Our first episode has begun! This will be quite a doozy, since we have to introduce like 36 characters, but I'm sure it will all work out in the end!
Expect spoilers from virtually every franchise featured here including total drama itself, particularly since one of the reboot contestants is participating in this AND what happened to her in the last season is mentioned.
But before that, here's some responses to some reviews!
PrincessGumballWatterson777: You submit the same few characters to every story, so its better that I put in characters who haven't been written all that much before.
Luckyhill: All of them are pretty fun to write.
A few warnings: This story very much pushes the T rating to its limit, there are a LOT of offensive lines here and there, but nothing actually explicit. At best there's uncensored swearing, at worst there's racial slurs.
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We open the season on the iconic dock of Camp Wawanakwa, the island in which most of the old seasons had taken place in.
There, a man in his early-late 40s walks by and begins speaking directly to the audience.
"Last time on Total Drama Island" The man began. "We started our reboot strong by inviting 16 brand new contestants to play in 2 wonderfully crafted AND dangerous seasons!"
Footage from the last 2 seasons is shown while the man's narrating.
"In the end, these brutal brawls resulted in 2 great winners, several bonds & betrayals and many, MANY horrible accidents for our unfortunate cast!" The man continued. "And now, I've decided to make our most ambitious season yet. 36 contestants. From different dimensions! ONE BILLION DOLLARS"
"I'm Chris Mclean and this is Total Drama Island!" The man now known as Chris McLean explained. "We have 35 new campers to introduce for the season, but first, I would like to RE-introduce the audience to an old face!"
We then cut to a helicopter hovering around the island. From that helicopter, a black girl with dyed blonde hair jumps down with a parachute all the way to the bottom. When she lands, she strikes a confident pose that screams "Let's get serious."
"Ladies, Gentlemen, and everyone in between: Give a warm welcome to previous contestant Nichelle Ladonna!" Exclaimed Chris.
"Darn right McLean, I may've not made it far in my previous seasons, but this year I'm gonna give my all!" Proclaimed Nichelle aggressively.
"Didn't you say that in season 2? Where you got tricked easily by a fake hollywood contract?"
"Bu-but I mean it this time!"
Chris grinned. "Sure you do Nichelle, sure you do."
"Alright, now, can you get on and reveal the other losers so I can win this easily?" Nichelle asked.
"I was about to do that just now, and i'll take a while, since we have over thirty characters from various universes." Chris claimed.
"W-Wait, what the heck do you mean by universes?" Before her answer could be questioned, a giant boat containing the contestants had arrived at the dock, which horned loudly, making both Chris and Nichelle cover their ears.
"Aaaaannd they've arrived just in time! Now, for our first multiversal contestant, I've decided to first introduce the most iconic of them all. Donald, on the duck, now!"
The first camper to step out of the boat was the famous Disney character Donald Duck. He looked more or less the same as usual, wearing his sailor outfit with pride and walking straight to Chris.
"Good grief, is that ACTUALLY Donald Duck? Like, for real?" Asked a confused Nichelle.
"Yes he is. Now Donald, how do you feel about getting into Total Drama Island?" Asked a not confused Chris.
"INCOMPHREHENSIBLE NOISES" Said Donald? I dunno, no one knows what he actually said.
"Alright Donny, that was very thoughtful of you to say, but let's just get to the next contestant!" Chris yelled, angering Donald.
Our third contestant was a blonde haired man wearing a black-ish blue jacket and pants. He looked pretty annoyed.
The man complained."Wow, this place is a dump, though I should've expected that, considering I've been on a show like this before."
"Oh I know that show Nick, and I dare you not to mention it again EVER!"
Nick simply rolled his eyes. "Fine. I'm honestly just here to get the money and nothing else,"
"Good. Now lets continue with the intros!" Yelled out Chris.
Next contestant arrived almost immediately. He happened to be a red crewmate from the hit game Among Us, the only difference between him and a regular crewmate was his red beanie on his head.
"Huh, so this is the total drama show everyone is talking about." Claimed the crewmate. "Name's Player by the way, I'm known to be kind of a loser, but I'm not gonna let that faze me here. I'm here to win and maybe make some friends along the way."
"BORING." Yelled out Chris. "You're gonna lose that enthusiasm sooner or later anyway scrub so I suggest just going over with the others and shutting up."
Player didn't look particularly happy. "Rude." He then went to the others.
"Now it's time for a much more exciting arrival. He's from the same universe as Player, a mega star in the Among Us nation, give it up for Mr. Cheese!" Yelled Chris in excitement.
Out the boat was a crewmate like Player, but this time orange, and he had a piece of cheddar on his head.
"My name's Mr. Cheese." He said.
"Why yes, your name is most certainly Mr. Cheese." Said Chris in a sarcastic tone. "You guys should treat him with some respect, we payed A LOT of money to put him here, so carass his ego, would you?"
"INCOMPHREHENSIBLE NOISES" Yelled out Donald Duck.
"Why thank you good sir for the compwiment!" Said Mr. Cheese.
Player whispered to Nichelle. "He may look like an idiot, but he's actually a complete genius, so watch out for him".
Nichelle didn't look particularly convinced by this idea.
Mr. Cheese went on to stand next to Player. "Hey Pwayer, wanna make an alliance?"
Player looked scared. "S-See? I was right?"
Mr. Cheese whispered to him in a sinister tone. "I won't tawk any more If I were you."
"Ooh drama already? That must be a new record!" Joked Chris.
The next camper was just a plankton, more specifically a cartoon plankton with limbs and one eye.
"Everyone, this is Plankton. He's an evil genius from Bikini Bottom and the owner of his own restaurant." Chris Explained. "A really bad restaurant, but one nonetheless" He added.
"I would object to that last claim Mr. Host!" Plankton exclaimed. "I've got at least 0.0000003% stars! Even if most of the positive reviews had suspiciously similar usernames."
"VERY suspicious, to say the least" Added Nick.
Plankton started sweating a bit. "B-But you're definitely right about the evil genius part! You maggots may think of me as just a lil useless sea creature, but wait till I fly under the radar and win this whole thing!"
Player looked confused. "You're not gonna fly under the radar if you're just gonna say it out loud so quickly."
"THATS-Actually you got a good point, I really should be more subtle." Confessed Plankton. "Guess I'll just, y'know, go there and wait for everyone else."
After Plankton, the next camper was a muscular Jamaican man who was also completely shirtless. He also had some sick dreadlocks.
"If I had a nickel for every time we've had a fit jamaican guy named Dee Jay on this show, I'd have two nickels." Chris claimed. "But this one in particular is also a famous musician/kickboxer! So much cooler than the other one."
"Thanks for intro mon." He said to Chris. "I'm really excited to start winning game, baby!"
"This guys kinda cool" Said Player.
Dee Jay proceeded to move towards the group by moonwalking. "Love the enthusiasm, kid!"
Next one to arrive was only our second female contestant. She was a living, breathing gingerbread cookie with flowing brown hair that reaches the ground and winter clothes. She also notably had a cup of cocoa in her hand.
"This is Cocoa Cookie. She loves cocoa more than anything in the world. Or multiverse, because one of you would have tried correcting me."
Plankton quietly hums to himself.
"Hello there. My name is Cocoa Cookie." She said. "I hope to win the prize so that I will be able to make my dream come true: Cocoa park! Cocoa Mountain! COCOA EVERYTHING!"
"Sheesh, you're just OBSESSED with cocoa, ain't ya? Mate, go drink some coffee or even tea, it's much more healthy." Nick said.
Cocoa Cookie proceeded to throw her hot cocoa directly at his face with a big smile. "Did you say something?"
He nodded "no".
"Good." Happily said Cocoa Cookie.
After Cocoa Cookie came a muscular white skinned man with brown hair. He wore sunglasses and had a confident look.
"Make way for the star, bitch."
Cocoa looked angrily at him.
"Johnny Cage, our second hollywood action star after Nichelle." Explained Chris. " How you doin' man, did Hollywood cancel you too?"
Johnny crossed his arms behind his head. "Never heard of her. I'm really just here for some good ol' publicity. I mean, kinda hard to not get noticed when getting broadcasted across multiple universes."
Nichelle went up to him. "Well at least MY strength isn't fake!"
Johnny just laughed at her. "Will see that when the game starts, but for now, you're basically a nobody to me."
"Man did I pick a good cast!" Said Chris. "Speaking of the cast, here comes a few more!"
Out the boat was a big, green leaf with short, stickman-like limbs.
The leaf looked super happy, almost TOO happy. " Hiiiiiiii, I'm Leafy and I'm THE NICEST, MOST COOLEST MOST HARDWORKING MOST AMAZING PERSON YOU'LL EVER MEET! I'M SO FREAKIN HAPPY TO MEET Y'ALL!"
"Don't you think you're being a bit, I don't know, dramatic?" Asked Plankton.
"Mr. Cheese doesn't wike you."
"Huh? How-how COULD YOU? Mr. Cheese, I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND!" Yelled Leafy in an incredibly sad tone.
"I don't even know you, idiot." Mr. Cheese replied.
"Ugh fine." Leafy said, crossing her arms. " I have other friends anyway."
She went up to the rest of the cast. "Hey Player, you're my friend, RIGHT?"
"How do you know my name? I-I've never seen you before."
"Isn't it normal to know the names of ALL of my friends?" Said Leafy.
"Fair point." Replied Player. "I think."
Next character was similar to Leafy and Cocoa, in that she was a normally inanimate object who was a living, breathing organism. She was a pillow, who happened to have the Leafster's stickman limbs.
"Hey guys! I'm Pillow! And I just came here to say I want to see all of you die a grizzly death!" That's all Pillow said before leaving the dock.
"Cool" Said Chris.
After 3 living objects almost in a row, we get another human. He(?) has brown hair and yellow skin. She(?) wears a blue shirt with purple stripes. He (?) seems to be a small child.
Chris introduces her(?). "This is Frisk. I know nothing about them(?) but welcome him(?) regardless.
Frisk walked in silence towards the group.
Our next camper was utterly disgusting in both appearance and personality. So much so that I can't even DESCRIBE how he looks. Just imagine the most horrific stereotype of a southern white man.
"Howdy y'all, Toby Queef's the name and killin' hippies is my game!"
Dee Jay looked like he was about to vomit. "Jesus Christ mon, this is making me sick!"
"He looks like an inbred cross between Danny Devito and the Wicked Witch." Added Johnny Cage.
"I must say I'm quite liking my reception so far." The abomination known as Toby Queef stated. "Hey Chris?"
"Yes?" He answered.
"Did ya happen to cast a fuckin' JEW or an AYRAB on the show or what?" He nonchalantly said.
Everyone gave him a cold look besides Pillow and Chris.
"Um, Chris, did you SERIOUSLY accept this piece of trash human being onto this show?" Yelled Nichelle.
"I've literally put psychotic attempted murderers on here before but a random guy saying something bigoted is the last straw?" He replied. "Hypocrites, all of you."
"Well fuck all of you faggots I guess." Toby Queef said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna pray to God that you won't get your sick, JEWISH blood all over me!"
After such a horrible individual, the next contestant was a lot more pleasant. She was a pink haired Japanese girl with green eyes. She wore a school uniform.
"This is Monica. Her hobbies include literature, playing the piano and other stuff a Japanese schoolgirl would be into."
"Mr. McLean, I appreciate that introduction, but couldn't it have been a little more, fleshed out?" She asked. "After all, you hardly described my personality other than some interests, and I think that wouldn't leave a good enough impression-"
"Zip it, we don't have all day for pointless monologues!" Chris told her.
"Well if that's the case, I suppose I'll simply go to the others." She replied.
"Wow, someone actually normal for once." Said Player. "That's rare."
Next up we had a short, anthrophomorphic rabbit girl. "This little girl right here is Cream The Rabbit." Chris claimed. "Cream, please introduce yourself.
Cream happily walked forward. "Hello there. I'm Cream and I-I hope we can all get along with each other!"
"That might be a bit easier said than done." Claimed Player as he glared at Toby Queef, who was currently picking his nose.
"I-I'm sure it won't be that hard!" Cream replied.
"Poor girl is NOT ready for this show at all." Chris said. "Anyways, next on our list of contestants comes from the same world as Cream, Sonic The Hedgehog!"
Seemingly out of nowhere the blue hedgehog came in the view of all of the campers, striking a confident pose as well.
"Sup. Seems my competition's a bit weak today."
"Wait is that Sonic The Freakin' Hedgehog?" Player questioned in awe. "He's like the coolest video game character!"
"Besides Mr. Cheese!" You-Know-Who added.
"Thanks for the compliment." Sonic said. "I usually get the OPPOSITE of what you just said."
"Sonic!" A feminine, high pitched voice screamed. "YOU haven't forgotten about me, did you?"
Sonic looked spooked. "Are you kiddin' me? Amy, you can't do this now, I've got a competition to win!"
Amy forcibly embraced Sonic anyway, and he was understandibly annoyed.
"Lemme guess, you only entered this show so you could hang out with me, right?"
"Oh, actually, no." Replied Amy. "I signed up for myself, and, when I found out an alternate universe version of you applied, I got Dr. Eggman to change it so that YOU joined instead! Isn't that SOOO kind of him?"
"Darn, guess that's why nobody here looks like they're ready to run 100 miles per hour." Sonic revealed. "Or that the host is some surfer lookin' guy instead of a professional gentleman."
"Question." Said Chris. "Did that show involve racing around the world with a partner?"
"Yep, it certainly did. Shame Tails won't participate here."
"If that's the case, then you definitely got put in the better show!" Bragged Chris. "But whatever, you two can continue with your lovey dovey stuff when we're done with the intros."
The first camper introduced after the halfway mark was a man who was strangely yellow-skinned. He was middle aged and balding, and he looked quite derpy.
"Homer, this show is probably the hardest thing you'll ever do in your life, so I suggest trying to make a good impression."
Homer probably didn't listen to anything Chris said as he seemed to look tired. "Hmmm, Donuts. Gimme gimme Mr. Dough, I'll make sure to save some for Marge."
"According to various studies I've made up in 2 seconds." Pillow began. "This man is what we know as a retard."
"That's pretty offensive, you dumb bitch!" Said Toby Motherfuckin' Queef.
"I wouldn't say that if I were you." Nick told him. "Besides, getting offended by that is bloody stupid on its own."
Homer fell unconcious, probably because of how much he drank before leaving his home.
"So is anybody gotta move his fatass or what?" Asked Johnny Cage. No one responded.
Next came a rotund, purple cloud with arms and a star right above the eyes.
"This place is so, like, CRAPPY!" She said. " It must've costed, like, 12 bucks to, like, buy it right?"
"Oh actually, it costed even less than that." Replied Chris. "Cuz I got it for Christmas!" He then chuckled.
"Lame." The cloud said.
"Anyways, this fine young woman is Lumpy Space Princess, the soon-to-be ruler of, y'know, Lumpy Space!"
"Wow, and here I thought MY parents hated me." Said Nichelle.
"Whatevs." Lumpy Space Princess said as she took out her phone. "'Least this island has Wi-Fi."
"Oh yeah about that. You're not alllowed with smart phones on the island. Though since last time someone had it, it caused major drama, I'll give you a pass."
"Cool" LSP said while looking at whatever Tik Tok equivalent her universe has.
Next camper was the weirdest looking human character so far (If you don't count Toby Queef as human). He was a small child who had a fucking pencil up his nose. He wore a blue bike helmet, a yellow T-shirt that said "Jeffy" on it and some black shoes.
"Hi, my name Jeffy. He said. "It says so on my shirt, Jef-fy."
"Pretty sure the kid has some kind of mental disability." Said Nick. "Just another confirmation this show doesn't screentest its contestants."
"Anyhow, Christ, can I get the money now and go home to daddy?" Jeffy said.
"Seems you haven't gotten the memo. You're supposed to COMPETE to win all that cash kid, and even then you're not guaranteed to get it!"
"Oh are you fucking serious?" Yelled the kid. "What kind of fucking reality show doesn't give you money for doing jack shit!"
"Jeffy, be a good boy and just go to the other contestants please." Chris said calmly.
"Fine." He said. "Hopefully you got some hoes in here."
"That kid must be a massive disappointment to his parents." Johnny Cage said.
Jeffy walked up to Pillow. "Hey, can I say that you, an inanimate object, makes my pee-pee go wee-wee."
Pillow pulled out a sharp knife. "Say that again and you won't be able to walk again."
"Nah, that just makes it hotter."
Pillow simply leaves him after that.
Next we had a redheaded young adult woman with a long white coat. She looked pretty excited to be here.
"Hey guys! Name's Mona and I'm kinda just here for the money. Like, don't get me wrong, It's a selfish reason, but having a billion dollars would be SOOO cool you guys!"
"Man, that hoe's lookin' pretty fucking fine." Said Jeffy.
"E-excuse me, did you just...say that?" Mona asked.
"Yes I did."
"Um, okay. Though I'm still excited and all, to start the freakin' game and all that."
"Jeffy! Be nice to women from now, you understand?!" Yelled Leafy.
"You're not my mommy!" He replied.
"Yet."
"From the same video game company Mona happens to work at." Chris began. "She's a lonely witch girl who can craft the most deadly of potions: Here comes Ashley!"
A young girl came in, wearing a small red dress. She had both black hair and black eyes, with the hair in pigtails.
"Hello...I'm Ashley...a witch" She shyly said. "I'll just...go...with the rest."
"Come on Ashley, be a little confident girl!" Mona said. "You can't just be lonely forever!"
Ashley simply ignored Mona and blended in the crowd.
After Ashley was a character who was very much like Leafy and Pillow. She was a blue file cabinet who was currently writing one of her files with a pen.
"Hmmn, looking at such an...interesting set of characters, I have no doubt that my files are going to be larger than usual here." She remarked.
"Sup Cabby, please, tell us about yourself. That is usually how you make friends."
Cabby seemed a bit...sheepish about that. "Uh, me, yeah, yeah. My name is Cabby, I'm somewhat of a researcher, writing everything I find intriguing about a person or object in these files of mine."
"So you're basically a stalker, right?" Sarcastically asked Johnny Cage.
"I-I wouldn't exactly describe it as that." She tried explaining. "The real reason why I write files is, to put it simply, a personal reason that I don't want to get into."
"Just because you explain why you're a stalker doesn't mean you're not a stalker." Said Cage.
"I for one believe Cabby's just a lil shy!" Confidently said Mona.
"T-Thank you." Cabby replied.
"Blah Blah Blah 'nough with the chit-chat lets continue our episode!" Demanded Chris.
This new camper looked like he was from Chris's universe. He had tanned skin with solid brown hair. He wore a pink wifebeater and had a star tatoo on his right arm.
"Woah dudes, this place is hella awesome!" He exclaimed. "Geoff really knows what a good island is!"
Chris looked bewildered. "Geoff? Like Total Drama Aftermath host Geoff?"
"Yeah dude, he told me this season allowed adults in so I applied as soon as I could."
"Well I'm certainly not surprised you're his friend." Chris told him. "You're both the same brand of annoying."
"Thanks for the compliment dude!"
"Pretty sure it wasn't." Nichelle said.
Right after Brody came another contestant from his universe. She was a black woman with brown hair (thus likely biracial) and some light freckels. She wore a police outfit.
"This fine young lady is Sanders. She's a by the book officer who had her 10 minutes of fame years ago by winning that show that shall not be named along with her fellow cop partner. How've you been doing after that, Sanders?"
"Not much has really changed since then, as we donated the money to charity after winning." Sanders explained. "I'm mostly here as a sort of vacation from my job. Gets real stressful sometimes, especially after George Floyd."
Brody suddenly went up to Chris. "Oh yeah, I remember that chick! We were both on that show and got to the finals. I even went on a date with her partner, though that didn't amount to much."
"Discussing that stupid show makes me feel very uncomfortable so I want both of you to shut up and never talk about again EVER!" Chris interrupted.
Brody and Sanders just went to the rest of the group.
After those two came another human. He was a slightly tan skinned 10 year old boy with dark hair and two lightning bolt esque markings underneath his eyes. He wore a notable baseball cap which had the symbol of a ball none of the group had seen before outside of cartoons.
"Hello everyone, my name is Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town in the Kanto Region, and the world champion where I come from!" The boy explained.
"Pokemon as in, those strange animals who fight each other?" Johnny Cage asked. "I used to watch the hell outta that show when I was younger. Didn't know you became champ."
"Right on the money! Though I still don't consider myself a Pokemon Master, as there are still many things I need to accomplish beforehand and joining this show would be one of them!"
"If you say so." Chris replied to him.
"Good luck on the game anyhow." Ash said.
From the same universe? as Ash came a short, muscular girl with gray hair in a bobcut. She wore a karate outfit and some kneepads. Finally, she did not have any footwear on.
"This tough girl from Ash's universe is Bea, a gym leader from the Galar Region, which is basically her world's equivalent of the UK. She's got quite the muscle to say the least."
Bea silently went to the rest of the group until being approached by Nichelle. "You look pretty tough girl, wanna do a little arm wrestle to see it?"
Nichelle took her hand out and Bea almost instantly crushed it with ease. "Don't . ." She calmly said.
Nichelle was currently reeling from the pain in her hand. "O-ok, I'll r-remember that."
Up next was a black cat with red eyes. She was no ordinary cat, as she was anthropomorphic, wearing clothing like an orange shirt.
"Yo Mae, how are you feelin' 'bout this colorful group of characters?" Chris asked her.
"They look kinda dumb to be honest." The cat said bluntly.
"That's it? No wacky interactions, no sarcastic comments, NOTHING?" Chris asked, bewildered that this dumb cat broke the status quo.
"I just came here to waste my time in the summer. What more do you want?" She asked.
"Fiiiiiiiine. Go with the crowd and never say anything ever."
After that, Chris decided to introduce the next campers himself. "Up next we have the most popular female superhero in existence."
"Is it Batman?" Jeffy asked.
"No Jeffy, Batman isn't a woman."
"ARE YOU FUCKING HIGH!"
"Shut up." Chris replied. "It's Wonder Woman."
Almost on que, Wonder Woman herself came down from the sky looking battle ready.
Some of the contestants, mainly the more "normal" ones like Brody or Nichelle, reacted with awe at seeing the superheroine in person.
There was also Jeffy, who was smacking his diaper.
"While I am flattered by your reactions." She began. "I want to let everyone know that deep down, even in spite of my powers, we're all just as extraordinary as the other."
"I agree!" Leafy shouted.
"That sounds like some dumb inspirational shit you hear in oscar bait flicks." Johnny Cage claimed.
"I honestly think that hoe's got a nice ass!" Jeffy said.
Everyone glared at him.
"I mean, he DOES have a-" Chris tried to say before getting whipped with the Lasso Of Truth. "OUCH! What the heck Diana?!"
Diana looked at him as if he was a super villain.
"Whatever, join the others as I introduce the next few contestants."
Wonder Woman still looked pretty pissed at him.
"Next guy is Nightwing, Batman's OG sidekick turned full fledged hero. I just want you guys to know that, if you know his secret identity, do NOT say it out loud, cause it MIGHT just hurt his feelings. There he is!"
Nightwing quietly walked towards the dock. "Seems my competition's more...unique looking than I thought."
"Nightwing! How you doing man?" Chris asked.
"Pretty well for someone who's constantly fighting crime. This place should be like a vacation by comparison."
"Weird choice for one but you do you." Chris replied. "Go stand with the others then."
"Okay but before that, did you get my memo about editing out any footage revealing my identity?" Nightwing asked.
"Sure did."
"Good."
After Nightwing was out of his earshot, Chris whispered something to the audience. "I lied."
Next camper came out the boat looking confident. Then he fell down and hurt himself almost immediately because he forgot to tie his shoes. "ARGHHH!" He yelled out.
He was a medium height and somewhat overweight middle aged man with spiky hair and green coat.
He got back up on the ground and looked embarrassed.
"Hey Pal! Name's Dick Gumshoe. I work for the LAPD as a homicide detective, investigating many high profile crime scenes, often badly, but that's beside the point."
"A cop? Crap, I gotta hide!'' Yelled Plankton as he hid himself behind Ash.
"Ooooook." Gumshoe said. "So long as none of you pals try to do anything illegal, I won't bother you."
Chris whistles with a worried expression. "'Kay, go with the others detective."
Next up came a particularly iconic character. He flew with his jet pack all the way to Chris himself.
"Woah, is that Boba Fett?" Asked Johnny Cage. "I almost played him in a movie once."
"Sure is!" Chris replied. "How you doin' Bob?"
Boba Fett didn't look particularly excited. "I'm just here to learn what my bounty is, don't care about these strange creatures."
"Yeah, about that." Chris said while glancing in the other direction. "I lied. You're gonna compete in a reality TV competition for a crap ton of cash, not one of your typical missions."
Boba aimed his gun at Chris, making the latter very scared. "Whoa bruh! It's ok! If you win the competition you'll get 1 billion credits! More than enough to retire from bounty hunting and live a good life."
"I'm listening." Said Boba Fett as he raised his gun down.
"You just gotta not get voted off man, super easy!"
"Sounds simple, far more than other missions I've been tasked with for smaller rewards."
"Good thing you hit the jackpot my man!"
After Fett, the next camper seemed kinda out there. She was a hot AF zombie girl with the typical green skin and also some dark green hair. Her outfit's quite...appetizing with shorts, a short tanktop and skull earrings.
"Yo Rottytops, what's up?" Asked Chris.
"Pretty good, do you?" Asked back Rottytops before she threw her head right in Chris's arms.
"AH!" He screamed as he threw her head right in Gumshoe's face, who simply said a mild "Ouch" and moved on.
"Heh, you shoulda seen that look on your face man!" Laughed out the Rottytops head as the rest of her body put it in place.
"Yeah, this girl's a menace." Chris bluntly said.
"Wow Chris, how do you get all these big tiddy bitches on this shit?" Jeffy said before Rottytops's arm moved around to slap him in the face.
"Okay, so our next camper is another rich contestant. His dad was an influential business man who I have a lot of respect for, so don't be too harsh on him."
Then came that contestant. He was a middle aged, maybe even elderly man who was already graying and wore a "rich guy" suit similar to Nick.
"So this is the place? My ranch looks a lot less dumpy than that." He remarked.
"I've been told that like a million times Connor, cuz that's the point, idiot."
"I-I'm just making a mild observasion Chris, I'm not trying to start trouble, that's n-not who I am." Connor replied.
"I don't care." Chris also replied. "Go where everyone else is, the game will start in about 10 minutes anyway."
"Fine, if you say so." Connor said as he went to the rest of the cast.
The final female contestant didn't arrive from the boat. Instead, she came straight from the sky, with the help of her trusty old pegasus.
She had long, flowing red hair along with matching partially red armor, with the rest of it being white.
"This is Cordelia, a member of Ylisse's Pegasus Knight Squad, and one of their more prestigious members at that."
"No need for an introductions Chris, I don't think I'm that interesting to warrant one." She said.
"Quite frankly I don't care. Go with the others." Chris replied.
She did just that.
"And last but certainly not least, our final contestant. He's the main man behind the highly popular (somehow) Garten Of Banban video games, none other than Banban himself!"
The last contestant had arrived from the boat rather nonchalantly. He was a strange, cartoon devil creature who looked like he was drawn by a 3 year old (he probably was).
"Banban, got anything to say to your competitors?" Chris asked him.
"Um, not much, no, not at all." He says. "I'm simply here to win and nothing more."
Banban than sheeply goes to the now 36 people group.
"This guy's hella suspicious." Chris mutters to himself.
"More like hella sus!" Mr. Cheese responds.
"Ok, we've got our cast up and ready!" Chris claims. "Is everyone ready?"
All the characters raise their hands except Toby Queef, who was doing something I can't mention, Frisk, who just stood there, Homer, who was still unconscious, and Jeffy, who was looking the other direction.
"Good. Now let's sort you guys, gals and whatever Frisk is into teams!"
"Oh, I really, really really want to have Sonic on my team." Amy proclaimed loudly. "We're gonna have the bestest love story this show's ever seen!"
"And here I thought your obsession with me had been toned down." Sonic snarked.
"[INCOMPHREHENSIBLE DUCK NOISES]"
"So long as I'm not on the same team as that guy." Rottytops said, pointing at Jeffy. "I think I'll be fine with any combination baby."
"Glad to hear all your comments guys." Chris smiled. "As for the teams, the first one consists of:
Pillow
Mae
Mr. Cheese
Ash
Player
Monika
Lumpy Space Princess
Connor
Nick
Sonic
Cocoa Cookie
and Homer"
That last one actually woke Homer up. "Me? Did Mr. Burns give me a promotion?"
"Why did it have to be him?" Nick asked. "Almost anyone else would have been better."
"I for one want to know why I'M not with Sonic!" Amy exclaimed.
"Because that makes for better drama." Chris told her. "Now, the second team consists of:
Frisk
Nichelle
Toby Queef
Dee Jay
Bea
Banban
Sanders
Donald Duck
Boba Fett
Amy
Cream
and Wonder Woman"
"At least we're on a team Amy." Cream said. "That's gotta be good."
"Yeah, I say so."
Nichelle went over to Bea with a smug smile. "Looks like we gonna have a lotta opportunities to settle the score girl."
"If you want to break all your bones trying to bloody beat me, do it then."
Toby Queef then interrupts them."I for one want to know why A THIRD OF OUR TEAM IS JUST NI-"
"This is a family show sir, stuff like that is an obvious no no." Chris stopped him before he could say you-know-what.
"Anyhow, the last team is...
Mona
Ashley
Leafy
Cabby
Cordelia
Rottytops
Plankton
Brody
Nightwing
Jeffy
Johnny Cage
and Gumshoe"
"Thank fuck our team's got some fine bitches!" Jeffy exclaimed before he smacked his diaper.
"Pervert." Ashley remarked.
Johnny looked disappointed at his new team, to say the least. "Any team with the retard is the worst one by default."
Chris then went ahead to the first team. "Aight, Team A, it's time to pick your team name! What I'll it be?"
Mr. Cheese raised his hand. "Oh, since Mr. Cheese has been a good good boy, I suggest we caww ourselves Team Cheese!"
Connor wasn't pleased. "Mr. Cheese, that's way too narcissistic. How about Team Connor?"
"Team Cheese!"
"Team Connor!
"Team Cheese!"
"Team Connor!"
"Guys, sharing cocoa is better than fighting!" Yelled out Cocoa Cookie.
"She's right you know. A cup of cocoa never hurt anyone." Connor admitted.
"So that's why we should be called Team Cocoa!"
"WHAT THE FU-" Connor yelled before Chris shut him up.
"Ssssshhhhhh, family show, remember?" He whispered. "And yes, from now on, team A will now be known as Team Cocoa!"
We see a team logo of a cup of cocoa form onto the screen.
"This is by far the worst team name in the history of Total Drama." Nick remarked.
"As for Team B, what name do you want?"
Cream started to hop like the rabbit she is. "Oh oh oh, I got one! Amy, since we're on the same team and the scary devil mister is big like Big himself, got any idea?"
"Yes Cream, I do." Amy replied. "How 'bout we become Team Rose?"
"The arrogance in these people is strong." Boba Fett claimed.
"I don't know mon, that name I can get behind." Dee Jay chimed in. "Roses are beautiful, after all."
"Then I suppose it's settled, you guys are Team Rose!"
On que the team logo, which was that of a rose, appeared on screen.
"That name's fuckin' gay!" Toby Queef yelled.
Chris simply ignored him. "Anyhow, now it's time for the last team to pick their name! First suggestion wins!"
"Let's be Team Pee-pee." Jeffy said.
"Team Pee-Pee it is then!"
Everyone on his team glared at Jeffy.
"Y'know how I said my team had the worst name?" Nick said. "I take that back."
"God, why were you allowed on this show?" Johnny told him.
"WELL FUCK YOU TOO YOU DUMB FUCKIN' ASSHOLE!"
"BE NICE!" Leafy yelled to Jeffy.
"FUCK YOU, FUCK THIS, AND FUCK-" Before Jeffy could actually finish yelling, Cabby put him into her bottom file cabinet to get him to shut up.
"WOW Cabby, that was so nice of you!" Leafy told her. "Wanna be friends? I mean, we're already friends but now we can be like SUPER friends!"
Cabby looked happy. "Sure. Never really had that offered to me before, so you KNOW I'll want to."
"Ok, now that you're done naming your teams, I must re-introduce a crucial aspect of the show." Chris began. "It's our trusty old confessional in the bathroom. There, you can air your dirtiest laundry both literally and figuratively."
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Confessional: Player
Player: So I can say whatever I want here? Cool. Though I'm sure someone will do that to say something really bad. Anyways, I'm in this to win, and I think I'm smarter than about, say, half the cast, so I'm pretty much guaranteed to make it halfway through, as long as I do good in challenges.
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Confessional: Bea
Bea: I came here to challenge myself with people who I couldn't have possibly battled in my universe, but first impressions, thus far, are mostly disappointing.
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Confessional: Ash Ketchum
Ash: Shame Pikachu wasn't allowed to come with me, it would've been so fun together!
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Confessional: Brody
Brody: Yo Geoff, you see this? I'm on Total Drama! It's gonna be WICKED with me here!
Chris opens the confessional door.
Chris: Dude, keep it quiet would you?
Brody: 'Kay dude.
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Confessional: Nick
Nick: I much prefer that other show's confessionals, since at least I know there that they don't film me bloody pooping all over. But anyways, my team, for the lack of a better word, sucks. We've got an idiot who says his name all the time, an idiot who has no idea what is going on, an idiot who constantly looks at her phone, and some girl obsessed with cocoa. I'm fucked.
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Confessional: Amy
Amy: When I was researching Total Drama and found out how many sweet, sweet romances happened there, I was PUMPED, excited that this will be my way of finally getting Sonic to admit his feelings, and I feel this'll happen in about, say, 4 episodes tops.
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Confessional: Sonic
Sonic: Amy's regressed back into a simp, great. At least Cream's here, and she's fine.
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Confessional: Cabby
Cabby was writing something in one of her files.
Cabby: Hmmm, the amount of I'll have to write in these here files for my fellow contestants, especially compared to Inanimate Insanity, is staggering.
She puts her file back in her cabinet.
Cabby: I hope Leafy doesn't feel too strongly about writing so much personal information, because after all, I very much need it with me at all times.
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Confessional: Jeffy
Jeffy just smacks his diaper the whole time, not saying a word, at most having a derpy ass face.
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Confessional: Pillow
Pillow: I'm currently analizing which of these people would satisfy my urges. Currently, Jeffy, Toby Queef, Homer, Mae, Chris and Leafy are at the top of my list with me, Player, Gumshoe and Wonder Woman at the very bottom. Note that no one is safe, not even me.
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Confessional: Leafy
Leafy: MY WHOLE TEAM'S AWESOME! E-Except Jeffy, and Johnny, and Ashley, a-and...
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Confessional: Nichelle Ladonna
Nichelle: After 2 early 'liminations this girl's gettin' to the finals FOR SURE! If I can beat that dumb Bea, I might as well be immune to the top 4.
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Confessional: Connor
Connor: Hey Conheads! I've come here to suggest voting ME for next election! I've been interested in politics from a very young age, so I probably have more knowledge of America's issues than these guys here. So just gonna remind you, a vote for Connor is a vote for honor!
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Confessional: Cocoa Cookie
Cocoa Cookie was chugging down a cup of cocoa as usual.
Cocoa: Nothing beats a good ol' cup o' cocoa.
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Confessional: Dick Gumshoe
Gumshoe: Hey pals! I came here to say Pillow scares me! Bye!
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Confessional: Cordelia
Cordelia: I promised my lord that I will do well in this game. Not sure if I will, but I'll try my best.
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Confessional: Homer Simpson
Homer: Ah, where am I? Did all the beer I drunk make me hallucinate again? Well if it did, this is a pretty cool hallucination.
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Confessional: Johnny Cage
Johnny: This whole freakshow is like an SNL skit, and one of the worse ones at that. Thank god for this handsome face, or else the ratings would've cancelled the show after episode one.
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"Now that we've established how the show works." Chris began. "Our first challenge shall commence! Meet me at the cliffside in an hour or two, there, you'll experience a recreation of our very first challenge on Total Drama!"
"Leave it up to Mr. McLean to not bother doing anything original." Sonic remarked in his usual snarky tone.
"At least I know what works, unlike you, Sonic!" He replied, shocking Sonic.
Chris coughed a bit. "Anyway, I suggest to go to the cliff right...now!" Chris then called a helicopter to take him straight to the top of the iconic Wawanakwa cliff.
Almost everyone groaned that they had to walk all the way over there.
"Good thing I'm a fast guy." Sonic said before he ran at supersonic speed and instantly arrived at his destination.
"Hey, we should at least be happy someone from our team arrived first." Player remarked. "As for us, well, we're gonna need to walk a lot slower."
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Confessional: Boba Fett
Boba Fett: Normally, I would simply fly there with my jetpack, but I've decided to save it for later, in case I'm considered a threat for having one.
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It had been around an hour after Chris left, and all 3 teams were about halfway though their trip.
First up was Team Cocoa, who were struggling with their energy at the moment.
"Ah, my feet are killing me." Nick complained. "T-This sucks so much."
"OMG, I know right?" Lumpy Space Princess replied. "I feel like I'm gonna, like, pass out at any moment!"
"You're literally floating, how can you get tired?" Player asked.
"Have you ever fwoated Pwayer?" Mr. Cheese asked him back.
"I've been ejected into space countless times in Among Us, and so have you."
"Since when did it take so long to walk to Moe's place?" Homer also asked.
"And do you have any idea what is going on?" Player said.
"Like I ever do."
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Confessional: Monika
Monika: Why did I ever sign up to this show?
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With Team Rose, they were having a much easier time walking than the others, with no one getting exhausted at all.
"This is getting boring mon." Dee Jay said. "I heard the show was gonna be fun, yet all we've done is walk around for hours like minimum wage workers!"
"Oh It'll get fun sooner or later Dee Jay." Nichelle told him. "If you consider constant threats to your life fun."
"Good to know that mon! Any unusual activity is fun for me!"
"Amazing to see such positivity from somebody." Wonder Woman remarked.
"Positivity is for fags only!" Toby Queef yelled out.
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Confessional: Toby Queef
Toby Queef: Fuck you!
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Sanders was annoyed by that comment. "You're such a vile person you know. Cream, don't listen to anything this man says.
"Okay Miss Sanders."
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Confessional: BanBan
BanBan: All this constant drama from everyone is draining my soul, even more so than what happens in my games.
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Now all the teams were at the cliffside, ready to go all the way to the top.
Team PeePee were the second team to arrive, mostly because Jeffy forgot how to walk several times for some reason.
Brody started yelling in excitement. "WOOH! We're at the cliff! Take that other team!"
Ashley butted in. "We still need to reach the top, idiot. So don't celebrate just yet."
"Whatever party pooper."
"Guys, I got a good idea!" Rottytops began. "How 'bout I split my body and y'all carry a part? That's one less person needin' to catch up with the rest."
"Can I take the titties?" Jeffy asked.
"No." Everyone else said in unison.
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Confessional: Rottytops
Rottytops: That kid can go suck it!
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And finally, everyone was at the top of the cliff. Team Cocoa came last but they technically got first place since Sonic got there immediately. Second were Team Rose, by far the strongest of the teams. Team PeePee, obviously, came in last.
Chris was there with them, ready to announce the challenge. "Congratulations to all three teams for making that 2 hour trip. Y'all must be exhausted right 'bout now? Except Sonic, he's been here this whole time."
"Sure I was man." Sonic replied.
"Unfortunately, due to this episodes's already long run time, I'm forced to end this here. Who will be the first one out? Which interactions of today are gonna be important later on? Are we even gonna make it to double digits episodes? Find out next time on...
Total!
Drama!
Multiversal Madness!"
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Aaaaand that's a wrap! Hope you guys enjoyed the first episode!
But anyways, do you have any critiques? Did I write anyone out of character(probably did)? Did a joke not land? I'm open for any criticism that isn't just insulting me.
A few notes before we end off:
-Chef will not be a co-host this time for a reason I can't get into. There will be 2 interns who will take his role, but I'd take around 3-4 episodes for them to come in.
-I haven't watched any episodes of SuperMarioLogan since 2017 or videos by Gametoons(who made Among Us Logic) since around mid-2021, so anything after that will just be disregarded. Which is good since their videos suck nowadays.
-Haven't played Street Fighter 6 but I have played 4, so Dee Jay's characterization is mostly from the latter.
-Ash is from the anime Pokemon canon, Bea is from the games.
-The latest season of BFDI, which Pillow is in, is still ongoing, but this takes place after it ends so I'll be vague about it for now.
-Boba Fett is from before Return Of The Jedi, because I feel it's more interesting to write than if he was from post-Book Of Boba Fett.
-Challenge suggestions are allowed!
Ciao!