Chapter 9: Explanations

Transylvania ca. 1895

The heavy stone slab closed over the sarcophagus in which we laid our son to his final rest. From now on he would sleep the eternal sleep of the innocent at my mother's side. Perhaps her otherworldly spirit would recognize the child's soul and understand the sacrifice his mother made to spare him a fate like mine. At least, that was what I wanted for him after we freed him from the clutches of the evil powers that had for centuries revelled in the misery they had once brought upon my ancestors and me. I tried not to think about what it might mean to me that I dared to break the pact, but the freedom the Bloodstone would guarantee me from now on came at a far too high price.

My son was dead, and his mother stood next to me without even considering me worthy of a single glance. Not a word passed her lips as we made our way back to the castle through ankle-deep snow, and now, she stared at the child's gravestone with hot, dry eyes and would undoubtedly have turned away without a word had I not reached for her hand to hold her back.

"What else do you want, Count?" Her voice was soundless, yet so icy that anyone other than me would probably have frozen. "You took everything from me! My childhood friend! The man who once loved me! The lover who gave me comfort when no one else would. My decency and what little respect I had left. And now, the child who was yours as well! Are you finally satisfied with yourself, or are you already preparing a new devilry with which you can torment me?"

With an angry move, she wiped a lone tear from her cheek before adding: "There was once a time when I thought I saw something in you, felt something for you! May God forgive me for this misbelief and delusion! Van Helsing was right: You are a beast!"

"Would you have preferred to see our son wandering in the dark of night one day? Like his father, driven by bloodlust? A vampire, a bloodsucker, a monster? Is that what you wanted for him?"

"We both would have known what he was! If what you wanted me to believe is true, this transformation only begins after death! So why did you allow him to be cheated out of his life?"

"What if someone other than you and I found out what he was? Do you think Abraham van Helsing would let him live? Do you really believe this?"

"I..."

"No! You will listen to me now, Mina Harker! It's time for you to hear the whole story because there is more, much more, than what I have told you so far!"

I grabbed the reluctant woman by the wrist and dragged her along mercilessly. At that moment, I didn't care about anything else. Neither van Helsing nor the hired assassins who were still hiding somewhere in the castle. My attention was solely on Mina Harker and what she was about to learn from me.

I pushed her into a room that had once served as my father's fireplace room and scriptorium. Dust swirled as I slammed the door shut behind us and tore the sheets from the paintings hanging on the wall opposite the desk. I quickly pushed aside the old curtains so that light could flood into the dark room, then I lowered my gaze into Mina's eyes and explained in an icy voice: "You are the first I will talk to about everything I now entrust to you. Draw your conclusions from it, and as far as it concerns me, throw yourself back into the arms of that crazy professor afterwards. But for me, it will be enough to know that I have laid out the truth before you!"

"One of many, I suppose! Well, then, tell me, Dracula! Try to convince me that you are capable of telling the truth!"

"I already told you that my father tore me from my mother's arms to fulfil his duty against the same evil that demanded Quentin as a tribute from the Draculas. But you don't know this, that he was present until the end of the ceremony that was supposed to one day destroy my life. When the ritual was performed on me, he sent me and my younger brother as hostages to the Sultan's court, while he and my older brother began planning the uprising against the overwhelming enemy. Knowing full well that this could mean our death."

I began pacing the old scriptorium as I spoke, and with every thought of my father, I once again felt the deepest contempt for the man arise within me: "I would be lying if I said we weren't treated with respect at first, but that changed as we got older. My brother was blinded by what he found in that foreign land. So much so that he soon became one of them, accepted their faith and was raised to the status of a nobleman and warrior, who years later would become one of my worst enemies."

Mina's gaze remained on me the entire time, as if she was trying to determine whether I was really speaking the truth. At the same time, I could see both genuine interest and sincere concern in her eyes.

As if she sensed my thought, she lowered her eyes as she asked: "What happened to you? I don't suppose you gave in to such a temptation either?"

"No! I didn't! I used my years in captivity to gain knowledge wherever I could find it. Just like my mother taught me from the very beginning. I devoured books, maps, and documents wherever I came across them, and made no secret of the fact that I planned to apply the knowledge I had acquired as soon as I was permitted to return home. They asked what this meant, but I remained silent. Even when they started punishing me."

"What does that mean?"

"Can't you think of it?"

"But you were nothing more than a young man, still rather a child than a man...!"

"Believe me, Mina, the man responsible for executing the punishment knew his craft fairly well, and he made sure I would remember it throughout my life and beyond."

Mina looked at me questioningly, and I answered her question by encouraging her to push the shirt I was wearing up to my shoulders and look at my back. I heard her silent sound of horror as she noticed the countless scars, but I was unprepared for her careful touch with trembling fingers.

Her caution would not have been necessary since I had long been free from feeling this kind of pain, but as always when she touched me, I felt deep within me how the evil that held me captive receded.

I closed my eyes, surrendered to the gentle touch and continued my story: "He only stopped when my strength finally gave out and a cry of pain escaped my lips - and not infrequently my brother stood by and enjoyed my torments. Years passed, and I time and again managed to deceive my tormentors. Successfully, it seemed, because they finally let me return home. There I learned that my family was destroyed. My older brother had been blinded and buried alive. My mother had died of a broken heart. And my father had also paid with his life for the rebellion he had sparked. From that day on, it was up to me to direct the destinies of my people. At that time I met the woman to whom I owed the fact that not only blood and death dominated my life. In her arms I always found brief moments of peace and love, but the forces around me destroyed these brief moments over and over again. Especially after my love gave me a son. We both knew that one day my family's curse would be fulfilled on him, but it didn't come to that."

I still felt Mina's hands on my back, and her voice seemed softer than before when she asked: "What happened?"

"What happened, I found out through third parties. I was on the battlefield when we were told that my brother's troops were besieging my castle and would storm its battlements as soon as he arrived. I knew what this meant: Whatever strength I'd manage to mobilize, I would never reach the castle in time. I knew my brother, and I knew what he would do to my love and son before he would send me their heads. Then I received word from one of my followers. One of my brother's men, who was well-disposed towards me and my wife, had managed to send her a message warning her of my brother's arrival. With his help, she and our son managed to secretly leave the castle, but their escape was discovered and she and the child threw themselves into the icy waters of the nearby river. I never saw them again, but at least they escaped my brother's revenge and the abysmal evil that would otherwise have taken my son one day..."

I turned and looked at Mina's tear-streaked face. She cried quietly, her shoulders shaking as she tried to hold it back.

"What is this? Tears? Am I right in the assumption, that you don't want to push an oak stake into my chest any more?"

"You know full well I can't do that!"

"You can leave it to the professor. Or you can ask him to lead your hand!"

"Save your cynicism, Dracula!" Mina Harker wiped the tears from her face and glared at me: "Or have you actually missed the fact that I've long since stopped wanting to watch you crumble into dust?" She sighed and continued: "Actually, I should solely see the profound evil in you! Everything you have done and are certainly going to do as head of the Circle should be enough for me to stay away from you, and yet I can't! I should hate you, loathe you, despise you, but I can't! And the worst part is, I don't even know why I can't! I am not one of your brides, I am not a vampire, and yet I am drawn to you again and again and again! Van Helsing would say you still have power over me, and maybe that's true, but you and I, we are bound by more than that! You gave me something no one else could have given me. The child now resting down there by your mother's side - I loved him. What makes me shudder, though, is knowing that it's not just Quentin whom I loved..."

She let her gaze wander over the paintings, let it rest on the portrait of my mother, next on the one that depicted my wife and son, and then said: "Those women, there must be a reason why they loved you, and I have to admit, in a way I envy both of them. They knew you as you really were..."

I had to laugh at these words: "Do you really think you could have loved me if you had known me then, Mina Harker? Don't forget, I already had a certain desire for power at that time. My current form and the Circle simply give me different powers and open up other possibilities. Especially now that I no longer have to fear the light of day."

"What makes you think I talked about loving you?"

"I don't think you love me, my beautiful, I know you do! And...well...I admit...I like that..."