®The Witch and the Beast is the propierty of Kousuke Satake.

The girl and the beast

"I'm going to need your full cooperation on this job, Guideau," Ashaf asked.

Guideau, on the other side of the table, swallowed the entire hotdog, leaving some scraps at the corners of her lips.

"You don't need me for these shitty jobs, Ashaf, and you know it," she said. "Just leave me alone, unless it's a witch," she half growled, half murmured, her usual sharpness missing.

Guideau had been in quite a mood since her last encounter with Angela. The clues in Orlencia Sett had not yet yielded any results, and Guideau was no more than angry, just discouraged.

"I never said there were no witches involved," Ashaf replied with a sideways grin.

Guideau's eyes widened in anticipation.

"What..." She froze at the sight. Ashaf pulled out a black envelope, a signal she was well acquainted with.

Guideau took the envelope, rather quickly, and began to scan the contents of the letter. It was two full pages, detailing the circumstances. She was rather surprised when she finished, not really expecting it.

"The Order wants us to do what?"

Ashaf took a drag on his cigarette. "We must ensure the witch's safety before the townspeople get their hands on her. It's vital that we get custody of her, Guideau, so please do your best to apply everything I've taught you so far."

Guideau leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms.

"Is there a chance that bitch is in that body? I don't care about the other witches, I just want that woman."

Ashaf crossed his leg, making himself comfortable.

"It's hard to say. There might be a chance, but we won't know until we get there."

That seemed to work. Guideau leaned forward again and wolfed down another hot dog, her mood improving.

Ashaf seemed satisfied with that, and took the envelope back.

"We're leaving this afternoon. Tell Misha to prepare clothes for ten days. Tell her not to include anything above the knee," Guideau shot him a sideways glance, a knife in her mouth. "We should make a good impression," he said with one of his knowing smirks. Guideau nodded and continued to eat as much as she liked, knowing that she'd have to control her real appetite from the next day on.

They arrived early the next morning. It was a beautiful city on the Six Continent. Being so far from the headquarters of the global Holy Church, and at the same time so far from the eight continent, it wasn't a place that had yet developed a culture of magic. Guideau stepped off the train, wearing a floral dress that reached halfway to her ankles, her hair down, and a straw hat. Ashaf wore only a shirt and black trousers, with a matching hat as well. The clothes hung loosely from their bodies, dancing slowly at the whim of the wind. The weather was pleasant, and that was the first thing Ashaf remarked as they set foot on the ground.

"It's a beautiful day, isn't it? Maybe we should eat outside instead of in the hotel."

Guideau's neutral expression didn't change under the shadow of the hat.

"Whatever you say, just make sure I eat enough."

"Right, right, don't worry, I'll make sure you eat your fill. Just do as I say and don't attract any unnecessary attention."

"I know, you idiot," she said rather sharply, more out of habit than spite. Lately she had softened the way she spoke to him, but there were still occasions when she slipped back into her old habits and used rude words.

"Pronouns, Guideau," he reminded her.

She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Yes, I know," she growled. "Why should a few silly words mean anything?"

"Because, my dear, from now on we are no longer partners. We are a married couple looking for a child to adopt."

Guideau looked at him sideways and said nothing more.

The hotel was rather modest compared to the places they used to book. It had a small living room with just a sofa and two armchairs on either side, a small coffee table in front of it, and large windows that cast a long beam of light when the curtains were open. There was only one bedroom with a double bed and a bathroom. Guideau took off her hat as soon as she entered the room, the feel of the straw on her skin too unpleasant to wear. She was sensitive to certain textures and refused to wear anything that involved them. Ashaf had persuaded her to wear the hat, but she was already sick of it.

"What a shame," he teased. "It looked really good on you."

"Shut up and let's get out of here, I'm starving."

"Language, please."

Guidau threw her head back in annoyance. The instructions Ashaf had given for this job were already too much for her.

"There are a few things we need to discuss before we get there, Guideau," he had told her during a moment of privacy they had shared on the journey. "First of all, you will no longer refer to me with the pronouns you used to. Please, let me explain. People don't treat each other the way you do under normal circumstances. This 'you' you keep using is... rude. Not that I really care, but in this job, words matter. We're going to pose as a married couple. We need to give the impression that we are a happy couple who love and respect each other if we are to get hold of the witch without arousing suspicion. I know this is hard for you to understand, so please bear in mind that you'll have to tone down your language to give that impression.

"Stop beating around the bush, Ashaf! What do 'you' want from me?"

"That 'you' you just said," he smirked. "Leave it for the people in the orphanage. It shows respect, and it is neutral enough to address them. For me, at least when we are in public, please use this 'you'. It's the way a woman would speak to the man she loves. As for me, I'll refer to you in a similar way.

"You, you, noted. What else?"

"No swearing."

"Tch."

"And no alchool."

"What!"

"Impressions, remember? If it helps, know that I wont't smoke either. Not alone, not in public," he sighed.

"Ha!"

He seemed truly defeated, and Guideau almost felt bad for him.

"And most importantly. No magic. I won't use magic unless it's necessary. I'll cover my arms as well. As for you, no kicking, no using your strength. We don't want to blow our cover prematurely, do we?"

"So what? We just go there and ask them to give us the witch and that's it?"

"Pretty much. We'll just be two civilians who happen to be unable to conceive a child and desperately want a child to love. We'll focus our attention on the witch and bring her back to the Order once the adoption is arranged".

"What if it really is Angela?"

"Then you have the right to kick and scream as much as you like"

Guideau smiled broadly and showed her fangs. The twisted pleasure she felt at the prospect of getting her hands on Angela was indescribable.

"In the meantime, just act like a normal human woman. This job depends on you, Guideau. You need to do your best and make them believe you're the discouraged, barren woman who just wants to hold a child in her arms."

Guideau glanced at the ring on her ring finger. It was a simple silver circle, nothing special. Ashaf wore one too, and as he had explained, it was just for show. A show they would have to keep up until the job was done. Guideau followed Ashaf from the hotel room to the reception. There Ashaf asked for directions to the nearest restaurant and off they went.

They visited a few more places so that Guideau could satisfy her hunger. Ashaf was full by the second restaurant, so at the next three he just ordered coffee or water or a side dish and watched her eat. He looked almost miserable without his usual cigarette, and Guideau almost felt sorry for him by the fourth restaurant.

"Why don't you just go and have a drag in a bathroom or something? I've seen other people do it."

"I can't risk my clothes smelling of smoke, Guideau. They might notice."

Guideau continued to munch on her food, rather politely. It was such a waste of time in her opinion, but just like Ashaf, she had to sacrifice something to keep the cover.

When Guideau was finally satisfied, they took a short walk to familiarise themselves with their surroundings and to establish a possible escape route should the need arise.

By midday, Guideau was tired, so they returned to her hotel, where she took a much-needed nap. She stretched out on the bed while Ashaf devoted his leisure time to reading the local newspapers. He was flipping through the second paper when a headline caught his eye. He read the entire article and his demeanour changed to one of seriousness.

"This is worse than we expected," he said to himself. He put the paper down and rose to his feet.

Guideau was still asleep. She looked almost angelic in that sleeveless A-line dress. The soft shade of orange set off her blonde hair beautifully. She had taken off her earrings, except for the studs, and Ashaf had taken off his, too. No one would guess what Guideau was capable of from her appearance, and Ashaf was counting on that for the success of this job.

He stepped in and called out to her, making sure not to get too close. One of the things Guideau was capable of was breaking bones with a single blow, and she was quite a fighter when she was asleep, as Ashaf had witnessed before.

She sat up and rumpled her dress. Ashaf used a quick spell to fix her clothes, and motioned for her to tie up her hair. Once done, they set off for the orphanage, ready for the show.

This story is inspired on the book Earwig and the Witch by Dianna Wynne Jones! Such a whimsicaly awesome book!