Authors Note: Hey Everyone! Hope you are all doing okay! Keep pushing through. I have the next 2 chapters of this that will be coming out soon, so be on the lookout. Otherwise I hope you enjoy! Leave me a comment and tell me your thoughts! Lots of Love - Lorna :)
Ezra opened his eyes frantically pulling out of Hera's embrace. Kanan reached out to reassure the terrified teen, but Ezra managed to avoid his grasp, which was quite the feat when Sabine remembered Ezra was tied up.
"Calm down, Ezra. You're alright." Kanan soothed.
"Kanan? Where are we? I don-" Ezra couldn't seem to express a full thought, mind too lost in the daze of recovery.
"You're on the Ghost, Ezra." Hera grabbed the troubled boy's shoulder.
"The Ghost? When did we-? I don't -. What was the last mission?" Ezra asked.
"We were gathering intel from an Imperial shipping base about a weapons shipment." Sabine spoke up.
"What?" Ezra asked. He looked a little overwhelmed and if Sabine was honest, he didn't look very good besides that. Ezra seemed jumpier than usual, like how he used to be when he had first started to live with them. Overtime, his jumpiness had died down as he came to trust the rest of the crew. If Sabine listened hard, she could hear a raspyness in Ezra's breathing, like it was more difficult than it should have been to get an even breath.
"Ez, you need to calm down." Sabine Said gently.
"Sabine is right, you need to take a breath." Hera agreed quietly.
Ezra really did try to calm down, but his head was pounding violently, it was uncomfortable to breathe because his throat rasped and his heart was pounding so hard in his chest it made Ezra feel a little sick. So, long story short, he didn't calm down even a little.
Kanan watched the scene through blind eyes in relative silence. Connected as he was to his Padawan, Kanan could feel the teens throbbing headache, intense confusion and the difficulty he was having taking deep breaths. Seeing that Ezra was unable to calm down on his own, Kanan offered a helping hand, sending small waves of peace through the force. Ezra grabbed onto them like a lifeline and gradually seemed to calm down to becoming functionable. However, Kanan could still feel Ezra's confusion through the force and small pinpricks of anxiety anytime that Ezra tried to move his hands only o find them tied up.
"Kanan?" Ezra finally questioned. "I don't understand what's going on."
With a small sigh, Kanan shook his head, touching Ezra's cheek briefly. "I know."
"What's going on?" Ezra asked.
"Ezra have you used the Sith holocron?" Kanan asked, avoiding the question.
"The one we got on Malachor? No, at least not intentionally." Ezra replied.
"Not intentionally?" Hera asked.
"Yeah, sometimes, if I'm frustrated or upset, I'll find the holocron opened." Ezra looked at Kanan worriedly. "But I didn't open it purposefully!"
Kanan winced as though he could feel Ezra's worry for him. "Alright Ezra, calm down."
He seemed to settle down, but Ezra still looked really unhappy. He shifted his hands, seeing if he could fiddle them into a more comfortable position under neath the ties.
"Ezra, honey, come closer and I'll undo the binds on your hands." Hera said.
She kindly untied Ezra binds and frowned sadly, with tender concern when she saw the bright red, irritated and sometimes even cut up wrists underneath. Ezra pulled his hands away from Hera quickly after they were untied fidgeting with his wrists. Sabine tried to maintain a neutral face, but inside she withered just a little. Ezra looked scared of them and that made her want to die just a little bit. He obviously didn't understand what was fully going on and what he did see was his family turning on him.
Of course, that wasn't really true, Sabine knew that Kanan and Hera were really trying to help him but if she looked at it from his perspective, she could understand where he was coming from. Ezra had lost his parents and lived off of the streets for years, having a memory of being loved, but no one to fulfill that need. Then came the crew and no matter how rocky the start was, they loved Ezra. For the first time in years Ezra had people who loved him, could watch his back. Paranoid, rebellious, independent Ezra had finally learned to trust people, to trust them, and now look how he ended up, tied down and being questioned by the very people that loved him. She'd have been scared of them too.
"I don't understand what's going on." Ezra repeated, feeling desperate.
Kanan sighed "I know Ezra, and I know you're worried but it would be wrong of me too burden you with that right now. Your not feeling well and your hurt."
Ezra narrowed his eyes suspiciously, realizing his mental defenses were way down. He figured that's how Kanan knew how he was feeling. Even with stinging wrists and a splitting headache, Ezra was not one to allow pain to hinder him. It was a skill learned the hard way from a life on the streets at an early age. With an abrupt thought, Ezra's eyes widened in surprise as he realized something.
"You broke my shields." Ezra gasped out.
Kanan waited a mere moment before responding carefully. "Yes, Ezra. I broke your shields."
Sabine watched in horror as Ezra started to close himself off. It was horrible to watch a single, brief second where pain flashed on Ezra's face, as though it physically hurt to revert back to how he was, and nearly as awful to see an indifferent mask slip on to his face. It was crushing for Sabine to know that Ezra anything but indifferent on the inside.
"Ezra, are you alright?" Hera asked, reaching out to touch his shoulder.
Ezra gracefully maneuvered away from her outstretched hand, not even giving it a moment to touch him. "I'm fine." He replied, nonchalantly.
Kanan stared at the scene through blind eyes, a sad look flashing over his face. He touched Hera's shoulder and motioned for her and Sabine to step out with him. Reluctantly, Sabine left but not before turning back to see Ezra's mask drop just a fraction and genuine fear to cross his features.
Outside of the door after making certain it was securely closed, Kanan began. "Someone needs to keep a constant eye on him. Hera you need to go piolet the ship. Make sure everything is running smoothly and I should probably go tell Zeb and chopper what's going on." He turned toward Sabine who met his unseeing eyes with steely determination. "Unless you would like to tell Zeb and Chopper?"
Immediately Sabine replied "Nope. All yours." Her tone dared Kanan to tell her otherwise.
"Alright then." Kanan replied.
Hera seemed to want to interrupt but kanan gave her a small smile. "Don't worry dear, we'll talk about this on the way to the cockpit." That seemed to satisfy Hera, at least enough that she no longer looked as though she was ready to skewer kanan. Sabine walked back into the room.