Chapter 4: Animal in a Cage
"Dr. Crane!"
Dr. Quinzel called as she jogged after Dr. Crane outside the doctor's lounge. Dr. Crane held a clipboard in hand and pen tucked in his pocket. His brown hair slicked back and glasses down the bridge of his nose. A tall and slender man with an elongated nose but kind eyes, he looked back to his young colleague and smiled.
"Dr. Quinzel, how are you today?"
"I'm fair, Jonathan. Look, I have been going over Atkins' file after the cutting incident. Coralline Atkins. It's… interesting."
"She's quite the fascinating character, isn't she? An apex for the ambitious psychologist who is enchanted by the insane. What would you like to know?"
Dr. Quinzel tried not to fumble her words as she fought with her nerves, "I'd like to assess her for my trial. I think she would benefit from the positive interaction. I need you to sign off on it but…"
"Oh, Harleen. I don't think Coralline meets the criteria for your trial. She's very behavioural. Just last week she threw her chair at me, she recently cut her wrists. Very, very unpredictable."
"That's another thing…" Dr. Quinzel interjected, "I think it would be best if I took this patient from under your wing. She may benefit from a female doctor, and I don't think she's been gaining much control from your sessions. I'd like to know where all of that anger is coming from."
Dr. Crane held his hand up to silence her, "My sessions with Coralline are ongoing, Harleen. It's taken a lot of time to get to where we are, and switching psychologists this late may aggravate her even more. I appreciate there may have been a 'bond' made when you assisted in the incident last week, but this is highly irregular. I'm sorry, you will need to find another patient for your trial."
Before Crane could walk away, Quinzel snapped, "You do know the reason why she cut, right, Dr. Crane? She was trying to avoid your session. She would rather harm herself than sit down in your office. Pretty odd considering HRS patients look forward to any stimulation outside their cells."
"Well…" Crane coughed a chuckle, "She isn't fond of much. One minute she is calm, the next she is savage. It's hard to understand why she does anything. I'm trying to understand it, so please, leave me to my patient."
"I'm sorry," Dr. Quinzel's eyes went steely, "Did you just call her 'savage'? I should also point out you've got her on almost every anti-psychotic under the sun, some of these are uppers interfering with downers, which can definitely cause a hysteric reaction. You have just 'talk therapy' as your chosen method with her when she has BPD, dialectical behaviour therapy should be specified."
"Talk therapy is an umbrella term, Dr. Quinzel. Besides, the IED is my main focus with Coralline as of now."
"I would think any psychologist worth their salt would want to address the borderline personality disorder first. Regardless, I now have enough information to take this to the Warden and file a complaint with the Ombudsman of the Psychiatric Board. Now I like you, Jonathan, I think you're a nice guy, but if you do not sign over Atkins to me, I'll have no choice but to make these concerns heard. Do you want that on your record?"
Dr. Crane's soft eyes went cold as ice like the flip of a switch. He glared down Quinzel, who was undaunted. He warned, "You do understand this is creating a friction in our so far amicable working relationship."
"I do. But I'm not thinking about you and me, Jonathan. I'm thinking about the patient. Maybe you should, too."
Dr. Crane stayed his pensive glare for a while longer. He raised his chin and pushed his glasses up his nose, "Very well. I'll do the paperwork. She's yours."
Dr. Quinzel exaggerated a passive-aggressive smile, "Thank you, Dr. Crane. I appreciate your delegation."
In her office, Dr. Quinzel looked over Coralline's file once again. Her behaviours were coming up in red, stamped 'danger' along the paper. The words were bouncing in her head as she skimmed the files.
Extremely violent, caution needed
Unpredictable
Prone to outbursts
Her record of incidents was over five pages long, and Quinzel was beginning to feel sweat gather under her blouse. Used a pen to stab CO, brunt force with chair, scratching, kicking, slapping, biting, punching, head butting. Multiple stays in Intensive Psychiatric— the padded cells. Refused to be treated by a number of psychologists. Abusive and inappropriate language. Can only be transferred by a few select officers: Officer Ruby Morello has built a rapport with Atkins and should be delegated to transfers for patient.
Quinzel pulled out her radio and spoke clearly, "Abel 6, this is Dr. Harleen Quinzel, do you read? Over."
After a few moments, Morello spoke through, "This is Abel 6 answering, doctor. Over."
"Can you bring Coralline Atkins to my office for her session please? Over."
"Yup. I'll finish up with Zsasz and bring her with Officer Bolton assisting. Give me about 10 minutes. Over."
Dr. Quinzel released a deep, repenting sigh as she sat frozen to her desk. The fear of who was coming to her office was beginning to set in. She grabbed the pens from her desk and picture of herself and Daniel, placing them in her bottom drawer. Anything that could be used as a weapon was taken out of reach. She kept Atkins file and her notepad before her seat, and the pen she would be using for notes in her pocket.
In HRS, Officer Bolton was already coming up to Atkins cell. She sat to her bed unmoving, her head craned down between her knees. When she heard the jangle of his cuffs she glanced up. Upon seeing Officer Bolton, Coralline reanimated quickly. She sprang from her bed and clamoured to her window in a growl.
"Get the fuck away from my room! Go! Fuck off! Piece of shit!"
Officer Morello appeared around the corner and pushed passed Bolton to the door window.
"It's okay, Coralline, take it easy! We're taking you to see Dr. Quinzel, okay? Do you want to see her? She's your new doctor."
Coralline asked in heavy breath, "She's my doctor now?"
"Yes. She is. Do you want to go to your session with her?"
"Yeah!"
"Okay, well you need to calm down first and come with us nicely, alright? I'm gonna open this door and put your cuffs on, okay?"
"Okay… not him! He's not touching me! Fucking chode!" Coralline slammed her hand on the window whilst glaring at Bolton. He only smirked in amusement.
"Okay…" Officer Morello sighed and looked back to Bolton, "Stay back, please."
"Oh, don't worry," replied Bolton, "She's all yours, Ruby."
Ruby used her swipe card over the reader and Coralline's door clicked.
"Step away from the door!" Bolton barked at Atkins.
"Eat shit!" She squalled back.
Morello held her hand up to Bolton, "Just… let me take the lead, okay? She doesn't like you."
"I figured," he replied.
Morello opened the door and Coralline stood adjacent to her. Her black hair dangling to her face and eyes shadowed. She held her arms up for Morello to shackle. The cuffs clicked and chains rattled, all while Coralline kept a cold glare at Bolton.
"Okay," Morello said as she stepped away from the door, "You ready? Let's go."
Coralline walked ahead and Morello gently took hold of her left upper arm and led her down the hallway. As the other inmates caught wind of Coralline walking passed their cells, the HRS wing erupted in fervent howling and whistling. They stuck their tongues out lecherously at their windows, banging on the cell doors making suggestive noises.
"There goes the screamer, guys!"
"Show us your tits!"
"Hey baby! You like what you see, huh?"
Coralline scowled to their catcalling and mocking— fighting the urge to lift her middle finger or howl curses back. But she wanted to see Dr. Quinzel. She didn't want to spoil her chance to see a doctor that wasn't Crane.
"The sweetheart of HRS, eh, Atkins?" Officer Bolton amusingly asked. Morello looked back at him with a glare.
She kept quiet, even though she mentally replied, 'Shut the fuck up, you sock-fucker.'
They walked from HRS and to the elevators. Morello stayed back with Bolton as he pressed the button. They walked in and he pressed the button for main floor. Coralline lazily rested her back against the wall.
Bolton growled, "Stand up straight." He went to take her left arm and pull her away. His finger touched her sleeve and Coralline clenched her teeth and hissed.
"Don't fucking touch me!"
Morello chimed, "Just… let her do it."
Bolton rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, looking away from Coralline. The elevator doors opened to the hallway with doctors passing through. When they noticed Coralline Atkins, they immediately fled to the nearest room, stood against the wall, and overall keeping their distance from the unruly patient. Her reputation proceeded her through the halls. She was known for her violent nature, her unpredictability, her history. No one dared to make eye contact or affront her. They came up to Dr. Quinzel's door and knocked.
"Come in!"
They opened the doors for Coralline who walked in first. Her small height was Dr. Quinzel's first impression of her. 5.3 ft. Nearly a foot shorter than herself. She was slim and fair. She stood at her desk and smiled, "Hello Coralline. Please come in."
Morello asked, "You want one of us to stay in here with you?" Coralline made an audible scoff.
"No," Dr. Quinzel replied, "I'm good. You can leave us."
"Yeah, get out." Coralline shot her glare back at the two. Morello made an uneasy stare at Dr. Quinzel as she clasped the door handle.
"I'll be right outside. Press the button if you need me."
As they were left alone, Coralline took the time to look around at her office. Dr. Quinzel observed her for a while. She was analyzing the room, looking for something to take or use for her advantage. Time to distract.
"Come take a seat, please."
Coralline lazily walked to Quinzel's chair and slouched down. Dr. Quinzel took her seat behind the desk.
"Alright. Well, it's nice to meet you! Properly this time… last time was pretty chaotic."
"Yeah, I'd imagine it was chaotic for you." Coralline's voice was soft and feminine, high-pitched and childish, it was the first time Dr. Quinzel heard it when she wasn't screaming.
Quinzel ignored the jibe and addressed, "I'm Dr. Quinzel, I'll be your psychologist from here on out. I am really excited to get to know you, Coralline. You want to tell me a bit about yourself?"
Coralline's eyes were fixed on the 'Hang in there' kitten poster behind Dr. Quinzel's head.
"Coralline?"
"That poster is fucking annoying."
Dr. Quinzel looked back and faintly smiled, "You don't like it?"
"No. It's bullshit."
Quinzel pressed her lips and nodded before standing up from her chair and ripping the poster off the wall and crumbling it then throwing in the trash.
"Fair. It's cheesy. It's not a problem, anymore. Now let's talk a bit about you. You were here before I started working at Arkham. What brought you here?"
"Murder."
"Right… I seen you worked for the mob. Had your own title, too. 'Corrosa', where does that come from?"
"Corrosion."
"Like acids?"
"Yup."
Dr. Quinzel nodded uneasily, "Says here you were very skilled in chemistry. Grade A student, a laundry list of extracurricular activities after school, upper-class family, well liked and affable. An idyllic childhood. You had a very close relationship with your mother, Yumi Atkins. Would you say her death was the breaking point to choose crime?"
"I'm not talking about my mom."
Dr. Quinzel leaned in and folded her hands to her table, "Why does the topic of your mother scare you, Coralline?"
"I don't get fucking scared! I just don't want to talk about her. Is that clear?"
"You're very hostile right now, Coralline. Where is this anger coming from?"
"You!"
"Your mother is clearly a sensitive subject for you. I feel your anger is a deflection from the topic so you don't have to relive the pain. This is a safe place to talk about her, Coralline. Your emotions are valid."
"Shut the fuck up! You don't know me!" Coralline sprang from her chair and slapped Quinzel's desk. She pressed the button underneath her desk for officer assistance.
The door opened and emerged Officer Morello and Bolton. Coralline was still screaming at Dr. Quinzel, who was now backed against the wall with her arms up.
"You've known me for 30 seconds, so don't make fucking assumptions about me!"
"Coralline! That's enough!" Morello shouted and marched to grab Coralline's arm— who thrashed away. Bolton grabbed Coralline up under the arms and carried her from Quinzel's office. Morello followed and assisted. Her screams ripped through the halls, still echoing into Quinzel's office even after they were out of her window view.
"You sure she's a good choice for this trial, Harleen?" Morello asked as she sat in Quinzel's office chair, both enjoying salads for their lunch break, "You'll have your work cut out for you with her. She's been here since she was twenty-two, and she's never improved. If anything, she's gotten worse."
"There's a source of that anger. I know it. I saw it. I brought up her mom and she just exploded. I've seen it so many times. The anger is the deflection, the distraction, so she doesn't have to talk about her past. It's worked for her, it worked for her today. I dropped the ball by pressing that button, I was scared. Next time, I can't be."
"You kinda have every right to be scared," shrugged Morello as she picked a piece of carrot.
"How did you make headway with her? She likes you. How did you do it?"
"I let her call the shots. Within reason, of course. But when she needs a firm hand, she respects it. It's knowing when to talk her down and when to be soft. Her triggers and pre-cursors. Talking about her mom is a big no."
"But I need to talk about her mom. Or she does. It's the only way to get down to that aggression."
"Okay, well. Maybe start small. She likes a bit of humour, let that loose a bit. Butter her up. Talk about her growing up first. She had a good childhood; she'll have no problems talking about that. Ask her about her friends. She did ballet. Supposedly she was really good, did recitals and shit."
Dr. Quinzel nearly choked on her lettuce from an erupting chortle, "She did ballet? Atkins was a ballerina?"
"Yup," laughed Morello, "President of the Future Leaders club, too."
The two shared a laugh before taking a few more bites from their salads.
Morello added, "Try not to ask her too much about chemistry. It's in her file, she used her knowledge pretty maliciously. Damn shame, too. With that skill she could have been a legend in the scientific field. Just stick to her rosy teenage life for now. Reminisce her glory days. Build that rapport and when she's comfortable, ask her about her mom."
"Hmph," Quinzel smirked, "The Atkins Whisperer."
"Hey, I was dealing with that kid since I started. She's scared the shit out of me a handful of times, but there's a good girl hidden underneath. Very hurt and angry. Driven by revenge. Today didn't go well, but tomorrow is a new day. Coralline has time to reflect on what she did in her shitty metal box, and tomorrow she'll know if she doesn't play ball, she'll go back in there."
"Come in!"
Dr. Quinzel's door opened and in walked Coralline again with Morello and Bolton at her back. It was the day after her last session, and Dr. Quinzel's nerves were uneasy— but she appeared steady.
"Hello, Coralline. Take a seat."
She walked in again, almost stomping her way to the chair and thudding down on it. Her chains ringing.
"Okay, before we get started, I need to lay down some rules."
Coralline raised her brow in judgement, "Okay?"
"Yesterday was not acceptable. You use fear and violence to get control and if you want to keep attending these sessions with me, it won't fly any longer. In here you are not in HRS, this is a safe place to talk. You will respect my company and the importance of your mental health. You will not scream or use obscene language with me or I will cancel the session. I am here to help you and you will grant me with the respect that entails. Do you understand?"
Dr. Quinzel's voice had lost its charm, it was now stern and deep— scolding and authoritative. Coralline raised her shoulders and everted eye contact, "Whatever. Fine. Sorry."
Dr. Quinzel reformed to her cheery self, "Good. Thank you, Coralline. You do that, I promise I will not ask questions that make you uncomfortable. If you do not want to visit a topic you will kindly say so, and we will change the subject. You are in charge in this room, you don't need to act out to prove it, okay? But you need to respect me if you want me to respect you."
"I get it, okay?"
"Okay… now, let's talk about your days at Gotham High. You were pretty popular and had a good group of friends. Ran charitable fundraisers. Excelled in all your subjects. Especially chemistry, but you had a lot of after school activities. I hear you liked ballet."
"Yeah… I could nail a perfect grand jete."
"What's that?"
"A dance move. One of the hardest ones. Basically, doing the splits in the air."
"Impressive. Ballet is a disciplined skill. A lot of practice and agility."
"I was in gymnastics since I was four, so a lot of the dance moves came naturally for me."
"If you had to describe how you felt when you performed, how would you?"
"Free. Constantly trying to improve. Perfect. Like you're a princess and everyone wants to see you. There are a million things going on at once, a million thoughts. The execution, the music, the lights, the itch in my ass crack from the chiffon. I'm spinning and leaping. But… it's so calm. I got to tell a story without words. I loved it."
"Sounds magical," Dr. Quinzel smiled.
"It was. It was right up there with chemistry."
"Would you have wanted to make a career out of it?"
Coralline blew a raspberry, "Nah. I loved it but it's not something I wanted to do forever. My mom said it was good for discipline, but I wanted that discipline with other talents. I wanted to be a chemist."
Dr. Quinzel changed the subject, "Taking in all of these activities. Gymnastics, ballet, school clubs, piano lessons, my god… the list goes on. That all with schoolwork, friends, and just life at home, how did you juggle all of this? I'm sure it must have been really stressful for you."
Coralline shrugged, "I was raised by a good mom. She wanted me to be the best I could be. I did, too. She taught me to give to the needy. Smile at the dropheads on the street, even when they look at you like you're a meal. Bake cookies for the teachers. I wanted to bring honour to her. It was just something I had to do."
"Your mother meant a lot to you."
"I want to change the subject."
"Okay," Dr. Quinzel nodded and praised, "Thank you for telling me respectfully. How about school life? You had a lot of friends?"
"Yeah a few," Coralline smirked to herself and looked down, "They are probably all married with babies by now."
"Fond memories with them?"
"Yeah… they were pretty stuck-up, but I used to laugh so hard with them. You know when you find something funny, and you keep adding things on making it funnier and funnier till you laugh so hard you can't breathe?"
Dr. Quinzel chuckled, "Yup. I love that feeling. Have you spoken to them since school? Did anyone of them reach out to you when you were arrested?"
"No," Coralline looked up to her, "Why would they? I'm a psycho, remember?"
"Surely that bothers you."
"Whatever." Coralline shrugged, "They showed their true colours when my mom died. I didn't need them."
"I know you don't want to talk about your mom, but what about your dad?"
Coralline furrowed her brows, "Next."
"Oh, come now. A Falcone goon and considering what he did, I'd think you want to piss on his grave a little bit. Don't hold back."
Coralline looked as if she was going to jump from her seat and cause another scene, but she sat and thought for a moment.
"He was a fuck."
"How so?"
"He was gone for like weeks on end. White drunken asshole. I never saw him. I didn't have a relationship with him. He was just the guy who would come home once a fortnight piss drunk, break shit, and my mom would try to stop him but…"
"I know about the domestic violence between your mother and father, Coralline. You shared it with the police that night, so it's documented. You don't have to dive into it. Did he ever… hurt you?"
"No…" Coralline replied aloofly, "Just her."
"You were witness to a lot of it?"
Coralline stayed quiet, looking down she slowly looked up and nodded.
"I'm sorry…"
Inside Dr. Quinzel's mind she was hailing her own celebration, 'She's opening up about her mom! About her family!"
She tried her luck again, "When did the abuse start?"
"I don't know…" Coralline replied, "Like when I was… nine? I think. It was probably happening before that, and I was just too young to see it."
"What would you do while it was happening?"
"Hide in my closet. Cover my ears. Cry. I did try to stop it once when I was fifteen."
"What came of that?"
"He slapped me across the face." Coralline responded stoically, no emotional reserve in her reply, "That was the only time he hit me. He left and the next time he came back he…"
Coralline froze, her eyes beginning to swell. Dr. Quinzel tried her luck even more, "That's when he killed her?"
"I wanna stop the session."
"Coralline, we still have thirty minutes left…"
"I want to stop the session!"
It was the next day, Friday. Day before the weekend. Dr. Quinzel stayed hopeful she would get what she needed from Coralline in their session so she could enrol her in the program.
"How do you deal with stress, Miss Quinzel? Face mask? Foot massage? Sex?" Jay made a crooked smile as he sat across from Dr. Quinzel, who looked anything but amused.
"Jay… that's inappropriate, I've told you this many times. We were talking about how you deal with stress in HRS, remember? Not me."
"You look stressed, Quinzy. What's going on at home? Are you dealing with it? Do you want to tell me anything?"
Suddenly the radio blurred on Dr. Quinzel's belt, "Dr. Quinzel, this is Abel 6 coming in. Over."
Jay tilted his head and shrugged, "You should answer that."
Dr. Quinzel groaned and angrily swiped her radio and spoke, "This is Dr. Quinzel. I'm in a session with a patient. Over."
"We have a situation with Atkins. She's upset, saying she wants to go for her session right now. I told her I'd radio you. Over."
"Her session is in an hour, Morello. I think she can wait. Over."
"She's pretty insistent. She's been throwing tantrums for the last thirty minutes. She wants to talk to you. Over."
Dr. Quinzel released a sigh and thumped her radio on the table.
Jay chuckled, "You're seeing Atkins now. No wonder you're stressed."
"Bring her down, I'm just finishing up with Doe. Over."
Jay raised his shoulders, "Wait… what? We have forty minutes left."
"Copy that. I'll bring her down shortly. Over."
"Jay, it's been weeks and every session you've been wasting my time. You avoid your history, your emotions, your problems. Like it's a game. I have patients that want my help. When you're ready to open up, we can go the full session. Till then, I have others who will. Bolton!"
Jay slumped in his chair and exhaled, "Oh, come on…"
The door opened and Bolton walked in.
"Take him back to HRS. Our session is over."
Jay giggled, "You're so hot when you're mad."
Bolton barked, "Get moving, clown. Back to the resort."
Jay groaned as he sat up from his chair and said, "I guess I'll see you next time, Miss. Quinzel. Have fun with Hello Kitty."
As Bolton and Jay left her office and passed the window, Morello and Coralline passed them towards the door. She walked in with determination, didn't greet or stare for too long before plopping down in the patient chair from Dr. Quinzel.
"You can leave us." Dr. Quinzel said to Morello.
Coralline was red in the face, tears still wetted her cheeks, and scratch marks along her neck.
"What's going on, Coralline?" Dr. Quinzel asked in worry.
"I don't want to stay in my cell. There's too much in my head."
Dr. Quinzel hung her head down and sighed, "Coralline, I get it. But you have a designated time for your session. You got your way this once, but it won't be happening again. You need to wait for your sessions."
"The cell becomes too much, okay? So much that it's hard to breathe. I want out of my cell, and I can give you something you want."
"What is that?"
"I wanna tell you about my mother."
Dr. Quinzel jolted at the statement. She did not make a smile, even though the elation made that extremely difficult.
"Okay," she fumbled her notebook open, "That's fine. Start wherever you want."
"These meetings with you… they're bringing a lot back…" Coralline started to whimper, "And I want to share what she was like."
"Okay…" Quinzel uttered as she stayed calm, but Coralline was gasping in tears. "Tell me about her." She grabbed a tissue from her drawer and handed it to Coralline. She wiped it over her face before scrunching it up to her chest.
"She wanted me to have everything. My dad made the money, my mom wanted to stay at home for me. She knew if she left my dad, we wouldn't have anything…"
"She stayed with him so she could give you a comfortable life."
Coralline nodded, "Yeah. I didn't want for anything. I was spoiled upper-class trash. It was so natural to have everything that it felt like nothing. All that mattered to me was her. I wanted her to be happy. You know I'd wake up in the middle of the night and hear her crying? I knew why, too. I didn't want to hurt her more with me knowing. But I knew she was crying because of me."
"Why would she cry because of you, Coralline? She cherished you, clearly."
"Because I'm the reason she stayed with him!" Coralline choked and her chains rang as she wiped her tears away, "I tried so hard to make her happy. When she was happy I was the happiest. I still remember our dance parties— just her and me. Making gyudon beside her in the kitchen. I still remember her laugh. Until I started seeing you, all I saw was the bad. Talking to you, I'm starting to remember the good. I was afraid of the good. Because it just… it just made me miss her."
Dr. Quinzel did not speak. She knew Coralline was unloading and to not interrupt the narrative.
"Well one night, I come home from the science fair, and the lights are out. It's fucking… seven o'clock at night. My mother is never in bed that time. I called her name, no answer. I go to the kitchen to grab a snack and unload my backpack. I turn on the light, and I see my dad. He's so still. Leaning against the counter. He's dripping in sweat… and blood," she looked down and whispered through her black locks, "So much blood."
"At that moment I knew what he did. He tried to stop me, but I ran. I screamed her name, I just needed to see her! I got upstairs to her bedroom, and she was on the floor…" Coralline's voice squeaked, and she covered her mouth, "I tried to check her pulse but there was nothing. Her eyes were wide open, like she was so scared before it… before it happened. I close them and I just laid with her. My dad wouldn't dare come in; he knew he went too far. Even by his standards. He called the police, and they took him away. Took me away. And like that… I was an orphan."
Dr. Quinzel kept her eyes down and said, "I'm so sorry, Coralline."
"The cops carried me out, I couldn't walk. They got some of my statement at the station, but I couldn't talk so good. I didn't want to talk. I didn't have a next of kin. My mom's family were all in Japan. No will or inheritance. It was all seized when they found out my dad worked for Falcone's drug ring. I was taken to a girl's home. I went from upper-class princess to pauper so fast it barely happened. I didn't feel like a princess anymore. No more ballet, no more piano, no more mom. My grades started to suck, I skipped periods so I could cry in the bathroom. I started… seeing things. Horrible things. It was so hard to concentrate on anything else. After a while, felt like I was on the other side of a window… looking in on myself. Just watching as I broke more and more. I thought about death a lot. How it would feel like if I did it. I couldn't help but think it might feel like going to sleep in a warm bed. Where I was in that time was so cold. She was my warmth. She was gone. So was I."
"Did you ever act on the suicidal thoughts?" Dr. Quinzel asked shakily.
"Once… but I couldn't do it. I was too scared. God. I was so sick of being fucking scared! Then… I got angry."
"Is this when you robbed that bank?"
"Yeah…" Coralline said, "So I could kill my dad."
Dr. Quinzel spooked at this, her eyes shot wide, "Your dad died in prison. Gang-related violence?"
"No."
"Coralline… what did you…"
"I spoke with Falcone. He knew me, he knew my dad. But he wouldn't do anything unless I paid 10,000. So…"
"You robbed the bank."
"Yeah…" Coralline confessed, "Took weeks of planning. I scoped it out. Tested their alarms. Made a bomb. There was this shitty little shack behind the girl's home, like it was an old shed or something. I used that to make an incapacitating agent. Stole a gas mask from school and went for it. I hacked into their alarm system and disabled it for a time limit. Could only be a certain amount of time or else the security company would see it offline and investigate. 20 minutes. I threw the agent into the ventilation, so when the air conditioning kicked in, it knocked them out. I used the bomb to blow the safe door open. Took as much as I could, and as the alarm came on, I ran. I ran as fast as I could. As long as I could. I had never been so shit scared. But I got away with it."
"No one was hurt in that robbery, right?"
"I don't know… probably not. I didn't really care at that point, though."
"You got enough money for Falcone?"
"Yeah… and he did it. I hadn't felt anything like that before. The anger being rewarded. I was sick with delight. Falcone hired me, he was impressed with what I did. Doing something like that and getting money for it was like a bandaid over everything. It felt good each time I did it, but never lasted long."
"That sounds an awful lot like an addiction."
"Maybe it was, I don't know."
"What did Falcone have you do?"
"Rip off crime lords. Kill anyone who double-crossed him. Poisons, acids, gases, all the time. He gave me my own lab and I had so much fun. A gross amount of fun. Each life I took, I forgot myself a little more. I was a pit bull off the leash, just looking for something to dig my teeth into. I didn't go by Coralline Atkins anymore, needed an alias to keep my identity hidden. The guys were calling me 'Corrosa'. So, I became her."
"That's where the gas mask and boiler suit get-up came into play."
"She made me a lot of money. Not many friends… but she didn't want friends. She just wanted to feel better. Wreaking havoc definitely felt good."
"But the adrenaline rush didn't last long, as you said. It was never enough. You were always someone who was doing something and needed that routine to continue. Even if it was doing something illegal. Evil."
"Eventually, Carmine Falcone didn't trust me. I was getting too unpredictable and he saw that. He didn't like it. So, he ratted me out. I was sent here… and that was the end of my escapade. Fucking fucker. Two-faced prick. I should have killed him when I had the chance. So many fucking chances."
"You think killing him would have made you feel better? Or just fed a want that could never be slaked?"
"So, what? He deserved to die. Riddler was right, he's the reason this city is so fucked up. Still… I should have been the one to kill him."
"You didn't know he played you until it was too late."
"You don't get it, do you? You think I didn't know he was the reason for all of it? My dad's drinking and bullshit was encouraged by him. He's the whole reason my dad did what he did. My dad would have left us a long time ago if his life wasn't on the line and owned by Falcone. That's the whole reason he stayed, and he took his baggage out on my mom."
Tears swelled in Coralline's eyes again, she pressed her lips and meaningfully looked up at Dr. Quinzel, "And it's my fault. I'm the reason my mom couldn't leave. I could hear her getting beaten and I was so scared to move. I failed her. She loved me more than anything in the world; and I couldn't show her that."
"Don't you get it, Coralline? You did do something. You downplay all of the time and energy you put into your schooling, your ballet, your lifestyle. You smiled at dropheads, and baked cookies not because it's something you needed to do. It's something that connected you with your mother. So, when you came home with an A on an exam, it's not because you wanted to brag, but because you wanted to make her smile. You wanted to show her that she was doing something right as your mom. Despite the bullshit your father would bring home, she was a good mom because she raised you. You think she left this world thinking you let her down? She left the world knowing she had excelled as a mother, and raised a bright and kind young woman. Don't you think for one moment you failed her. You get to live on carrying her memory in your own blood, your mind, your actions."
"I'm not a child a mother would want to keep, you know that. I'm a killer. I'm a fucking loose cannon half this hospital is too afraid to even look at. I'm not the girl my mom raised, not anymore." Coralline wept.
"I disagree," interjected Dr. Quinzel, "I think you turned down a dark path because you didn't have the one you needed. You depended on your mother for everything, she was you, in a sense. Without her, you couldn't be you. So, you became what your anger wanted you to be. But deep down, you were still that sweet little girl who was grieving. Your anger and trauma caused you to do some terrible things, Coralline. But now you're here, in my office, telling me what you've done. That shows me that you are more than willing to change and become the Coralline who deserves her peace. Do you want to know why I chose you as my patient?"
"Cause you like sick little things?"
"Because I am in the middle of preparation for a clinical trial. I think you are more than suitable for the criteria, because you are someone who wants change. Who wants to reform. I knew it the second I saw you screaming in your cell. When you slashed your wrists. You were crying for help, and you weren't getting it. With me, I can promise you that you will."
"What clinical trial?"
"A program that will encourage the positive aspects of you. That will highlight your intelligence and kindness. Your high energy. Your talent. Where you can share it with others who understand your pain more than you would think. Two hours out of your cell everyday where you can finally just breathe and read a book or paint a picture. I'm offering you a second chance to be yourself. To leave Corrosa behind and embrace Coralline. What do you say? Do you want to join?"
Coralline thought for a moment, still wiping away relinquished tears. She muttered softly, "Will you be there?"
"Every step of the way."
Coralline smiled; the first smile Dr. Quinzel had ever seen her make. Bright, ebullient, and sweet. She said softly, "Okay."