Findmyownway's latest review made me howl with laughter!

Starting in the past.

Season 2, Episode 19 - 'Ashes & Dusk' – Aaron and Emily's work dynamic changes.

Emily blinked her eyes open slowly. The second her head hit the pillow; she was out like a light. Through the 'waking up' fog, the events of the last couple of days flashed in her mind. Even though the morning light shone through her drapes, the air had a chill. It felt like there was a storm coming. Rainy days were her favourite; she could cosy up, read, drink warm drinks, and enjoy the different kind of peace it brought her.

Rainy days… and Aaron. 'Aaron' she thought. The man that held her heart sleeping next door by himself; injured. Emily had woken in the night from a nightmare featuring Dan Barnes and her lover's scream. Barnes had overcome Aaron long enough to put his slimy hands on her body again. She woken up in a cold sweat with tears streaming down her face. She contemplated going into his room but knew he needed to rest and get as much sleep as possible, as did she.

The last couple of days had been odd to say the least. Between Hotch's tequila fuelled wakeup call and the fight between the agents, she felt like she'd been hit by an emotional freight train.

Emily rolled over to her usual side of the bed and her eyes pinched together when she saw a vase next to her clock. Perfect white roses filled the glass vase. White roses were her favourite and she thought back to the dozens of conversations she had with Hotch trying to pinpoint when she had spoken about her favourite flower. She was sure she hadn't told him so these must be from her father.

Very carefully she freed an arm from the warmth of the duvet and brushed the pad of her finger over one of the velvety soft petals and bit her lip. Each petal was beautiful and perfect, harbouring no floss. She sat up with a yawn and looked around her bedroom, as if searching for traces of him though there were none. Disappointment washed over her at the idea of him not being around. His book wasn't on her nightstand, he's perfectly folded clothes weren't piled on the arm of the chair ready for the next morning. She smiled inwardly at his neatness. Emily decided the night before that she would speak with Hotch today. Anxiety consumed her; what he ended things with her?

She swung her legs over the side of the bed and changed from her shorts into an oversized pair of sweats and trusty Metallica t-shirt that was miles too big. She tied a knot into hem to tighten the fabric around her waist. Today was a day for sweats for sure even though it was the middle of summer. Dark clouds began to fill the sky and she would expect rainfall very soon.

The house was silent after yesterday's ordeal. She quietly crept from her room to the bathroom so she could wash up before seeing her boyfriend. After brushing her teeth, she pinned up her hair in a clip allowing for loose tendrils to flow freely either side of her face. After taking a deep breath, she threw her towel into her hamper and made her way out of the room and knocked lightly on Hotch's bedroom door. Her tummy churned at the thought of seeing him. Emily picked her nails waiting for an answer to enter his room. A nervous tick she had developed some years ago and whilst she did it far less often, it was something she unconsciously did when she grew anxious. After a few minutes of silence, she threw caution to the wind and entered the room. Wind howled through the crack in the window and the room was freezing. Emily shivered as she walked in to find his bed made. She closed the window and took in the surroundings; it didn't even look like he had been in here. She rubbed her upper arms in an attempt to warm herself up and swiftly moved out of the room.

Her irrational mind went on a trip when she staggered down the stairs and then into the kitchen where she made two cups of coffee, one for her and one for him almost as a peace offering and invite to a conversation.

Hotch was rocking in his desk chair with his eyes closed contemplating how to start a conversation with Emily. He'd missed her last night and heard she had gone to sleep relatively early. Wanting nothing more than curl around her whilst she slept, he assumed that space and rest would be best after seeing her attacker again. He had checked on her early this morning and found her sleeping peacefully on his side of her bed. He watched her rest for a few minutes after leaving the bouquet of white roses on her nightstand and proceeded to finish paperwork piled up in his office.

He rubbed his forehead and tried to collect his thoughts. Not only would he need to apologise, but he would also need to listen to anything Emily had to say. He remembered that he needed to ask about her father's comment the previous day about giving Emily space… The elder was a trained spy therefore reading behaviour would be second nature after a long career. The thought of tip toing around a man like Anthony Prentiss unsettled him but Emily had a great relationship with her father. Hotch had no doubt she would handle any situation where they would need to come clean.

He lifted the remote control that was on his desk and switched the channel of the radio that was playing quietly in the corner of his office. His eyebrows pinched together at the unfamiliar tune that had come on. He listened intently and the lyrics bore into his mind as if he was being branded.

A few minutes later the song faded out, but he only caught the artist's name, 'fucking Bon Jovi and their breakup music' he thought to himself grimly... Having thought this, he liked the song. Maybe Emily would know it, she was a music buff.

Not soon after a new song played, a knock on his door pulled him away from the thoughts of the young woman that he had begun a relationship with not long ago.

"Yes?" he called towards the door.

Hotch sat up straight in his chair with a soft grunt at the sight of his girlfriend holding two cups of coffee. She didn't wait for an invite into his office but slowly walked over to his desk where she put the mugs down on the hard wood before making her way around to where he was sat. Hotch whipped the sling he was sporting over his head; the fabric caused his hair to fluff up a little. He threw it onto the wooden surface and reached for her hand where he pulled Emily onto his lap.

He let out a deep breath he didn't realise he had been holding when Emily's hands curled into his hair. Hotch's strong arms wrapped around her waist tightly cuddling her close to his body where they melted into each other.

"Hi" he whispered against the soft skin of her neck. He greedily inhaled the scent of her whilst she smoothed over the back of his soft hair.

"Hi" she whimpered in reply.

Hotch nudged her back so he could look at woman on his lap. Emily stared at him with watery eyes and freed one of her hands to rest against his cheek. She stroked her thumb across the purple bruise that had formed as a result of his scuffle. Leaning forward she pressed a barely there kiss to the mark on his face. Hotch's hazel eyes burned into, watching her take in every one of his features as if this was the first time she was looking at him. His heart clenched and one large palm crept up the back of her shirt to caress the satin skin there. His eyes were a little sunken like he hadn't slept properly in days.

"You look tired". Emily said sadly as her short nails lightly scratched through the fine hair on the side of his head.

"I'm fine" hotch replied.

Emily drew in a long, deep breath and leaped.

"You don't have to be so strong all the time, Hotch. Feeling is a part of being human and we just deal with things, y'know?" she explained quietly. Hotch looked away from her ashamed. He held in the truth about his father's abuse for all those years and pushed Emily away when she did nothing but support him.

She heard him suck in a shaky breath, "What if I can't deal with things?".

Emily put both hands on his face to make him look at her.

"We will always be able to deal with things, but you can't shut me out again". Emily spoke and leaned her forehead against his. "We'll figure it out, no matter how bad or complicated, I'm not going anywhere. How could I leave you, huh?" her thumb brushed over his upper lip.

"I'm sorry" he croaked.

"I know you are. Thank you. I'm sorry too" Emily smiled softly at him in.

"Why are you sorry?" He pulled his heard away from her with a frown.

"For pushing you" she replied simply.

"You shouldn't be sorry for that, Em. I needed pushing."

"Are you okay?" She asked shyly and bit her lip.

"I'm fin- "Hotch caught himself. "I'm a little sore from yesterday but the doctor was great, and I'll be okay" she smiled at his stumble when he spoke and appreciated his honesty.

Her smile morphed into a thin line as she raised one eyebrow at him. Hotch cleared his throat as he caught on to her silent question.

"Let's see, that asshole dislocated my right shoulder, hit me in the face and in the stomach but that's it. Oh, and used his watch to cut me" Hotch raised his forearm to show a gauze.

Emily sat back on his knees so she could rub her hands on his chest. Very carefully her palms moved outwards to his broad shoulders, and he felt her rest her left hand over his injured shoulder.

"I heard you scream yesterday" she admitted.

"You did?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Hearing you hurt. The idea of you in pain… I can't even think- ". Emily shivered and shook her head. She pulled her hands away from the warmth of his body and looked down at the nails she started to pick at. Anxiety washed over her at the thought of Hotch hurt in anyway.

"Hey, I'm okay. You can see me, you can hear me, you can touch me. I'm okay." he said gently. His eyes glanced down at the small hands between them. He watched closely she clawed away at herself and his heart clenched in his chest at her nervousness.

"What can I do?" he asked gently and covered both her hands with his large palm.

Emily shrugged petulantly.

"Kiss me" he said softly.

Emily's head snapped up at his request. She missed him but those lips were dangerous, as was the hand that continued to trail lazily up and down her spine.

"I don't…"

"So, you won't say my name and now you won't kiss me?" He asked in disbelief. "We can't sort this out if you wanna keep your distance from me… Miss Prentiss". He teased.

"How'd you know?"

"You're not that hard to read, Em" he answered frankly.

"I would be if we weren't… y'know?". Emily waved her hand. Hotch's laughter rumbled in his chest.

"If we weren't?" He asked as he continued to joke with her.

"Having sex" she whispered even though no one else was around to hear their conversation.

"Well, we've not had sex in two days and more importantly, we are so much more than that. Don't get me wrong, we are incredible together. Making love with you, is just extraordinary. But it's not just about sex, Em, I don't want to be with anyone else." Hotch said intently.

She was bewildered by his little speech. This wasn't what she expected from him when she entered his office.

"Look" he continued, "I know a lot has happened for us to get here and it's quick and intense with me working for your mom but I, uh-"he paused to find his words. "I don't want to think about not being with you."

"Do you remember coming into my room? On Friday?" She interrupted.

"It's a little hazy…" he replied honestly.

He recalled going into Emily's room and falling over. He remembered her father checking on her and he remembered Emily helping get ready for bed. Hotch had made a mental note to not drink tequila again. It was his father's drink, and he didn't want to be tarred with the same brush in any kind of way.

"It's just… you said something and I'm not sure if you said it because you were out of mind drunk or because being that drunk gave you a different level of courage, and I've gone over it a hundred times-." she began to ramble.

"I love you" he blurted out.

Emily's eyes widened. "Hotch, I-."

"Aaron." He interrupted. "Just say my name, Em." he moved the hand resting on her back to her hip where he held her to him. He huffed and spoke again.

"Forget the name thing for a sec. I've fallen in love with you. You don't have to say anything, I know it's scary and it's quick, but I can't act like this – us - isn't something more. Do you think, maybe, you could fall in love with someone like me" he asked hopefully.

"No…" she started and watched his face fall, his eyes dulled dramatically as if hope died right there and then. She cupped his cheeks and brought her head down towards his to rest her forehead against his once more.

"I already fell, Hotch. Since the first day I saw you, it was different. I felt different… I can't explain it" she laughed nervously when he blew out the breath he'd held in.

"I get it" he replied. "There's something about you and when I'm with you, I feel like I can be the man I want to be". Hotch said sincerely.

"I love you" he said again.

Emily grinned at his words. "I love you too, Aaron" she replied sweetly.

Hotch smiled back at her. "Can I kiss you, now?"

"You better…" she giggled at him as he raised himself up to brush his nose against hers before his lips landed squarely on hers. Hotch immediately groaned into the kiss as his mouth moved over hers at a languid pace.

Emily broke the kiss and smiled at Hotch's whine at the loss of contact. He leaned forward to skim his soft lips over hers again as if to savour the taste. She grinned at the gentleness from his action.

"I've missed you" she sighed when he pulled away.

"I've missed you so much more" he responded.

"Not possible" she argued and tucked her head under his chin and rested against his chest. Contentment met the brunettes like an old friend. The soft drum of his heartbeat in her ear aide with riding any lingering fears she may have had this morning.

"I heard a song just now that I kind of liked and I wondered if you knew it?" he suggested.

"I'm not a mind reader, Aaron" she said into his broad chest.

"No, but you do have a huge music collection, so I just assumed" he said into her hair. Her breathed her in, she smelt like strawberries and something completely Emily.

"Well, you're going to have to help me out… do you know who the artist was?"

"Uh, Bon Jovi…" he responded huskily. He was so comfortable in his desk chair with Emily straddling his hips laid against his chest, that he could of easily drifted off.

"That man is gorgeous!" Emily said excitedly and lifted herself away from him to sit back on his knees again.

Hotch rolled his eyes at her.

"Hey" she tugged his shirt. "He's good-looking but doesn't hold a candle to you… come on, Aaron, don't you have a celebrity that if you see on TV that, it makes you stop what you're doing?".

"I guess…" he said awkwardly.

"Aaron, you're a 26-year-old guy… so? What are we talking here? Jennifer Aniston?" she joked with him in an attempt to get him to open up more.

"Mmm, I always preferred Courtney Cox." He shrugged.

"Thank you for telling me." She replied. "So, Bon Jovi? I have a couple of albums upstairs that we can go through."

"We?" he asked.

"Unless you want to sleep by yourself again tonight then yes, 'we'."

"Not a chance!" his left hand cupped her cheek, and he threaded his fingers through her darkened silk strands. He cradled the back of her neck and pulled her face forwards so their lips could meet again.

-Present Day-

The team sat around the round table in the conference room as JJ presented a case in San Francisco. He closed his eyes at the location and knew this would result in yet another fight between him and his wife. The distance would mean the case would be a fair few days, plus an additional day or two to catch up on the paperwork he couldn't take with him. He was pulled from his internal battle at the sound of Reid sharing statistics on arsonists.

"I'm trying to be more conversational" Reid said to Prentiss. His tolerance for the female agent had increased greatly since their return from New Orleans, and the team was much more relaxed around the young agent. Emily was certainly more comfortable around Reid knowing that he had ceased fire with his emotional punches. She enjoyed having banter with the young man, and had reassured him that if he needed her, she would always be around for him.

"Ohh, it's not working" she quipped back and smiled at Reid upon hearing Morgan laugh at the banter thrown.

Hotch didn't look from his file but was pleased to hear the quip. Things between him and Emily had been more civilised, and she was gelling with the team in a way he didn't want nor expect given his less than lukewarm welcome.

The team continued to feed off one another about the MO for this UNSUB. Eventually, he gave the directions for them before they gathered their own bags to meet on the jet.

"Run the car. Garcia, run the victims through your system. If there's any connection, we need to find it." Hotch spoke gruffly.

"Yes, sir" Garcia replied.

"Reid, victimology… I'll go see Charlotte Cutler" he spoke staring into an empty space. The tone of his voice didn't miss Gideon, nor did it miss Prentiss.

Emily had seen this with Aaron before. He was detached and so unemotional that it was emotional. The pit of stomach started to sink, she had a bad feeling about this case and her supervisor. Even though he had been more friendly towards her over the last couple of weeks, both of them were walking on wafer thin ice when it came to the other one.

Before she could cross the imaginary line, Gideon spoke up, "You took the burn ward last time."

Chairs scuffed against the table as the team picked up their files and started to leave the conference room.

"it's alright, I got it" Hotch replied to Gideon.

Emily made a point of collecting her things slower than her colleagues so she could check up on him without prying eyes. He didn't raise his eyes from the table, he was frozen but functional and moved insanely fast. Just as Emily nibbled on her lip, Hotch was next to her in the doorway. He reached out a hand to stop her, his fingers rested over the thin material covering her stomach. He felt her muscles jump at the contact and cleared his throat.

"Sir?" she spoke lowly enough for only him to hear.

"What happened to 'Hotch'?" he asked avoiding eye contact with her.

"What happened to being nice?" she threw his words back at him in hope it would ease any tension between them. Hotch sucked a breath between his teeth and cleared his throat.

"I want you to come with me… I think, uh… I think it would be good for you to come with me to see Mrs Cutler".

Emily nodded and tilted her head to catch his eyes, but he never looked at her directly. She dropped her gaze to the fingertips pressed against her torso still. She curled her small hand around his fingers, amazed by the warmth that always radiated from him.

"It's okay" she squeezed his fingers and he finally meet her eyes. Her lip curled slightly in the corner and her dark orbs sparkled.

"What if I-"

"Then I'll be right here. I'll be with you at the hospital, and I'll be with you throughout this case. Just don't shut down, it doesn't have to be me, and I don't expect to be me but please, please don't shut down". She held his gaze as she pleaded with him.

"You need to let go of my hand, Emily" he whispered.

"And you need to take your hand away from my body, sir" she remarked.

"Still no 'Hotch'?"

"If you're nice… let's go". She stepped around his body and swiftly walked along the catwalk to her desk. Hotch leaned on the door frame, his eyes followed her movement and he suddenly felt much more at peace with her presence on the team.

Thank you for your continued support. More development coming up, currently writing the next chapter.