Warnings and disclaimer in Chapter 1. Enjoy.
"You're thinking our world was perfect," Katherine started, looking each man in the face. "I guess for a time it was. Earth was taking its first steps into the galaxy, and my family was leading the way. Endless adventure and wonders we could only dream about. Near misses that caused all this grey hair, but always SG-1 somehow triumphed. You became the four most famous people on the planet. It seemed like nothing could touch you. Then came Nassya." It seemed the temperature dropped at its name.
"Jolinar," Daniel whispered. Katherine nodded.
"My daughter, one of the four indestructible people standing between Earth and its destruction, became infected with a Goa'uld." She was silent for a moment. "The world was shocked. Sam was an idol to almost everyone, and now she was the enemy. Our perfect little bubble had burst."
"What happened?" Daniel asked in a whisper.
"George tried to keep her condition a secret, but word leaked out. Everyone wanted to put in their two cents on what to do with her now. Eventually the COC stepped in."
"COC?" Jack asked.
"Civilian Oversight Committee," she explained. "They provide oversight for Top Secret military projects."
"Ah," Jack nodded in recognition. "We call our rats the NID."
"They were very interested in the Stargate," she told them, "but when Apophis attacked and the gate was made public, they lost their jurisdiction. They no longer had one hand in the cookie jar and were looking for a way back in. Sam gave them an opportunity."
"Tell me you didn't give her to them?" Jack asked, voicing the terrible thought that came into his head. Katherine looked at him pleadingly.
"You have to understand, Colonel, the world was united like never before by the fear of the Goa'uld. Janet wasn't sure she could safely remove the mature Goa'uld. The COC had been studying the dead immature Goa'uld removed from Kowalski. They promised they could replicate the results. Plus, the COC still operated in secrecy, which was needed to keep her safe."
"Safe from what?" Daniel asked.
"After the battle there was a religious resurgence," Katherine explained, "centered around the religions of ancient cultures."
"Like Apophis and the Gods of the Egyptian mythology?" Daniel asked excitedly. "The ones most likely a Goa'uld would impersonate." She nodded.
"For the most they were peaceful groups who believed that if we worship the Goa'uld they won't hurt us. For example, if a Goa'uld claiming to be Zeus returns and people are worshipping him, he will leave us in peace."
"That is highly unlikely," Teal'c stated.
"Believe me, I know," she agreed. "But these groups were convinced they're saving the world by worshiping the ancient Gods. Most were harmless so we just let them be, but some were extremely radicalized. When they heard Sam was infected, there were talks of liberating her so she could lead them in their revolution, overthrow all the governments of the world, and unite the world under a single God for the first time ever."
Jack whistled. "Wow," he remarked. "I think someone needs to switch to decaf." She smiled sadly.
"So you see Jack, when the COC offered a safe place where they could remove the Goa'uld, we jumped at their offer."
"And you didn't know what they would do to her?" Jack asked in shock. Katherine shook her head.
"To be fair, Jack," Daniel started, coming to her defense, "the NID didn't show their true colors until we rescued the Tollan. If they never met them, or any advanced race they could take advantage of, there's no reason to think that any offer to help would be less than genuine."
"What did they do?" Hammond asked quietly.
"They took her to an undisclosed location in the middle of the night. A week later I received a phone call. There were complications during the extraction procedure. Sam died on the operating table."
"And you believed them?" This time it was Daniel's shocked voice that sounded out in the room. She shook her head.
"I asked for her body to be returned for burial, but they denied my request, claiming national security. The President agreed with them, but he did insist the autopsy report, and the videos of both the autopsy and original surgery, as well as any samples and test results be made available to the SGC." She looked at Jack. "Janet looked over everything they sent. She ran DNA analysis to make sure the samples came from Sam. She even watched both videos intently. She was certain Sam was dead. We questioned the COC, but we didn't question Janet."
She looked down at her hands, clenched together tightly on the tabletop, lost in thought, before raising her head and looking at everyone in the room. "The President declared a National Day of Mourning. Several other countries did as well. Her funeral was televised, one of the most watched events that year. Full military honors. The President as well as several foreign Heads of State in attendance. It was truly special. Then it was over, and time moved on."
"But I thought Sam..." Jack trailed off. He looked at Katherine in confusion. She nodded.
"I was left with a daughter and granddaughter to raise. Jacob retired to help and for a while everything was alright. The fervor the Stargate brought to the world was quelled. The world continued its explorations, only this time the excitement was tempered by the very real threat. And then Jacob got sick."
"Cancer," Jacob said gently. She nodded.
"The SGC was still very much in the public's eye. SG-1 was still a favorite, as were we by extension. When Jacob was diagnosed with cancer, the world followed it religiously. Janet supervised his treatment and tried to ensure his privacy, but word leaked out. George was good at keeping the press away as much as possible. The Academy Hospital is, of course, restricted, but our home." She paused, shaking her head in disbelief. "Reporters were camped out in the street in front of our house. Then, while Jacob was undergoing treatment, an agent from the COC asked to speak with me. He led me to a private room and asked if I had any contact with my daughter."
"The daughter they previously declared dead." Jack shook his head in disbelief.
"I was so shocked I couldn't figure out what he was asking for at first. I thought he was referring to Amy and kept pointing to the waiting room. After a few minutes he simply shook his head and left. When I told George what happened, he started doing some digging. What he found still haunts me."
"What did they do her?" Jack asked softly.
"They tortured her," she told them, tears in her eyes. "They would experiment on her, comparing how the symbiote influences recuperation time. She was shot, stabbed, burned, drugged, subjected to all kinds of biological and chemical weapons. All recorded diligently for future study. Her interrogations were easier to witness. She was only beaten, shocked, and waterboarded when she refused to answer. Eventually the Goa'uld took longer and longer to heal Sam's injuries. It eventually died, but that didn't stop them from continuing."
"Oh God," Daniel exclaimed, getting slightly sick from hearing this. "Didn't Jolinar tell them who she was?"
"She tried at first, but they weren't interested. Eventually she stopped trying. They both did." She paused, studying the table for a minute before continuing. "They experimented on her for three months after the symbiote died. She was completely lifeless by the end. A shell of the person she had been would have been an improvement. Then Jacob got sick. They taunted her with that knowledge. It stirred something inside her, something only those of us who truly knew her would notice. She escaped three days later."
"And when they couldn't find her, they came to you," Jack snarled in disgust. "Idiots in any dimension."
"Eventually, through George's digging, word got out that she wasn't as dead as they told everyone and that she escaped. Kinsey, who was disgraced in politics and had officially joined the COC, tried to spin it in their favor. He portrayed Sam as a deranged psychopath walking in our midst. He instigated a worldwide manhunt. He even coordinated a stakeout on our family and SG-1, thinking she would try and make contact again. Nothing worked. Then Jacob took a turn for the worse. While he was on his deathbed, Kinsey and his goons set up an ambush. They were certain she would visit him one last time." She laughed hysterically for a second. "He was finally right about something." She paused for a moment, lost in her memories. "She snuck into his hospital room. I was supposed to signal if she managed to get that far, but I had no intention of handing my daughter back to those people, even before I knew what they did to her. I stayed in the back and just watched them talk quietly. She held his hand while he died. Then she turned and looked at me." She shuddered.
"Katherine?" Hammond asked, noticing how pale the other woman suddenly got.
"It was like looking at a stranger," she began in a haunted voice. "She was covered in scars, but the thing that scared me the most was the look in her eyes. I can't even begin to describe what I saw in her eyes. She simply released Jacob's hand and said, 'they will never hurt this family again'. Then she walked into the ambush." She stopped to gather her thoughts as she lost herself in her memories. She absently wiped a tear from her eye. "There was very little collateral damage by the time she walked out of the hospital, and the damage that did happen was all structural. Nobody was hurt; not the staff or the patients or their visitors, but every member of the COC's retrieval team was dead. And not just dead. Their bodies were gruesomely mutilated. Kinsey used this to further his message that she was insane and dangerous. And it worked, until the details of her imprisonment started coming to light. The COC had created a monster and thought they could control her. Their arrogance cost us the world." She refocused on the general. "The world was starting to realize the innocent victims of the COC weren't as innocent as they thought. Some even thought they deserved what they got. All the while, agents of the COC kept turning up dead. High level leadership kept going missing. Eventually Kinsey was the sole member."
"Bet he loved that," Jack smirked. Katherine smiled maliciously.
"He was in extreme panic mode. He needed protection but nobody wanted to help. I will always remember the smug satisfaction Jack had when Kinsey had the nerve to come to my home on the two-month anniversary of Jacob's death. He begged us to help him, to reason with my daughter, because everybody knew she was behind this reign of terror even if law enforcement couldn't prove it. Jack's face when he shut the door on Kinsey was priceless."
"Yes," Jack whooped. "At least on version of him gets what he deserves."
"Colonel," George warned. "Need I remind you Kinsey is currently a United States Senator."
"Doesn't mean he's not an ass, Sir," Jack replied. Hammond glared at him for a moment before motioning Katherine to continue.
"The good, former Senator disappeared shortly thereafter," Katherine told them. "Shockingly, not many people were concerned with his recovery. But that still left us with a huge problem. The COC might have deserved everything they got, but Sam was still out there. They all knew she was behind the murders and disappearances, but no one could stop her. No one could even find her. Then things started getting weird."
"Weird how?" Davis spoke up for the first time.
"We lost communication with the Antarctic gate. At first nobody was too concerned. They had quarantine protocols that include communication blackouts. The International Committee sent a team, but we never heard from them. NASA repositioned one of their satellites to fly over the base. Everything looked fine but still there was a sense that something was wrong. More teams were sent and still nothing. Then we lost touch with New Zealand and the southern tip of South America. Australia and South Africa soon followed. More teams were sent and still nothing. Satellite images didn't show anything wrong. It was as if an invisible line were moving up the globe and everything below that line disappeared. Only nothing disappeared. You could still see everything from space; only everything had stopped. Whole cities just stopped. We still have no idea what happened. Our only clue came months after this started happening."
"What did you discover?" Teal'c asked calmly. She looked at the Jaffa.
"The satellite used for secure communications with the Antarctic gate had been receiving continuously since the start and finally had enough data to transmit to the SGC. It showed an eight second video clip of Sam dialing the gate."
"How did the world react?" Jack asked though he had a pretty good idea already.
"My youngest daughter's reaction about sums it up," she said solemnly. "Sam became public enemy number one. People hoped she would be able to undo whatever she did, but she was as elusive as ever. Anytime anyone did track her down, she killed them. Eventually the world stopped looking and focused on survival instead. George opened the gate to everyone, even going as far as moving the gate out of the mountain and flying the gate from place to place. Thank God our colonization programs were already up and running. We were able to save a significant percent of our population, and rescue efforts were still underway when we were abducted."
"Abducted?" Hammond asked. Katherine looked down, frowning uncomfortably.
"I don't think she ever meant to hurt us," she started, staring at the table. "She promised Jacob she would protect the family. Mark was one of the first people to head up colonization. He and his family were safe, but Amy and I were traveling with the gate, unwilling to leave until SG-1 was able to leave. They were guarding the gate, facilitating the evacuation of Earth and providing a much-needed calming influence to counter the panic that was starting to set." She sighed deeply. "I'm not sure how she managed to get past them, but one night we went to bed in our guest quarters, and we woke up in a cell in Area 51. She told us this was where the COC had taken her, but she cleansed it and now it would keep us safe. She just needed a little more time then she would take us away. And if anyone ever came for us, she would kill each and every one of them." She finally looked up.
"I love my daughter and I would do anything for her. This was the first time I understood my daughter was gone and I'm very afraid of the thing that took her place. I tried everything to keep Amy and Grace safe, not that she ever tried to hurt any of us, but nothing ever worked. Then one day the SGC showed up. Teams distracted Sam long enough for SG-1 to rescue us, but Sam caught up with us as we were leaving. I don't even think she recognized anyone, only that they were trying to take us from her. She attacked. Daniel hid us in the room while Teal'c and Jack tried to lead her away. There was an explosion in the hall. The force pushed us towards the back wall towards something resting under a tarp. Then we found ourselves here."
"Wow," Jack commented. "What happened to us? The other us?"
"I don't know," she admitted. "I know Sam would never hurt you, but I don't know if she's capable of recognizing you right now." She turned and looked at Hammond. "And I don't know how you can help us, or even if you should. Our world made this mess. We should be the ones to pay the price."
"Stupid piece of space junk!" Janet slowed as she neared her destination. Sounds of a struggle echoed down the hallway and it sounded like Sam was losing. A loud clang sounded as Janet approached the door. She paused in the doorway and watched as her friend tried everything she could think of to pry the casing off the artifact she was currently studying. "God damn piece of shit!" she shouted as she used a hammer and chisel to try and make a dent in the casing. Finally she screamed in frustration and flung the tools away in an uncharacteristic fit of rage. They made a dull clanking sound as they came to rest against the concrete wall.
"I think it's winning," Janet said, announcing her presence. Sam looked up sharply. "What is it?" Janet asked, taking a couple steps into the lab.
"I have no idea," Sam admitted, her shoulders dropping in resignation, rounding the workbench to pick up her tools. "Area 51 sent everything we collected in that room where Daniel found the mirror. They hoped that some of the artifacts would help them understand the mirror, but they had as much luck as I'm having." She threw her tools on her workbench angrily, not caring how they landed, and proceeded to pace up and down her lab. "It could hold the meaning of life and the universe," she spat angrily, "or the recipe for Aunt Moora's firenut bread. But I'll never know 'cause I can't get the damn thing open!"
"Aunt who?" Janet asked, watching her friend very carefully. This tantrum was very uncharacteristic for Sam.
"Aunt Moora." Sam was waving her hands wildly, looking at Janet like she was being deliberately slow. "My mother's sister." Sam stopped suddenly, closing her eyes as she realized what she was saying. She opened her eyes and looked at her friend. "I mean Rosha's mother's sister." Janet's eyes narrowed.
"Have you been having a lot of these memory lapses?" Sam shrunk in on herself.
"It depends on who's asking," she said, coming to the workbench. She picked up her tools and carefully put them away before facing her friend. "Am I talking to Janet or Dr. Fraiser." Janet smiled.
"Janet for now," she reassured her, "although Dr. Fraiser will have a say in this before she clears you for your next mission."
"Which won't be for a while," Sam said glumly as she sank onto a stool opposite her friend.
"Sam?" Janet gently pushed. Sam sighed.
"When Jolinar first came, I fought her with everything I had. That meant she wasn't exactly in the sharing mood with me, which was fine. When she died and all her memories were dumped on me, I fought those with everything I had too. At first it was easy to differentiate. I either knew what the memory was about and it was mine, or I didn't and it was hers. It was like I had boxes in my mind, and I could file everything into either my own box or Jolinar's." She picked up a pencil and started fidgeting with it.
"When I started going out on missions again, boundaries started to get blurred. I'd have an instant opinion on things we've never seen and places we've never been. Then we met the Tok'Ra, and the boundaries completely disappeared. It was like I was meeting someone I've known for my whole life for the first time and it was confusing as hell."
"I remember," Janet said softly. Sam just nodded. She looked down at her hands, realizing that they were fidgeting, and deliberately put the pencil in its place inside the drawer.
"As we've been working with the Tok'Ra, I've been able to firm up those walls. I've developed my own opinions about them, not solely relying on Jolinar's. But the grief of killing Martouf was powerful enough to wash those walls away completely and I feel myself overwhelmed in her pain." She got up and started pacing angrily again. "Pain I know isn't completely mine, but that doesn't change how much it hurts. And Colonel O'Neill and I are having our personal lives scrutinized and we'll possibly be disciplined because of a relationship that doesn't exist. And now I have a child who doesn't even know who I am and a mother and sister who hate me! I am being punished for all this shit and none of it is my fault!" She started screaming. She grabbed the artifact from her workbench and threw it across the room. It hit the cement with a dull clang before bouncing back towards the workbench. It skidded across the floor until it was directly under the workbench.
"Hopefully that wasn't the meaning of life stuff," Janet remarked as Sam got on her knees to retrieve it.
"Wouldn't matter if I still can't get the stupid thing open," Sam remarked, straightening up with the artifact in her hand. She examined it carefully. "Didn't even scratch it," she said, putting the artifact down in the center of the table and looking at her friend.
"Feel better?" she asked.
"Not really," she told her honestly. They sat there staring at the artifact for a few minutes. "So which one sent you?"
"What?" Janet asked innocently.
"The guys," Sam elaborated. "The ones who saw me rush out of the room in the middle of a briefing. I know they're worried about me."
"We're all worried about you, Sam," Janet interjected. "You're grieving for Martouf, who became a dear friend to Sam Carter regardless of Jolinar's leftover feelings. You were supposed to have another two weeks to grieve, not rush back to the SGC for a situation we both know you can't help but get involved in. Not to mention the new family." Sam sighed. Janet reached out and covered Sam's hands with her own. "It's okay to not be okay." Sam nodded before running her hand through her hair in dismissal.
"So which one do I have to reassure? Daniel? Teal'c? The Colonel?"
"Yes," Janet said slowly, watching Sam carefully. Sam sighed. "They thought you might need some girl time before they barge in."
"Girl time?" Sam asked. "Like trashy romances and chick flicks and guy bashing?"
"Or we could start with ice cream and see where that takes us." Sam stood up straight at the unexpected voice. She slowly turned towards the door, her eyes wide with fear. Katherine Carter stood in the doorway; one hand poised as if to knock. "Daniel said he would get us some of the good stuff. Or I can leave you in peace." She took a hesitant step inside the room. "I just wanted to say that I don't hate you. Even though you're not technically my daughter, I love you. I will always love you."
"Thank you," Sam said, tears running down her face. She wiped at them angrily. "Sorry. I'm not usually this emotional." Katherine smiled.
"Never be afraid to cry in front of me."
"Mom." Sam broke down. She suddenly found herself engulfed in strong arms as she cried. Janet discreetly shut the door before moving to Sam's other side, gently rubbing patterns on her back and shoulders.