Bruised hips. Hickies. Left breathless and broken after one forbidden night that we didn't know who knew about. When I asked her if there would be more of this,the long nights,the lust... She shook her head. I'd seen one side of her that I would never see again.

It was so amazing,but it broke my heart to know I could never have it. It tore me apart,and I've never felt something so heart-wrenchingly amazing. My mother warned me about things like this,desire,lust...that's exactly what it is,and it shatters me.

But you don't get to care,when you're sleeping with the enemy.

I was terrified when my name was drawn in the reaping.

I was terrified when they announced Katniss Everdeen would be there too,for her third Games.

And as I train,I am still terrified. Seeing Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark train together like that,to see Katniss so able while carrying his baby,takes me off-guard. She's barely eighteen. And something about Katniss lights my skin on fire.

I blink,going back to tying knots. I need to make sure I get my experience in. I've been tying knots,running,and boxing all my life. As I take a deep breath I use a trick my mother,Elice Barlow,taught me.

My name is Alma Barlow,I'm sixteen-and-a-half,I grew up in District 11,I like running,boxing,knot-tying,sketching,and hunting. I'm participating in the Games this year,they start in a day. I shudder as I tie another knot,thinking about it.

Fucking hell,I'll just die two minutes in.

When it's done,the participants are being ranked on a scale of zero to twelve. After a while,I see that I got an 11,Katniss got a 12,Peeta an 8,and the others that I couldn't ever be bothered to remember the names of were also ranked. Katniss gives me a cold,hard stare that I don't think was meant to turn me on.

I look back at my food quickly,and mutter, "Shit,no time for a crisis,just don't die in the next few days and you'll be fine!"

When I look back at Katniss,her and Peeta are whispering. She looks as deadpan hot- wait where did that come from- as usual.

After dinner is over,I lay in my bed,not even sure if I'm awake or asleep. It hurts to think about tomorrow. The less I sleep,the longer it is until I die. I hate the feeling that I didn't even know I could feel,all-consuming,horrible,insane dread.

My head hurts,and there's a stinging feeling in my heart,my chest feels empty knowing I won't go home again. Ever. Oh,it's so cruel,so shitty,and so wrong. I roll over. My chest feels so heartbreakingly empty. I'll never go back home,or I'll come back a goddamn murderer.

In the morning,I brush my hair quickly and go out to breakfast. In a minute,Katniss walks over,and whispers something to me. I just nod. She gives a satisfied smirk,and walks back over to Peeta- oh shi- What?! Katniss Everdeen, the champion of three Games just asked me to team up with her for a while in the Hunger Games! I'm not sure if I should be scared,or glad.

We all quickly finish our breakfast quickly,and they rush us out. We're standing on glass platforms with a blue light. The landscape has boulders,a forest,a lake to one side,sand,and some scruffy bushes.

I'd usually think it looks beautiful,but it lacks soul, meaning.

The timer starts and we all wait. It rings loudly. Katniss sets off running,Peeta close behind her. I sprint after them,catching up quickly. I'm not even tired by the time that I'm ahead of Peeta,just behind Katniss.

It feels natural,running behind someone,the wind in my short,curly blonde hair. I just wonder where Katniss is walking,her perfect long black hair falling behind her as she slows slightly.

I slow along with her,pacing myself carefully, I'm good at running and do endurance runs for fun but I don't like having to run very fast for long periods of time. After a while,I'm starting to ache,and Katniss suddenly stops.

As I bump into Katniss,Peeta pulls out a knife from who-knows-where,pins me down,and holds it against my throat. "Explain to me,what exactly you're doing,following us?!"

Shit,she didn't tell him?