AN: So this is a shorter chapter for me, but as it has been so long since an update I figured those who are still following this story won't mind. I hope to be more regular with updates with this story now that I finished the story for the holiday exchange. For those who hate cliff hangars - sorry, but I liked this ending for the chapter. Happy reading!

Reaching Bill's apartment, Nathan sat wearily down in one of the high-backed easy chairs. It had been a long and emotional day. Jack's response to seeing him had been a confirmation that he was doing the right thing. There was enough of a connection between him and the young boy to set everyone's mind at ease. Even waking up from his nap, it had been Nathan's name that Jack had called out. In fact, asking to go with Bill to escort Allie out the Weisses had been the first time Jack had voluntarily left Nathan's side since the Mountie's arrival.

Leaning his head back against the chair, Nathan closed his eyes. He had to admit it felt nice to know there was no one around him that he needed to be strong for right then. Even if it was only for ten minutes, Nathan was grateful for the time alone. Yes, his heart ached for Jack and his loss, but Nathan had to admit he felt Elizabeth's loss for his own sake as well. Despite the hurtful words that she had said that afternoon in the Mountie office, he had been in love with her. The pain didn't change that nor did her choice of Lucas. He had respected her choice and had let her go, but a part of him still loved her.

Perhaps a part of him always would.

However, just like after Colleen's early death, Nathan knew he had to find a way to go on. Grieving was all right, healthy even, but wrapping that grief around him like a cloak was not an option. He had his own life to live, and he had two children who needed him.

And perhaps he had finally found a woman who could return the feelings he had for her, Nathan pondered as he saw Faith's blue eyes in his mind. The car ride here had convinced him that it was a possibility that he wanted to explore - just as long as it wouldn't ruin the friendship he had developed with Carson. Moving on was one thing. A friend courting the woman you were trying to move on from was something else altogether. Nathan had seen several friendships dissolve because of that particular scenario. One of his fellow academy cadets hadn't even talked to a brother in more than ten years because his brother courted the young woman he had broken up with when Nathan's fellow Mountie had left for the academy.

But that was a situation that could be settled in the near future. First, he had Elizabeth's funeral to get through, followed by making the necessary arrangements to take Jack back to Clearwater with him. Once they were all settled, then he could speak to Carson on the subject and make his plans from there.

That settled, Nathan tried to clear his mind of all thoughts and just relax for a bit. It had been a long, emotional and draining day. It wasn't quite over yet. Jack may have gone with Bill to pick up Allie, but Nathan had no doubt the little boy would be wanting him to at least say goodnight to him.

Despite his resolve to stay awake, Nathan dozed off in the chair to be awakened by a knock on the door. Opening his eyes, he saw no signs that Bill had returned home - though he doubted he would have slept through their arrival.

"Coming," Nathan called out sleepily, rubbing his eyes before getting to his feet. As there was no further knock at the door, whoever was there had either heard him, or had already left. Reaching the door, he opened it to find Faith standing there.

"Did I wake you?" Faith asked, the concern in her voice echoed in her eyes.

"I dozed off in a chair. You probably rescued me from a sore neck," Nathan informed her, rubbing his neck which felt a bit stiff. As he saw some of the concern seep from Faith's eyes, he offered her a sheepish smile. "Come on in. Bill should be back with the kids shortly."

Faith nodded as she stepped past Nathan and into the apartment. As she undid the buttons on her coat, she glanced around. "I didn't expect Bill's place to be so neat."

Nathan snorted. "It is only because he was expecting company," the Mountie informed her. "Usually there are more things lying about," he told her, reaching for the coat she was slipping from her shoulders.

"I won't tell him you spilled his secret," Faith replied, lightly.

"Do you want something to drink?" Nathan asked.

Faith shook her head. "No. I just wanted to stop by and see how things were going with you and Little Jack. Fiona whisked me away so quickly this afternoon."

"She has missed you since you left for Clearwater," Nathan said, motioning toward the settee and chairs nearby. "Let's sit."

Faith nodded and moved to the settee. Nathan hesitated only a moment before moving to claim the spot next to her.

"How did Jack react to seeing you?" Faith asked, looking at Nathan as she spoke.

Nathan had to remind himself not to get lost in her blue eyes as he responded. "He was happy to see me though still coming to terms with his Mama not being around. That will take time, I know that from having Allie. At least I know this time just to comfort him while he cries. Hopefully that will avoid the tantrums I had with Allie."

"Life is a tough teacher," Faith replied, a sadness in her voice. "Jack will be all right though. He has family and people who love him. I know you'll be a good father figure to him."

"I plan on doing my best," Nathan replied. "I was actually surprised he went with Bill to pick up Allie as he had been clinging to me since I arrived."

Before Faith could reply there was another knock on the door.

"I wonder who that could be," Nathan said, getting to his feet. Reaching the door, he opened it to find Rosemary and Lee standing on the landing. "I didn't expect to see you two so soon," Nathan said, stepping aside and waving the Coulters inside.

"I saw Bill coming toward the row houses with Little Jack and wanted to come see you before the children are back," Rosemary said. "I won't stay long but I wanted to give you this."

Rosemary held out the letter she and Grace had found. Nathan noticed his name was written in Elizabeth's script. He felt his heart speed up. When had she written this? Slowly, Nathan reached out and to the item, holding it delicately as if it might scorch him. Even now, the words she had said in his office - that she was only looking for Jack in him - felt like they were searing his heart when he thought about it. Even if she didn't return his feelings, he had thought they at least had a deeper friendship than that. Would opening this letter only open the wound he had thought was cauterized?

"Where did you find this?" Nathan managed to ask.

"It fell out of this journal," Rosemary said, holding up the leather bound book she held. "Elizabeth gave me some of her journals for safekeeping before she married Lucas. Her mother and I were looking through some of them. I understand why she gave me the journals now." She held the book out to him, but Nathan didn't move to take it. "I marked an entry in here that I really think you should read. I think it will bring you some clarity on Elizabeth's actions and perhaps help you decide on whether to open that or not," she added, nodding toward the envelope he still held gingerly between his thumb and forefinger.

Feeling like he was reaching out for something that might be hot, Nathan took the journal from her. The cool touch of the cover actually surprised him.

"We'll go now," Rosemary said. "If you want to talk to either Lee or me, or both of us, you know where to find us."

Nathan nodded, unable to find words in the soup of emotions he was feeling.

Lee reached out and laid a hand on Nathan's shoulder. The weight of it made Nathan glance up from the items he held. Lee's grey eyes were full of compassion.

"We can talk anytime, my friend," Lee told him. "Even if it is two in the morning and you find you can't sleep - come knock on our door."

Nathan nodded, still not trusting his voice. Lee moved toward the door. Opening it, he held it for his wife before following her. Nathan found himself looking at his name written in Elizabeth's handwriting once again as the door shut. Movement brought his attention to Faith, whom he had forgotten was there.

"I'll go and let you deal with that," Faith said when she realized she had his attention.

Nathan felt a surge of panic. He didn't know why, but he didn't want her to leave. Perhaps it was because he knew that she deserved to know everything about what had happened between him and Elizabeth if they were to move their own relationship beyond the friendship they currently felt.

"Please stay?" Nathan requested.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," Nathan replied without hesitancy. "I don't want to read whatever is in this alone."

Faith sat back down. Reaching out, she patted the cushion next to her. Nathan moved from where he had been standing since greeting the Coulters and resumed his seat next to Faith. Placing the envelope on the coffee table, he looked down at the journal, once again hesitating. Rosemary had said the journal entry would help him understand.

Beside him, Faith looped an arm around his and leaned in close to him. Looking down, those blue eyes that kept captivating him gazed back at him. The support and compassion he found there bolstered his resolve.

"You can do this. I'm right here," Faith said.

Nathan nodded and forced himself to look away. Opening the journal to the place Rosemary had marked with a piece of stationary, Nathan found himself reading about their meeting by the log from Elizabeth's perspective.