Louisa's POV
I'm not sure, but this place is magical. I spend time on the beach with Will, Lily and Stevie and I swear Will was his old self. He was smiling. Laughing. Wanting to go into town and we did some shopping and sightseeing. He was getting a tan and his hair had a blonde tint to it. We had dinner outside under our palm tree. He enjoyed being in the pool. He tried some of the stall food and didn't bulk at trying some vegetable dishes. He even wanted to try parasailing. Sadly, they wouldn't let him.
Nathan and Karin were becoming close. I saw them parasailing, waterskiing and surfing. Nathan fell off the surfboard a few times, but he would just shake the water out of his hair and paddle back into the waves.
Lily was making friends with some of the other teenagers and Will gave some of the boys a warning look if they got too close to her. She tried surfing and she stayed up on the surfboard. She tried a dance during one of the shows. She convinced us to let her try a watered-down rum drink. She had let one of the female staff members to place glass beads in her hair and talked me into letting her do the same with my hair.
Stevie's favorite thing is the small pool at the hotel and he was doing well in his swimming classes. He enjoys playing in the sand, going seashell hunting with Will and I and riding through the sand with Will in Will's wheelchair.
I was getting a tan, too. I usually freckle. I had gotten some new vegetable recipes to try at home from the kitchen staff and I bought some nice gifts for Mum, Dad, Granddad, Treena and Tommy.
"You want me to try what?" I asked while sitting on Will's lap.
"Scuba diving. It's been a long time since you've done it," Will said with a sly grin.
"And I want to try it," Lily said.
"Go for it."
"Um…," I said then paused. The last time Will and I had gone scuba diving was a year before his accident. I loved being underwater. It felt like I was in a whole new world. A small tiger shark had come up to me and it followed us for the whole dive. "Fine. I'll do it."
"Yay! You're the best, Mum!" Lily said and she saw the shocked look on my face. "Did I say something wrong?"
"N-no," I said and I wiped the tears from my eyes.
We had a short diving lesson in the hotel pool and our instructor was very patient. We went underwater and I started remembering how it felt having the air tanks on my back. Lily enjoyed the lessons as well and we went out on the boat. The instructor gave her an underwater camera to take some photos of our dive and we went into the water.
The water was so clear. The fish swam around us as the instructor led us to the coral and I watched Lily taking photos. We headed by the rock formations and the seagrass moved slowly back and forth. Lily handed me the underwater camera and I took some photos. The instructor finally signaled for us to surface and we went up.
"That was awesome!" Lily said after we came to shore and Will smiled at her. He sat in the wheelchair next to Nathan on the path, Stevie was sitting on Wil's lap, and she placed the flippers on the ground.
"What about you? Did you enjoy yourself?" Will asked me and I softly laughed.
"Oh yes!" I said and I placed the flippers on the ground. The instructor told us he'd send the photos to the hotel and we headed down the path.
Nights later
Like all holidays, this one was coming to an end. We were going home tomorrow.
Will and I wanted to spend some time under our palm tree and I loved how he looked in a white linen shirt open up enough to show his light brown chest hair, white linen trousers and the brown leather sandals on his feet. I had designed the clothes for him and the white linen showed off his tan. His face was full and his eyes were sparkling in the dim light. I know I shouldn't think back to how ill he looked when we first arrived, but how he looked now was priceless.
"Why are you smiling, Clark?" he asked.
I wasn't really sure. Was it just being here with him or was it the music playing somewhere? I swayed to the music then I removed my sandals and I started dancing. I could hear Will laughing and he had such a happy look on his face. When the music stopped, I did a little curtsy then I went to sit on his lap.
"You are something else," he said and the dimples dented his cheeks.
"So are you," I said and I brushed some hair out of his eyes.
"Do you want to know something? I don't want to go home."
"I know how you feel. It's so lovely here."
"We could…," he said then paused as he looked out at the darkness. "We could buy a beach house and move here."
"We could. But I don't think your mother, my family or Maeve would like us being so far away."
"Then it would be our holiday house."
"And here I thought you didn't like the beach."
"I was wrong."
"Is there anything else you want?"
That is when his face changed.
"Will?" I asked.
"I want to go to Switzerland," he said and it felt like he slapped me.
"Say that again."
"I want to go to Switzerland."
"Why?"
"I want to do something."
"What sort of something?"
"Something which will cause a big change in our lives."
No! No! No! This can't be happening! I thought he was happy! I thought he was accepting his new life! I thought he wanted to live!
"But… But why!?" I asked with a tremble to my voice.
"I just thought it was time."
"You…?! You…?! How can you do this?!"
"I just told you. Don't you understand, Clark? I miss so much of my old life. I liked my life. I really liked it," he said and he had the nerve to laugh.
No! I wasn't going to stand for this! I wasn't going to let him do this!
"No!" I shouted and I didn't care if the people walking by us had stopped to watch us. "I won't let you do this!"
"You won't let me!? But…," he said and I got off his lap. I glared at him and he frowned. "Why are you so angry!?"
I didn't answer him. I picked up my sandals and I walked away.
"Where are you going!?" he called out, but I kept walking. "Lou! Come back! Louisa!"
I wiped the tears from my eyes as I kept walking then I heard the soft humming of the wheelchair. He pulled up next to me as I shook my head and we headed back to the hotel in silence.
I stood in the doorway to his bedroom while I watched Nathan help Will with the night routines and Will looked at the ceiling. Nathan glanced at me from time-to-time then he placed the medical equipment away. He wrote the information in the medical file and he placed the medical file on the night table.
"Night, Will," he said then he headed for the doorway to his room. Nathan half-closed the door and I went into the other room.
"Mum? What's wrong?" Lily asked, but I couldn't speak. She walked by me as she went into Will's room and I walked to stand just inside the doorway. She walked to the bed as she sat next to him, but Will just looked at the ceiling. "Daddy? Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," he said with such a defeated voice.
"Did you and Mum have a row?"
"I'm not sure. I wanted to talk to her and she went off on me."
"What did you want to talk to her about?"
"I wanted to talk to her about something Doctor O'Shea and I talked about while I was in the hospital."
"You're not getting worse, right?" she asked with a small crack in her voice.
"No. It's not that," he said as he went quiet and he looked at the doorway. I wasn't sure if he could see me. He turned his head back to look at her and he frowned. "It's a grown-up thing."
"Ah," Lily said as she got up and she walked to the doorway. She looked at me as she nodded her head toward the bed and I walked in the room. She closed the door and I walked to stand at the window.
"Louisa," cut through me as I looked out at the darkness. I didn't want to turn around. I could see his reflection in the glass and he looked so sad. "Please turn around."
I slowly turned around and he was still looking at the ceiling.
"Will you please raise the bed so I can look at you?" he asked with a small crack in his voice. I walked to the bed and I pushed the button to raise the head of the bed. He looked into my eyes and he sighed. "Sit on the bed, please."
I sat on the foot of the bed.
"No. I meant up here next to me."
I moved until I was sitting next to his left side and he glanced at me.
"Look at me," he said and I looked at him. The sadness in his eyes was crippling. He licked his lips then he closed his eyes. "I don't know why you're so angry with me, but I am sorry."
"You should be," I said, but I didn't mean to sound so cold.
"All business then," he said and he opened his eyes. "What did I do?"
"You want to go to Switzerland."
"Yes. I do. But not for whatever reason you're thinking of."
"Dignitas," I said with a growl.
"What about…?" he asked then paused. "Wait. You think I want to go there?"
"Don't you?!" I demanded and, for some reason, I climbed onto his lap and I placed my hands on his shoulders. We locked eyes and I felt the anger building up in my chest. "I know you're in pain. I know you hate being ill and tired all the time. I know you hate being in that damn wheelchair. I get you want your old life back. But I thought we got passed you wanting to die. That you accepted this new life. I guess I was wrong. You decided you want to go somewhere where someone will help you end your life and I have no say in it. Do you really think this isn't killing me? That the thought of you just lying there while they pump who knows what into you so you can finally be free from a body that refuses to work makes me want to scream? I don't want to lose you. I can't accept the fact you just gave up and want to end your life. I just can't. And I don't think Lily or Stevie will understand it. Yes. Stevie is just a baby. But Lily? She'll be devastated. As will your family as well as mine. And it will finally give your father his wish. Not only will he be free of his marriage, but he will take Stevie from me. I will lose both of you. I knew you weren't a nice person, William John Traynor. But I didn't know you were selfish, spiteful and heartless."
He just laid there and he blinked his eyes a few times. His face changed emotions a few times then he looked at me.
"Wow," he whispered with the cat-like sound and he lightly shook his head.
"Is that all you can say!?" I asked.
"Uh...," he said then he pressed his lips into a thin line. I waited for him to speak, but he looked a little apprehensive. "May I finally tell you why I want to go to Switzerland?"
"Go on."
"I did talk with Maeve about this while I was in the hospital. She agreed that it was something I should look into and she even introduced me to a colleague who could help me. He suggested this clinic in Switzerland and I asked if he could see if anyone there could help me. He agreed and I'm waiting to see if I can go there. I know I should have said something, but I didn't want to disappoint you."
"Disappoint me!? What, exactly, are you going to do!?"
"It's something you and I haven't done since my accident."
"We've done a lot of things," I said then paused. "Except being able to…"
"Have sex," he said, softly.
"And this clinic could help us do that?"
"Yes," he said with a small nod. "Clark, you have no idea how hard it is for me being like this. Seeing you every day and not being able to sneak up behind you and kiss your neck while tickling you. To see you naked in the shower when you help Nathan clean me off after I had a bowel movement and not… Not take you in my arms and have sex with you until the water turns cold. I miss that."
"So do I."
"You also don't know what I wanted to do with you on the beach just now."
"What did you want to do?"
"I wanted to have sex with you on the beach. Or just dance with you under the moonlight."
A few tears rolled down his cheeks and I felt horrible. I reached over for the box of tissues as I removed two tissues and I wiped his eyes and nose. I placed the tissue on the night table then I got out of bed. I knocked on the door to Nathan's room and he opened the door. He heard Will sniffing and he walked to the bed. After he checked Will's vitals, unclogged Will's nose and gave him some antihistamines, Nathan walked back to his room and he closed the door. I got back on the bed and Will looked at me with such sad eyes.
"I… I just ruined all this. Our holiday, I mean," Will said
"No. I did," I said.
"I do want you to know one thing. I'm glad you got angry with me. You gave me the Louisa Clark Double Barrel Mad talk at Rupert's wedding. But this!? This was something else. It shows me just how angry you are. Not just with me being like this. Not with what we think Father is going to do. But with me even thinking about going to Dignitas. I don't want to die, Clark. Not until I have no say in the matter. And I do know what my death will do to you, our kids, our families and our friends. I do want to live this life. Even though I hate it. Being here showed me it's not so bad. I've gone from being in the fast lane to sitting in the carpark."
I snorted a laugh and he smiled.
"So, will you please forgive me?" he asked with a sad puppy look.
"Only if you forgive me. Not just for getting angry with you, but the whole selfish, spiteful and heartless thing," I said.
"Of course," he said and I leaned in to kiss his lips. He tilted his head to one side and I moved my fingers through his hair. The sound of the door opening made me move back and we watched our son walking into the room. His hair was sticking up on his head and he held his teddy bear in his arms. He stopped by the bed as he looked from me to Will and Stevie frowned.
"Done mad?" Stevie asked. That is something he asks when one of us is angry.
"Done mad," Will assured him.
"Good," he said with a nod then he went back to the other room. The door closed after he had gone in the other room and I looked at Will. He wanted to laugh. I gently pushed down then up on his diaphragm and he laughed. I carefully got off of him then snuggled down next to him and I softly giggled.
"Guess we're finally cashing in on that rain check, hunh?" I asked.
"I... I forgot all about that. We'll have to wait and see," he said with a small grin and I nodded. He closed his eyes while I placed my head on his right shoulder and he grumbled that he loved me.
"I love you too," I whispered and he drifted off to sleep.
Sir Seewoosagur Ramgoolam International Airport
We arrived at the airport and I went to make sure they were going to allow Will to board the plane first. His wheelchair had another tag to mark it as special medical equipment and we headed for security. Nathan went to check in the luggage afterward and we headed for our gate. Will and Stevie sat at the window and the flight attendant told us the flight had been delayed.
"Want to go get something to eat?" I asked as I knelt next to the wheelchair.
"I'm hungry," Stevie said.
"Ok," Will said with a deep sigh and he flicked the joystick. We headed off for the food court and I knew how Will felt. I didn't want to go home.
The plane finally landed and we watched the passengers walk in the room. When the passengers saw Will, they quickly hurried off with startled looks on their faces and we looked at each other.
"Wonder what that was all about," Will said and I shrugged my shoulders.
Our flight was called a short time later and the flight attendants walked closer. We noticed the fear and apprehension in their eyes and they helped us take Will to get settled. Once he was in the seat, and the wheelchair was secured, one of the flight attendants sat on the small stool across for Will. She was staring at him and I swear her hands were shaking.
"Please don't stare," I said politely and she looked at her hands. The plane started moving and she sat up straighter. As the plane rose into the air, Will sighed and her eyes went wide.
"Jack!" she called out and the male flight attendant ran to her.
"What's wrong?!" he asked with fear in his voice.
"He moved!"
"Is he going to be trouble? If he is, I'm going to have the pilot turn the plane around and you will have to get off," he said with a harsh tone while he glared at Will.
"He just sighed," Nathan explained.
"This is your final warning," Jack said then he walked away.
"What the hell was that all about?" the man sitting behind me asked.
"I don't know. All my husband did was sigh," I told him.
"Is he ok?" the woman sitting behind Will asked.
"I'm fine," Will said and the flight attendant's eyes widened. "What? You didn't think I can talk?"
She quickly got up and Will glanced at me. I shrugged my shoulders and Will closed his eyes.
Hours later, they served dinner and the flight attendant cautiously walked toward our seats. She held the plastic tray in her hands and I lowered the smaller table so she could place the tray down in front of Will. Nathan had asked to use the galley so he could make Will a protein shake and the plastic cup sat in the cup holder.
"Where is the fork?" I asked as she looked at the plastic tray.
"He isn't allowed one," she said.
"How is he supposed to eat?"
"Hang on, Lou," Nathan said then he looked at the flight attendant. "Mind getting me another fork?"
"No. I… I have to stay here," she said.
"Maybe you should let her feed me," Will said while his eyes widened and he gave her a wide smile. She yelped then ran off. I glared at Will and he sunk his head down to his shoulders. "Sorry."
"What is going on here?!" Jack demanded after he walked to our seats.
"That's why I'd like to know. Ever since we've been on this flight, you've been treating my husband like he's some sort of threat or you freak out if he even breathes. No one asked him if he wants anything to eat or drink. We're not allowed to leave our seats. I told one of the flight attendants my son is either going to the loo or he's going to pee in the seat. We can't watch a movie because you won't let us have earpieces. And now one of you has to stand guard while my husband eats," I said.
"Yeah. What's the deal?" the woman sitting across from us asked.
"My sister is in a wheelchair and she isn't treated like this when she has to go somewhere on a plane," the woman sitting behind us said. We waited for Jack to answer, but he turned and walked away.
"That's it," I said as I stood up and I followed him. He was in the galley and he was surprised when he saw me standing in the doorway.
"Please return to your seat," he said.
"Not until you tell me why you're treating my husband like this," I said.
"I… He… Shit," Jack said with a sigh. "Look. We're not usually like this. People like your husband? We've dealt with them tons of times. Men. Women. Children. It doesn't matter. But… But our last flight? I don't know why they let that asshole on the plane."
"What happened?" I asked and I gave him a concerned look.
"I don't know. We were told he was fine. That he'd been on planes before. When we went to get him onboard, he just glared at us. We got him in his seat and he started moaning. His caregiver said he was ok. It was when the plane took off that he lost it. Screaming. Thrashing his arms around. Kicking his legs out. He bit Andrea when we tried to help his caretaker feed him. He then grabbed the fork and stabbed Maryanne in the arm. Finally, he picked up the food and threw it at us. His caretaker kept apologizing. The pilot had no recourse, but to make an emergency landing so we could get him off the plane."
"Is that why the flight was late?"
"Yeah. We also had to contact the airline and clean the plane. We were told to be cautious if there was another person like him on the next flight. To make another emergency landing and remove them if they cause trouble."
"And that next person was my husband."
"I truly am sorry. He looks like such a nice man."
"He is. But you have embarrassed him. All he wanted was to enjoy the flight like anyone else."
"What are you going to do?"
"It's more like what his mother is going to do. She is a high court judge and she doesn't like it if someone upsets her children," I said then I walked back to my seat. I sat down and Will glanced at me.
"What happened?" he asked and I told him. I heard some gasps and whispers coming from around us and Will frowned.
"So much for my Christy Brown impression if they kept it up," he teased and I softly laughed.
"I love My Left Foot," the woman across from of us said.
"Wouldn't mind seeing that impression," the man sitting behind us said.
"Maybe next time" Will said while the flight attendant walked over and she handed Nathan a fork. She glanced at Will then quickly walked away and Will sighed.
Sometime later, Will fell asleep and I pulled the blankets up to his shoulders. He made a content sigh and I held his left hand in my hand.
The flight attendant woke me at one point so we could have breakfast and I turned my head to see Will was awake. Nathan was doing a short version of Will's morning routines, like he did with Will's night routines, and the flight attendant served us breakfast. She quickly walked away and I helped Will drink the protein shake..
Hours later, the plane landed at Gatwick and the flight attendants helped us get Will into the wheelchair. We headed for the exit when the pilot walked over and he handed me a piece of paper. I looked at the piece of paper and I saw the names of the flight crew, the name of the airlines, the airlines' phone number and the airlines' email address.
"Is this real?" I asked.
"It's real. And I just want to say I am so sorry," the pilot said and I nodded, placing the piece pf paper in the inner pocket of my jean jacket. We left the plane and headed for security.
"I can't believe they treated Dad like that," Lily said.
"Don't let it ruin our holiday," I said.
"Bad," Stevie said.
After we went through security and got the luggage, we headed for the exit and I saw Mum, Dad, Camilla and, to our surprise, Steven waiting for us. He had his Panama hat in his hands and he was smiling.
"Well! Look at you lot!" Dad said.
"Welcome home!" Mum said.
"Did you have a good time?" Camilla asked when she noticed the sad look on Will's face. "William? Are you alright?"
"Can we please go home?" Will asked as he looked at me.
"Sure," I said and Nathan put the wheelchair on manual. Dad pushed the luggage cart while they walked to the doors and Camilla looked at me with such worry in her eyes.
"What happened?" she asked.
"Is he still ill?" Steven asked.
"I'll tell you when we get home," I said then I went to catch up with Will.