Chapter Forty-One
Forever and For Always
In the nose, out the mouth.
In the nose, out the mouth.
In the nose, out the mouth.
It was a breathing technique that we were taught when I was training in Florida for the Olympics to help control a rapid heart rate. I closed my eyes and repeated the action, trying to focus on the opening lines of the script rather than the millions of people who would be watching if I messed up. The ear piece was firmly nestled into my right ear, instructions from Shayna coming over it every now and then. I had one minute until the curtain went up and I was to walk out on stage. All the nervousness of my first concerts came to mind but I pushed it out of my brain the best I could as muffled talking followed my applause carried through the air.
"You're cue." Shayna said in my ear. Nodding to myself, I walked forward through the darkness of the backstage curtains until I stepped out into the nearly blinding light of the stage under all the lights. A smile filled my features as I walked out, my eyes scanning the crowd as I headed toward the middle of the stage where the white microphone was waiting for me.
I was almost there when I made it to the part of the stage where the black floor met the red carpet and my heel decided to give out from under me, sending me crashing to the ground. I managed to catch myself on my hands and knees before my face could snack off the floor in front of millions of people.
Only fucking me.
Quickly, I pushed myself up and back to walking towards the mike in the most natural fashion I could muster. There was nervous energy around the room as I reached the microphone.
"Only on live TV, right?" I asked, giggling. The room erupted into laughter as I felt all the nervousness wash off of me. I signaled to the band to go into the first song, Holly Jolly Christmas. I sang, moving to the cues as we practiced. In the crowd, people danced and sang along. All around me, cameras moved on tracks, and with the help of cameramen they tried to get the best shots. From my spot on stage, I could see Tommy, Xander, and Ethan sitting with all of my friends in the front row in the middle of the room. I shot Tommy a wink as the song ended, and he applauded with everyone else.
"Good save, kid." Shayna said in my ear. "Let's stay on our feet the rest of the night, shall we?"
"Hey, y'all! My name is Kimberly and it's my honor to welcome you here tonight. Christmas is a time of togetherness and love and I'm grateful to be able to spend tonight with all of you here and all of you watching at home. Tonight, I invite you to sit back, enjoy some Christmas classics, rock around your Christmas trees at home, and help us raise money for the National Toys for Tots campaign." The audience clapped as the logo for the charity appeared on the screen behind me. "Each dollar we raise helps Toys for Tots to fund toy drives, and meal programs, and provide holiday cheers for families all across America. On the bottom of your screen is the number to call and donate. This year, we are also collection monetary donations through our website as well, . I hope y'all stick around because we have some surprises in store for you tonight." I stepped back and heard the overhead announcer talk about what was coming up next after the commercial break in my ear.
"You're good for 90 seconds," Shayna said in my ear. Stage hands ran out and moved the microphone over towards the piano while Tristan came closer as well.
"You're killin' it." He said, smiling at me.
"I sure hope so." I replied, taking a deep breath. "PRetty sure I have rug burn on my knees from my graceful landing."
"Eh. Nothing some aloe and alcohol can't cure. We're all getting drinks tonight after the show at the hotel lobby to celebrate. I already told your friends so no excuses." I smiled.
"Sounds like fun."
"You're back in five, four, three, two…" Shayna's voice trailed off as the show went live again.
The next half an hour of the show went along without any issues. We had some special guests including Kenny Rogers, Sugarland, Trace Atkins, and Toby Keith who all were under the same label as me and were contractually obligated to show up for one appearance a year (or so Shayna might have gossiped to me backstage.) Everyone appeared to be having a great time and the total on the screen from calls coming in kept climbing up. It was wholesome to see and warmed my heart to know so many people were helping raise money to give some kids a good Christmas.
"Last two songs." Shayna said in my ear as the last guest, Chris Cagle, was finishing his version of Jingle Bell Rock on stage. The wardrobe person helped me change into the second dress and fixed my hair to ensure it still looked good. "We're back from commercial in 60 seconds."
"Whew. Almost done." I said, adjusting my ear piece.
"You're doing a great job. They might even ask you back next year." Shayna stated.
"Let's not count our six geese laying before their eggs hatch, shall we?" I laughed. Another stagehand appeared, leading me back out to the stage where the microphone was set up near the piano. Tristan was sitting at it, giving me a smile as I approached. I returned it before turning my eyes out towards the crowd. Naturally, they turned to Tommy who was beaming up at me from his seat. I thought about our last Christmas together when we were kids, hoping to make it last forever before we even knew better of what was to come. I twirled my engagement ring on my finger, the gem hidden in my palm like normal. We had fought so long to be where we were, climbing out of the shadows where we had hidden our feelings to get here together. It was at that moment that I decided I was done hiding it.
"We're on." Shayna said in my ear. I nodded, smiling before stepping up the to mic.
"Welcome back! We've had a great time performing for you tonight. We're not done yet. This next song is an important one to me as it's a song that I've song many times before to help me deal with being alone at Christmas time."
"You're going off script," Shayna said in my ear, a slight tone of panic in her voice as I ignored what was written on the teleprompter in front of me.
"I spent a lot of Christmases far from home and not with the people I love. It takes a lot to realize that there's only one place you truly want to be and that you can call home. And sometimes, that place isn't a place at all. It's a person." Using my thumb, I turned my ring over so that it was facing out like it was meant to be proudly on display to the world. "I was blessed to be able to find that person again in my life, along with my family. This next song, I'd like to dedicate to not only my friends and my family that are here tonight but most importantly to my fiance." The crowd let out a little gasp of surprise before clapping loudly. I smiled over at Tommy who turned slightly red but was smiling brightly at me. "This one's for you, handsome," I whispered. I nodded over at Tristan who looked equally surprised at my announcement but quickly recovered, beginning to play the melody of the song.
"I'm dreaming tonight of a place I love
Even more than I usually do
And although I know it's a long road back
I promise you
I'll be home for Christmas
You can count on me
Please have snow and mistletoe
And presents under the tree
Christmas Eve will find me
Where the love light gleams
I'll be home for Christmas
If only in my dreams
I'll be home for Christmas (I'll be home for Christmas)
You can count on me (you can count on me)
Please have snow (have snow) and mistletoe (yeah)
And presents under the tree (under the tree)
Christmas Eve will find me
Where the love light gleams
I'll be home for Christmas
If only in my dreams
If only in my dreams."
As the song ended, the crowd clapped and stood to their feet. I gingerly wiped at the tears in my eyes as my gaze held Tommy's. He mouthed the words, 'I love you' to me which I returned. I loved this man with my entire being and the fact we would be together for every Christmas for the rest of our lives made me feel whole. I remembered that I was still on the air then, taking a deep breath for composure. Reaching over, I pulled the microphone off of the stand. Tristan quickly moved from the piano back over to his guitar.
"Thank you all so much! Tonight has been incredibly magical and full of holiday cheer. We've got one more song for you but we wanted to take a moment to thank everyone here and all of you at home who took their time to watch, call in donations, and log on to help Toys for Tots with their mission. Altogether, we were able to raise just over $250,000!" I exclaimed, amazed at the number that was on the prompter. "Together, you've all made it possible to provide joy and love to children for this holiday season. And speaking of children, I have some friends that I'd like to join me on stage for our last song." There was excited chatter as kids walked on stage from either side, coming to stand by me. Xander and Ethan were there as well as promised, Ethan doing his best to hide in the back while Xander beelined it right for my side. I grinned at him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.
"This is so much fun!" He whispered in an excited tone. I gave him a little squeeze.
"From all of us here, we want to wish you a Happy Holiday season and a Merry Christmas. Now, let's keep the party going!" The band went into the chords for my Christmas single. The boys and I sang the song together, helping the other kids stay on track with the lyrics and the melody. The choir came back out again, singing along for the chorus parts. The whole audience was on its feet by the end of it again, the cameras flying around like crazy to make sure each had the perfect shot for the end of the show. As the song came to an end, I hugged both of the boys before turning towards the cameras again. "Thank you, Washington! Good night!" The band continued to play as the show came to an end, the stage hands signaling that the cameras were off as the crowd in the room continued to calp and cheer.
"You boys did great!" I said, grabbing one of Xander's shoulders and one of Ethan's. "I like having you both on stage with me."
"That was so cool! Can we do it again sometime?" Xander asked.
"We sure can. MAybe when I'm back out on tour again next year." I replied. The curtain closed, cutting off the view of us from the audience. Instantly, stage handlers began to unplug and tear down the electrical parts of everything. Moments later, Shayna came walking towards us with our group behind her.
"A little warning we were going off script would have been nice." She teased, giving me a hug. "You did a terrific job tonight."
"Sorry. It kinda just happened." I replied sheepishly. She stepped to the side, allowing Aisha to give me a tight hug next.
"That was amazing! I love this dress even more." She said, looking me up and down. "I'm so proud of you! We're all so proud of you."
"I'm so glad you all could be here for it." I spoke, talking to all of them. Tommy walked over and wrapped an arm around my waist. "Especially you." I said softly, looking up at him. "I didn't mean to call you out like that on stage. I got a little lost in the moment when I saw you."
"No need to apologize. I've been ready to scream it from the roof tops since I decided to propose." He kissed my forehead. "I love you."
"I love you too."
"Don't know about you guys but I could use a drink." Shayna said, removing her headset. There was a collective nod and chuckle.
"Let me get changed and we can hit the road." I said, giving Tommy a quick kiss before heading off towards the makeup room. Inside, I found Tony, Tristan, and Jack finishing up getting changed from their suits.
"Great job, boys!" I said, smiling at them.
"Us? Please. That was all you." Jack said, giving me a hug. "And engaged?! Congrats!"
"Thank you. I really wanted to tell you guys a different way but I got caught up in the moment. There's a lot more to cover with everything but Shayna and I will get you guys all caught up." I sighed, smiling.
"Understandable. Congrats." Tony gave me a quick hug as well. "We're all happy for you. Tristan, we're gonna go check out the green room quick." Tony and Jack walked out, leaving the two of us. I glanced over at Tristan who was pulling on his jacket. He grinned at me when he saw me looking in his direction.
"I can see why you wanted to catch up now." He said, brushing the hair from his face.
"What can I say? I have awful timing on all things."
"Seems like quite the difference from the last time we discussed things with you and Tommy." He said, leaning against the door frame next to me. I nodded.
"He proposed when I went home after the tour. I was surprised to say the least. I've been so worried that it's too soon and how everyone will react. It just feels so right though."
"That's all that matters then. Who cares what other people will think? As long as the two of you are happy, that's all that should matter to you."
"Thank you. So, how are things with you and your girlfriend?" I questioned. He let out a little chuckle.
"Well, I finally listened to you about getting my own place. I bought a house in Nashville. I asked her to move in with me and she said yes."
"Tristan, that's fantastic!" I exclaimed, giving him a hug. "I'm so happy for you. I really can't wait to meet her either."
"I still can't see what she sees in me." He said, smiling as he looked at the floor. "She's perfect."
"Look at the pair of us, happy and in love. You deserve your happiness."
"You do too, Kim." He gave my arm a gentle squeeze. "I hope you and Tommy are happy together."
"I hope you two are as well. You'll have to show me the house! Oh! IF you need any furniture, let me know. With me moving back to California and only using my house for business stays down south, I am going to down size what I have there. You'll be doing me a huge favor taking whatever you might need."
"Thanks. We'll have to touch base after the holidays." He shifted, turning to head to the green room. "I'll see you back at the hotel."
"Yes! I'm excited. So much to celebrate."
"There sure is." With a grin, he was gone.
Back at the hotel, I discovered that Shayna had reserved the bar for our party to make it easier for Frank and Rob to keep everyone safe. We ate, drank, and listened to music over the sound system. The boys got tired before we did so they headed off to their room, Xander yawning as he wished everyone a good night. Rob went with them to guard the rooms while we spent more time together.
"Ma'am," Tommy said, standing up from the bar stool he was sitting in. "I believe this dance might be for us." He gestured to the speakers that began playing a version of I'll Be Home for Christmas. I stood as well, taking his hand as he led me over to a cleared spot of floor. Wrapping his arms around me, Tommy pulled me close before swaying to the music.
"Tonight felt like a fairytale," I whispered. "Honestly, the last few weeks have felt like one. Between the tour ending, using finally being together, planning on moving in together, and getting engaged. Seems like I might be making it all up in my head or something."
"We're back to thinking it's not real?" He asked, smirking at me.
"Let me live in my delusions, won't you?" I retorted, playfully glaring at him. "Can't blame a girl for being terrified of her life suddenly becoming perfect overnight."
"I think overnight is a bit of a stretch." He laughed. "But I know the feeling. Some days, I think if I let you go, you'll just vanish on me in thin air. When we're together and I can physically touch you, I know that you're here and safe in my arms."
"I mean…I don't mind staying right here but it might make work a little difficult." Tommy stopped, looking down at me.
"I'll just hold on to you as long as I can then."