Chapter 70: Farewell
"No-"
Nothing but that single word resounded in the bitter silence filling the room.
Denial.
It was what Izaya had expected Shizuo to display.
Feeling himself thrown back in time, Izaya couldn't help but remember the last time Shizuo thought he would die.
From the syringe. The supposed antidote that he had poured into his own veins. This would have been the time for it to shine, really.
But Izaya was heavily aware of the incubation time of the virus. He had had the pleasure of seeing the process in his sister before she passed.
The fever.
The restlessness.
And then-
Feeling his guts do a backflip on their own he tried to ignore the warmth that was gathering in his body ever since an hour ago.
He had said nothing.
He had hoped his antidote would work, but wasn't this a surefire sign it didn't?
"It's not even May yet-" Shizuo had said those words. Uttered them too quietly, too apathetic- he was in shock.
Of course he was.
And yet the words only soured Izaya's conscience.
He remembered. Of course he did.
How they celebrated Shizuo's birthday. Mourned Kasuka's and his sisters'-
They had agreed to survive until Izaya's birthday so Shizuo could return the favor and the promise of that time suddenly weighed heavier than iron.
The expiration date printed onto his forhead was finally met and
it wasn't even his birthday yet.
"I knew they would get me one day," Izaya whispered quietly as the candle in the room flickered and it was as if he had woken Shizuo from a deep slumber. His eyes flared and his voice rose in an uncontrollable burst of frustration.
"When- why?! Why did you not tell me-!?" Usually Izaya would have told Shizuo to keep it down. After all they didn't know what, or who was close by, but right now he couldn't bring himself to as he looked at nothing but pure devastation.
Ah.
Right.
He meant the world to Shizuo, just how Shizuo meant the world to him.
"... would that have changed anything?"
It wouldn't have. Shizuo was very well aware of that fact and yet-
He didn't know what to do.
Izaya was there- right now, right here. His wits, his sarcasm, his brilliantly red eyes looking at him with what wasn't supposed to be there.
Defeat.
Because Izaya was there now, but soon he wouldn't be and that knowledge caused Shizuo to choke.
He was here, he was supposed to stay-
Incredible loneliness forced itself onto Shizuo.
He didn't know what to do.
In front of this virus he was helpless.
Dry as the desert, his voice croaked back into the silence.
"What about that antidote? Didn't you create it and inject it? Isn´t it supposed to work?"
As soon as he asked the question he knew how useless it was. Izaya wouldn't have told him if there had been a chance it had actually worked. That wasn't how Izaya's mind worked.
If that were the case he would simply have found an excuse to stay out of their affairs.
All of a sudden Shizuo became awfully aware of how unaffected Izaya had reacted to Namie's threat.
He hadn't even tried to explain.
Shizuo thought he didn't know how, but- that was bullshit wasn't it?
"You have to go back." Izaya said, and for Shizuo that was the only confirmation he needed.
Izaya was already experiencing symptoms of the virus infection.
And that's why he wanted to know Shizuo somewhere safe.
Somewhere far from Izaya.
Eyes narrowing to pure but affected anger Shizuo averted his gaze.
"The hell I am."
"Shizu-chan-"
No. Palm tightened into loose fists and Shizuo grit his teeth.
"You are seriously retarded if you think I will leave you alone right now." Eyes flickered up to meet Izaya's and the raven choked.
Shizuo was aware of their situation.
He was aware of what would happen.
This wasn't one of those silly short tempered announcements. He had thought about it.
Probably more often than Izaya was aware.
Feeling the bitterness creep into his mind, Izaya frowned.
"I will bite you," he tried, but Shizuo didn't even do as much as flinch.
"I don't care."
Yeah. He truly didn't.
Izaya was aware. If Izaya was going down then so was Shizuo. It would have been bitterly romantic if it weren't such a devastating idea.
"Don't tell me you have a zombie fetish?" Izaya tried to joke, but his lips just didn't curl up the way he wanted them to as he was faced with pure sincerity. "You are such a fucking idiot." Izaya whispered. He knew he couldn't talk Shizuo out of his idea.
Not this time.
He already accepted it, whatever was going to happen was going to happen.
"You should get some rest," Shizuo announced as if this were any other usual day.
He was right of course. But somehow hearing the guy that just donated blood and only recently woke from a coma say that, served a comedic effect.
"Same to you."
"I'm not tired."
"Liar."
They were both tired. After this day. This enormous setback.
It wasn't clear whether Karisawa was ever going to wake up again. Neither could anyone tell if Shinra was ever going to return to his old form.
With a wound of that degree there was not only the possibility of infection and a following sepsis but also a high chance he could lose his leg.
Nerves might have been severed, irreparable damage could have been done to both of them.
And now…
"I might become one of these things, gross lurking, gnawing on your flesh while you sleep. Honestly you shouldn't bear your artery this close to me," Izaya replied in hope to stir Shizuo's common sense.
"Then make me move."
But he forgot he had none. A tired smile made its way into Izaya's expression as he looked towards the crescent wound.
"... you know I could serve as a weapon," he theorized. "I could walk into the camp of Jo's hoes. Act like I will join them. And once they believe me and I turn-" Flashing his teeth he mimicked a short bite.
It was as much gruesome as it was supposed to be funny and Shizuo held back a bitter snort.
"You are so retarded," he announced, but Izaya merely shrugged.
"What? I'm just trying to get the most out of this situation."
It was funny.
This situation.
It had been a while since Shizuo got to talk to Izaya like this.
Alone. Both in their right minds.
It was awfully nostalgic. But the bitter reminder on Izaya's arm made sure they didn't forget that this might as well be the last conversation they ever held.
It caused Shizuo's forehead to fold into frowns.
They had faced so many dangers. Escape death more often than they fought in their lives.
And for what?
Izaya had taught him what it meant to live after Kasuka died.
He had shown him that even this world and environment living was still worthwhile. That nothing changed despite the odds. That there was hope still to be held.
Izaya had been a light at the horizon constantly pointing into the right direction.
And even when he lost his shine for a short while he was serving a guiding point.
They saved each other.
So many times.
Even today-
And suddenly Shizuo's thoughts came to a halt.
Today.
The day that Izaya got bitten.
"Izaya, when did you get bitten?" The question was loaded and both were aware of the answer without it needing to be said. "Was it when you covered for me?"
A soft shrug followed and the candle light flickered as Izaya's voice dropped.
"Between you and me, I had the higher odds of surviving a bite," Izaya whispered and Shizuo's body stiffened.
"Had?"
A soft, apologetic smile spread across Izaya's lips. "... I think I'm getting a fever."
Shock marked Shizuo's expression.
So it was over.
Already.
He had held a light shimmer of hope that maybe Izaya wasn't going to turn, that maybe he would survive.
But jumping to his feet and bringing his palm to Izaya's forehead in a quick flash only confirmed his worst fear.
"It's one of the first signs you know. The body is trying to fight the virus by killing it with a rise in temperature. But this virus is heat resistant up to 60 degrees, so a simple fever, won't-"
Wax splattered the ground and the light of the candle suddenly made way for darkness.
The tight embrace had caught Izaya a bit off guard and he felt his body stiffen.
"Ah. You knocked the candle over," he announced quietly in the dark. It didn't matter of course.
But what else was he supposed to say?
Arms tightened their hug around Izaya and Shizuo shook his head.
"You will live, Izaya, you hear me?" he whispered with way more confidence than he felt.
A bitter smile that Shizuo didn't see but felt on his cheek crawled to Izaya's lips as he whispered back.
"I will try my best."
Shizuo swallowed hard.
"You better do or I will make you regret it."
It was such a lovely threat. One that made Izaya think about their journey. About where they came from.
Chasing each other with the intention to kill it was funny that now nothing else in the world was more desirable than each other's survival.
"Are you going to hit me with a road sign if I don't?" Izaya found himself asking, joining the useless efforts Shizuo was wasting to cheer him up.
"Right to the head." Shizuo agreed and Izaya snorted.
But feeling the heat in his body rise, Izaya couldn't possibly uphold the humor.
The faces he feared not too long ago suddenly returned with full vigor. The zombies. They way their bodies started to rot.
Their eyes.
The blood having taken on both a gruesome color as well as consistency.
Simply imagining that his own blood was in the midst of turning into that gray waste made Izaya's stomach sink and throat go dry.
"Shizu-chan-" he whispered, and Shizuo felt the way the raven tensed in his arms.
"Yes?"
He was scared.
Shizuo didn't see it, but he felt it with every fiber of his body.
"...I love you." Izaya whispered and Shizuo hated how it sounded like a final goodbye.
But what was he supposed to say? The candle had gone out. Laid somewhere on the ground.
Darkness was the only blanket serving their bed as Shizuo sat on the couch with Izaya in his arms.
"I love you too."
Now they could do nothing but wait.
Wait.
Hope.
Pray a little maybe.
Shizuo had never been very religious, but right now, if there was a god watching them for whatever reason, then he hoped it would have mercy on Izaya.
A good god.
Not the kind Joe's hoes served.
"No matter what happens tonight, that will never change, alright?" Izaya suddenly whispered, drawing Shizuo's attention.
It was funny how Izaya drew the oddest conclusions when he was scared.
Tightening the hug Shizuo nuzzled into his black strands of hair, giving a silent nod.
"Of course it won't."
to be continued~
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I'm not even gonna say anything at this point xD
See you next Saturday ahahahaha 3
On a side note my dear lovely readers-
I FINALLY MADE IT! xD
I finished the first book of my fantasy series YULTESRA
It's now available on amazo know I have been posting some of the chapters on AO3 and said I would do the entire thing- the problem is apparently I am not allowed to post everything because of the guidelines of publishing so I have to leave you hanging at a cliffhanger C': One of my favorite activities lmao nah joke xDD
but yeah sadly I can't give you everything on AO3 Anyway, if you are interested in the story or if you ever wanted to support me in any way this is actually a non gay piece of fiction xD So gift it to your parents, to your cat, to your neighbor, plaster the road with it hahahaha Nah for real tho every purchase would mean the world to me :3
I have put +12 years into the creation of this entire world :3
For those that are interested part 2 will be coming around September 2024, part 3 sometime spring 2025 and the last one I would say roughly end of 2025 :3
Yeah it's 4 parts now instead of three xD You know me, I ended up going too much into detail- like in all my stories xDDDD