Friday

"...You want to watch?"

"Yeah!"

"Uhh, alright. I'm not going to say no, but I am going to ask why?"

"Because you keep doing crazy shit and I wanna laugh at it."

"...I feel like I should be offended, but you did just give me a good idea."

"Will it get me killed?"

"There's a decent chance it will."

"Fuck yeah, let's hear it!"

The birds were shining, the sun was chirping, and Twice was dangling halfway off a building with a gun practically drilling into his forehead.

It was the building V had indicated, Twice had checked four separate times before starting his ascent. He'd then been able to check two more times, whenever his window washing rig had been hit with a breeze hard enough to nudge him back underneath the sign.

Overhaul International. That name felt familiar… but that might have just been because of the reporters who had been swarming around at the base of it. 'Brand new building' this and 'never heard of this company before' that. Some people obviously just had way too much time on their hands.

It had taken him an hour to scale the side of the building. Washing the windows on the way up had been a chore, given his new uniform wasn't quite large enough to fit around his frame to not make his villain costume chafe, but he wasn't the kind of person to leave a job half finished.

The real window washer may have been lying unconscious in a dumpster, but he'd still be employed once he inevitably found his way out.

With the windows clean and the journalists below having gotten his good side, though sadly without the mask ("That will draw attention, Twice."), the top of the building was in view. There was little effort in towing the washing rig around the side of the building, where nobody on the street would be able to see him grabbing the lip of the roof and pulling himself over. A difficult task with soap still on his gloves, made even more difficult by the weapon that poked him in the forehead as soon as he cleared the edge.

"...Ya know, this is the third time I've had a gun shoved in my face after climbing a building. Do we know each other?"

It was hard for him to tell, honestly. He'd recognise the stench of danger anywhere, he'd practically lived in it for half his life. Differentiating where it could have come from, though? His memories from beyond a year ago being workable was a bigger stretch than the uniform he was wearing.

The barrel that had almost been inserted up his nose just so happened to be attached to a lady he'd never seen before. Purple eyes narrowed at him dangerously, sweeping across his face and chest critically. She probably could have examined the rest of his body, had he been given the chance to get it within view.

Flirt with her!

Hush. Later.

"He said you'd take the stairs."

The gun barrel lowered slightly. Taking that as his cue, Twice pulled himself the rest of the way onto the roof, the graceful movement transforming halfway into a flop that ended with him reclining against the concrete, his arms behind his head.

"How was I supposed to do that?"

Even if she hadn't been poised to take one of his eyes out, her arm still tracked his movements perfectly.

She's doing that on purpose.

Looks like it.

You should try to scare her! See what happens!

…We'll save it for later.

"...He didn't tell you he owns the building?"

If he owns it, does that mean you're allowed to jump off it?

"Oh, that's why the name felt familiar!"

The barrel finally lowered. With a click of her tongue, the woman turned away from him, setting her rifled arm against the lip of the roof and only leaning away a little bit when he crouched down, trying to poke his way into getting a peek through the scope. Her aim was across the city, towards the largest building he could see in the skyline.

He had just enough time to glimpse the imposing form of his buddy standing in the top office, probably well into the meeting he'd had planned, before he was pushed aside with a palm that smacked into his face hard enough to send stars blinking across his vision. Through the fingers splayed across his eyes and from this distance, all he could make out on the building was the large, red D that was printed across the top.

"I'm trying to focus." The hand receded before the woman could shove him entirely off the building. Twice shook his head, clearing the cobwebs from his mind (damn, she hits hard, I like that!), his attention drawn back to her now that the building could no longer offer him anything.

The multicoloured, though predominantly purple hair was first. Somewhat mangled and unkempt, it was still wavy and looked thick. He was tempted to touch it, run a hand through and figure out for himself if it was as soft as it appeared, but not even the voices in his head could convince him that she wouldn't immediately snap and end his life if he tried.

The expression on her face was blank, but months of Mineta had taught him that even if the muscles were slackened, there wasn't much you could do about the eyes. They almost matched her hair in shade, burning with something he couldn't figure out. An intensity that he both could and couldn't understand.

She kinda reminds me of a female version of V.

I wonder… should I ask about that?

You should probably ask about anything instead of staring at her like a creep.

Crap.

"...So what's he doing in there?"

For a long few seconds, she ignored him. He watched in silent fascination as the tendons in her neck tensed, her lips peeling back just enough for him to get a glimpse of clenched teeth. He smiled as innocently as possible when he caught the glance she sent him from the corner of her eye, and after that moment she seemed to deflate slightly, fixing her gaze back out across the city.

"Testing me." The words were barely audible, hushed even before they had to fight their way through her clamped jaw.

"Ha, yeah, that sounds like V." Twice nodded sagely, offering her a pat on the shoulder and, when her head whipped around to stare at him with wide eyes, an enthusiastic thumbs up. "You seem like the type to study, so you'll probably be fine!"

Bro, you are so good at this!

Her lips moved silently for a moment, before she shook her head and turned away, shrugging his hand off her shoulder in the process. She didn't seem to notice the bubbles of soap that he'd left behind.

Satisfied, Twice raised that hand to block out the sun, the other fishing around in his pocket for the earpiece that he'd been given the night before.

His empty pocket, because he was still wearing the window washer's outfit.

Damn it. Twice clambered to his feet, doing his best to shrug out of the constricting uniform. Somehow it felt like there was more pressure pressing down on his shoulders than that one time Eri had asked him to check under her bed for monsters. The responsibilities of an uncle were heavy, but her bed frame was heavier.

Screw it. The earpiece was in his pants pocket. The shirt could stay, for now.

"Do me a favour, don't turn around."

Naturally, as Twice himself probably would have done if he was told to ignore something, the woman turned to face him immediately.

"W-" The sound of his zipper was somehow louder than her voice. The word died in throat as they stared at each other, the faint buzzing of her own earpiece the only noise to break the overwhelming silence.

For the first time, Twice watched as the stoic and generally furious expression abandoned her face. Her eyes slipped away from his face, taking the scenic route down his body before settling on the hand that was still holding his zipper. It took all of a second before her gaze had darted back up, wide and confused and… hold on a second…

Ooh, she's turning red!

Twice tilted his head to the side slightly, the voices quieting down as the woman's tongue darted out to wet her lips. That bit of contact seemed to shake her out of whatever she'd been thinking, because the tip of her tongue was still poking out of her lips when she snapped her mouth shut.

"Ah, fuck!" Her entire face twitched violently. Before Twice could do anything more than slowly raise his hands, she'd spun back around, burying herself back into her scope far enough that the only visible point behind her curtain of hair was the tips of her crimson ears. "What the fuck are you doing!?"

"Uhh…" Slowly, Twice lowered his hands, slowly peeling his way out of the pants. The woman's face remained turned away from him, her head tilting resolutely in perfect tune with any of his footsteps. Even while attempting to block him out entirely, she still retained a perfect grasp on where exactly he was.

Lighten your footsteps, let's see what happens!

Oh no, I'm not falling for that one again.

With the restricting outer layer of pants discarded, the ear piece was easy enough to find. It took three attempts to get a grip that wouldn't allow it to escape, an exhausting period of silence that had him feeling restless.

"...How's your tongue?" He didn't even last until he had the earpiece in. Mineta's voice was coming through, an incomprehensible mumble that he wouldn't be able to understand until he actually put it in, but he still hesitated nonetheless.

Her mouth was set in a low line. He only managed to see it because she spat off to the side, her scowl deepening for a moment.

The earpiece was silent as he inserted it. Probably a tense moment in the meeting, not that he was all too concerned about it. If there was anything in that building that could pose a threat to V, there wasn't much most of Japan would be able to do at that point. Maybe he'd get to join the collective that did nothing about their problems other than aim All Might at it, that sounded like fun.

"It's fine." Her words were barely even a grunt by the time they managed to escape her. Hard to hear and even more difficult to believe, even if he ignored the fact that her saliva had been red.

Say it. Say it. SAY IT.

The rifle had disappeared back into her arm. She was climbing to her feet, brushing dirt and loose debris from her knees, and caught in the middle of a sigh when he decided to open his mouth.

"Want me to kiss it better?"

The sigh turned into a spluttering cough. Twice stepped to the side as scarlet droplets rained down on where he'd been standing, angelic smile in place as she hunched over, staring up at him with an expression that wavered between scandalised and outraged. There was something else in there too, a glint in her piercing stare that faded away in the same moment that he'd seen it.

Low laughter coming through the earpiece distracted him before he could discuss what he'd just seen with himself.

"Twice, stop trying to rile her up."

"Hey, V!" Twice spun around, waving one hand frantically towards the distant building. His hand stalled a moment later, the implications of what he'd heard actually hitting him. "Wait, V? Are you already done?"

"No thanks, I'll take the stairs." The sound of a door closing and echoed footsteps followed Mineta's voice for a few seconds, before he turned his attention back to the earpiece. "I was in there for close to an hour, Twice, of course I'm done. What the hell were you doing?"

"Uhh…" The window washer's shirt felt even tighter for a moment. "Don't worry about it. What's next?"

"He wasn't listening, was he?"

"No, he was not." This time, the woman answered, doing her best to convey that she was, in fact, judging him.

Here's hoping you at least get a six, buddy.

"Hah, classic." A door banged distantly over the connection. Mineta muttered something under his breath, too low for the words to be picked up but just loud enough for them to know that he wasn't being too favourable, before raising his voice once more. "I'll spend the night elsewhere, I have a few more things I need to get done first. Nagant, take Twice back with you, and if you're going to kill him, at least wait until I'm around to reverse the damage."

"No promises."

"Good enough. Over and out."

From halfway up the building, a section of the wall peeled away. Twice watched in amusement as a mostly dark shape, save for the purple hair atop his head, leapt from the newly created opening, the earpiece picking up the heavy thud of his feet hitting the roof below where he'd jumped. The hole resealed itself a moment later, at the same time that the earpiece went silent.

You should probably leave before you get murdered.

Good point.

"Alright, let's-" Whatever Nagant had been about to say was completely forgotten as Twice sprinted past her at full speed, her eyes following his movements and her jaw slowly dropping as he cleared the lip of the building in one hop. With a wink thrown over his shoulder and a wild laugh, he front-flipped off the building, his cackle echoing out across the rooftops as he descended.

From the forearm of his costume, one of his tape measures popped out, shooting through the air with a flick of his wrist. Perfectly in accordance with how they'd been designed, the hook on the end snagged the tip of the building that had been across from them, holding firm and effortlessly dragging him through the air.

Right before he could be pulled up and out of view, something yanked on the bunched up shoulder of his stolen shirt. The added momentum sent him into a flip, though his landing on the building he'd been using for inertia was no less graceful for it.

"I thought I was supposed to be guiding you?"

He had to shake whatever had slammed into him out of his sleeve all the way from his shoulder, but once he had, he couldn't help but laugh. The small earpiece that had been tangled into the chunk of hair was still switched on, and suddenly he was well aware of who exactly he was dealing with.

We need to bake Mineta a whole damn cake for this one.

You know what, I think we do.