[a/n-1]Sorry alix33, wasn't even thinking about rugby when I characterized Vernon. What I know about it wouldn't fill a thimble. Only that it seems more like USA football than USA soccer, which is what I was thinking of.

[a/n0]Luiz4200, I'm a bit stumped by family relationships. Is Marge even classed as James' sister-in-law? Being only related to HIS sister-in-law's husband. For that matter, is the James/Vernon connection even that of brother-in-law? That aside, as little contact as the Potters and Dursleys had prior to then, I'd think James wouldn't even remember Marge exists.

[a/n]If the prior solution was Lucius-inspired, this is Ron-inspired

Harry Does Different DXXc

Hero of the Shack NOT

It was with much regret, for multiple reasons, that Remus Lupin was preparing to depart Hogwarts. His werewolf senses served him well, not needing to even turn at the approaching footsteps few could even hear "Good morning, Harry."

"What! You're leaving?" the young wizard was outraged.

Nodding, Remus answered "I've resigned to avoid embarrassment to the Headmaster. The owls demanding my termination should begin arriving in hours. Seems word of my unfortunate condition has leaked out."

"You mean Snape has a big mouth!" snapped Harry, coming easily to the right conclusion. "And you're just going to roll over to that?"

The adult gave a sigh "Little to be done my young friend. But, as a consolation, I feel no compunction to returning this to you. Use it well."

"The map." Harry grinned as he took the 'spare bit of parchment' but the smile faded "O for effort. Big O in fact. And thank you. But don't distract me. Sure we got Sirius and Buckbeak clear, but while Snape was busy getting you fired did he at least to right by Sirius?"

Remus did not want to set the boy off, but any lie would be too easy to call out. With a sigh, he reported "Minister Fudge considers your testimony uncredible …specifically, on Professor Snape's belief that you were Confunded."

"That so?" thanks to magic, Harry's face actually glowed red. He spun on his heel and stormed off with a barely formed sketch of a plan. Nor was he much better by the time he reached the Great Hall. Simply shouting "Wouldn't know the truth if it bit you in the arse! Would you? Greasy-haired git!"

While Remus could have simply stunned him at any given time, he'd spent the walk trying to reason with the boy. Likely would have, had he known it would go this way. Now it was too late, except to stand aside.

"I will have your - -" the maligned professor surged from his seat.

Harry saw looks of awe on some faces, particularly male redheads. Others looked angry, or worried, or …Hermione's might best be described as appalled. He dismissed it all "Right. Let's be blunt. You're a bloody liar."

"Enough of that, Potter." From his Head of House overlapped with the more measured, from the Headmaster; who had a restraining hand on the Head of Slytherin's wand hand; "We do not make slanderous remarks, Harry."

The boy snorted contemptuously "Never bothered him. But, anyway, since it's important to Sirius …he told Minister Fudge he'd been knocked out, by Sirius… But we know that's a lie. It was ME hexed you. Want proof? Check Hermione's wand for an Expelliarmus."

"Assaulting a professor is a serious offense, Potter" said McGonagall, though she was feeling out of her depth.

Harry jumped on it "Actually Potter offense, not serious offense." To the amusement of some, but annoyance of others. "Sorry, never mind. Self defense anyway. He's also claimed to protect me, Ron and Hermione from Professor Lupin in his werewolf form. Plus, you somehow saw Sirius cast a Confundus spell on us. Getting a lot done for being out cold? Huh?"

"I am a Hogwarts Professor!" Snape declared angrily, while shooting a defiant glare at his boss "My word is not to be questioned!"

The Gryffindor did an impressive imitation "And I'm The-Boy-Who-Lived who never uses his fame for anything except get insulted in Potions. If the school, or Ministry, don't believe me …anyone know a paper that wants to put out my story?"

Fevered giggling and whispers came from Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown. They just didn't stand up fast enough.

"I congratulate you, Harry Potter, for chasing off the Aquavirius Maggots." A small blonde girl, Ravenclaw, stood and paced around the Gryffindor. "There are still some Nargles, though apparently muted. I am the Youth Editor for the Quibbler. Although my authority is limited to 10 Galleons, I offer that as a binder to publish your story through my paper."

A bit of cackling came from the Slytherin table "What a pair of freaks!"

"Bloody hell, Malfoy." Harry affected shock and sneered "Didn't know you had a black little brother." He glanced down the table and quipped "Hey, Ginny? I don't want to seem a bully. Mind keeping the little boy out of trouble?"

There were decidedly sour looks at the Slytherin table, but otherwise mostly an undercurrent of amusement.

Dumbledore harumpfed "Interhouse discussions aside, young Harry, I expect this subject will not leave the confines of these walls."

"Rather more is due." complained Snape "Potter has no place siccing his little girlfriend on one of MY students."

Remus cautioned "Harry, don't you think you're pushing this too far?"

"Shaddup Snape. The year's over." Harry snapped, shrugging off the hand on his shoulder. Then to the blonde girl "Miss Editor, you've got a deal. My full pay? We'll talk about later." Back to the Head Table "And Professor Dumbledore, you're in charge of Hogwarts, not summer. Happy holidays."

Severus finally loosened the Headmaster's grip on his arm "Enough of this Potter! If I had my way you'd join your swine of a father!"

"Enough of you you rat!" the student flung the first bit of silverware that came to hand. Perhaps regrettably, just a spoon, which was ineffective "Everyone here just heard him! I WILL NOT …EVER… BE IN HIS CLASS AGAIN!"

Dumbledore did something no current student could have witnessed. A flare of magic pushed several professors out of their seats, and he growled "You. Will. Cease. At. Once. Mr. Potter! Students do not pick teachers!"

"No, but we can pick schools!" Harry was too angry to be scared. He addressed the Head of his House coolly "Professor McGonagall, I will not have my father insulted or life threatened. I need transfer papers, please. Before we get on The Express."

A gasp came from Hermione "Harry! What are you saying!?"

"Observation, my friend, Hagrid said Hogwarts is the best in school in Britain." He was kind to her "The second best, or tenth for that matter, would be better than another minute with Snape." With that, he walked out, followed by deafening silence. Just then he wasn't aware of a dozen students following him.