Eliza awoke to an empty bed. She could hear Ivy and Allie talking downstairs, so she dressed quickly and saw her letter to William fall out of her pocket as she draped her dress over the chair. She tore up the letter and tossed it in the guest room fireplace. She would need to write a new letter now, for Eliza didn't want him to read about the events of last night only from Ivy's perspective.

Ivy met Eliza at the bottom of the stairs, wanting to talk to her privately before entering the kitchen, where Allie was busy finishing setting out the dishes for breakfast. Eliza eagerly asked about Allie and how she seemed to Ivy. Ivy responded with a smile, saying that Allie seemed in good spirits and how much she enjoyed Allie's help in the kitchen. Eliza rolled her eyes at Ivy's quip and continued to the kitchen.

Allie looked up quickly when Eliza entered, stepping on that one creaky floorboard this time on purpose. Eliza didn't want to startle Allie, so she stepped on the creaky floorboard on purpose. The two cousins exchanged "good morning"s and sat at the table. Ivy entered and saw that the plates were already filled and that the two now-grown ladies were patiently waiting for Ivy to sit down. Ivy thanked Allie for helping with breakfast and for having a plate ready for her. Eliza smiled at Allie and thanked her as well, saying that Allie was making her look bad in front of Ivy.

After finishing breakfast Allie asked Eliza what her plans are for the day. Eliza explained that she has some work in her office to do as she had just finished moving all of her possessions back in from her off at Nash and Sons. Allie asked if she could help, Ivy slipped in before Eliza could answer about how she should rest until she is recovered. Allie answered that she felt well and was no longer feeling the way she had last night following with hoe eager she was to put the events of yesterday and last night behind her by moving on to something that will keep her mind off it all. Eliza reminded Allie she would have to give another statement to Detective Fitzroy today, and how if they caught her assailant there would more than likely be court where she may have to testify. Allie nodded and asked if they could meet Detective Fitzroy at Scotland Yard to get the interview over with. Eliza looked at Ivy and then back at Allie, Ivy nodded no and gave Eliza a look. Eliza looked at Allie, "as long as you feel up to it, and promise that if you are overwhelmed you will let me know." Allie nodded in agreement. Allie returned to her room to finish getting ready for the outing, she had already raided Lizzie's closet for something to wear. According to Ivy it was a dress Eliza hardly wore.

Eliza sat at the kitchen table, wanting to write a letter to William so she could drop it off at the post office while she's out. The kitchen was quiet because Ivy was checking on Allie to make sure she had everything she needed.

Dear William,

This feels like my hundredth time trying to write you, yet only the second version of this letter. I had written last night after dinner about all that has happened since your departure. I promised myself I would post it today no matter what, yet since that letter another life change has occurred. Now in writing this new letter I realize how superficial my other letter was and you deserve more from me.

To catch you up quickly, Nash is in jail, Nash and Sons is no more, and I have moved back into my father's old office...or I am in the process of moving back in. My cousin Allie (Alexandra) I can't remember if you two actually met, I know I have told you about the trouble we used to get into while we were younger. Detective Fitzroy showed up handcuffed to her last night here at the house. Allie had thought she was drugged and then found unresponsive by a shopkeeper as they were locking up for the night. Allie was medically cleared after she had come to in a holding cell, and then asked for me. She had been nervous about being taken again and asked that Detective Fitzroy handcuff himself to her in hopes to prevent anything further from happening. You have done well with Detective Fitzroy, he was professional and comforting to Allie. I can't imagine another Detective being as warm and kind as he was. Allie will be staying with me for as long as needed as both aunt and uncle have both passed and all her belongings taken while she was under the influence of the substance. I am saddened about how she ended up here as she had said she has been just traveling after selling her family's home in Ireland, but I am so glad that she is here for my own selfish reason of being lonely. Of course Ivy is glad Allie is here, especially since she will now be a bit less guilty to spend time with Mr. Potts instead of me.

Now for the part I worry about most, which is if you choose to respond, what you will say. I don't blame you if I don't hear from you again.

I became comfortable in this dance we have been doing over the past 12 years. It's just us; it's what we do. Until you found Arabella, I can't tell you how you courting an enemy from my youth made me feel. I know it sounds immature, she had everything when we were growing up and now she has you. I felt betrayed; I know you have had your flings, but this was different; you didn't feel like mine anymore. I thought it was just an unsaid understanding that I was yours and you were mine. I didn't want to risk losing "us." I know you want a wife who won't try and kill you with eggs; I tried to show you I could try to be that and started having Ivy teach me how to back and prepare meals. I brought you a cake after solving a case hoping you would understand it was me trying to be more like your version of a wife. Then Arabella showed up with all these fancy desserts and you didn't even see me leave your office. I didn't blame you for being with her; I can't and will never be her.

After she called it off, I still don't believe it was because you were late for a few dinners; you started to feel like mine again. It was a different "us"; it felt like our feelings for each other had grown deeper. While still fearful and attempting to guard our friendship, I started to give more of myself and you started to look at me differently. And though I was terrified of you realizing that we were better as just friends. I was worried that once that line was crossed, I would no longer be able to just accept that we could just be friends.

You were shot, and while I was by your side day in and day out with the exception of Fitzroy, I realized that if we fail to be anything other than friends; that was better than living in a world completely without you.

I know I can't take back not being with you while you recovered in my home for two weeks. I wasn't expecting Nash to just show up without warning and then need my undivided attention. You asked me so many times for just a moment to talk, and I took you for granted thinking we would just talk the next time I saw you, but I continued to put it off and be distracted, never giving you the attention you deserved.

That night you left me speechless, when you said you loved me, then kissed me. Every single thought I had ever had about wanting more than friends had become a reality. Every fiber of my being was rebounding from being finally let loose and not tightly wound. I felt like I could breathe deep for the first time in 12 years. It was only when you closed the door that I was shaken out of the euphoria I had just felt.

I can't help to feel like I've lost you before I even had you. It's out there in the universe now. At least partly. I refuse to write "I love you" in a letter. I want to see your face, I want to be able to reach out and touch you. I want you, and I want you here.

As for your letter to Ivy asking if I was mad and upset with you. I am. You in a matter of minutes took my breath away and then disappeared across the ocean. I am angry at myself too, I should have chased you, I should not have let you leave. God only knows I should have held you tighter and kissed you longer.

Don't hate me,

Eliza

Allie and Ivy could be heard coming down the stairs. Allie looked beautiful in a dark purple dress that Eliza despised. Ivy had helped Allie with her hair that had been pulled into a low bun and encircled with a braid, with plenty of loose, unruly curls to frame her face. Eliza slipped the letter into her bag and the two left their home in a coach Eliza had called for. "Where to, ladies?" the driver asked. "First stop will be the post office, please," Eliza responded. She couldn't let her heart go back out now.