"Case why are you crying?", Cappie walks into my half empty room, putting down the box he's carrying when he realizes I'm upset.
"She found a picture from freshman year when she was like a hundred pounds", Rebecca laughs slightly and I turn to glare at her. "Sorry, it's not funny".
"Just ignore me. I know I'm being crazy! The baby is making me like this", I whine.
"Hey you'll…", Cappie tries to think of something that will make me feel better. "You'll look like that again".
"Actually I'm pretty sure that your body takes a long, long time to go back to normal. Your best bet would be to have a c section, at least then your… downstairs wouldn't get ripped to shreds and have to bounce back", Rebecca says. "If it ever does".
Cappie gives her a glare then.
"Sorry", Rebecca gives us both an awkward smile. "I think motherhood is beautiful. I don't want to do it, but in theory it's beautiful".
Rebecca leaves the room then, leaving me with the rest of my boxes.
"Hey don't listen to Rebecca, who cares how long it takes to look normal again", Cappie shrugs.
I sigh and then smile at him.
"Thanks Cap. That uh, that isn't why I'm crying though", I say meekly.
He sits down beside me on the bed then, a confused look on his face.
I hand the photo to him.
It's of me and him in freshman year in his dorm room. I recognized it immediately, it was at the end of Christmas break when I'd come to visit Cappie in his dorm since he hadn't gone home for Christmas break even once these past 4 years.
It was just us that whole weekend in his dorm room. It was that weekend that I realized I was in trouble. That I'd actually fell in love for the first time. It was scary, exhilarating, and new.
"I didn't know you still had this", Cappie looks up at me.
"I didn't either but after we broke up…", I sigh. "I just couldn't bring myself to get rid of it. Not when it brought up so many feelings in me".
"That was a pretty great weekend", He grins at me.
I nod and wipe away a few of my tears. Normal me wouldn't be crying over this memory with Cappie but lately the hormones took hold of my emotions and I didn't get much of a say in it.
Cappie puts his hand on my back then.
"Why don't we frame it and put it in the apartment?", he suggests. "Then we can show our daughter how cool her parents were in college".
"Okay", I nod at him with a laugh. "I'd like that".
I get myself together then, sitting up straight.
"Well I've got to get back to it, don't I?", I say to my stomach. "We've gotta get the apartment ready for you when you decide to make your grand entrance".
Cappie smirks at me.
"Alright, Rusty and Dale are downstairs and Calvin and Evelyn are supposed to be here soon too", Cappie gives me a look and I scoff at his many pet names for Evan. "I got a lot of your boxes in the U Haul already".
"Thanks", I nod. "I have these light ones here that I'm gonna start taking down".
"Okay cool, that's it though, okay? Don't overdo it. There's enough people helping out that you don't have to even lift a finger if you don't want to", Cappie warns me.
I give him a look, my hands on my hips.
"Cap I'm still fully capable of a lot".
"Really? Because yesterday you had me do up your boots for you", Cappie laughs and I open my mouth, hands on my hips, my stance sassy.
"Well I didn't feel like bending over, alright? It was the least you could do"
"Hey I'm not complaining", Cap puts his hands up with a smirk on his face.
Ash walks to my room door then, knocking on the already open door.
"Hey guys!", She smiles.
"Hey Ash", I walk over to hug her.
"Whoa I can barely get close to you when we hug with your belly now Case!", Ash laughs, looking down at my stomach in surprise.
"I know, well I am just about 28 weeks now", I nod.
"What is she able to do now?", Ash asks excitedly. "I love hearing about the baby stuff".
"Well according to all the online sites now she can dream", I laugh. "And she can also blink. And get this, apparently she can stick her tongue out".
We giggle then.
"I can't wait to do the 3D ultrasound next week to see her face better, it's gonna be so cool", I grin.
"Oh my gosh! Show me the pictures right when you get them. I've gotta see her", Ash puckers her lip, finding this adorable.
"Then we can see who she looks more like", Cappie adds. "I'm hoping for a carbon copy of this one".
Cap gestures to me with a devilish grin and I give him a look.
"As long as she doesn't come out over 6 feet tall and scruffy I think we'll be fine", I laugh, gesturing to Cappie's most prominent attributes.
Ash laughs at that.
"Well look at the three of us growing up", Ash smiles. "All moved out of our houses now, it's like a new era".
"I know right", I frown, feeling emotional as it is today.
"Don't remind Casey, she's already cried once today", Cap laughs and Ash smiles.
"Well I just came up because Rusty told me he needed your help with something downstairs Cap", Ash says. "Something about him and Dale not being able to get the U Haul door open".
"Seriously?", Cap laughs.
"Yeah I know", Ash shakes her head. "I was gonna help but I didn't want to get in the middle of them fighting over which method of physics was best way to open the latch".
"No problem, I'll go see", Cappie smiles at us and then leaves out my door.
"Well you two seem good", Ashleigh smiles at me once Cappie's out of ear shot.
"We are", I nod, trying not to smile too big, not to let Ash in on how much time we'd been spending together lately.
"So you think it's gonna be okay living with him? You know with the whole you still being in love with him thing?"
"Well", I sigh. "We'll see. Me and Cappie haven't ever really been able to spend time together without our feelings coming up. But… he's keeping his room at KT until the end of the semester so if it gets awkward we don't have to spend every night together".
"And you're doing separate beds?", She gives me a look.
"Yep", I nod. "We're gonna be just like roommates. No different than Rusty and Dale".
I shrug, putting some more of my knick knacks into the cardboard box on my bed.
Ash gives me a judging look of course.
"Really?", She scoffs. "Because last time I checked Rusty and Dale weren't having sex".
I glare at her then, but I'm smiling slightly too.
"Okay fine… we're not just roommates. We'll just see how it goes", I say like it's no big deal. Even though truthfully I had been freaking out about it the whole last week.
I mean Cap had laid it out for me on the weekend the day we went shopping for the baby. If it was hard enough not to kiss him now, what would it be like when we're alone in our own space around each other the whole night?
"Whatever you say", Ash continues to give me a look, her smirk saying that she didn't believe me.
I didn't blame her. I wouldn't believe me either.
"Casey, I can pack up your clothes if you want. You know, because of my bad back I have to do lighter tasks", Dale smiles at me. "I can pack your lingerie extra delicately if you'd like".
"Dale don't talk about my sister and lingerie in the same sentence", Rusty whines, giving Dale a grossed out look.
"Yeah if anyone's gonna be touching Casey's bras it's me", Cappie says to Dale with a laugh.
We're in my room now and all of us are bringing down boxes.
"Thanks for offering, but there's no need, Dale. I packed up my clothes already. And that's… a little inappropriate anyway", I nod at him awkwardly.
I look at Cappie to share a look.
"I was just trying to be helpful, you KT heathens always turn everything into a sexual innuendo!", Dale complains. "I did Sheila's laundry for months before we even hooked up because she said she liked the way I folded her brassieres. I was just being neighbourly".
"Yeah I'm pretty sure she was just using you for free labor Dale", Rusty laughs and pats Dale on the back.
"You don't know our relationship Rusty! Sheila is a very complicated woman", Dale fires back and Rusty, Cappie and me all share a look, stifling our laughter in.
"Well you can do my laundry if you want to Dale", Cappie jokes.
"Get out of here Cap", Dale rolls his eyes.
"Hey we're all gonna be neighbours now", Rusty smiles. "We can do movie nights and… cross floor parties! And carpool".
"Yeah totally", I smile. "Although I probably only have two more months to do that until I'm fully consumed by the baby and then no more parties for me".
"Hey if she has any KT blood in her, she'll be up for a party straight out of the womb", Cappie jokes and we laugh.
"Oh I meant to tell you, I know how to swaddle if you guys need any tips", Dale comments.
"I'm not sure I want to know why… but thanks Dale", I laugh.
"I also know a lot about how to get an animal to latch onto a nipple", Dale adds.
"Okay, I draw the line at talking about the mother of my child's nipples", Cappie laughs and picks up a box and puts it into Dale's arms, Dale just about dropping it as the weight hits him. "Let's get back to work".
Me and Rusty share a smirk.
"Fine but if my back gets worse, my massage bill is getting sent to you Cap", Dale says to Cappie and then goes downstairs with a box of my shoes in his arms.
"Spitter, wanna help me with the dresser?", Cap asks.
"Um…", Rusty sizes up the dresser worriedly. "You know we should probably ask Calvin for help. Wouldn't want to damage it".
"Okay cool, let's go get him", Cappie nods.
"I'm gonna take more boxes of clothes to my car", I say.
"Good since there's like a thousand of them", Cappie makes fun of me.
"Not all of us have 4 plaid shirts that we loosely button up and rotate out every few months", I give him a look and he shakes his head with a laugh as we all make our way down the stairs, boxes in hand.
"This is a really nice place Casey", Calvin comments with a smile as we walk into the new apartment, it completely empty. It was my first time in here today, making our first trip over with stuff in the U Haul.
"Thanks Calvin", I nod. "Yeah it's just like Rusty and Dale's except I'm gonna attempt to give this place a much more feminine look".
I smile at Cappie, waiting for him to make a comment.
"Well I'm having a daughter so I guess I'm just gonna have to get used to that", He smiles at me with a laugh.
"Have you guys ever spent time around kids?", Calvin asks as we unpack some lamps and set them up.
"Well…", I grimace awkwardly. "Not really, no".
"Me neither", Cappie shares my look.
"Well… that's fine", Calvin shrugs. "I'm sure when it's your kid you just have that natural parental instinct anyways. I have a lot of little cousins so I love kids".
"That's cool, maybe you can give us some pointers then", I laugh. "We're going to a baby class later this week though, so maybe that'll prepare us more".
"Oh that's cool", Calvin nods with a smile. "Hey I meant to tell you guys that Heath was gonna come over in a bit, help us out".
"Oh that's awesome", Cappie smiles.
"Yeah I'm really happy to hear you guys are together again", I smile.
"Yeah it's amazing, well you guys would know better than anyone what it's like to get back together with an ex. There's just always gonna be that history between us and those feelings that never really went away. It just feels comfortable", Calvin explains.
Man did I know what he meant. Because comfortable was the exact word. That's how I always felt with Cappie.
Cappie finds my eyes then, my gaze set on him as we share a look. Blue eyes searing into mine as if trying to see if he could tell what I was thinking.
"Yeah", I smile at Calvin, moving my eyes away, avoiding looking at Cappie, letting the awkward tension between us scare me.
I decide to take a breather and go to sit down in the apartment's sole chair that Cappie had brought in so I would have somewhere to rest.
"Um… I'm just gonna go get the last of the stuff from the U Haul", Cappie excuses himself, probably trying to evade the situation.
"Casey I don't even know why I'm bringing this box in when we should really just be dropping it at Goodwill", Rebecca walks in the door then, her voice already stirring up annoyance in me. However I knew that she'd probably distract me from the awkward moment I'd just had with Cappie.
I lean forward to look into said box which contains my purses.
"These are my handbags Rebecca", I give her a look.
"Yeah I know, I have eyes. They're just really freaking ugly", She sticks up her nose.
"Wow thanks", I give her a scoff.
"You're welcome, I'm working hard here. I broke one of my nails on one of the boxes. And I just had them done yesterday", she groans.
"Wow what a tragedy", Calvin jokes which is met with a glare from Rebecca.
"I'm taking a break, this is way too much moving in one month. If it were me, I would've just hired movers", Rebecca huffs and looks around. "Case can I sit down? My back is killing me".
"Yeah Rebecca mine is too from carting a baby around in my body 24/7", I give her a look.
"Fine", she whines. "I'm gonna go find Evan".
She drops the box of purses on the floor with a thud and stalks off.
"She's just so delightful", Calvin says sarcastically and I laugh.
Cappie comes back in then with Rusty and Evan, carting my dresser in past us and into my room. Rebecca walks behind them, following Evan.
"Thanks guys", I follow them in to tell them where to put it. "I really appreciate it".
"We're gonna bring your mattress in next just in case you need to lie down Case", Cappie says.
"Okay", I smile, heart swelling.
"So you really got a queen bed for just you Case?", Rebecca gives me a look. "Not to mention I didn't see a second mattress in there for Cappie. Do you guys really think you can get one over on us?"
Rebecca grins at me deviously, loving the drama.
"I'm bringing my mattress over tomorrow", Cappie gives her a look but Rebecca ignores him.
"Rusty what do you think it's gonna be like having your older sister and your best friend living right above you doing god knows what?", Rebecca looks at Rusty, messing with him.
"Rebecca", Evan looks at her, shaking his head. "What do you say me and you go find something else to bring in?"
"Ugh", Rebecca crosses her arms. "This is so much more fun though".
Evan links his arm through hers and pulls her out of the room.
"Okay I'm officially regretting asking those two to help", I laugh.
"Seriously guys, I know I'm not directly below you, but… please for the love of god don't make me have to think about… what you guys might be doing", Rusty looks at us awkwardly.
"Rus", I groan. "That's not gonna happen so don't worry about it".
"Ear plugs are a thing Spitter", Cap gives him a mischief filled smile.
"Cappie!", I scold him.
"I think it's time to go fill up the truck again, what do you say Spitter?", Cappie smiles at Rusty.
"Okay sure", Rusty looks tired. "But you guys better be springing for dinner after this".
"Don't worry we are", I laugh as Rusty jokes with us.
I stay back at the apartment with Rebecca and Ashleigh unpacking stuff while the guys make another trip back to ZBZ.
The girls help me put my clothes in the closet and into the drawers of my dresser and I make up my bed with sheets and my duvet.
"So you're really not sleeping with Cappie?", Rebecca probes again. "Because I can read people Casey and I just don't believe it".
I share a look with Ash before looking back to Rebecca, mouth open, unsure what to say.
"I knew it!", Rebecca jumps off the bed where she was sitting. "You're so bad Case!"
"What?!", I groan. "It was just like twice and then some… other stuff for his birthday".
I wave it off awkwardly like it's nothing.
"So you're together then? Or just friends with benefits?", Rebecca is living for this drama right now.
"Um…", I say. "We're not together right now... but I don't know, we're just feeling it out".
"Well that seems… responsible", Rebecca scoffs.
"I told her not to do it", Ash says to her.
"Guys!", I turn around from hanging stuff up to give them an annoying look, crossing my arms. "It's not a big deal at all, me and Cappie know what we're doing".
"Okay", Rebecca plays with one of my stuffed animals ears as she takes it out of the box. She grins when she says it, looking at me like she's mocking me.
"Whatever", I huff and turn back around to continue organizing the closet.
"Maybe when the baby's born it'll bring you guys back together", Ash suggests.
"Or it'll make you guys hate each other", Rebecca says, always focused on the negative. "There's studies that say that over half of couples suffer after having a baby. They're not exactly good for relationships".
"Well don't tell her that Rebecca!", Ash scolds her.
"Sorry, I'm just being realistic", Rebecca stands her ground.
I turn around to face them then, letting a sigh out.
"I don't know guys, honestly we're just taking it day by day. For the first time in my life I really have no plan", I feel nervous then. "I just want to do everything I can to be the best mom".
"You will be the best mom", Ash comforts me, seeing the worry taking over me. Ash pulls me onto the bed to sit with her and Rebecca.
"Actually… I think you sleeping with Cappie isn't such a bad idea", Rebecca shrugs and I'm surprised by her attitude.
"Are you being sarcastic? Or…?", I give her a look.
"No I'm being serious. You're gonna be in each others lives forever now and you've already done it obviously. Why would you try to fight being close to the guy you're having a baby with?", Rebecca says. "Plus it's not like you're gonna be able to date anyone else now even if you wanted to Case".
I glare at her, but still can't help but laugh at her.
"Wow, thanks a lot Rebecca", I scoff.
"I'm just being honest. And believe me, I'm also a victim of sleeping with Cappie long after breaking up. It's hard to not go back, especially with that certain thing he does. You know what I'm talking about right?", Rebecca grins.
"Ew I don't wanna hear about this!", Ash covers her ears with a laugh.
"Yeah me neither", I shake my head.
"Why? Because it makes you jealous? Because you still love him?", Rebecca probes.
"No", I say immediately, objecting any idea that I cared about who Cappie had or hadn't slept with.
"Whatever you say", Rebecca gives me a look.
"Let's stop talking about me and Cappie sleeping together, it's getting way too 'Sex And The City' in here", I laugh.
"I call being Carrie!", Ash laughs.
"Okay Ash", I smile and then pause to look at the two of them, sadness taking over me then. "I'm gonna miss you guys so much. Living together for those years… we didn't appreciate it enough".
"Well", Rebecca scoffs. "Bet you'd never thought you'd say that about me".
"No, I didn't", I agree, laughing slightly.
"I love you guys", Ash looks like she's gonna cry. "Group hug?"
"Yeah!", I nod, hugging Ash and we try to pull Rebecca in too.
"Guys!", Rebecca protests, trying to squirm away.
"Don't fight it Rebecca", Ashleigh laughs and finally Rebecca lets us hug her. "You told me earlier today how sad you were that Casey is leaving ZBZ".
"You did?", I'm surprised by that, but give Becs a soft smile.
"Ash!", Rebecca rolls her eyes, obviously wanting her words to have stayed in confidence. "Fine, yes I am going to miss you only because now next time Tegan comes by she's going to realize that our house mom is gone".
"Okay Rebecca", I say to her, my tone and expression telling her that I don't believe her.
Rebecca truly did care about me. Every now and then I would get evidence of that.
"Why don't we order the food guys? I'm starving and I'm sure by the time the guys get back they'll be in a dangerously hangry state", Ash laughs.
"Okay cool, I was thinking Chinese?", I say.
"Yes! Some spring rolls for me. And pad Thai", Rebecca smiles.
"Okay I'm on it", I smile at my best friends, pulling my phone out.
The rest of the night was a lot of fun. All of us had dinner and finished setting up most of the stuff in the apartment. Then one by one people started to go home.
I still had a lot of things to do to get the place looking better. I had to go to get some more furniture because the place was still pretty sparse. I had gotten a small loveseat couch from HomeGoods, and a set of cutlery and plates so we'd have something to use in the kitchen, but that was pretty much it. But overall it was good for the first day. It already looked homey to me.
"So… I guess it's just us then", Cappie gives me a smile as he continues to break down boxes with an exacto knife in the kitchen.
"Mmm hmm", I saunter over to him, giving him a look.
"What are you doing?", He laughs.
What Rebecca had said earlier had struck a cord in me. Why should I try to fight this?
"It's been a week and 6 days", I say in a sing songy voice before leaning up to kiss his neck.
"Woah okay, let me just put down the knife", He laughs and then takes my waist into his hands as I continue to kiss him.
"I want to do the real thing", I whisper in his ear.
"What's gotten into you tonight?", He looks at me surprised, but unable to hide the grin he's sporting.
"I don't know", I shrug. "I… I think we should".
I don't even really have valid reasoning to support this, so I just lean in to kiss him, finally letting my heart lead me for once. Since usually I let my head take charge instead when it came to him.
"Case…", He tries to get a word in between my kisses but I don't stop. I didn't want to hear his protests about how it was too early. I felt fine and everything online said just a week should be enough time to wait after a ruptured cyst.
He finally lifts me up so I'm in his arms and then he plops me down on the kitchen counter, my arms around his neck.
Once he has me on the counter he manages to pull away from me.
"Case, seriously", He says, and puts his finger over my lips. "You know that I want to, god, of course I want to. But are you sure that-"
"Yes I'm sure that I'm fine, we'll just take it slow. The baby will be fine", I assure him. "Why do you think I have a queen bed?"
He laughs at me then.
"Really? Well I was gonna either go home or sleep on the couch tonight depending on what you wanted but…", he trails off, his expression turning smug, looking down my body.
"My bed's more comfy", I give him a look and he throws his head back with a shake.
"What happened to the strict staying in our own beds rule?", Cappie gives me a look, his eyebrow raised.
"Well…", I say, searching for an excuse in my mind. "This is a one night pass since you don't have a bed yet and you're too tall to fit on that couch comfortably".
He scoffs at me then.
"You're really not gonna give up, are you?"
I grin at him and trace his jawline with my finger.
"Nope", I say playfully.
"Casey…"
"C'mon we finally have a place to ourselves. We don't have to worry about the girls at ZBZ or the KT guys", I kiss along his jaw. "No one who'll walk in, no one to be quiet for. Everything will be fine".
I'm sure he knows what I'm doing. I'm trying to turn him on enough that he has no choice but to give in and do this with me. Forget about the fact that he's suddenly adopted a new careful streak in the past few months that he'd never had before.
"Mmm", He looks me up and down now and I know that I've got him. Hook, line, and sinker.
He picks me up off the counter then, my legs wrapped around his waist as I giggle, knowing that I've won.
He carries me into my new bedroom, legs still wrapped around his waist and I'm half surprised that he can carry me with my extra weight but he does just fine. He lays me down on the bed gently, looking down at me before leaning in to kiss me. Our tongues mingling as our hands both struggle to find the buttons and zippers on our clothes, both unable to see them but still trying rabidly to get them off.
He pulls my sweater over my head and I get off his buttoned shirt.
He moves down my body then to unzip my new maternity jeans and I give him a smirking look when he gets them off.
"What?", he laughs.
"Nothing just.. for the first time since we've started hooking up we finally have our own place", I smile slightly.
Our place. That felt weird to say. Especially when I'd been going around telling everyone that it was my place. I mean, hell, Evan had basically laid it out for us last week even though he hadn't done it in the most subtle or kind way.
It was odd, this whole living arrangement.
But I wasn't about to try and dissect that right now. My mind was too busy.
Cappie seems to be affected by me saying 'our place' too since his usual joking mannered expression seems to go serious. I hope he doesn't say anything though. I didn't want to deal with a serious conversation right this second.
I bring my mind back to kissing him.
"You're sure about this?", His dimples show with his smile.
"Where was this responsible energy last spring when we had drunk unprotected sex?", I laugh and he shakes his head with a grin.
"It's a newfound thing", He laughs and then turns serous. "I decided to try and grow up. For us. I mean… for you guys now".
"I know you have", I kiss him then. "And you've done a really good job".
"Thanks Case", He says genuinely, his eyes soft.
I know all he's wanted to do these past few months is show me that he can mature, that the reason why we broke up is in the past because he's willing to make a change in his life now.
"You're welcome", I nod and then start to undo his jeans.
We keep kissing then, his body hovering overtop me, making sure not to place any of his weight on me. Which proves to tough since he's much bigger than me.
I feel his fingers go lower and lower and lower until his large hand finds it's way into my panties and I let out a sharp breath, pulling away from his lips to look in his eyes.
With his other hand he reaches around me to unclasp my bra.
"Multitasking?", I giggle against him and he laughs.
His fingers find all the right spots and I begin to relax against his touch, it turning the lower half of my body into mush.
When I feel one finger inside me I can't help the sigh of relief that escapes my mouth.
"That's okay?", He confirms with me.
"Well two would be better", I joke with him.
"Got it", He grins and does as I say causing me to buck my hips up, the newfound pressure feeling good after not feeling this for what felt like an eternity. It was actually pretty pathetic how tough it was for me to go without sex for just a mere week and 6 days. Especially when I'd been celibate for months over the summer.
I'm gonna chalk it up to the pregnancy hormones because otherwise I really needed to get more self control.
"Cap?", I practically whine.
"Yeah?", He's busy placing his lips all down my collarbone.
"If you keep doing that with your fingers I'm gonna come", I say with a sigh.
"Yeah so?", he laughs.
"I want you inside me first", I profess and his fingers stop at my words, his face coming up to meet my eyes.
"Yeah? That's okay?"
"Yes", I nod. "I'll tell you if it's not, don't worry".
"Okay", he nods, moving off of me slightly, only wearing black boxers. "So how do you want to do this?"
It's not exactly an option for him to be on top anymore like we usually would've before this whole thing.
"Um, you behind me", I suggest and lay on my side, patting behind me on the bed for Cappie.
"Naughty", He gives me a look.
"No, just pregnant", I say sarcastically with a laugh and he grins, looking me over before going around the other side of the bed, getting under the covers with me. When I feel him settle in, moving my hair to the side to gently plant kisses on my neck, I smile even though he probably can't see the giddy look on my face.
I turn my head back to him then so those neck kisses can move to my lips. I feel his hands on my bump, pulling me in closer to him and I feel vindicated to find evidence that I'm not the only one incredibly turned on tonight.
I feel him pull his boxers down and when I feel him against me the anticipation builds up in my chest, my heart already beating fast. The fire in my pelvis begging to be put out by him.
"I'm just gonna go slow okay?", He whispers in my ear and I nod up and down feverishly, anything to get him to give me what I wanted right now.
I never ever thought I would have to persuade Cappie to have sex with me. In fact if you'd had told freshman Casey that I probably would've laughed in your face. Then again if you'd had told freshman Casey that she'd have her own place with Cappie and was growing his baby and was actually happy about it, she probably would've full on passed out.
I feel him enter me then finally, and I hold onto the back of his head, stretching my arm back. My hands in his curls, stubble catching my fingertips off guard.
"Oh my god", I let out along with a deep breath.
"That's okay?"
"Mm hmm", I nod up and down, my eyes closed, taking the feeling in.
"Good", He lets out a deep breath too against my back, a sigh of relief.
I move my head to look at him then, hard to do in this position, but I wanted to see him. Looking at him during sex was kind of the best part.
I meet his blue eyes and stroke the side of his face with my thumb.
"You can let go, this is okay Cappie", I assure him.
"Okay", he whispers, and I watch a smile start to overtake his face even though I can still sense hints of nerves.
"Just kiss me", I whisper back and he does as I say, kissing me deeper, slower, more passionately than our hurried and rushed kisses at the beginning.
I moan through our kisses as I feel him further and further into me, even though I didn't think that was possible.
Eventually I don't even have the wherewithal to kiss back, my mouth open in awe of how good this felt.
Nonetheless, Cappie just opts to kissing other parts of my body instead. My cheek, my shoulder, my back, my head.
I move my hips back and forth, up and down as he keeps me close against him with a single hand on my stomach. Soft whimpers escape from my mouth.
This felt more intimate than almost any other time I've ever been with Cappie for some reason. Maybe it's because it's so slow, so gentle. Or maybe it's because we'd both realized how far we'd actually progressed our relationship, if we were calling it that. Both of us I think still a little struck that we had our own place now, both having been in Greek houses for so long.
But I think mostly it's because of his hand on my belly, both of us just two weeks ago actually acknowledging that we were happy we were having this baby. Before then it was more so something we were dealing with, tolerating. But almost losing her… I think we both realized that night that if we lost the baby, not only would it be extremely tough to go through, it would also mean having to deal with losing this new relationship we'd built back.
And I knew Cappie well enough to know that he still wanted this; me and him.
And I guess I did too, maybe even more than he did at this point.