead. No-one said they were sorry about it, no-one stopped to think about her once she was gone, and no-one cared enough to even ask. It was a nice feeling, knowing that Kasia cared enough to ask.

"Yeah," Kasia replied, and smiled for what Iris knew was a completely different reason. "It does."

"What's yours?" Iris asked, now curious. For whatever reason, Kasia reminded her of the colour green.

"Orange," Kasia said.

The answer surprised Iris. She wasn't exactly sure why, but she hadn't expected her to say orange. "Why?"

"Not sure," said Kasia with a shrug. "I've just always liked it. I could be all sentimental and say it reminds me of sunsets or some sappy shit like that, but I'm not going to lie to you."

Iris nodded. "Good."

Kasia took a deep breath, and smiled at her. There had been a lot of smiles that day, which seemed ironic given the circumstances, given that Chrisopher was dead and Kasia was dying and soon it would just be Iris. "Iris, I'm going to kill myself."

"I know." Iris wasn't sure why that didn't surprise her. Maybe because she and Kasia were so alike. She knew that if their roles were reversed, if she were dying a slow death, acid burning her away from the inside out, she would want to make it quick and do it on her own terms.

"I just can't… this can't be long. I don't want them to watch me wither away in pain. I want to die while I can still be… you know?"

Iris understood. "Yeah." She wouldn't want the Capitol to get a single extra second out of her death than they could. A single extra second of extortion, exploitation, entertainment. A sudden fury gripped at Iris' chest, and she clenched her fists into the sand.

"When I'm gone, you're going to get everything you need from here, and you're going to leave. You're going to make yourself a flail and even if you don't do that you're going to win."

"I-" Iris began, although she wasn't sure what she wanted to say.

"It's rude to interrupt a dying person, thank you very much." Kasia grinned. It was the kind of grin that Kasia's family and friends must have known well. It crinkled up her eyes and her nose, and made her eyes sparkle. "Anyway. You're going to go home." She started to cough again, blood soaking through her sleeve when she covered her mouth. "I have to do it soon."

"Do you want me to stay?"

"I couldn't ask you to do something like that."

"Shut up," Iris said, scowling. "Do you want me to stay?"

Kasia closed her eyes. "I know I said I wasn't scared, but… I think I am." Her lip trembled, and she took a deep breath. Iris could tell that she was trying not to cry. That she didn't want to admit to herself just how scared she was.

Iris touched her gently on the arm. "I'll stay."

"Thank you." Kasia's eyes flickered open. They were hazel. Iris hadn't noticed that before. They were a deep brown on the outside, getting greener and greener the closer they got to the pupil. The greenest part of Kasia's eyes looked like leaves, and the darkest part looked like chocolate. They suited her.

"You'd do the same for me, right?" Iris said.

"Yeah," Kasia said, and Iris knew that she meant it.

"Kasia I... I think it was my fault that you swallowed the venom. Before I knew the scorpion blood helped, I poured water on your cheek. It went down your throat. It was my fault."

"Don't be stupid."

"What?"

"I said, don't be stupid. It's not your fault I'm dying. You can't blame yourself." Kasia's face contorted in rage. "You're not the one who should be feeling guilty here." Iris knew, without Kasia having to say it, that she blamed the Gamemakers. The Capitol. "You're the one who tried to save me."

"Thank you." Iris hadn't realised how much it had been weighing on her, but having Kasia absolve her of her guilt was a relief she hadn't known she needed.

"Can't let you mull that one over for the rest of your life," Kasia said. "It's not your fault. Don't let yourself think that." Kasia paused for a second, looking down at the ground and then back up at Iris again. "I'm going to do it here. I want to - I don't know. I've never thought about how to kill myself before." She sighed. "I guess a knife will do."

"Can you stand?" Iris asked. She didn't want to choose a knife for Kasia to kill herself with. The whole point was for Kasia to do it on her own terms - surely she should choose her own knife, as well.

"Yeah," Kasia said. Iris helped her up, gripping her elbow. "I can walk, too. Lucky for me, my legs still work, yay! Unfortunate that there's acid in my lungs, though."

"I guess we can't have it all," Iris said sardonically, and Kasia grinned at her again. Iris knew she was getting a glimpse of what Kasia must have been like, before being reaped. Her sarcastic sense of humour, her determination, her grin.

"No, I guess not," Kasia said, and there was that grin again. "We would've been friends, you know. If we were from the same place."

"Yeah, I know."

Kasia led the way over to the weapon piles. She rummaged through it, selecting a plain iron dagger with a wooden handle. "This should do the trick. I don't need anything fancy for them to display in a museum or whatever. This is just a nice, simple, boring, run of the mill dagger. Perfect."

Iris felt awkward. She wasn't sure how to act around someone who was about to take their own life. It had been a very strange day. "Do you want to… wait and watch the sunset, or the stars or something?"

Kasia smiled. "No. I want this done sooner rather than later. I'm not one to be sentimental. And the longer I wait, the more pain I'm going to be in, and the less likely I'm going to be able to carry this out by myself. So no. I'll do it here. I'll do it now. A nice, non-dramatic death."

"Apart from the acid and the whole burning to death from the inside out thing." It felt strange to make dark jokes with a person who was about to be dead.

Kasia laughed. "Yeah, apart from that." Although, Kasia was the kind of person to laugh at those jokes, so maybe that made it okay.

"You know," Iris remarked, "for someone who's about to die, you seem really happy."

"I'm not happy, exactly. I know this is going to suck, and my family's going to be sad, and you're probably going to blame yourself because you're a good person. So I'm not happy. I just feel… free, I guess. I thought I would die a horrible death at the hands and blades of the Careers. I'm glad it's not going to be like that. I'm glad I get to make the choice. And I'm glad that I get to be the one, you know?"

Iris did know. "Yeah. I think I would feel the same."

Kasia smiled, and took a deep breath. She winced at the action, reminding Iris just how much pain she was in, reminding Iris again why she had to do this now. Iris wished she didn't understand, wished that she could convince Kasia to at least try to live, wished that she didn't have to know that Kasia wouldn't let herself be convinced. Her mom would have told her not to wish her life away, but Iris couldn't help but wish that things were different.

"I'm ready to go," Kasia said softly, taking Iris' hand. "Will you sit with me?"

"Until the end," Iris replied. They stepped outside. The sun hadn't fully risen yet, so it didn't hurt to look up. The sky was a deep, cornflower blue. It looked bluer than Iris had ever seen it.

They sat on the sand, their backs leaning against the ship. Kasia ran her hands through the sand, letting it fall between her fingers. She tilted her face up to the sky, basking in the warm morning sun.

She gripped the dagger with both hands. Took a deep breath in. Plunged it deep into her own heart. Iris tried not to listen to the noise, as the blade sunk through Kasia's chest.

Her hands fell away and Iris caught them, squeezed them gently. Kasia squeezed back once and smiled, closing her eyes with the sun on her face.

The cannon was loud.

Iris cried.

This one hurt a bit to write.