chapter 29:

Kara's bones felt particularly heavy in the morning. Dragging her drousy body from under the covers took the little energy she had. She had to sit a few minutes by the side of the bed. The birds were chirping happily out her window, unaware of the human on the other side of the glass-pane. The healer had hardly slept. It would take the strongest tea for her to keep standing until her first class. She had not been able to negotiate the planning with the other masters. Grisha military training happened at dusk. Then, students had a quick breakfast before going to report to their masters. She had been stuck with the worst timeslot possible, right after lunch. She was the last class they had before a spot of free time. She was the only thing standing between her students and a breath of fresh air.

Ania and Igor tried to alleviate the frozen thoughtful expression on her face at breakfast. " Kara you've hardly eaten anything. You need your strength for this afternoon...", Igor said worried. Ania could only agree, " Did you have diner last night? We did not see you". Kara shook her head and her friends exchanged somber looks. Ania huffed, " Kara, you are acting like a student before exams. you are the TEACHER. Saints, the students should be the ones worried!". Kara chuckled," Is that what I should go for this morning? Instill fear?". Ania thought for a moment and added, " Maybe a little, just enough so that the more insolent ones don't walk all over you." The healer was not amused, " Thanks for the uplifting message Ania". Kara rubbed her tired eyes, " I just can't seem to find the right words in my head. It either sounds too unsure or too forthright. Too demanding or too lenient." Igor tried another angle. " How did you train your team in the north? The old lady and the man who looked like a wet dog". Kara pointed her clean knife at the heart-render, " Hey! Artyom did not look like that! He likes to wash his hair everyday that's all". Igor rolled his eyes, " All I mean is that you don't have to ACT any different than if you were training your own. You seem to forget we are of flesh and blood as well". Kara nibbled a spoon of porridge, " and Small Science, which makes a big difference". Igor reached out and held the healer's elbow. Kara looked puzzled, " what are you doing?". Igor seemed concentrated, " I'm trying to push a little of that Small Science through your body. Maybe you'll feel less tired and conflicted. We heart-renders can also make you FEEL emotions rather than others" Kara pulled her arm away nervously, " please don't I'll be fine". Igor seemed hurt, " You don't trust me?". Kara shook her head, " I do. Just...keep your energy for this afternoon". Ania narrowed her eyes suspiciously but said nothing. Kara forced a few mouthfuls into her mouth under the attentive stared of her two companions. It was easier than trying to explain why she had refused her friend's help.

Kara was early in the classroom to check that everything was ready. She had placed quills, ink and parchment paper at each seat for note taking. She had also negotiated with the Os Alta university for grounded medical students to copy some of the more complex anatomy diagrams for her classes. The teachers had agreed, saying it had worked quite nicely to calm a few ill-tempered apprentices. Once she was done, she paced nervously to and fro. She heard footstep and froze in apprehension. Was her first student already here? It was only when she saw dark boots and the swish of a black cloak that she relaxed. Alexhander stepped in and looked around. Kara had done well. The place looked cozy as well as adapted for learning. The general looked over at the healer who was pale and tense. " Are you ready?". Kara thought for a moment, " Yes and no. I know my training program by heart and all the concepts I want to teach. I don't know how to get through to my students though." The shadow summoner nodded, " I read through your program again last night. It is sound, interesting and innovative. The first class will prove a challenge, but the heart-renders and healers I have selected for your class are no fools. They will see that what you have to teach is precious". He stepped closer and brushed a few fingertips to her cheek, " I am convinced, so they shall be too with time". She did not pull away and shut her eyes, focusing on the warmth of his skin. Alexhander was startled at how fragile she looked in that instant.

He checked that no one was coming through the door and pulled her in a gentle embrace. She sighed and rested her head to his black kefta. They stayed a moment in silence before the general spoke, " Kara, I will assist you as I can today. However I must leave in the morning and I will be gone for several weeks". Kara tensed and opened her eyes to look at him, pulling away slightly. The healer inquired, " What's the matter?". Alexhander tried to find the right words. " It's just a hunch, but my spies have reported strange events by the Shu han border. An entire battalion of Grisha disappeared into thin air two weeks ago. I have no choice but to go there and figure out what happened." Kara nodded. She knew he had no choice. Yet the news of his soon departure frightened her. The king had boldly sent a bouquet of flowers to her room. She had refused them and left them in the hallway to wilt. What would happen once the shadow summoner or pretending lover left? Would there be no end to his courting? She pushed the fear away but felt another one which was very new. She was worried for him. She looked at him in wonder, surprised as to what she felt. She swallowed painfully, " Will you write to me? Let me know you are safe?". If the Grisha general was surprised by the request, he did not show it. He thought over the idea, " Yes, It is a good idea to keep in touch. That way maybe the king will better believe in our fabricated romance." Kara's heart sank. Her question had not been in fear of her own safety. Was all that transpired between them a forged relationship? She shook her head, " perhaps yes... but do not write anything you do not mean. Promise me you will be honest and that you will tell me how you are doing." The shadow summoner tensed. He did not like making promises. " Our letters could be read, I cannot take the risk of being open-hearted. It could be used against me". Kara looked disappointment, " Just...do not lie then. I am thankful for what you are doing to protect me. Truly. Sometimes however, I would like us to be forthright and true. Like you were with me in that clearing and I with you in the palace kitchens". Alexhander's heart was beating slightly faster. Was she saying that beyond the farce they were playing, she actually cared about him? He was relieved that the feeling he had had walking her to her chambers a few days ago was mutual.

Steps could be heard down the hall and interrupted their conversation. Alexhander quickly took a step back but smiled at her gently, " Then yes, I promise to be as honest as I can allow myself to be. And please, write back to me". She smiled, happy to have found that he too, enjoyed her company. Her heart felt lighter as the first heart-renders and healers arrived at the door. They all saluted their general as they entered and took a seat at the arranged tables. Some seemed closed off and annoyed to be present. Others seemed curious and unsure. Luka smiled widely as he stepped in and took a seat at the back of the room. Ania and Igor whispered encouragements as they passed and sat in the front row. The shadow summoner hesitated and then sat in one of the far off corners close to the back. He removed his cloak and looked intently at the healer. Once everyone was settled, Kara took a military stance and locked both hands behind her back to hide their trembling. She counted about a dozen healers and heartrenders. Luka was the only materialki. Now that they all sat and faced her, she felt strangely calm. Not being able to turn back made the fear less profound. There was no way but forward.

" Thank you for coming. I would like to address the elephant in the room. Yes, the king has imposed these classes upon us. I had no intention of becoming your teacher and you have better things to do than to learn from an Otkazat'sya". Kara looked at Ania who looked baffled. What was her angle? Kara's eyes sparkled, " Another truth that you should know is that several weeks ago I met, in the worst medical circumstances, a heart-render who took a chance with me. We saved a prince. Later, a Grisha healer took a chance with me and we managed to help a cripple walk again". Kara looked at Alexhander who nodded in encouragement, " I ask that you all take a chance with me because we might just be able to revolutionize healing together. Mind you, there is no obligation for you to be here. If you truly believe that your time here is ill-spent, you may leave my class. However, do know that if you do, you will not be allowed back. I will not tolerate less than motivated individuals. What I will ask of you will be straining, cumbersome and demanding at times. Any disrespect towards me or any of the patients we will treat together will be answered with an exclusion from these classes. Have I made myself clear?".

The room was silent. Ania and Igor were smiling proudly. Luka's eyes were sparkling and he was already holding his quill over a blank sheet of parchment. Kara pushed her sleeves up to her elbows, " Good, then let us begin". She walked to the blackboard she had been able to salvage from an old classroom. The chalk was old and the blackboard cracked but it would have to do. She began to write a few quick notes. " My curriculum will be divided into different themes every week. Some classes will be adapted for heart-renders or healers only. Others will require for all of you to be present. Your agenda's will be provided to you at the end of this class. Your week will be composed of both theory and practice. Theory will happen here. practice will be done in the bowels of Os Alta down in the lower city". Some of the students murmured between themselves at that and Kara turned around. " Is there a question?". A young healer in the back stood up uncertain, " Uchitelnitsa (Teacher), perhaps I have not understood. You do not mean for us to go into the city with the townspeople?". Kara raised an eyebrow, " Yes I do. why is that a concern?". The students seemed tense and the young man standing was encouraged to speak, " Lady, they despise us! We are only accepted from afar as soldiers. They would never accept for us to approach them, let alone heal them".

Kara saw fear and disbelief in their eyes and she was surprised. She had expected rebellion and opposition but not worry. She realized none had made a move to step out and indeed some looked willing to stay. She realized if she could reassure them, she might have a chance of being able to teach a full class after all. Alexhander looked amused and quietly challenged her to reply. She stepped closer to the young man standing, " What is your name soldier?". The young healer stood straighter, " Anatol, Uchitelnitsa". She nodded, " thank you Anatol for voicing your worry. Please know that I will never reprimand a student for being honest." Anatol seemed surprised as a few others. None of their masters had ever assumed that students had a voice. They were to listen and learn by observation and training. This healer seemed to take a kinder approach. Kara stepped back to see all her students, " I understand your concern. I have thought greatly on the matter and I've inspected the streets of this city. It has come to my attention, that some of the townsfolk are in terrible shape. No money to heal terribly crippling ailments. No jobs to be able to earn money due to their disabilities. Therefore, I have asked a few friends to spread the word. Those who have nothing to lose and are willing to come to us, will be healed free of charge". One of the heart-renders scoffed, " You would have us heal thieves and beggars off the streets?!". Kara answered quickly, " And why not? Are we to judge of what made them come to be in their situation? No, we are here to heal. And if you are as good as I believe you are, then these first patients will come to whisper your names. These whispered will grow to become murmurs throughout the city. And with time...perhaps Grisha will no longer be feared but cherished and loved".

A shiver seemed to run down the spine of a few students. The hair on Alexhander's neck stood on end. Their greatest wish was to be accepted. To finally be able to be anywhere without looking over their shoulder. Was Kara truly able to bridge the gap and help them be seen for their potential? Kara saw a few of the students sit straighter. The young man standing sat down and took a quill. A few grumbled or rolled their eyes but none LEFT. " Chapter 1: human anatomy. You all rely too much on how Small Science feels between your fingers and not enough on how to apply it and where. If you know how tissues, muscles, bones and organs communicate with each other and function, then your Small Science will do wonders even in the more complicated cases". The class went on for two hours and the students realized that they would have much to do. Very few had studied regular science and most of the notions were new so that Kara had to slow down. By the end of the two hours, Kara assigned for them to learn a few diagrams and grafts. She wiped her sweating brow, " In two days, I want a group of four to join me at the front of the palace after lunch. I have rented a discreet office behind the herbologist's shop. We will greet and heal as many as we can and we will return to the palace before nightfall. I understand there is a curfew that we need to respect. If you have any questions until then, you know where to find me. You are dismissed".