Chapter Forty
Who I Am
News spread fast the next morning (mostly because everyone had been told about Tommy's intention by the boys before the trip) so when we walked in for breakfast, confetti poppers exploded around us. There were hugs, congratulations, and tears as everyone celebrated our big news. It felt surreal to be talking about getting married to Tommy but every time I looked at that ring on my finger, it felt like it was a piece of a puzzle I had lost long ago. And every time he looked at me, I knew that it was the path destiny had chosen for us. Everyone packed up and we headed back to Angel Grove shortly after that.
The next two weeks were filled with Shayna and I running around like chickens with our heads cut off in order to get everything ready for the DC show. Since all of my focus was on that, Tommy and I had agreed to keep our engagement announcement to just our friends. I wanted to tell my mother myself and I knew that once word got out, we would be all over the tabloids yet again. I was glad it was for a good reason this time but for once, I wanted some control over what the media knew about us. So, I made sure to keep my ring tucked away when I was outside of the house or to have it on the other hand just in case a stray camera was in the area. Shayna and I had meetings with realtors as well, trying to find a good location for the studio to open up shop. We managed to find one in Pasadena, making it a good distance from not only Angel Grove but also LA that made it still accessible for talent and employees. They would be open to setting up everything for construction to start at the beginning of January.
It seemed like everything was going a mile a minute to the point it felt like I blinked and woke up the morning we needed to head out to DC. The boys and Tommy were upstairs getting their things packed when the doorbell rang. Walking over, I saw through the peephole that it was Trini and Jason standing there. I opened the door, Jason holding up a bottle of champagne in his hand. "You guys! You didn't have to!" I said, stepping aside to let them in.
"Sure we did!" Trini exclaimed, hugging me. "We feel awful being the only ones not going."
"You have a very valid reason though," I said, putting a hand on her belly. She was due next week, the bouncing baby causing some pain for its Mommy now. She was still glowing though and Trini was beautiful when she was pregnant.
"Are you guys all packed and ready to go?" Jason asked. I scoffed.
"Have you gone anywhere with Tommy? Times that by three." I replied. Jason laughed, nodding.
"I'll see what I can offer as assistance." He headed up the stairs where I could hear some attitude coming from Ethan's room.
"You sure you're up to mother all of that?" Trini teased, nudging my arm.
"I know. I keep telling them that I could be the stepmom who sends them away to boarding school. I think Ethan would enjoy that too much though." I gestured to the couch, helping her sit down. "How are you feeling?"
"Terrified." She laughed, putting her hands on her stomach. "I'm not sure if it's the thought of the delivery or having a small human being rely on me for living that's the scarier part of the process."
"You're going to be a wonderful mom, Trini."
"I hope so. So are you." She put a hand over mine. "Those boys are lucky to have you. And they are just as crazy about you as their father is." I glanced up at the ceiling where their rooms were.
"I love them like they're already mine. It's scary." I whispered. "I don't want them to think I'm trying to replace their Mom or Kat. I just want them to know I want to be there for them."
"Things between Kat and the boys weren't like they are with you. Kat was supportive in a way of letting them stay here and doing what she could between work and her being sick. The boys didn't get much of a chance to grow a bond like they do with you."
"I'm just worried this is too quick for them. For us."
"Too quick?" She said, raising an eyebrow at me. "This has been a long time coming since we were like 15."
"I know but…"
"With everything that's happened, it almost feels too good to be true?" She asked softly. I nodded. "Kim, Tommy wouldn't have asked you to marry him if he wasn't certain this is what he wanted. And you wouldn't have said yes if this wasn't what you wanted. You have to let yourself live in the now and not the what-ifs. You're getting married, looking to buy a house together, build this family. You have an amazing career. This is actually all happening. Allow yourself to enjoy it."
"I think I will," I said softly, feeling tears fill my eyes. "God, I can't believe you're gonna have a baby."
"I can't wait to be able to see my toes again." She laughed, tears in her own eyes. "I'm ready for all of this to be done and over with so that I can have full functioning of my body again."
"I can understand that. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call. We're only a couple blocks away."
"Oh, don't offer that to me. I'll have to take you up on it." She grinned, shifting to stand up. "We should get going. I know you have a flight to take."
"Let me help." I held my hand out to her and helped her to her feet. She grimaced, holding her belly.
"Thanks. I can't wait for these Braxton Hicks to be done with too. They are driving me insane."
"Are they painful?" I asked as we walked towards the door.
"Not usually. This one is though. Probably my body protesting leaving the house so much lately." She grimaced again, this time a gasp following her.
"Trini? What's the matter?" I asked, turning to face her. I saw she was looking down at the floor between her feet. There was now a puddle there on the hardwood floor.
"I think my water just broke." She breathed, covering her mouth with her hand.
"What? Oh! OH!" I said, reality taking a minute to gather in my brain. "Jason. We need Jason." I said, mostly to myself under my breath. "Jason! JASON!" I screamed up the stairs. The sound of several pairs of feet came down the hallway and thundered down the stairs as Jason appeared, alarm on his face.
"What's the matter?" He asked, looking between the two of us. Tommy was right behind him, Ethan and Xander on their tails. As the four of them came off the stairs, Xander stepped and slid right through the bodily fluids that had come out of Trini. He fell to the floor, landing on his back. I grabbed Trini's hands, making sure Xander didn't knock her over.
"Ugh! Why is the floor all wet?" He asked, sitting up. His shirt was soaked and I could see there was a yellow tint to it.
"Her water broke!" I exclaimed, pointing at the floor.
"Gross!" Ethan said, grimacing towards his brother. The color of Jason's face paled slightly as he made no movement.
"Dude, this is not the time to panic." Tommy said, grabbing Jason's shoulders and giving him a good shake. Jason nodded, coming back into focus.
"We gotta get her to the hospital." I said, moving to walk with her out the front door. Jason ran out, heading towards the street to get the truck going for Trini. She pulled me back though, grimacing through the pain.
"No. You need to get that one changed," she said, nodding towards Xander. "And then get your butts on a plane to DC."
"I can't leave and focus on that right now when you're about to have a baby!" She smiled at me, taking my hands.
"Yes, you can. The show must go on, right? Besides, Jason will be right there with me to coach me through it. I'll make sure he keeps Tommy and Billy up to date on everything. This is a big chance for you and you aren't missing it for me." I looked at her, unsure if she was right. I didn't want to just run off to DC with her in labor. What if something happened? What if Jason needed one of us? "Kim, we're gonna be okay." She said, squeezing my hands.
"Okay. But please make sure you check-in." I said, not confident in my choice.
"I will." Jason came running back in and I helped walk her to the truck, Tommy following with Billy on the phone.
"Billy said that the freeway is clear right now. Take that and get off at the hospital exit." Tommy said, assisting Trini into the truck with Jason. They shut the door and she rolled down the window. I grabbed her hand, holding it to my cheek.
"Looks like it's my time to shine." She smiled. "I'll be watching the special too. Break a leg."
"You too." I gave her a quick hug before Jason sped out of the driveway and towards the highway.
We didn't have long to sit around and wonder about the baby. After getting everything else packed (and Xander changed), Frank helped us all load into an 18-passenger van he had rented to make sure everyone made it to the airport on time. Originally, we were going to be going first and then all of our friends were going to be coming down tomorrow in time for the show. But at the last minute, Shayna was able to arrange it for everyone to go together on the company jet. It made things so much easier than trying to scramble for everyone to get together before the show. So, after we were loaded up, it was off to Billy's to pick him, Shayna, Rocky, Aisha, Adam, and Zack up. They all agreed to meet there to make it easier for poor Frank.
My thoughts and our conversations were on Trini and the baby while we headed to the airport. We made it through security with ease and loaded up into the private plane. The boys looked around like they were in a museum while we got situated in our seats. I looked out the window, hoping that Trini and Jason were settled into a hospital room by now. Tommy grabbed my hand in his and gave it a soft squeeze, causing me to look over at him.
"Trini is going to be fine." He said, giving me a small smile. "She is one of the strongest women I know. She's going to crush it."
"I still feel guilty," I said softly.
"I know. And I know there's nothing I can say to change that. It's who you are." He kissed the back of my hand. "But, just remember she told you to go and that she is going to be watching on TV. We will give them a call when we land to see how things are going. Jason has his cell."
"I'd like that." I squeezed his hand back. "Thank you for being my rock most days."
"Anytime, Beautiful."
The plane took off and we headed to DC. Billy, Shayna, and the boys broke out a board game while everyone else mingled. I read a few chapters of a new book I had brought with me while Tommy chatted with Adam in the seat next to me. The flight was clear without a touch of turbulence, ensuring that we made it on time when the wheels touched down a little after 12 pm in DC.
"It's fucking freezing here," Rocky mumbled under his breath as we started climbing out of the plane and onto the tarmac. He was right about the temperature. While it had been almost 80 in sunny California, here in DC it was about 40 degrees. There was moisture in the air and I wasn't sure if it was trying to rain or snow. Tommy and I had planned for this though, making sure we both brought jackets and that the boys did too. I zipped mine up as I followed our group towards the waiting van that would be taking us to our hotel. Shayna was doing a great job in making sure we were all staying together, keeping a low profile, and that the boys and I were kept in the middle of everyone to help cover who I was.
At the hotel, everyone checked into their rooms. Shayna worked her magic yet again and secured one-half of a whole floor to make it easier for security to keep an eye on things. There were a set of double doors at the end of the hallway that the hotel allowed them to keep closed and Frank stationed Rob, the security guard, at the doors. Aisha and Rocky were in the first room, Billy and Shayna across from them. Zack and Adam had the two rooms next followed by Tommy and me in one with Xander and Ethan across from us. There was only one way into the hallway and that was through Rob. There were two more rooms down here, one for the band when they arrived later today and one for Frank.
The rest of my afternoon consisted of helping Tommy unpack and then heading with Shayna over to the Anthem Theatre for rehearsals. The rest of our group would be going sightseeing while I warmed up and practiced the rundown of everything. Since this wasn't going to be like a normal concert, I felt nervousness begin to form in the pit of my stomach as Shayna led me through the backstage area and onto the stage itself. Tech guys and stage handlers were busy getting it set up for tomorrow night. A winter wonderland was starting to come together, Christmas trees that were white with red and silver bulbs lined the stage, and a red carpet was being put down with a white grand piano on the left side of the stage. There was a raised platform for the band to perform as well as an area where a choir would be joining me for a song. As I stood there looking at it, I suddenly wished we had practiced more or prepared for this while we were finishing up the tour. Everything with that damn stalker had prevented that from happening though.
"You're worrying." Shayna said, looking at the clipboard in her hands. I glanced over at her, seeing her check something off.
"I am not."
"I could tell the moment we landed. Is it going on live TV or is it Trini?"
"Both." I breathed, crossing my arms over my chest. We had tried calling Jason when we landed but it went to voicemail. Billy did call the hospital and they told him that she was still in labor. I hoped that meant everything was going alright.
"Kim, everything is going to go smoothly here. And if it doesn't? Oh well. You are going to kill it out here and help bring in that Christmas joy for all your fans. Trini and Jason are going to have a beautiful baby and you will be home to see it by this time Sunday. Well, as long as the baby decides to grace the world with its presence by then."
"Is the band here yet? I'd like to practice." I said, avoiding everything she was saying. I needed to not think about that stuff and focus on what I could control.
"They are about an hour out. But, we can get you set up with learning how to follow the teleprompter and then going through the rundown of the show."
For the next hour, we went through a rough rehearsal of the show. I read from the prompter, did my best to follow the foot placement cues on the floor, and went through the song lineup. Since it was a Christmas-themed event, only my original Christmas song would be performed and it would be the last song of the night. They were going to have a bunch of kids come up on stage for that one to join along and Shayna said she would work it so that Xander and Ethan were part of the group. When the band arrived, we ran through a couple of the songs to get a good sound check. They would revisit the levels the next day but this helped them get things going smoother. It felt better to have Jack, Tony, and Tristan there because it felt more like a normal concert than it did something like this. There were tons of cameras set up everywhere and I could see where they were sectioning places off in the audience for certain people. The president and his wife would be attending with their daughters, a special area set up in the balcony section where they would be able to watch safely with Secret Services standing by.
It was heading into the evening when we finally called it a day. Frank escorted Shayna and me back to the hotel since the band still had more tuning and rehearsals to do for their portions of the show. I couldn't wait to lie down and relax, my feet killing me from everything we did today. Unlike when I'm on the road, I would be wearing high heels tomorrow for the whole thing. I couldn't wait to see how that would feel at the end of the night. However, when we arrived back at the hotel, Frank escorted the two of us towards the business suite on the first floor rather than our rooms.
"What's going on?" I asked, confused as he stopped outside the door.
"Just a little surprise." He replied, smiling at me. He held the door open for me and slowly, I stepped in. Everyone was standing in the little room meant for people to be able to do their work while on the road. Several computers and printers were in there. It was a tight fight with everyone in here. Tommy walked towards me, smiling as he gave me a quick kiss.
"Hey. What's up?" I asked.
"I have someone who wants to see you." He replied. He nodded at Billy who nodded, stepping to the side. Behind him was a computer and on the monitor, I saw that Skype was open. I stepped closer and saw that on the screen, there was a smaller version of Trini and Jason sitting on a bed together in the hospital. And in her arms, there was a bundle of blankets.
"Oh my god!" I exclaimed, rushing forward. Billy slid a chair towards me, allowing me to sit in front of the desk.
"Hey, rock star," Trini said softly.
"Hello, yourself," I said. "How are you? Are you okay?" She looked tired but her face was bright when she smiled.
"I'm good. Everything went pretty quickly actually. We have someone we want you to meet." She moved the blankets, revealing a small little baby in her hands. "This is Andrew David Scott."
"It's a boy." I whispered, tears filling up my eyes as I covered my mouth with my hands. "God, he's beautiful guys." The baby was sound asleep, with thick black hair on his little head. I could see a perfect blend of both of their features from her almond-shaped eyes to Jason's fuller lips. He was a tiny, squishy representation of the both of them that mixed so well together.
"He wanted to make sure he was here in time for Aunt Kim's show," Jason said, carefully cradling Trini in one arm and Andrew's head in his other hand.
"I can't believe he's here. I am so happy for both of you. When did you have him?"
"About three hours ago. The hospital was kind enough to set us up with a Skype call so everyone could see him."
"I bet your parents are so thrilled about this." I smiled, dabbing at my tears with the sleeve of my jacket.
"They haven't seen him yet." Trini replied.
"Which means this call never happened. Otherwise, we'd never hear the end of it." Jason said, pointing at the screen. Everyone laughed around me. Xander stuck his head between Tommy and me to look at the screen better.
"Does this mean everyone will stop treating me like the baby now finally?" He asked.
"Nope." Rocky said, putting Xander in a light headlock. "Just means we have two of you to pick on."
"Terrfic." Xander muttered, rolling his eyes. I looked at him and then around the room, surrounded by all the important people in my life. A year ago, I never imagined that this could be a possibility. They were people that I used to know and thought of often. But now here we all were together again, our lives mingling together like it never happened. As if I was never gone.
"The nurse said our time was up, guys." Trini said, giving an apologetic smile. "I wish we could talk longer but I have to meet with the lactation consultant."
"It was a great surprise to see you. We will be sure to see you when we get back as long as you're feeling up to it." I said.
"We better be your first stop." She replied. "Break a leg tomorrow! We will be watching from right here."
"Better get a shout-out." Jason grinned. I rolled my eyes.
"Yeah, yeah. Bye, guys." The call hung up and a murmur started around the room. I turned to Tommy and stood up, hugging him tightly.
"What's this for?" He asked, holding me close.
"Just wanted to make sure this happiness was real," I replied, leaning my head on his shoulder. "If I can touch it, I know it is." He pulled away slightly, gathering my face in his hands.
"I promise it's real. If it's a dream, I'll promise to never wake you up from it."
My feet touched the floor the next morning and we were off and running. We had another round of rehearsing, this time with the band and the choir both there. I sang all the songs, did all the movements as needed, and read through the script. We did this three times before I finally felt confident in my ability to host this whole shindig. I asked for another time but Shayna informed me that I was needed in the dressing room. I bid the boys of the band farewell before she whisked me away to the backstage area.
Trini and Jason called me on my cell while I was getting my hair done. Both wished me luck one more time before letting me listen to the baby crying for his mommy. I had to go before I cried again, death glares coming from my makeup artist who had applied it once already. I was still on cloud 9 at the thought that Trini and Jason were now parents and that I would have a baby to spoil. My mind wandered as I sat in the makeup chair, thinking what it would be like if Tommy and I ended up with our own baby together. Sure, he had the boys and I love them like my own but a baby of our own felt like it would be the last piece of this dream that was forming around us. And with more flexibility in my contract, it could very well be something plausible if Tommy was interested in that idea.
Thoughts of babies and the future left my brain as Shayna came rolling in with my wardrobe for the night. I had two outfits that I would be switching into, the first being a forest green cocktail dress with shiny beading around the waist. The second one was probably the prettiest dress I had ever seen before in my life. It was similar to that of a wedding dress, a large ballgown that poofed out from the waist and flowed to the floor. It was a bright red, off the shoulder cuffs supporting it. I couldn't wait until the halfway point when I'd be crammed inside of it but for now, I slid into the green dress and the silver heels that went with it.
"Alright, boys!" Shayna said, ushering the band into the dressing room next. Unlike our normal concerts, they were being made to dress up as well. They didn't look too impressed as they shuffled into the room, Tristan bringing up the rear. "I don't care who goes first. I just need your three butts with some makeup on and your suits in the next half an hour."
"Maekup? Ugh." Tony said, frowning as he was ushered into the seat first.
"I do not want shiny faces on national live TV in front of the president," Shayna said, handing the suits to the other members of the band. "Kim, once you're ready to go, we can head out for a final walk-through before the curtain goes up."
"Give me a second to get my jewelry on." I replied. Shayna gave me a thumbs up before heading back out of the room, chirping into her headset.
"You look beautiful," Tristan said, stepping towards me. "You excited about tonight?"
"Excited…terrified. Same thing, right?" I laughed, sliding in my hoop earrings. "Can't believe we're here."
"You've earned this and so much more, Kim. You're in the big leagues now."
"Really starting to feel like it now too." I moved to put my diamond necklace on that matched the earrings.
"Let me help." He offered. I nodded, handing it to him. He set his suit down and moved behind me to put it on while I held up my now-curled hair.
"It's crazy to think that a couple of years ago, I was trying to make ends meet by playing at bars or selling my songs. I was so broke and lonely. I didn't know how I was going to make it another month. Now, I'm here after a sold-out tour with everyone I love to support me." I heard the necklace clasp and Tristan put his hand on my shoulder. I let my hair fall and he turned me to face him.
"You are glowing with happiness and I'm glad to see you this way. This is everything you've worked for and more. I'm happy for you and everything you've achieved."
"I honestly owe it all to you," I said, smiling up at him. "You and the guys playing with me every night helped get me here. And I wouldn't be this happy with everything else if it wasn't for you and the advice you gave me about fighting for Tommy."
"How are things going? I haven't had the chance to ask you since that night with the bus."
"Kim!" Shayna called, appearing in the doorway. "We gotta get moving."
"Right." I said, sighing. I glanced at Tristan again. "We will have to catch up! I want to tell you everything and hear about your girlfriend."
"Of course." He smiled, giving me a quick hug before Shayna whisked me out of the room.
"Everything is set up. We're on in about thirty minutes." She said as we walked up the hall to the back of the stage. People were running around, getting last-minute things done. She held out her hand and gave me an earpiece. "Sound checks were good from earlier so we are good there. For now, you'll just hang out in the green room until we are set."
"Is everyone here?" I asked as we walked across the stage that was now perfectly set up and decorated. She kept walking until we were heading to the green room area.
"See for yourself." She smirked, opening the door. We walked in and I saw that everyone who had come to DC was standing in here. Rocky, Adam, and Zack were over in the bar area of the green room with Xander and Ethan exploring the food options on the other side. Tommy and Billy were chatting with Aisha when we entered. All the guys and the boys were dressed in tuxes while Aisha wore a stunning orange colored cocktail dress, her braids up on the top of her head.
"Look at you, girl!" She said, smiling when she saw me. "You look stunning."
"Aw, thank you!" I said, giving her a hug. Everyone walked over and I gave hugs to everyone, leaving Tommy and the boys last.
"Are we really going on stage?" Xander asked when I faced the three of them. I nodded.
"Yup. Shayna pulled some strings for the final number." His face lit up.
"This is going to be awesome." He beamed.
"Ask your brother what it's like. He knows all about it." I said, smirking at Ethan as I remembered that first concert they had come to. His ears tinged pink and I turned to face Tommy to hide my giggle. He had gelled his long hair back into a ponytail that curled down his shoulders. He seemed taller and more built in the tux, a dashing version of the man I loved with my entire existence standing in front of me.
"Seems impossible that you're more beautiful every time my eyes land on you." He said, giving me a kiss.
"Gross." I heard Xander say before him and Ethan walked away. Tommy and I laughed, his arms wrapping around me.
"They'll get used to it someday," I said. "You look very handsome."
"I try my best." He said, shrugging. "How are you feeling?"
"Honestly, I was more terrified before coming down here. Seeing you all here, I feel ready. I'm so glad you're here especially. I never could have done any of this if I didn't have you here, believing in me every step of the way."
"Forever." He whispered, kissing me again. He ran a finger over my cheekbone sending a warm shiver up my spine. "I can't wait to see what present I have to unwrap after the show tonight." He said in a tone only I could hear.
"Oh, I like the sound of that." I grinned.
"Alright, lovebirds," Shayna called out, interrupting us. "It's showtime!"