Evening guys, I hope you're all well and taking care of yourselves. Onto the next chapter! Xoxo

Chapter 7 - Desired

The next week that passed was rather boring. Just lessons, lessons and more lessons. I kept the incidents with Lucius as far back in my mind as possible.

I was also managing to stay out of trouble, which caught the attention of Snape more than when I was misbehaving.

I was in my own little world, stirring my cauldron. My last lesson of the day. Potions.

The liquid was forming the colour that was necessary. Lost in my own thoughts, I jumped visibly at the voice that interrupted my pondering.

'Miss Rivera.' That familiar monotone voice spoke out behind me.

I tensed momentarily, then eased.

I turned my head to look over my shoulder, still continuing my stirring.

'Professor Snape?'

'Please see me after class.' His voice void of any emotion. No indication of what he would want to discuss with me.

'Yes, Sir.' I replied curtly before resuming my attention to my Potion. Curious as to what it is I've done wrong now.

The students filed out one by one as I stayed sat on my stool. Professor Snape sat at his desk as he waited for my classmates to clear.

The last student finally left, a quaint Hufflepuff who always looks lost. As the door closed behind them, I twiddled my thumbs in my lap.

'I wanted to see how you are doing, after your incident the other week.' Snape said as he stood, walking around the front of his desk.

I was shocked. Snape, being NICE!? I thought that night was a one off thing. Sympathy perhaps at seeing me in the state that I was in. But no. He genuinely is capable of caring. Weird.

'I am well, Professor. Thank you.' I smiled softly.

Snape nodded. And remained silent as if urging me to tell him what had happened.

I was absolutely no way going to tell him about what had happened. I don't want him to think any worse of me.

'Thank you again for helping me, Sir.' I said politely.

'Very well, Miss Rivera. You know where to find me if you find yourself needing to express any concerns.' Snape said in his usual professional teaching voice. He was just about to walk back around to his chair when I spoke without even thinking.

'Wait' Snape stopped in his tracks, spinning his head to look at me, his black hair gracefully swishing with his head movement.

'Professor, I...'

I stopped. I didn't know what I was going to say. But I know whatever would come out of my mouth would be more damaging than good. I desired him. Too much. Every lesson I sit and I admire him. Watch his every move. Watch his beautiful hands glide on his quill when he writes. Watch his teaching robes hug his muscles when they strain against the material with his movements.

Snape turned his whole body around to face me. He folded his arms and impatiently tapped his finger on the arm his hand was resting on, arching an eyebrow. I remained in silence.

'Yes, Miss Rivera?' He asked impatiently.

'Nothing. Sorry, Professor. I-I must go...' I said sheepishly before quickly gathering my things and bolting out the door without looking back.

What was that, Cleo? I scolded myself.

Snape remained stood where he was, utterly bewildered by her behaviour. But intrigued nonetheless. Of course, he knew better than to try and pursue a student. Regardless if she was of age or not, does not make it appropriate.

But Cleopatra Rivera was someone different. She was right on one of our first spats. She does indeed remind me of Lily... She's smart, beautiful, witty, mysterious, brave...

The last time Snape ever felt this way about someone was Lily.

He shook the thoughts from his head as he resumed his position at his desk. Trying to push away any thought of the girl. But he couldn't deny it, he'll never be able to do that. Every room she is in, he watches her. It's like nobody else exists. When she walks in, he feels a way he hasn't felt in many, many years. No matter how many times he reminds himself how wrong it is. With Cleopatra... the feelings felt right.

He sighed to himself, and rubbed his face with his hands.

He couldn't stop thinking back to that night. Seeing her so vulnerable, so scared. And how safe she felt with him. That was the night that everything changed for him.

From the insufferable know-it-all brat, to a young woman who was truly captivating him.

Besides, why would she be interested in him? The 'greasy bat of the dungeons'.

But she saw him for him. And not from others perceptions. He's seen the way she looks at him. The way she blushed in the great hall. The way she responded when he so stupidly let his mind run away from him, allowing himself to cross the boundary by running his thumb along her mouth. A scene that replays a lot in his mind.

He let out a growl of annoyance.

I wonder what she wanted to say to me...

Snape continued to think to himself.

'Your desire is forbidden, Severus. You cannot want her. And you can't have her. Stop it.

I was tossing and turning all night. I couldn't sleep for the life of me. I finally gave up and succumbed to my active brain.

I crept out of bed quietly, going to splash my face with cold water when my left arm began to sting.

'Ah!' I yelped out. I looked down at my arm, momentarily forgetting what was there.

'Merlin Mother of Shit.' I exclaimed whilst staring at the burning mark on my arm.

I'm being called.

In the middle of the night?

Does that mean the others have been to?

I visibly gulped. No. Snape can't find out. I can't face Lucius. I can't do it. I can't!

But you have to.

My eyes started to tear up as I quietly retrieved my robes and got myself dressed. The Death Eater robes that were posted to me the other day, magically appearing on my bed wrapped as a plain package with a concealment charm so no nosy onlookers could even guess what it was. I just threw them into the back of my wardrobe without a second thought.

I cast a disillusionment charm over myself and snuck out of the castle. I reached the outer gates, took a deep breath before pointing my wand to my mark, automatically apparating me to the destination everyone was at.

I landed with a pop. I was getting good at this apparating business.

'Oh for fuck sake.' I exclaimed when I saw the location.

Malfoy Fucking Manor again. If it isn't Snape's Office. It's here. I may as well just pissing move in!

Me and my disgruntled mind walked our way into the Castle.

As I was about to reach the first step of the grand stairs, I saw a dark figure walking up them. I instantly recognise that walk and billowing cape from anywhere.

Severus Snape.

Shit. shit. Shit.

Private meetings meant no need for a mask. So I couldn't even hide myself.

I was about to turn and hide behind the pillar next to the stairs; but Snape's spy ears were a lot better trained than I thought.

His head snapped around faster than I could move.

'Who is-'

His entire body froze. He stood so still on the step he had reached, you would think he was glued to it.

My eyes shot to his. Quickly flickering between his left and his right eye.

Snape's eyes were wide in shock. I saw his hands by the side of him tighten into fists. His eyes trying to read my face as if searching it for answers.

'No...' Was all that he whispered out.

'Professor Snape I-' I rushed up the first few steps to him but he held up a hand. Stopping me in my tracks.

'Don't.' His tone cold.

I stepped backwards down a step, stung by his tone. I looked down in shame.

Snape turned and continued his way to the top of the stairs.

'Professor, please. I'm begging you.' Again, he froze at my voice. This time, remaining with his back to me.

'I never meant for this to happen- it was out of my control- I wasn't- I didn't...' I was tripping over my own words.

Snape's hands tightening into fists again before he continued on his way in silence. Leaving me alone on the stairs.

I took a moment to regain my composure. Exhaling a shaky breath before heading to the top of the stairs and through the doors that will lead me to the main room.

I walked in, all eyes watching me as the fresh meat of the group made her way to her first Death Eater meeting.

The same table that me, Draco and Lucius ate at now occupied by members of Voldemort's followers.

I wanted to throw up.

I looked up and down the table, taking in everybody's faces. Some I recognised, Lucius, Snape, Bellatrix, Fenrir. And then there were some that I didn't know. That was until my eyes landed on the young blonde haired boy sat next to Lucius.

I almost collapsed to the floor.

Draco. Draco Malfoy. My best friend. A Death Eater.

We both looked at each other in shock and betrayal. My legs struggling to hold my weight as my knees threatened to buckle beneath the copious amount of pressure today was putting on me.

I straightened myself, and took a deep breath.

The only seat available was next to Lucius.

I rolled my eyes as he pulled the chair out, a grin on his face. I sat down and didn't even bother looking at him. Instead, I looked at the man sat straight opposite me. Snape.

Snape refused to look at me. Straight up refused.

His face emotionless, his eyes fixated on the seat that Voldemort was making his way towards as he 'welcomed' the group.

'My followers...' His voice was so silky yet so deadly.

'Please, let us make our new member feel welcome. Cleopatra, please stand.'

It wasn't a question.

I stood, resting my hands on the table in front of me to steady myself.

'Miss Rivera here has taken it upon herself-' I wanted to shake my head at that. Nothing about this was voluntary.

'-to join our ranks. As we are all aware, her father is very well known for his discoveries of magic from across the globe. And Miss Rivera here will be a huge aid in the downfall of Harry Potter.'

Nope. Nope. Didn't sign up to ANY of this. Especially the helping to kill Harry Potter part. I don't like him, doesn't mean I want him bloody dead.

Snape's head snapped to me then, I could see the shock in his eyes. The disappointment. The anger.

I couldn't face him. Instead, I stared down at the table.

Lucius placed his hand on top of mine that was resting on the table, curling his fingers around mine. 'Welcome. It is an absolute pleasure to have you on board.' His voice sickly sweet.

I snatched my hand away from his.

Snape watched the interaction with an arched eyebrow. His eyes flashing between me, then Lucius, then Draco.

He knew all about Draco as well... what in Merlin's beard is going on. So many secrets. And now, I'm one of them.

The rest of the meeting was fairly dull. I wasn't paying too much attention, my stomach was too riddled with anxiety to be able to focus on anything.

When the meeting had ended and Voldemort had done his usual disappearing trick, everybody stood from the table to make their own exits. Nobody stayed to chatter like normal people would. Of course, there was nothing normal about being a Death Eater.

Draco was one of the first to leave, and Snape being one of the last. I was just about to chase after Snape as I watched him leave. Not once did he look at me after Voldemort 'introduced' me. Until somebody grabbed my wrist. Making me miss my chance of speaking to Snape as I stared longingly at his black cloak disappearing past the door as he exited.

I turned angrily.

'Not now, Lucius.' I hissed.

Lucius pulled me to him and began caressing my face. Me and him the only ones in the room.

'How was your first meeting, my girl?' He asked softly.

'YOUR girl!?' I yanked my wrist from his grip.

He looked taken back.

'I told you, never again, Lucius.' I spat. Going to leave but he grabbed my wrist again.

'But you know you can't resist me.' He smirked, roughly pulling my body up against his. Turning us so he could press my back into the table we all just sat at.

I hate how right he was about this. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

He grabbed me by the waist and lifted me so I sat on the table, placing one hand on my chest to push me back slightly. I used my arms to keep me propped up, my chest in the air in an arch. Lucius moved his other hand from my waist to my hair, yanking my head back so I was looking up as he ran the hand on my chest down, caressing my breasts as his hand trailed lower and lower to my crotch. At the same time, he brought his face close to mine, slowly inching forward to capture my mouth in a passionate kiss.

And for the third time, me and Lucius were going to fuck.

'DAMN IT, CLEO!' I yelled to myself just before I apparated back to Hogwarts grounds. Why can't my body just fucking reject him.

I appeared at the entrance to the school and made my way in. 2 hours had passed so it was still dark, very early hours of the morning so I could still sneak back to bed before breakfast.

As I was rounding the bend to the dungeons, a figure came out of nowhere and grabbed me by the upper arm, dragging me along the corridor.

'What the-'

Before I could get my words out, I was forcefully shoved into a room. The door slamming shut and locking behind us.

The candles all automatically lit upon entrance, the flames dancing around in the furious eyes of Severus Snape.

I swallowed hard.

Shit.

Without a moments pause, Snape shoved me up against the door, one hand on my chest and the other with his wand in hand.

'Professor-'

'What are your intentions, Rivera?' He demanded as his knuckles became white around his wand.

'I don't underst-'

His wand came up to my neck this time. Digging the tip of it into my skin.

I whimpered.

'After the huge speech you gave about your disgust in me being a spy. And yet here you are. Showing up at a fucking Death Eater meeting. As a new member. You stupid girl.' His tone was dangerous. And hearing him swear for the first time, breaking another student teacher boundary, you knew shit was serious.

'Please-'

Snape was not letting me get a word in.

He dug the tip of his wand deeper into my neck.

'What is the end goal then? To prove some sort of sadistic point? Or are you genuinely one of them?' He snarled.

My eyes flashed angrily and I forcefully shoved him back.

'One of them' I repeated in disgust.

'I have seen the death, the pain, the suffering that these people have caused. I hardly put my hand up and fucking jumped for joy screaming 'pick me'.' I spat.

'How dare you speak to me like that.' Snape said angrily. Advancing on me again.

'Whatever your excuse is, there is no good enough reason to come up with to explain how you got caught up in a situation like that to begin with.' Snape growled.

Damn it. I can't tell him the truth. Because then I'll just sound like a whore.

'Prey tell me how one day Lucius Malfoy is storming in the castle hunting you down, and a few weeks later, he's entranced by your mere existence?' Snape's eye twitched. Referring to the incident at the table during my 'welcoming'.

He desperately wanted, or needed, answers.

Again I remained silent.

'Something quite simply isn't adding up, Miss Rivera. And believe me, I'm going to find out what it is.' Snape said seriously.

He genuinely looked disappointed behind all of that anger.

He grew to admire her, to desire her, all for it to be snatched away from him and his world to come crashing down within just an evening. He's convinced himself that he can just never be happy. Part of him doesn't want to know her reasoning for becoming a Death Eater. The other half was holding onto hope that there was a valid explanation. He wanted to grab her, shake some brain cells into her, then kiss her senseless. Too many emotions were ebbing through him.

'Leave.' Snape stated, stepping back from her.

I looked down and nodded.

Just as I was turning to leave, his voice halted me.

'You're playing with your life, Rivera.' He actually sounded... concerned?

'And Draco?' I questioned, looking over my shoulder.

'Is not a story for me to tell.' He said shortly.

I slowly turned to face him.

'His father forced him, didn't he?' It was rather more of a statement.

Snape raised an eyebrow.

'That night... when you helped me...' I began, my voice shaking at the memory.

Snape's eyes widened in realisation.

'Lucius was here and...' I was struggling to get my words out. But Snape was a smart man. He could piece it together.

'You know Draco was forced by his father because... you were forced by him to?' Snape asked. Slowly tucking his wand into his sleeve as his eyes flashed with murder like tendencies.

I nodded.

This secured Snape's rage. But this time, not at Cleo.

'When you left, I headed to my next lesson...'

'...Yes, I was told you were absent.' The cogs were turning and the puzzle pieces were fitting together.

'He kidnapped me.' I said bluntly.

Snape froze.

'He what?' He gripped onto the table next to him, making it look like he was leaning. But I could tell it was because he needed to keep his hands busy so he didn't throw or punch something.

'The reason he was after me that day is because we had a run in some time back. I had no idea who he was then.' I said honestly.

'I went down an alleyway, bumped into him, I tried to poison him, and ran off leaving him to die. This was his-'

'-Revenge.' Snape finished the sentence for me. His lips tightening, his eyes trailing off. He genuinely looked like he was about to murder somebody.

I let out a shaky sigh.

'I should've stayed with you, walked you to your next class.' Snape turned away.

'Professor, no, please don't blame yourself.' I walked towards him. His back still turned to me.

'I should've known. I should've safeguarded you better, then this wouldn't have happened.' His hand came up to his face to rub it angrily.

I lifted a shaky hand and placed it onto his shoulder. He tensed briefly but relaxed at my touch.

Odd.

'I'm sorry.' Were the two words he whispered out as his hands dropped to his side.

He felt responsible for losing Lily. And now he feels responsible for Cleo being in danger and possibly losing her.

He couldn't contain himself any longer. The feel of her hand on his shoulder tipped him over the edge.

He turned around to face me, he cupped my face gently with his right hand, and placed his left hand on my waist. Slowly he leaned his head down. I closed my eyes, my stomach filled with butterflies.

This is it. The moment has finally come. I'm about to be kissed by Severus Snape.

But he stopped. Hovering over my mouth. So close that just a fraction of an inch closer, we'd be kissing. I could feel his breath on me.

I opened my eyes as I felt his hands leave my waist and my face. Leaving a tingling sensation in its place. The ghost of his touch still on me.

I was visibly hurt.

Snape turned away, not showing any emotion.

'Get out.' He whispered.

And I did.

I ran. I ran to the common room, sank to the floor and sobbed.

Snape was still stood standing in the same spot. Inwardly kicking himself.

She's your student. What were you thinking?

She's vulnerable. It's not right. By god do I want her.

Snape let out a roar as he picked up a book off his desk and launched it at the wall. The sound echoing around the room as it fell to the floor. The image of her face looking so hurt at his rejection repeating over and over in his mind.

She does want me. She desires me too.

I don't know what to do. I have already failed to keep her safe.

Snape sank to his knees, and for the first time since Lily, a single tear ran down his cheek.

End of Chapter 7! Have a good week guys xoxo