"My Jane the mistress of Netherfield Park! The wife of the richest man in the neighborhood!" Mrs. Bennet crowed loudly, causing Jane to blush.
"You know I didn't marry Mr. Bingley for his money," she told her evenly, mostly for Charles' benefit, because Mrs. Bennet was deaf to the world in her triumphs. "And we are only leasing. We have just two months left on the lease."
"Resign the lease then! Better yet, buy it!" Mrs. Bennet waved the concern away and Jane's serene face looked alarmed and startled to Charles' practiced eye. He had hoped to surprise her later. They had been examining properties for a month now, and he just received confirmation for her favorite. He would've liked to be closer to town, but the happiness on her face when she made plans for the place was irresistible.
"Oh, yes! I just signed a new lease, actually" he butt in, hoping to help Jane in her struggle. He was glad of his impulsive reputation in times like these. It released him from some strictures of politeness
"Here at netherfield?" Lizzy questioned politely.
"No, at Sherwood manor in Nottinghamshire," he said, glancing at Jane's reaction, part of him wishing he were alone with his wife. Her eyes light up with an enthusiastic smile.
"Really Charles?" She said excitedly.
"No!" Mrs Bennet cried, "you mustn't! That's too far away from us! You must stay here!"
"I was so happy with it that I signed the lease, and I received confirmation yesterday," he said, speaking to Mrs Bennet but ignoring her words as she ignored his. He turned back to his tea and to watch Jane's faroff happy gaze. This view would have to do until they were alone, but a beautiful and endearing view it was.
"How serious is the lease? We haven't visited everyone yet! I had such plans! Will you still go to town? What about the grandchildren?" Mrs. Bennet had worked herself up, but the mention of grandchildren was the tipping point for Charles. As he was drinking tea, the shrill, unhappy voice of the matron broke through his mind and he choked.
Jane looked at him with great alarm as he hacked and coughed.
"Grandchildren?" he exclaimed a second later, in wild agitation. He heard Jane erupt into laughter at his side, as he coughed into a handkerchief she gave him. She had thrown her head back in a raucous laughter, his favorite kind. That's when he noticed the shocked silence, and Jane did too.
Her laughter was almost sucked back into her and closed back up behind those cold iron doors of a serene expression. Her mother looked started, her father confused, even Lizzy sat with her eyebrows raised high. Mary just shook her head in disapproval. The younger two were thankfully missing.
Suddenly the silence broke. Mrs. Bennet wailed about wrinkles, Mary lectured on the evils of loud laughter, Mr. Bennet sarcastically commented that perhaps the merry men had possessed her. Only Lizzy looked truly pleased, after her startled expression faded. "Oh! Well done Jane," she said over the din. Jane just gave her a small smile.
"I'd quite forgotten!" Charles exclaimed into the noisy room, hoping his words would catch, "I'm meeting with a solicitor soon! Hopefully we can continue this conversation later. You can all come to Netherfield for dinner later today. I'll leave a note!" he said, grabbing Jane's hand and standing to bow a farewell. They fled the room without waiting for a reply, though they heard Mr. Bennet's sardonic laugh.
"Well, my dear, you requested grandchildren so fervently they must do your bidding," he said. While Charles was always hopeful that would be the case, that was not his primary reason for lying.
He practically tossed Jane up into the carriage, leapt in behind her and slammed the door shut. He had wanted to help her out of the stressful conversation with her mother, but he had made the whole visit ten times worse. But then he heard laughter bubble back out of her.
"You said 'grandchildren?!'" she did a breathless, and hopefully exaggerated imitation of his outburst, dissolving into a laughing fit that he had to join in. He replayed the scene in his head and was fairly certain tea had shot out his nose. If he had watched it play out he would not be able to hold it together! No, Jane's laughter couldn't die down for some minutes. He was just happy to see her free to be joyful.
Oxxoxoxox
When their guests had arrived for dinner later that night, Jane watched as Mr Darcy tried to speak to Lizzy. He had many false, and painfully awkward starts, but he could get no more than a word out before having to retreat. She knew his courage was failing under the power of his inner voice. He could start a sentence, but be too scared to finish it. Now, he just glared out the window.
"Mr. Darcy," Jane said. He gave her a small bow. They had come back to their friendship after she had seen the letters proving his action. In fact, she made a point to be more affectionate towards the man, to console him from her biting words. Though, she did not regret them. She especially wanted to ease his heart when the rumors came of Wickham being apprehended.
"Mrs. Bingley," he said, giving her a small smile. He must be relieved to have someone to talk to. The tone of his voice was all respect and affection.
"Why haven't you spoken to Lizzy yet?" She asked softly, not looking at him. He felt more relaxed that way.
"I–very much want to," he confessed, "but I keep hearing her words, over and over."
"What words?"
"You are the last man on earth whom I could ever be prevailed upon to marry," he quoted softly, as if reluctant to reveal his pain, "I hear it, her voice, over and over."
Jane was shocked. She knew the voice was poisonous, but if had switched from her own to Charles' voice? She would fall apart to be sure. To have someone you loved so much be the source of that anxiety? She would listen to it over and over just to hear Charles' voice, but at the cost of her confidence.
"I don't believe she ever forgave me for my behavior last autumn either. Ungentlemanly, with a selfish disdain for the feelings of others," he quoted again, now seeming glad to have someone to unburden himself to.
This did not change Jane's horrified heart. He fixed the main problem of Wickham, he had proven in London he was just shy. He could become something better, he had proven that.
She needed to speak to Lizzy.
Oxoxoxo
"What did you need Jane?" Lizzy's voice came to her. Jane had asked Lizzy to come to the distillery while their mother and sisters entertained themselves and the men entertained themselves.
"I wanted to tell you that Mr. Darcy was the cause of Wickhams arrest," Jane said softly. Lizzy froze, the smile on her face quickly fading.
"Wickham hasn't said anything has he?" Lizzy asked, a little pale. Jane wondered what she could mean. "About any of the girls he'd… he'd," Lizzy couldn't find the word, but Jane found what she was worried about.
"No, it was purely over debts, and no lady's name has been mentioned," Jane said, taking Lizzy's hands. Her dear sister loved deeply, but it seemed she was willing to allow Wickham to keep on his way for Miss Darcy's sake. As she loved Miss Darcy to the exclusion of other girls. Jane put that thought away, it would do no good here.
"What do you think of Mr. Darcy now? He's been very attentive to you," she asked. Lizzy blushed and tried to shrug her shoulders, but it lacked the truly nonchalant air she usually had. Quickly as the self doubt showed on her face, she turned to joke.
"You would still think him shy, and incapable of fault. But my sketch of his character is quite thorough. He'll fly off to his half of Darbyshire as soon as the wind changes," she smiled.
"I don't think it's quite that. I would think he's trying to mend his mistakes. He dealt with Wickham and he spoke pleasantly with Mama for above a quarter of an hour. You must admit the feat," Jane said.
"Oh Jane, you apply your own natural reservation to the man, but you must understand that he does not have your goodness–," Lizzy said.
"You're just like Mama," Jane interrupted, forcing her voice to be smooth and even. It came out a little forceful. Lizzy stopped dead in her sentence, her eyebrows raised. Jane continued quickly, but softing her tone.
"You only see the world as you want to, regardless of what people tell you. Mama thinks that all her daughters will make excellent matches, despite the evidence there was against it. No one could tell her otherwise. And now you think Mr. Darcy is hateful and despicable, despite the evidence against and in spite of what Charlotte and I have told you."
Lizzy looked at Jane with wide eyes, startled into silence, and unable to hide behind a joke. She didn't seem to have the fire necessary to hide behind anger either. Her own doubts must have smothered much of her hatred.
"You don't have to marry him, or even be friends with him" Jane said, "but I wish you would make the decision based on a continued assessment of him, and not cling to your initial impression of him. He misses you Lizzy, and I suspect Miss Darcy misses you as well. He fixed the Wickham problem so that you could be friends again."
Lizzy sat down on a bench heavily in almost defeat. Jane sat next to her, and both stared at the floor, at their hands, at the table. Anywhere but each other, though Jane glanced at Lizzy to check her face. Her face betrayed an exhaustion, as if she had lost sleep from this. Irritation would bloom on her face, only for her to bring her brows together in thought. Jane hoped she had pushed Lizzy from contemplative to anxieties.
"What if your voice becomes Lizzy's voice? That when she thinks badly of herself, she hears you?" The thought made her shiver, and she grabbed Lizzy and hugged her close.
"I love you!" Jane exclaimed, "I never want you to doubt it. I just hate to see my friends struggle so!" This seemed to break Lizzy from her stupor and she brought her hands up to hug Jane back.
"It's alright dearest!" she said comfortingly, "perhaps I have been a little stubborn. Do not fear, I'm not made for melancholy and will be better after a nice walk!" Jane could only give a slightly tearful laugh. "Surely you weren't worried I would start second guessing myself as you do?" Lizzy said.
Jane's arms froze around Lizzy. Could it be that Lizzy had known all along? Had Jane hidden so much from her that she had stilted their friendship.
"How did you know?" Jane asked.
"Why do you think I've been telling you that you're good and perfect all this time?" Lizzy laughed.
"I thought it was because you all depended on me to be perfect," Jane said, tears welling up in her eyes. Lizzy looked concerned.
"No! It was because you always looked so doubtful when Mama would compliment you, and I wanted you to think it was true. You are good Jane, and I'm sorry if I made things worse for you," Lizzy said. This made the tears spill over her eyes and she hugged Lizzy tighter. Maybe Lizzy had used it incorrectly sometimes, but all the other times her sister was trying to help her. She could forgive Lizzy her mistakes, because of all the support she had shown between her mistakes.
After a little while a knock sounded on the door.
"Come in," Lizzy called, while Jane sniffed. Mr. Darcy opened the door, very hesitant and unsure of himself.
"Bingley asked me to come find you," he said almost as an apology. Jane nodded and stood up quickly. That dear man!
"Take your time finding your way back," she blurted, rushing past Mr. Darcy and towards her dear man.
Oxoxoxo
"Is your sister alright?" Mr. Darcy said, keeping his hand on the door knob.
"She will be," Lizzy said with a smile, "she has been in charge of everyone's well being for so long I think she thought she was alone in it."
"That is a heavy load to bear," Mr. Darcy said.
"Yes," Lizzy said, feeling nerves in her tighten, but she shoved them down. She would not be like Mama! "And she has four silly younger sisters, not just one." The poor man looked ill at the thought. She laughed a little at his face, but then realized– or rather Jane forced her to realize– that she was the cause of much of his sadness.
"Mr. Darcy," Lizzy began, causing the man to freeze, "I believe I have an apology to make. I'm sorry for the abominable way I treated you."
"What did you say that I did not deserve?" Mr. Darcy said softly.
"Don't think flattering me will do you any good," she laughed as she came to stand next to him. A ghost of a smile flickered across his features. "No, I sincerely apologize for my manner of expression. If there is good to come of it, let it come. But only remember the past as it gives you pleasure. Don't dwell in the sadness." The emotions were still rolling within her, and she rushed to hide behind a joke before he could say anything.
"Since you were friends with Miss Bingley for so long, perhaps you would be open to being friends with one more silly woman with biting words?" she asked. He laughed softly.
"No, but I would be open to being friends with a humorous woman with a sharp wit. I'll just try to avoid that wit being turned on me," he said, offering his arm.
"I know you sir," Lizzy said, taking his arm with a smile, "you like to be shocked and argued with. I'll have to vex you out of any sour mood."
"By all means, vex away," he said, feeling lighter and looking happier than he had in weeks. He could hardly wait to tell his sister. Both Georgiana and Jane, for he already considered Jane a sister.