Title: Reborn as the Villainess

Summary: Was it too much to ask to be reborn as the brother instead?

I stared at my mirror in horror. The reflection of a five year old girl greeted me. Being reborn as the wrong gender wasn't even what bothered me the most. I could accept that.

No. The most horrifying aspect in all this was that I recognized the child. She may have been much younger than what my memories showed, but her features were still far too distinct for me not to immediately know her identity. Vivid red eyes and luscious golden hair with skin a beautiful white tone.

I was reborn as Angelica Rapha Redgrave, the villainess of the stupid game that killed me.

I was going to be NTR'd (acceptable) and then ugly bastard'd (unacceptable). In the unlikely event that the protagonist failed to get some royal dick, I would either die from Fanoss's invasion or get dicked by the prince. As a straight guy trapped in the villainess's body, being Julius's breeding sow was at the bottom of my preferences. I would rather be eaten by a monster.

There had to be a way out of this.

"Father, I don't want to marry Julius," I said as I stood resolutely before Father.

He quirked his eye and asked, "Where is this coming from, Angie?"

"I'm a lesbian."

"You're seven, Angie. I sincerely doubt you know what you want."

"At the very least, not Julius."

"Julius is that much of a brat?"

"Unbelievably so, but my interests in woman was in no way due to his attitude."

"You need only pop out an heir and a spare with Julius. Feel free to fondle any woman discreetly in the meantime. Kindly do not lay with any women until you've become a woman yourself," the man said as he returned to filling out his forms.

What?

"Cordelia, I order you to hand me those scissors!"

"No! I refuse to let you cut your beautiful hair!"

"It makes me look girly!"

"A very beautiful girl! Why do you insist on trying get rid of your charm?!"

"I don't like being girly!"

"You cut your hair?" Julius asked with wide eyes the next time I saw him.

"It was getting in the way."

"... It looks nice," he mumbled.

Shit. I know that look. He was developing a crush.

"I didn't do it for you," I scowled.

"Doesn't change the fact that it looks nice."

Shit... did my bad attitude actually make him more interested? Now that I think about it, wasn't Julius's main problem about not being able to express his real interests and fearing that Angelica was only interested in the throne? Me not exhibiting typical noble traits and not trying to earn his favor...

Goddamnit!

"Father, I'm going on an adventure, and you can't stop me," I declared.

After having learned that I could not persuade anyone to break the engagement either because the adults were too accepting of my preference and pushing for my infidelity or because any effort to piss off the prince would only convince him that I was his dream girl, I decided my only recourse was to earn accolades and make myself more valuable as an agent instead of being the queen.

Father looked at me with a glint in his eyes.

"Angie, you're eleven. Even ignoring how irresponsible it would be to risk the future queen, it's not exactly legal to register you as an adventurer. Regardless of how much our Kingdom praises adventurers, we do frown on child endangerment."

"But you see, Father, I am an adult. I had my period."

"... Was that what all the screaming about this morning?"

"You would be screaming too if you woke up in a puddle of your own blood and severe pain in your abdomen! I thought some assassin snuck in and made our family name literal for me!"

He chuckled.

"What?" I asked irritably.

"While I may not have woken up in a puddle of my blood, I did wake up in a puddle of your mother's. Let me tell you, much screaming was involved on my part the first time that happened."

"Ew."

"Exactly."

"Anyways, back to the original topic. Can I go?"

Father took on a wistful look as he must be remembering Mother. After a few minutes of silence, he finally said, "Wait one more year and bring the Seberg heir with you. I'll fund it if you follow those two conditions. I'd be much more comfortable if I knew you had some dedicated training before you go and if you had someone with you."

"Pretty sexist to think I need a man on the trip. Also, aren't you worried that people with gossip about me being alone with a man who is not my fiancé?" I said quickly since I did not want to deal with any of the romance options.

"Nothing to do with your sex, Angie. I just want to make sure you have someone minimally capable to watch your back. As for gossip, everyone knows the Seberg heir is friends with His Highness and is engaged."

Oof. Talk about being stuck between a rock and hard place. I could accept Father's condition and be fully funded, but then I would have to deal with Greg. Or I could do this with zero support. It was doable, but this game had been cruelly unfair according to my memories.

"Fine. I'll bring the brat along."

"He's your age."

"Only physically. Mentally is questionable."

"Fair enough."

"Luxion, zap Greg. He's staring at me again."

"With pleasure, Master," Luxion said as a taser gun emerged from the little orb.

Little pervert copped a feel after I landed on top of him when our ship got blown up trying to get to the cash shop. Ever since then, he's been mooning my figure. I can't believe I became his fap material and/or boyhood crush.

Goddamnit! My expedition was seen as proof of my capabilities for the throne.

Adventuring had nothing to do with running the Kingdom. I even slacked on my studies by taking so much time running wild in the unexplored areas.

I don't care that the Kingdom was founded by adventurers. It was just stupid to hand the reins to someone not trained in running the Kingdom.

Okay, I needed to publicly show I was too boorish for the throne. It couldn't be anything too scandalous since my actions still reflected on my family. As much as I wanted out, I didn't want to do it at the expense of my family. I was actually fond of Gilbert, and Dad was too doting not to love.

Being from a more civilized age, I had no idea how to ruin my image safely. The only things that came to mind that were unsuitable for nobles was what I could gather from the Julius route. As such, I did the exact thing Julius was too afraid to do.

I was going to gorge myself on street food.

"Angie, please take my son along with you the next time you decide to go to town. Maybe he'll stop trying to sneak out of the palace when he realizes no one cares if he eats food from the vendors. Honestly, why does he not just ask for one of our knights to just escort him?"

"... Yes, Mylene," I said with a sigh in my maid outfit.

I was not going to go against the Queen who was partly responsible for getting Angelica hitched with an ugly bastard. I very much did not want that fate.

"You're such a good daughter," Mylene said as she stroked my hair.

"I wish to become a nun for the Temple. I'm willing to take an oath of chastity right here and now," I said aggressively to the receptionist.

"Oath of chastity? Lady Redgrave, you clearly don't know the first thing about the Temple."

"Oh? I'm willing to learn."

"Not if you are as much as a prude as you are indicating."

"Huh?"

"The Saintess's following revolves around sex. We have daily orgies as part of our faith."

"Wait! What?! I thought the Saintess's religion was about love!"

"Love with our loins. For the Saintess's sake, the original Saintess was believed to run off to become a sex slave and plowed her way throughout the Kingdom. She's the reason why so many random girls in the countryside are capable of some measure of light magic."

"But what about her replacements?!"

"Saintess Mary got herself involved in daily orgies with the five founding families and birthed their heirs."

"..."

Another nun came by to talk to the receptionist.

"I think you broke her."

"I didn't even get to the part about how we were behind the practice of owning personal servants."

"Oh my, such a prude to be astounded by so little. Is she a heretic?"

"She seems to believe chastity is a virtue. Of course she is."

"Are you sure? She is a noble. She might have been forced to repress her desires so that she be clean, faithful, and unable to sire bastards. You know how nobles are."

"... You think we should pull out the riding crop and candles? Having a devout as the Queen would do wonders for the higher nobles."

I ran away as quickly as I could.

AN:

1) Just another random thought that didn't really go anywhere.

2) This is a weird mashup between Was My Fiancée Always This Cute? (12), Gender Dysphoria (19), and My Villainess Little Sister Is Too Cute (22).

3) Obviously more crack fic than a serious attempt, but I could reasonably see a comedy in which Leon's attempts to escape the engagement just convince the five that Leon is the perfect girl since she's not like the other girls. Also clearly, her dismissive behavior is just her tsundere way of showing her affection, and she's just embarrassed of showing her affection's. It must be that so no one could ever not want them deep down.

4) Honestly, with how the canon events go, I could actually believe the religion was a sex cult.

5) If this line of thought were to be continued, Alzer has a tentacle tree cult. Take that as you will.

Review Response:

kellar007: I mean, I didn't touch Alzer yet.

babaga he who laughs at anime: Ah yes, the forbidden season.

daimahou: If I were to continue the Yugioh crossover, the relics are Millenium items. Redgrave wields Slifer, Lucas Ra with Arcana Knights, the Fanoss sisters wield the Sacred Beasts.

Brandon Storm: Remember these boys are still in the first year and use basic cards. Also technically, Chris already use Masaki the Legendary Swordsman since it's part of Flame Swordsman's fusion materials. As for Brad, he's an effeminate flirt whose main potential is in magic. Magical girls seems to fit him well. Also I'm pretty sure Legendary Magician is an XYZ monster, which I said was not a legal mechanic for the fic.