Watermelon Girl 1.2
In the second section of this page is where the story take major changes from my original draft.
by Chaos Orchid ← Ron Dow75
Peculiar, Serious One
The plastic-protected, silk bag the omamori charm was in had a brocade that read in kanji, "Shinken-sha no kawari". The holder looked at it again, reading it aloud again, still processing its implications, "Substitute Guardian", literally, a [Peculiar, Serious One]…
"Oh, my!"
For several long seconds the only sounds were those of the train they were in.
At last Akane's guilt compelled her to say, "Don't let the phrase bother you, Kasumi!" She was sitting on the aisle seat. But she muttered, "It should have been tsuginaru , not kawari! What was Sakura-sensei thinking! Kasumi is next after us, Meron's real parents." She had her omamori for a father to prove it. "Chichi no anzen" [Father's Safety]
Above, the pragmatist Nabiki was leaning on the backrest behind them, "Oh, just pray to your kami there, Big Sis. I'm sure it can't read. Don't let it pick up on negative thoughts."
A hesitant smile came to Kasumi's face, "You're right(!) I should be positive." And her smile became more genuine, "That is the way I always wish to view things."
"It sounds like Kasumi is returning to her usual self, eh, Tendō(?)" Genma nudged the man sitting next to him by the window.
"First there was Akane and now Kasumi is as good as a parent herself!" Soun wept. "All I have left is Nabiki!"
The two fathers were purposefully between Kasumi and those in the seats in front of theirs. "Sit down, Kunō!" Ranma told him, pulling him back down onto the window seat. "We're not gonna let you buy Kasumi's omamori! Sakura gave it to her, because the kami that goes with it was told by divining spirits it was supposed to be hers!"
"But Pigtailed Girl, who could possibly be a better shinken-sha than I?! I can provide all that our child–"
" Our child!?"
"There can be no denying that without my assistance, the Twin Loves of My Life would not be expecting!"
"THANKS!" the redhead cried and hit him once again. Didn't that idiot ever get the message!? Punting him inside a train was out of the question. And hitting him on the head hadn't jarred any common sense loose, yet, and if ever. Besides, Sakura as a nurse advised against it; because his amnesia had been caused by his hitting himself on the head, he shouldn't be hit there for at least two weeks. If ever.
Instead, the 'Pigtailed Girl' had adopted a tactic that was sure to inflict the maximum damage on Kunō: S/he hit Kendōist in his sword arm! Too much of his identity was tied up in it; without it, what was he? The opposite of what he had been like on Watermelon Island–an ineffective stalker!
"Ow,(!)" The samurai rubbed his arm. Then, through gritted teeth, he sincerely smiled at her, "A Love Tap!"
"Oh, yes, Kunō-sweetie! It's a love tap! *Giggle*" And s/he hit his arm again! In the same place. "Give me an excuse and I'll show you Chestnuts-Roasting!"
"Chestnuts roasting? It sounds romantic."
"Doesn't it(?)" s/he gave him a wicked grin as s/he– "Hey! Keep your hands off my abs!"
And s/he punched him in his gut! "Ow!"
When he had his breath back, he explained, "Hh I, I hh but only wished to feel the baby within!"
"Well, you can't! " the redhead yelled in his ear. Pow! Another blow to the arm. "There's nothing to feel!"
"Mayhap, you can inform me when there will be something to feel?"
"How should I know!? If I get my way, I ain't gonna feel nothing; I'm gonna just let it grow and ignore it!" Man! How her attitude had change now that s/he was going back to her non-vacation life!
"Then I must hire an eminent expert in maternity care to see that the baby is not ignored!"
"We got Kasumi for that!" Pow!
"The woman who has claimed my omamori is probably most proficient in all the womanly arts, I dare believe. But is she trained in the nursing arts?"
"She has been studyin' to be. And she's been gettin' all the books she needs for it…." Ranma stopped to blink. Two and two weren't adding up. Tōfū was worse than useless around Kasumi.
"Ah, she is but studying. She is not a licensed, experienced practitioner of the healing arts who specializes in maternal care!" And he placed his hand on her 'abs' again.
"Aa! You made me lose my important thought! That's it: Chestnuts-Roasting, Tenshin Amaguriken! "
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Kunō left the train at Nerima station with his sword arm hanging limp and useless.
The only one who showed any sympathy was Kasumi, "Oh, my, Kunō-sama. Are you in pain?"
"Nothing a true samurai can not endure, Honored Sister of My First Love, Akane. I am told you endeavor to be a nurse. I would have you practice on me. I do not have National Health Insurance, so I will have to pay you out of my own treasury. I am sure, though, it will help with your college fund."
Nabiki was the first to speak, "I have your phone number, Kunō. I'll call you when I can talk some sense into big sister." And she looked at the other girls, "And the others."
"Don't call us!" 'his' pigtailed girl warned.
Akane wanted to send him away with a punt. She couldn't because her own father stepped in her way, "May I remind you, young man, that Priestess Sakura-sensei herself has warned you she would place a curse on you if you ever reveal any events that occurred at the Great Watermelon Fest?"
Nabiki said with a smile, "I have her phone number, as well!"
Kunō nodded a bow. "We must protect the reputations of My Beloveds."
"And your reputation as a gentleman, stalker! " the redhead cried! "Twice! It's your fault we could have a reputation like that!"
Nabiki, "Gee, Ranma, why not yell a little louder. Maybe there are people who haven't heard this tidbit of gossip from your own lips."
Ranma panicked and looked around. This wasn't the commuter time of the bedroom community; many had already left for their hometown Obon festival; and it was still school break, vacation time. They had also lucked out because, a couple of train cars away, the station personnel were busy pushing passengers into a car; Japan trains had exacting to schedules. Being early was a point of pride.
To the Doctor
Kunō, "I have heard a reply from the Gracious Florence Nightingale."
"Thank you for the offers, Kunō-sama," Kasumi politely bowed. But rose, "But I would advise your injury receive immediate attention. Even though it is a Saturday, I believe Dr. Tōfū would still see you."
"As I recollect, the beneficent man's clinic is on the course to your estate. Would not precaution have a practicing nurse be available at least til then(?)"
Akane answered before Kasumi could even react, "Kunō! You're supposed to leave us alone alone after we get past the Fūrinkan gate!"
"Yeah! The Doc is our…." Ranma did a 180, when s/he looked in the direction of "our". "Okay, Kunō, you can go with us to the Doc's!" S/he had a big smile on her face. More revenge! Get him* knocked up, will he!
"Ranma!" Akane cried. But the Pigtailed Girl was already pulling on his remaining good arm, forcing him to follow her lead. Which he gladly did.
S/he almost had a change of heart, when he outmaneuvered her and had it seem he was escorting her. Ranma gritted her teeth and froze a slit of a grin on.
The boy's* pop was not happy with the scene. "Oh, the shame! I haven't seen anything like this since the Wishing Sword!"
"You forget Picolet Chardin," Soun said.
"And the time the idiot pretended to be poor Ryōga's fiancée!" Akane told anybody who might be listening.
"For ¥500, I can sell you a list of all of the embarrassing dates he and and she have been on," Nabiki said.
"This isn't a date!" the redhead insisted! Why did everybody have to get the wrong idea about what s/he did!? "This is –" Suddenly, s/he halted (which made Kunō stop, too) and reached out for the hand of Kasumi.
"Ranma!" the annoyed Akane cried. "We've been keeping Kunō away from Kasumi! He wants her omamori!"
"We were told omamori charm of Kasumi is linked to your and Akane's own omamori!" Soun was on the verge of crying.
But Ranma didn't listen; Kunō was pleased; and Kasumi complied.
"Nabiki(!)" Akane pleaded.
Nabiki, "You owe me." Then to, "Ranma, there's Ucchan's. An okonomiyaki would be good now, wouldn't it?"
The redhead did slow. Until s/he saw that the A-frame sign for the sidewalk and the noren flap curtains over the door were missing. "She's not open."
Kasumi, "I heard she went back to her hometown for its Obon festival."
Ranma grumbled, "It's good she can have a homecoming. Me, I have no hometown." S/he glared at her Old Man. But he was hiding behind the others.
Would her kid have one? It was a thought s/he wasn't conscious of. Yet?
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Four irregular blocks later, they came to the clinic. [Chiropractic, Acupuncture, Moxibustion] Ranma pushed Kasumi forward into entry yard, "Ladies' first!"
"Oh, my, how Western. Ladies usually follow in Asia."
"That's right!" Akane hurried forward and pulled big sister back.
"But Kunō wants Kasumi to be his nurse! Don't the nurse and the doctor have talk!"
"Da~d!" Akane pleaded.
"Uh, right.
"What? Uh…
"Oh! Second opinion! It's recommended that those with a medical condition should consult more than one practitioner!"
"That is sound advice presented by an elder gentleman! Dare I say a father-in-law figure?" Kunō said. (Soun and Akane grimaced; not Nabiki.) The tables were turned, "Ladies' first!" and he pulled the Pigtailed Girl to the lobby door.
"Don't fight it, Ranma!" Akane told her. "Dad's right! Maybe Sakura-sensei is wrong about something. Dr. Tōfū has to know more about Jūsenkyo than she does!"
"Get your exam and I'll give you one free out when I say you owe me," Nabiki said to the redhead.
"Nabiki!?" Akane wondered.
"You think I'm going to miss my chance to be a Greek chorus?"
"Kasumi!" But Ranma couldn't see her. (The two fathers were ushering her home.)
Because of the commotion, Dr. Tōfū answered the door without the doorbell being rung. "Irasshaimase, Welcome!" he, of course, genuinely smiled. "I take it you here for a medical reason?"
"No!" Ranma said, turning away.
Only to find her way blocked by Akane and Nabiki. They turned her around and pushed her forward. S/he at least was able to keep her arm away from Kunō.
"Look at him!" the pigtailed girl insisted. Him, not her! "His arm is hurt!"
"I can see that." And at a glance. But reading Akane and Nabiki, he knew, "It is your handiwork, is it not Ranma?"
"Ranma did not put this inconvenience on me!" Kunō was adamant.
Dr. Tōfū, "Kunō-dono, is it not? Reports are that, uh, the 'Pigtailed Girl' quite regularly injures you(?)"
"The reports are accurate, Tōfū-sensei. They are Love Taps. Signs of our affection."
Tōfū did not have to read the expressions of the three girls to know what they thought of that excuse. "Well, I certainly can treat you and send you on your way to faster healing.
"But I assess that Ranma needs my care as well."
"That blackguard does indeed need tending to!" Kunō automatically went for his wooden sword. His arm didn't cooperate.
"He'll always misunderstand if you use that name," Nabiki informed the doctor. "The options are the Pigtailed Girl, Tree-borne Kettle Girl, Small But Fierce, Fiery-haired Goddess…"
"None of them are here, so I'm leavin'–"
Akane wouldn't let her. "Pigheaded Girl, why are you being stubborn?! You know you have to be examined! You've let Dr. Tōfū examine you many times before!"
"But I ain't been examined the way only girls can be examined!"
The doctor understood now, "So a gynecological exam is called for?"
"And beyond," Nabiki informed him.
"Oh. I see." He fully understood now. "That is not my specialty."
Ranma, "Good! I can go now!"
Akane, "Nobody else knows more about Jūsenkyo!"
Nabiki, "Nobody but Cologne. That, 'My Vivacious Venus', is a threat."
Surrendering, Ranma dropped to the floor, sitting with her right leg going sharply right, left leg left: a position only a girl could do.
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NOTES:
Ranma had been effected by psychological escapism. Being in new places, his* emotional guard was down and s/he acted differently than s/he usually would. Now that s/he is returning to the places where his* habits were established, s/he is drawn to her old emotional ways.
The summer carnivals seen on so many animanga are usually local Oban festivals. They are from August 13 to 15. Everybody got off the train on Aug. 14, 1992, a Saturday.
According to much fanfiction, Dr. Tōfū left town sometime after the Cat's Tongue Arc (Chapters 37-47 and S02E02-06). Which I accept. But in he is back before the "Tendo Family Goes to the Amusement Park!" (S06E07). Watermelon Girl is immediately set after the events in S06E14.