Episodes 4x03-4x04

"Acceptance"

It took Emma a long time to fall asleep after her conversation with Hook. Her emotions were all mixed up: she wanted to remain angry with him, because that was the simplest thing; but she was really more sad and frustrated; yet he had made her hopeful, and that kiss had given her more encouragement than she expected.

Their confrontation had brought up memories that Emma had not thought about for some time. Between her memory loss on the one hand and successive crises on the other, she had not let herself think about Graham much since he died. She had kept his shoelace and worn it on her wrist as a reminder of him, but she had not allowed herself to dwell on thoughts of him.

The night of Graham's death and the days that followed had been one of the worst periods of Emma's life. Mary Margaret had kept her sane, holding her when she cried, even crying with her that first night. Since Graham had no family and no close friends, the task of arranging his funeral and settling his affairs had fallen on Emma, his deputy and the last person who saw him alive.

The fact that he had chosen her had been one of her motivations to run for the position of sheriff. Continuing that work felt like a way to honor him. Though she had not been able to help him find the truth and get a happy ending, she was able to help others do so.

She did not exactly miss Graham—she had not known him long enough to get used to him being a part of her life—but she had grieved him, and wished that she could have gotten to know him better and longer. She never got to meet the real, un-cursed version of him; the closest she could get was reading his story in Henry's book, and that only made her sad all over again.

She had relived their last few conversations many times, partly to document his death and partly because of her own guilt and grief.

"Not feeling anything's an attractive option when what you feel sucks."

She did not want to feel the kind of pain she had felt when Graham died, or when Neal died, ever again. But she did not want to be numb, to feel nothing, the way Graham had for who-knew-how-long.

She had, by now, accepted the fact that she had feelings for Hook. But it was one thing to acknowledge them, and another thing to decide to act on them, to intentionally commit a share of her time and attention to him, opening her heart even wider than it already was.

He had teased her about going on a date. She did not even know where he had learned about such a modern concept—she was pretty sure it was not in any of the books he had been reading about modern technology. She could have reminded him of the ball they attended, but that had been more of an espionage mission. At any rate, he seemed to expect dating as the natural next step of their relationship, as if any stage of their relationship had ever been remotely normal.

Her own dating history was messy, consisting mainly of one-night stands and traps set for perps who fled bail. Neal and Walsh were the only people she had had steady, exclusive relationships with, and both had ended in betrayal.

She had never dated someone who had already known her for some time, who had been by her side through so many ups and downs as Hook. For them, going out would not be so much about getting to know each other as about seeing whether they enjoyed spending time together, and whether they could make this kind of relationship work.

She supposed she could picture it, now that Hook had been in Storybrooke for some time. She was used to seeing him at Granny's and around town. They had shared food and conversations, usually in a casual, fleeting setting. But it might be nice to do that more intentionally, without any dangers to distract them.

Before she did anything with Hook, she was going to have to tell Henry what was going on—or might go on—between them. He had not come out and asked about it directly, and Emma was not sure whether it was because he did not notice the way Hook was drawn to her, or he just accepted it.

Lately, Henry had been spending the nights at Regina's house, to keep her company and leave room for Elsa in the loft. But he was supposed to visit Emma during the day, so she to talk to him when he arrived at the apartment.

When she got up in the morning, she found David cooking breakfast and Mary Margaret nursing the baby. It was a cute, domestic family scene. The only person who seemed out of place was Elsa, who sat awkwardly on a chair at the bar counter. Although they had offered her some changes of clothes, she preferred her own spangly blue dress.

Mary Margaret noticed that Emma seemed lost in thought as she ate her breakfast. Emma waved off her concern, saying, "I'll tell you after Henry gets here."

Intuition seemed to flash in her mother's eyes. "Is it about Hook? Your father said he had a close call yesterday."

Emma winced. "That much is true." She picked her fork at her eggs, avoiding both of her parents' gazes.

When Henry arrived, Emma suggested that Regina take Elsa to do some research. "I need to talk to Henry and my parents about something," Emma explained. As much as she liked Elsa, she needed to have this conversation with her family. Regina was less than thrilled, and muttered something about "babysitting the ice-maker," but she agreed to escort her to the library.

Once Regina and Elsa had left, Emma turned to Henry and put her arm over his shoulders. "Can we talk?"

He blinked at her, a little surprised, a little concerned. "Sure. What's going on?"

"Nothing bad," Emma said quickly. "It's … actually, potentially could be good. I'm just not sure how you'll feel about it."

"Ohhhkay." Henry sat on the couch, dropping his backpack on the floor. Emma sat down heavily next to him.

"Do you want us to give you some privacy?" Mary Margaret asked.

"No, that's okay," Emma said. With that, David continued to clean up the kitchen area, and Mary Margaret sat down in the armchair with Neal in her lap.

For a moment Emma fiddled with the shoelace on her wrist, unsure how to start. Henry observed her and remarked, "You look the way you did when you needed to talk about Walsh."

Emma was a little startled. After his memories were restored, she had told him about how her supposed boyfriend turned out to be a flying monkey, but they had not talked about him since. She grimaced. "I guess that's close enough."

She pushed her hair back behind her ear. "You and Killian got to know each other a little better lately, even though you didn't know who he was," Emma began.

"Yeah." Henry tilted his head. "Is he still going by Killian, or should I call him Hook now?"

"I don't think it matters much to him," Emma said. "The thing is … you didn't see him much before we came back here, but he and I spent some time together. First in the Enchanted Forest, and then in Neverland looking for you. Both times, I thought things were done and over with your dad. And, well … Killian made it pretty clear that he liked me. But since he was working for Cora, and trying to kill Gold, I treated him like an enemy. And even when we started working together, I didn't want to get close to him."

"I'm getting the feeling that that's changing," Henry said.

Emma smiled briefly, sheepishly. "I didn't think it would," she said. "I kept banking on the idea of going back to New York. But Killian kept trying to get me to see that we belong here. And then we had our whole time-travel adventure. And then … I found out how he was able to find us in New York. He traded his ship for a magic bean, so we could find our way home."

Henry's eyes widened, and even David and Mary Margaret looked astonished. "He gave up his ship for us?" David repeated.

"He must really like you," Henry concluded.

Emma smiled again, this time with affection and wonder. "He did everything he possibly could to help us find each other. He's really changed."

"Wow," Mary Margaret said softly.

"So, you guys are together now?" Henry asked. Emma started to protest, but he went on, "I thought you might be, after you almost froze to death. He carried you and kept holding your hand."

Emma blushed a little. "I guess we've been heading that way. I just … I haven't been sure if I'm ready for that, after how it's gone with other guys. I don't mean just breaking up. Neal, Walsh, Graham … they're all dead."

A moment of somber silence passed; then David interrupted in confusion. "Wait … Graham? The old sheriff? You were … with him?"

"Just barely," Emma muttered. "We kissed, like, twice. And then he died in my arms."

Henry looked over at his grandparents and explained, "Regina killed him when he started to remember his old life."

"What?" David exclaimed.

"Oh my God." Mary Margaret was shaken. Then she realized something with a jolt. "Wait a minute—Graham—did we know him in our world?"

Henry looked at her in surprise. "Of course. He was the huntsman Regina sent to kill you. When he let you go, she took his heart so she could control him."

Mary Margaret gaped, equal parts grateful and horrified.

"The huntsman," David murmured in amazement. "I met him once, over there." Looking at his wife he explained, "He helped me escape Regina's castle so I could wake you up from the sleeping curse."

Now it was Emma's turn to be surprised. "That's—amazing," she managed to say, shaking her head a little. "Anyway, my point is, things don't seem to work out well for the guys I date. And Hook wants us to try dating, but … I don't want to get close to him only to lose him."

"Oh, Emma." Mary Margaret looked at her with pity. "If you're going to live your life that way, with your heart closed off … you might as well ask Regina to take your heart out of you. That's no way to live."

"I know," Emma said gently. "Hook told me I shouldn't worry, because he's good at surviving. And it's true—he's at least a couple centuries old."

"So, what are you going to do?" Henry asked.

"She doesn't need to do anything right now," David intervened. "It sounds like she has a lot to think about."

"Well, I'm thinking about asking him out," Emma informed them.

David's jaw almost dropped, while Mary Margaret gasped in delight. Henry's eyes lit up with excitement and incredulity. "You want to go out with Captain Hook?"

"Well, as he pointed out, we've never actually sat down and had a nice meal," Emma said. "The closest thing was sharing coconuts and rum in Neverland."

"I feel like I could use some right now," David muttered.

"Emma, I think that's wonderful!" Mary Margaret said, practically beaming.

"So you think I should do it?" Emma clarified.

"I think after everything you've done for this town, and everything you've been through, you owe it to yourself to do something that makes you happy."

Emma smiled gratefully, but then she glanced at David. "Dad?"

He crossed his arms and sighed. "I just … I don't know that you two have much in common."

Emma blinked and frowned. "Uh, well … we both grew up without our parents; we've both been thieves; we both lost our first love. He knows the kinds of things I've been through. And lately he's been through some of them with me. He's crossed worlds, and time, to help me."

David turned his head sharply as she said those last words. "It can't be … Henry, where's your storybook?"

"Right here." Henry opened his backpack and held the book out, looking up curiously. "Why?"

David took the book and rifled quickly through the pages. When he found what he was looking for, he stopped and shook his head. "That son of a …"

"David?" Mary Margaret shot him a perplexed look.

"I believe I'm having the experience of eating my words."

"What words?" Emma demanded.

He sighed and showed them the pages. It was from the section about Emma and Hook, under the names Leia and Charles, helping Charming and Snow White. "I didn't know it was him at the time, but when I met Hook in disguise … I kind of encouraged him about Emma."

"What?" Emma was confused.

"When?" Mary Margaret was curious.

"When we were getting ready to rescue Emma—or Leia, as she was calling herself," David explained reluctantly. "He said he would cross worlds for her, but he wasn't sure if her parents approved of him. Not knowing all the details, it seemed to me that he was going to such lengths to help her … her parents would be fools not to accept him."

Mary Margaret smiled widely, and cast a glance at Emma, who looked stunned.

"Wow," Emma managed. "I, um, wasn't really asking for your approval. But I'm sure he appreciated hearing that." She turned to Henry. "But you're the person whose opinion I really want." She gave him a searching look. "Would you be okay with me and Killian trying this? Especially … so soon after losing your dad?"

Henry chewed the inside of his cheek, thinking it over. "I … don't really know," he admitted. "When we found my dad, I hoped you'd get back together with him. And even though he's gone … now that I remember him … you being with anyone else feels weird."

Emma nodded, understanding. "I get that. No one can replace your dad … to either of us."

"But I do like Hook," Henry added. "And he was friends with my dad. So that's how I've been thinking of him. As a friend of ours."

"Oh …" Emma reached out and smoothed Henry's hair back. "I'm sure he would still be that, even if he and I don't date. He and your dad wanted the same thing: for you and me to be happy."

Now Henry looked intently at her. "Does he make you happy?"

It was a valid question. Most of the time Emma and Hook had spent together was in moments of crisis, when there was too much going on to simply enjoy being together. Even then, though, she had been grateful to have him with her, accompanying and supporting her.

But … there had also been moments when she had genuinely enjoyed his presence. Teaching her to waltz at her first ball. Kissing her under the stars. Keeping her warm after she almost froze to death.

Emma was blushing as she smiled. "Yeah, he does."

"Then … I think you should go for it," Henry decided with a confident nod.

That answer brought Emma more relief than she had expected. "Thanks, kid." She leaned over and gave him a hug. "You're the best." They held each other for a long moment before letting go.

"Okay then." Emma stood up, wiping her hands on her pants. "I guess I should ask Killian in person—he doesn't really like his phone."

Henry jumped to his feet as well. "Want me to go with you? Not to talk to him, just for the ride."

"Um … yeah. Sure."

As she gathered her keys, Henry turned to his grandparents and promised, "I'll make sure she doesn't chicken out."

After Henry walked away, David turned to his wife, folding his arms and leaning back against the counter with a resigned air. "What kind of parents will we be if we let our daughter date a pirate?"

Mary Margaret smiled, raising her brow at him. "Maybe like the kind that would let their son marry a bandit," she suggested.

They looked at each other, and both failed to contain their laughter.

"What's so funny?" Emma asked, glancing at them as she put on her jacket.

"Nothing!" Mary Margaret waved and called out, "Good luck, sweetie!"

Emma smirked and rolled her eyes as she left.

She supposed if she was going to try the whole process of dating while still living with her parents, she was going to have to put up with having an audience. But, she appreciated her family's support. No matter how things turned out with Hook, at least she had them.

Author's Notes

Although never stated in the show, Jennifer Morrison has confirmed that Emma wears Graham's shoelace on her wrist after his death.

The show does not really explain what causes Emma to reverse direction and jump into dating Hook. While rewatching Episode 1x07, I realized that Graham might have been an influence on her.

How cute is it that Henry is canonically Emma's wingman when she asks Hook out?! And I'm pretty sure she didn't pack that pink dress when she left New York, so I'm guessing she went shopping after asking Hook out, and Henry may have helped her pick out her dress, drawing inspiration from old movies like Dirty Dancing!