A/N: Revised as of 4/15/2024.

"That ero-knight…"

Kazuma muttered under his breath, his eyebrow twitching irritably as he recalled the events at the Dustiness manor.

Even after all the trouble Darkness had put him through, asking for his help and then acting up in the worst possible moments, it took both his and Naruto's combined efforts just to put that woman in her place, and it almost hadn't been enough.

Kazuma relented a sigh and forced himself to relax.

It just wouldn't do to worry over such things. The past was the past and now that Darkness was back with them, they could finally go on a quest as a full party for the first time since the Destroyer's defeat.

After all, the lady at the police station was counting on them.

Kazuma stretched his arms out towards the sky and stifled a yawn. It was still fairly early in the morning and he was heading towards the inn that Naruto stayed at to retrieve the useless priestess of his party. The long, mostly empty road that stretched towards the main part of town was completely empty.

Aqua was still going to Naruto's place at the brink of dawn every morning to laze around and eat snacks all day.

"I'm seriously worried about that guy… I hope he isn't having some weird awakening. Letting that girl continuously take advantage of him like that. Those two have been having suspicious developments lately too…"

Voicing his concerns to no one in particular, Kazuma was just entering the main street of town when he noticed a familiar figure.

A young woman clad in a blue nun's attire seemed to be in a heated argument with some Eris Cultists.

'Ah. It's blonde Aqua.'

Kazuma thought when he identified the troublesome woman and glanced at the Eris Cultists sympathetically. Dealing with the Axis Cultist was always a hassle, it made him wonder if they were all like that.

As if sensing his sympathy, the Eris cultists turned towards the teen and sent him pleading looks.

Kazuma tried to avert his gaze, but when the Axis Cultist followed their gazes, her eyes lit up with recognition.

'No! Don't look over here, you idiot! They'll think we're acquainted-Ah! They're walking this way!'

"Thank you for rescuing me from those evil Eris Cultists! If I wasn't already betrothed to that man as his concubine, I might have fallen for you~! By the way, you'd seem sooo much manlier if you joined the Axis Cult."

Cecily cooed while sneakily slipping an Axis Order registration form into Kazuma's adventuring bag.

What nonsense was this woman saying?

"Don't give me that! Where do you get off giving those Eris Cultists so much trouble this early in the morning? Also, was that a pile of stones I saw at your feet? We just earned enough money to pay off the debt YOU collected. Are you trying to bring in more!?"

Kazuma barked while taking the form out of his bag and ripping it to shreds. But the priestess didn't seem the least bit fazed by his actions. In fact, she continued walking with a skip to her step.

"I was simply minding my business as an innocent bystander when I noticed a fellow Axis Order member getting ripped off by that devious shop owner. So, being the kind Onee-san that I am, I distracted the shop owner with my voluptuous figure while my comrade made their escape!"

Cecily valiantly revealed, prompting the adventurer to falter in his footsteps.

"That's a crime! I bet those Eris cultists paid for the stolen goods too… You better go to their sect and apologize later."

Kazuma demanded while pointing an accusing finger at the carefree nun.

"But the shopkeeper kicked me out for some reason! He must swing the other way, or he's an Eris Cultist. But that doesn't excuse him from ignoring my feminine charms that are second only to Aqua-sama herself, so I decided to exact revenge by throwing rocks at their windows! But then those Eris Cultists showed up to stop me from delivering a just punishment."

Cecily continued with puffy cheeks, and it would have been extremely cute had she not been talking about yet another crime.

"…We're going to properly apologize to that shop owner later, alright? If not, I'm telling Naruto and he'll probably kick you out for a couple of days as punishment."

Kazuma said after a brief pause, adding the second bit when the girl tried to protest.

Not wanting to get locked out of her life of leisure, Cecily decided to change the subject.

"So what is Kazuma-san doing out so early? From the stories I hear from Lady Aqua every day, I would have assumed that you wouldn't surface until at least noon."

Surface? What was he, a creature? Kazuma really wanted to slap this girl alongside that bratty goddess who was telling her follower such useless things.

"I'm feeling quite motivated today, thank you very much. My party is going on a quest, so I'm picking Aqua up. Then we're going to the adventurer's guild."

Kazuma explained, intentionally leaving out the part where he tried to trick Megumin and Darkness to fetch their remaining party member so he could sleep in.

Instead, he had been forced to run when Megumin threatened to dump a bucket of cold water on his sheets if he didn't "own up to being their leader" and get Aqua by himself.

Talk about rude. Why did his sanctuary have to suffer?

Cecily hummed in response, her eyes taking on a rather pleasant light to them. She stopped and stared into Kazuma with her blue orbs.

Again, it would have been very cute if this girl wasn't a carbon copy of Aqua in terms of personality. Instead, it was making the boy rather uncomfortable.

'W-what is this… Did she see through me? There's no way this girl who's a carbon copy of that goddess with a laughable intelligence stat could-'

"Hmm… I see. Look! We're here!"

Cecily chirped with an eye smile before she pointed towards a building in the distance.

Letting go of a breath he hadn't known he was holding, Kazuma looked past the nun just in time to see the inn explode in a plume of dust and debris.

"Eh?" x2

Cecily and Kazuma said in unison as a giant toad hopped out of the now gaping hole in the building, scaring the nearby townsfolk out of their skins.

Landing on the ground with a thud, the enormous amphibian raised its head towards the sky. A familiar pair of blue boots that were sticking out of the beast's mouth started sinking further into the monster's throat.

"Is that… Aqua!?"

Kazuma balked when he recognized the Arch Priest's boots, for this very scene had played out before him countless times in the past… Only this was the first time it was happening in the middle of town.

The few people that were walking about screamed at the sight of the giant toad and scrambled to flee from the area.

'How did the toad get-No… Now isn't the time to ask such things, I have to save that idiot!'

Kazuma thought and drew his sword from its holster at his side. But just as he took his first couple steps, someone rushed past him at an incredible speed.

"How dare you eat Aqua-sama, you foul beast! Feel the wrath of the Axis Cul-Glub!"

Cecily shouted, her words coated with vengeance. But just as she lunged at the toad it simply opened its mouth, allowing the girl to harmlessly fall right in next to Aqua.

"Don't get eaten too, you fool!"

Kazuma shouted as he plunged his sword into the toad's back.

After having a brief talk with the authorities about the giant toad's sudden appearance, Kazuma had taken Aqua and Cecily back to the mansion so they could clean up.

Sometime after that, Kazuma, Megumin, and Darkness now stood in front of the couch closest to the fire pit. In front of him was Aqua covered by a thick blanket and Cecily who was wrapping a supportive arm around the girl's shoulder.

Normally the goddess(self-proclaimed) would have bawled her eyes out while complaining non-stop after being eaten by a toad, but the girl hadn't muttered a single word since they got home.

"Aqua… What happened?"

Kazuma tried asking the bluenette for the umpteenth time, only to once again receive silence.

"I should have gone… Had it have been me to get Aqua, I could have-"

"-You would have 'sacrificed' yourself by jumping into the toad's mouth to save her, right? Honestly, your mind works like that this early in the morning? As expected of our party's pervert."

"!"

Darkness started speaking with her fist clenched in a tight ball but Kazuma cut her off with a quick retort, prompting the woman to pounce on him.

"Say something, Aqua… So we can understand what happened."

Megumin gently said while Kazuma and a flustered Darkness struggled against one another in the background, and to everyone's surprise, the girl spoke.

"Nowhere is safe…"

Aqua said in a low voice as she stared into the dancing flames, her eyes void of any emotion.

'She's completely traumatized.'

Kazuma thought with a flat expression as Darkness pinned him to the floor.

"…Unforgivable! We must find the devil who placed such a devious trap for Aqua-sama! They knew of her one and only weakness… Giant Toads!"

Cecily jumped to her feet and shouted.

"It's true. Leaving aside how this person managed to sneak a giant toad into town, much less the inn, whoever did this must have known Aqua was terrified of them."

Megumin said while shuddering at the thought of being consumed by the monster.

"Who do you think it was?"

Darkness asked as she relinquished her death grip on Kazuma, causing the boy to collapse onto the carpet.

This prompted the three functioning members of their party to nod their heads in unison.

"Naruto."

"Nonsense!"

Cecily instantly denied the accusation while swiping her hand through the air.

"How? Aqua was going to Naruto's room, wasn't she?"

"That's right. I don't know how he did it, but he probably pranked Aqua after she pushed him too far again."

"To think he would go as far as to destroy the inn like that with his prank… Amazing-No, I'm going to have to have a serious talk with that man."

Megumin, Kazuma, and Darkness said, but Cecily shook her head defiantly.

"No! Naruto would never do anything that would put Lady Aqua in danger! He's way too obsessed with her to do such a thing! I'll prove it!"

The nun declared when the others continued to seem unconvinced.

Wiz's Shop…

"Eh?"

Wiz said when she found herself sitting in the back room of her shop, a single lit candle placed at the center of the table illuminating the small space.

Slam!

The shopkeeper flinched when a pair of hands slammed on the table, and her attention snapped to Cecily who was glaring daggers at her.

"Are you aware of the giant toad that was sent to assassinate Lady Aqua at our sacred home of leisure and luxury!? Tell me!"

The nun demanded while pointing an accusing finger at the older woman.

"Oh my… I thought I heard something earlier this morning. I just dismissed it as a daily phenomenon like usual. To think that there was a giant toad inside town."

Wiz said while tapping her chin thoughtfully.

"That's right, and I know it was you! Wiz, owner of a failing magic items shop, wrecker of homes, and maker of a surprisingly decent tea!"

Cecily proclaimed before taking a quick sip of the tea the shopkeeper had brewed. Seriously, it was just as Lady Aqua said. Why was this tea so good? Didn't that woman say she only had cheap stuff?

"Thank you for that last part, but that other stuff is just mean and untrue!"

Wiz responded with teary eyes.

"Okay, hang on a second Cecily. What are you playing at? First, you go and storm into Wiz's shop and demand her to make tea, then you go and set up this interrogation room in the back?"

Kazuma asked, deciding it was time to chime in.

She didn't seriously suspect Wiz of all people to be behind the giant toad's appearance, did she?

"Heh… I wouldn't expect a common man who has yet to enlighten himself with the Axis Cult's teachings to understand."

Cecily said with a snicker before turning her attention back towards Wiz.

"It's obvious that this woman was trying to eliminate Lady Aqua so she could claim exclusive rights to that man's ramen!"

"…Huh?"

Kazuma balked. What was this girl talking about? Ramen? He remembered how much Wiz loved that food, what with that whole withdrawal nonsense that one time. Even the picky Aqua seemed to love the junk food Naruto made.

"But that's not all! My sources tell me your shop has been in the red for a while now… and it was only because Naruto brings you the food of the gods that you're able to eat a solid meal every day!"

Food of the what-now? Were they still talking about ramen? Also, if Cecily kept mentioning the shop's current financial state, Kazuma feared that Wiz was really going to cry.

"U-umm… It's true Naruto-san hasn't been showing up at the shop to help me out or bring me lunch as often as he used to… But he's been helping me out of the kindness of his heart! It can't be helped if he has other things to do!"

Wiz said while gripping at her purple cloak tightly, and it would have been quite a touching moment had her stomach not been gurgling the entire time.

The scene was so pitiful, Kazuma wanted to go out and buy the poor woman lunch right then and there.

"Lies! Confess! Confess that you are trying to rob Aqua-sama and me of our life of leisure! You homewrecker!"

"I-I'm sorry! You're mistaken, but I'm sorry!"

Cecily demanded while slamming the table repeatedly, prompting the shopkeeper to start apologizing hysterically.

The Axis Cult really didn't hold back, did they?

Sometime Later…

"It seems I was mistaken earlier… But no matter! For I captured the REAL culprit of this incident!"

"Mmmmfffff!"

The group watched as Cecily burst through the shop's doors with a gagged Dust over her shoulder.

Tossing the man into the interrogation seat, the nun placed one of her boots on the table and let out a laugh unbefitting that of her position.

'Are we witnessing a crime…?'

Kazuma thought and turned to his party members who had chosen to remain silent during the last "nunterrogation" session. They were enjoying a second batch of tea Wiz had made after being freed.

Maybe he should join them. That tea really was good. Wiz would probably be better off opening a tea shop.

"I always thought you had the eyes of evil, but I never thought you'd have the balls to do such a thing… Your motive can't be more obvious! Admit it! Admit that you were jealous of that man's relationship with beautiful women! You couldn't do anything against that guy himself, so you lashed out at his defenseless lady! What do you have to say for yourself, you fiend!?"

Cecily immediately started spitting out nonsense and removed the cloth from Dust's mouth, who instantly turned to Kazuma and shouted.

"Kazuma! Help! This crazed Axis Cultist suddenly showed up at the guild and bound and gagged me while blaming me for things I'd never do! This is abduction!"

The delinquent adventurer yelled at the top of his lungs while struggling against his binds.

Kazuma sighed and was about to put an end to this farce when Dust continued.

"My party didn't even do anything to try and stop her! That's weird, isn't it? Normally you would help your comrades if they were being kidnapped by criminals right before your eyes, right? They even said things like: "He probably owed the Axis Cult money" and "This is why you don't intermingle with the Axis Cult" and other strange things like that! Come on man, help me! If you don't, she'll probably sell one of my organs to make up for the money I borrowed! Or worse! She'll make me join the Axis Cult!"

. . .

"Say, shouldn't we just leave these two? I'm feeling quite peckish. Would you like to join us for lunch, Wiz? It'll be my treat to make up for earlier of course."

Kazuma asked the others and moved to walk to the exit.

"NOOOOOOO!"

"Tch… I thought I'd at least get some money off that man if I scared him a little, but he's always broke."

"Hey. What did you say just now?"

Cecily muttered something questionable under her breath and in turn, earned a suspicious gaze from Kazuma.

After releasing Dust and apologizing to Wiz for the disturbance, Kazuma led the group towards the adventurer's guild to search for Naruto.

To be honest, Kazuma really wanted to just go home and sleep. But with the state that Aqua was in, even he knew that Naruto was the only one who could snap the girl out of it. After all, it was definitely that man who put her in this state.

Normally, he'd just leave the girl be and take the day off. But they just got Darkness back, and he was really strapped for cash...

"Ah! I found our next suspect! You! Eris Cultist!"

Ignoring Kazuma's suspicion, Cecily suddenly shouted and pointed towards a certain thief.

"Eh?"

Chris started when she noticed the nun sprinting towards her at full force. Her instincts told her to run for it… So she did just that.

"Of course! Why didn't I realize before? Of course, the evil Eris Cult would target Lady Aqua's life! You even chose the perfect opportunity when that man and I weren't around, didn't you? Prepare yourself for divine retribution!"

Cecily accused as she chased the thief down the streets of Axel.

"W-wait! Don't worry Chris, I'll defend you from anything Cecily throws at you! No, really, get behind me! Ah… Why wasn't I interrogated?"

Darkness said with an almost longing face when Cecily started picking things up from random food vendors to throw them at the thief girl.

"What are you saying at a time like this? Just go stop that girl already! She's going to ruin all the food vendors, and who do you think is going to have to pay for it!?"

Kazuma retorted and Darkness, realizing what the boy said was true, took off after the two girls. The boy then looked around at the scene in front of him. He watched as people who had been knocked over helped each other back up, saw the food that now littered the streets, and a girl clad in red taking advantage of the commotion to swipe that food and place it into her bag.

"I want to go home."

He said and forced himself forward to help Darkness, who was having trouble subduing Cecily.

"I just want to make a normal appearance for once!"

Chris cried with teary eyes, her ears burning bright red as she ran for her life.

"That Eris Cultist was lucky she had such powerful reinforcements… I should have known that Crusader was in on it too. I'll conduct a nunterrogation on her later!"

Cecily sulked as she made her way up the hill towards the Eris Church.

"Don't worry, Lady Aqua… I, Cecily, the beautiful priestess of the Axis Cult shall avenge you by taking out my frustrations on this evil Eris Cult Chur-"

"Ah~! There really is something refreshing about confessing to a goddess… Hm?"

. . .

Cecily stopped mid-sentence when the doors to the Eris Cult Church opened and Naruto stepped out with a refreshing look on his face.

The two stared at each other for a few seconds.

"I don't know why, but somehow I get the feeling I should be very angry right now."

Naruto said, his jovial expression remaining unchanged.

"That's my line! What are you doing here looking so happy when your beloved is suffering right now!?"

Cecily shot back, the stone that she secretly held in her hand falling silently to the ground as she shouted.

The shinobi only continued to smile as the Axis Cultist took an uneasy step backward.

"B-because you were gone during the most crucial moments, everyone suspects you of being the one who pranked Lady Aqua with that toad... But don't worry! I, your future dependent, have worked tirelessly to prove-"

"Oh, that? Yeah, it was me. I've been at the Eris Church all day confessing my sins to make up for it."

Naruto interjected flatly, causing the priestess to fall flat on her face.

The Night Before…

"Aqua-chan~! Are you ready to go on that quest with Kazuma and them tomorrow?"

Naruto cooed, removing his apron as he walked towards his bed where the goddess was munching on snacks while reading a magazine.

"Don't wanna. Tell that HikiNEET I'm staying here."

Aqua replied without so much as looking up from the magazine.

"N-now now… We have a request from the lady at the police station. Megumin went with her last time to check things out and she said we'll need everyone's help with this one."

The shinobi continued as he sat next to the bluenette, and she actually lowered the magazine from her face to look the boy in the eye this time.

Seeing as the girl still wasn't budging, Naruto decided to pull his sure-kill move.

"I'll even pack you a special bento! It'll have your favorite "Naruto Special: Food of the Gods"! So, how about it? Why don't you come with us?"

He asked with a shaky smile, a bead of sweat rolling down the side of his face.

Aqua sighed and closed the magazine.

But just as Naruto was thinking he managed to convince the girl, she stood up and started walking towards the door.

"I'm bored, so I'm going to go to the adventurer's guild to have some fun at the bar. See you tomorrow morning."

Aqua said, but Naruto beat her to the door with a frantic look in his eyes.

"W-wait! What did I do wrong? Was your Food of the Gods not to your liking last time? I thought that would have convinced you…"

The blonde mumbled as he poked his fingers together, and the goddess let out a long, exaggerated sigh.

"I'm tired of eating ramen. You maxed out your Cooking skill, right? You should try making me something better. Then maybe I'll think about going on that quest. Anyways, I'm off~!"

Aqua chirped the last bit as she squeezed past the dumbfounded teen, but not before poking her head back in and saying.

"Oh, and you don't mind me putting my drinks on your tab, right? Right? I'm going to take your silence as a yes! Bye~!"

Slam!

. . .

"Something… Better?"

It was at that moment, something snapped inside of Naruto.

Present…

"No… It can't be…!"

Cecily said as she looked up at the shinobi in disbelief.

"Yup. It was easy too. One extra powerful Sealing Scroll from Ero-Senin, one giant toad, and a trap to activate it when someone opened my door. Simple, but with devastating effects."

Naruto explained his master plan as he stared down his fellow blonde, his eerie smile ever present.

"Then… Then that means all my hard work to prove you innocent was for nothing! I even failed to extort money from that useless delinquent, and that nasty Eris Cultist managed to get away from me! Thanks to that, I now owe the food vendors money for the damages they caused!"

Cecily said and pounded the ground in frustration.

"You did what…? Come on, let's go apologize to those people right now. How much do you owe them? We're going on a quest with Kazuma's party, ya know? Use that money to pay them back."

Naruto said and reached down to help Cecily off the ground. He was in too good of a mood right now to let such trivial things bother him. Although he felt exceptionally bad for that Eris Cultist for some reason.

"I even placed a holy barrier at that run down shop's door while Kazuma-san wasn't looking like Lady Aqua instructed me to do too!"

This stopped the boy in his tracks.

"…Aqua told you to do that? When?"

"This morning, of course. Just before I left to go and interrogate that nasty homewrecker! Ah… Poor Aqua-sama. To put such a kind and beautiful girl in such a state. You better make it up to her and spoil us rotten, you hear?"

Cecily scolded her fellow blonde like a mother would her child. But when he didn't respond, she looked up to find the boy beaming at her with a radiant smile that made the girl's blood run cold.

"Naruto… sama?"

"Alright boys, is the cart fully loaded yet?"

"Yessir!"

"Though I'm not really looking forward to this trip…"

"I know what you mean… Alcanretia is a little…"

At the front gates of Axel, a group of merchants were preparing for their journey to the City of Hot Springs. Needless to say, they weren't all too excited about it.

After checking to make sure all the wares were properly strapped in, the leader of the merchants called out again.

"Alright then, let's call the adventurers and head out-"

"Hey, this carriage is going to Alcanretia? Could I ask you to ship something for me? This should cover the short notice fee."

A man with blonde hair and blue eyes and an interesting pair of whisker marks on his cheeks suddenly tossed a sack onto the carriage and dropped a large pouch of coins into the leader's hands.

"O-oh… Yeah, this should cover it… You caught us right on time kid. But umm…"

The older man looked from the blonde teen to the sack that he swore was shifting slightly with an uneasy gaze.

Noticing the man's hesitance, the whiskered teen smiled reassuringly.

"Ah, don't worry about it. That's just a sack of potatoes I'm sending to the Axis Cult. It shouldn't be a problem, right?"

"R-right…"

The lead merchant said as the blonde placed another hefty pouch into his hands. Checking the contents of the pouches and confirming the amount of Eris, the man raised an eyebrow.

"Are you a noble, kid?"

The boy did have blonde hair and blue eyes, which were the trademark characteristics of nobility in the country.

"I'm not quite sure what you're talking about. Anyways, don't worry if that sack of potatoes falls out of the car while you're traveling. If you have to leave it behind to escape monsters, then that's fine too. But make sure this money gets to the Axis Cult. They'll treat you quite kindly when you do. Thanks, and have a safe trip!"

With that said, the strange teen waved his farewells and disappeared back into the town.

"…Boss, is this alright? That guy mentioned the Axis Cult, didn't he?"

"I think I recognized that man… I don't know about this boss."

Two of the leader's subordinates voiced their concerns as they stared at the sack that had long since gone still.

"…If you value your lives, then don't look into that sack no matter what happens. You got that?"

A/N: Thus ends Naruto's "pushover" phase.

I'm sure this chapter was long awaited for some, in more ways than one.