A/N

I'll be honest, I don't really remember why I wrote this Fic, the only two things I know for sure was that, 1. I was drunk as hell while writing this and 2. I was replaying and finishing GTA San Andreas for probably the millionth time by now before I started writing this fic, One of the mission of the game "Don Peyote" kind of struck of to me. Particularly a line said by Maccer, one of the NPC on the mission. Something among the lines of him having a dream about wanking to some fat bird's tits before Carl woke him up...And the next thing I knew I was the midst of writing this shit...

Why I pair it with MGE? Again I don't know honestly, it probably has something to do with the fact that I was reading a MGE comic about a Kriegsman getting stranded there before deciding on whether I should write this fic or not, I Guess you can consider that as a another major inspiration...

But enough yapping, let's just get this over with shall we?

Criticisms are welcome of course, I'm always looking to improve my writing, also pardon if my English is horrendous lol, It ain't my first language, but I tried my best, I think.

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas is a property of Rockstar Games and Monster Girls Encyclopedia is a property of Kenkou Cross.

Room 234, Calígula casino and resort, Las Venturas, San Andreas 16.34 AM

The atmosphere of the room was tense. As everyone inside felt very uneasy and worried about their own safety, I mean. You would have too if you had gotten yourself stuck in the middle of what essentially is a battleground between various crime families and mafias, stretching all the way from Liberty City to Las Venturas, as well with Salvatore Leone out of all people being the one who is most likely to come and pay your sorry ass a "visit", you would've been very stressful, thinking about whatever your fate is for the next few hours, or minutes in that matter.

One particular person in the room sporting a jean jacket was a 30 something blonde haired, British male by the name of Kent Paul, better known as Paul or Pabsy or just P by his mates, "Kent" wasn't really his real first name of course, it was more like a nickname to him as he was a native of the English county with the same name, but at the same time he had grown accustomed to the nickname that it might as well be his real first name, he was also the current manager of The Gurning Chimps, some B minus British rock band who just recently lost their bassist and drummer.

He is currently sitting nervously on a couch situated on the far right of the room, with concern and feeling of dread painted all over his face

And just sitting right next to him was his long time band partner and friend. the sex obsessed Northerner and the de-facto leader of the Gurning Chimps. Maccer, compared to his friend next to him, he seems to appear more relaxed than he is, for whatever reason.

A bit too relaxed

"Fuck..." Paul thought to himself "the hell did I just got myself into? What the hell should I do now?"

Had he known that his lifelong pal Ken Rosenberg is currently on a dire and tense situation as of right now, he would've told Carl to drive them somewhere else like some cheap motel located somewhere in the city's rundown district, at least those "Hoodlums" won't bother him as long as he just minded his own business.

Or a brothel, at least that would provide him some "entertainment".

Speaking of sex and entertainment...

I could use a good wanking right now...he thought to himself, unfortunately The nearest porn shop was a few blocks away from the hotel.

But what if...

"Oi Maccer" Called Paul to his mate next to him, suddenly awakening The Northerner from his slumber.

"Huh...huh? What? Are those bloody Guidos are here?"

"No...not yet at least" Paul assured his friend, "but I do have some question for ya..."

"Questions? What kind of question? Like a somekind of a fockin quiz?"

"No, nothing like that, look just let me ask you something okay?"

Maccer just shrugged at the reply "Okay then Pabs, bite me"

"Okay...So...maccer what kind of dreams you had back then?" Paul asked.

"Is that your question mate? Fockin dreams?" Maccer replied, bewildered at the question his friend just gave him.

"Just answer the damn question!" replied Paul impatiently.

"Okay but which dreams tho? I've been dreaming like fuckin' a lot these days, yesterday I had a dream about Prince Andrew wanking some kid in a middle of a fuckin island and the other night I had a dream about two girls vomiting into each others mou-"

"No! No! Not any of those! No more! You fuckin' moron you're killin my fucking mood 'ere"

"So what then? Enlight me Pabsy."

"You know...two days ago when we're out in the dessert with the rest of the band and we got passed out after you spiked our drinks with those sodding tabs?"

Speaking of the band...he had hoped that the bassist and the drummer had made it back to civilization...

Or died of a quick, painless death instead, man those poor saps...

"Oh...you mean that time where we talked with the lizard king? With that hippie who brought those shite peyotes?"

"Yeah yeah, that one."

"Okay but, Why do you suddenly asked me man? I thought you're not interested about it when I tried tellin ya about it yesterday?"

Paul simply sighed and then took a deep breath before answering his question.

"I need something I can wank off to, with all of these stress involving that cunt Rosenberg and with Tommy telling me to let that Johnson bloke handle everything, I could really use a good wankin' material…"

"Why don't you just go to the porn shop then?"

"You fuckin out of your mind? That shop is like what? A mile from this hotel? I'm not looking forward on the possibility of turnin' my head into a blown up watermelon...yet, no thank you!"

Silence befell the two as Paul finished his reply, just as then a wide grin appeared on Maccer's face.

"Well... You're in luck then Pabsy! I still remembered most of the parts of that one dream and since you asked nicely guess I have no choice but to tell ya then!

"Good lord, I'm going to fuckin regret this..."

"Hey! Shut up man! I'm trying to remember here! You want me to tell the story or what?"

"Sure..sure let's just get this over with..."

"...Fuck me Two sides..."

Those are the first words that a certain Blonde haired Salfordian blurted out, as he began to woke up from his slumber.

The first thing the Northerner had expected upon waking up was the summer heat of the San Andreas dessert that would left a burnt mark on his skin at any moment. and the sandy, rocky texture of the lands where he was sleeping.

While His views are still blurry, his senses are still working somewhat fine, albeit a bit dull, He still felt the heat and he is fairly certain that he isn't feeling any sand in where he was lying down right now or rock for that matter, although he simply dismissed that feeling as the side effects of a hungover dulling his senses. Man he felt like a fucking raspberry right now.

Well...they all got knocked out in the middle of a desert after all. Smoking some very low quality peyotes, debating about conspiracy theories on whether JFK was assassinated or not or whether Adolf Hitler existed or not or whether Jesus was a pot smoker and was crucified because of it or not, as well as communicating with the so called "Lizard king".

All before they took on their respective drinks, knocking them off afterwards.

"Shit...guess those tabs are stronger than I first thought" He thought to himself "Pabsy's gonna be real pissed"

Honestly thought That peyote was fucking horrible. But still, he doubted that Paul would've spared him from getting his happy sacks chopped to bits.

As he regained both of his senses and eyesight back, he immediately came into a realization and a quite worrying one.

It doesn't feel like he was sleeping on top of a sand or a rock at all, it felt like...Grass?

Last time he remembered there isn't any grass on the desert! And even if there are, they felt very very dry.

He immediately got up and began looking at his surroundings, much to his shock he was not in the deserts of Bone County anymore.

Instead, he woke up in the middle of what appears seems to be a...Forrest? Strange, last time he remembered, he was in a middle of a dessert getting high with his bandmates and some random hippie who they hired as a "tour guide", As far as what the public knowledge told him there isn't any trees or vegetations on the scorching hot deserts of Bone County, let alone, a Forrest.

Unless you're talking about the Cactuses.

"How the hell...Wher-Where the hell am I?" He muttered to himself.

He began looking around for his fellow mates, And Much to his horror Paul or any of his bandmates, and even the hippie that they hired as a tour guide, were nowhere to be seen.

"Pabsy?!" he shouted, although it seems that nobody has responded to his call.

He tried again with a different name, "Truth?!" Again to no avail.

He didn't give up nonetheless and began shouting out more names, "Jamie?! Alec!?"

And still no response...

"Fuck...guess I'm alone now...and fuckin lost...and really thirsty"

Just where the hell was he then? HOW did he even get here? Was he back in Manchester again? Did that lizard king bloke send him here? Or was it that hippie using whatever hocus pocus magic he had on him?

I mean. With a beard like that, He could've been a secret wizard or something.

So many questions so little answers...

"Welp, you ain't goin to get anything by just standin around 'ere" Maccer said to himself.

Better off goin then!

...

But where?

Hmmm, well You know what Ma used to say when you're lost... always follow where the wind blows!.

...

How do you find out where the wind blows again?

...

Ah fuck it.

How long has he been walking now? Minutes? Hours? Days? Mont-

Oh wait the sun is still shinning brightly up ahead so it can't be that long.

But still for how long now? After awhile, he decided to just simply follow the direction that his morning wood was pointing against, which is...North.

After a few more minutes of walking he finally made it out of the woods, and just his luck, he appeared right in the middle of a paved dirt road.

Okay...we're getting somewhere, he thought to himself, alright you know another thing that mum always said when you were lost, always try to find a way back to civilization!

Or any form of it...

Just where the hell was he anyways? This place certainly does not look like any part of Manchester he recognises...hmmm perhaps he was in Chorlton?

After a few more tiresome minutes of walking on the trail, The Northerner suddenly felt a presence behind his back.

Someone or Something is behind him, stalking the Northerner all of this time.

He's not alone, he can feel it.

He immediately turned his back to look at whatever it was only to see...nothing.

'What the...'

From his own experiences It could only meant three things. One some nonce is probably beating his bird to one of the trees near him.

Or two, somebody is having sex behind the bushes. or...

"Oh god... don't tell me the Paparazzies are also here as well..." He muttered to himself.

"Papa what now?" a feminine voice suddenly asked from his back.

"Paparazzies...ya know? Annoying wankers that kept stalking you no matter where you are, The main reason why Princess Diana is now five feet un-aaa…" he was cut short on his words as he looked right into where the voice had came from.

Just right in front of where he was currently standing, stood a somekind of a woman...bird Hybrid?

She was looking at him curiously, he couldn't help himself on having a pretty good look on her face, short haired with black brownish hair, orange pupils, with a dark brown skin... tanned if he may assume, He began to look at the rest of her body, and oh...she got some rack there...

Honestly, he wouldn't mind hitting on her, if it wasn't for the fact that there are literally wings growing out from her back and that her legs were almost similar to the ones you would commonly see on eagles.

"Who's princess Diana?" The woman bird hybrid asked again.

"Wha..." Was the only word that came out from his agaped mouth.

"you alright there human?" Asked the hybrid again as she moved closer to him.

Too close for his comfort.

"Bahhhhh! S..stay away from me!" Maccer shouted before falling to the paved ground bellow him. "D... don't eat me! I don't have a lot of meat in my body! Go eat Paul's instead! He has more meat!" the Brit rambled as he crawled away in fear while covering his pale face.

The harpy meanwhile could only watch the strange human's behaviour with bewilderment plastered all over her face.

"What...? Who's Paul? I'm not going to eat you human! That's so...like what? Couple of centuries ago?"

"...You're not going to eat me?" Maccer stuttered, uncovering his face, while trying to find the courage to get himself standing again "What kind of a fuckin creature are you anyway?"

"Well...to answer your second question, I'm an Harpy! and for the second time, No, I'm not going to eat you that's way back in the pass, I mean like ever since the current demon lord married that hag at least..." She said as the Brit had finally found the courage to stand back to his feet.

"Hag? Harpy? What? Just where the hell am I now?!...and what kind of a creature are you?"

"What do you mean where- she cuts off as a thought crashed into her mind.

"Are you like an adventurer or something?"

"D...do I look like an adventurer to you lad?"

The harpy put that statement in a thought for a while before continuing "Fair enough, but hey you could've been an adventurer from a far away land ya know? Although To think about it again, I might be wrong. You look different than most adventurers I have encountered, your shirt….I don't think I've ever seen it anywhere...and you have a very funny accent...I don't think I've ever heard that kind of accent anywhere here…"

"The hell was that supposed to mean?" Maccer asked, taking offense at the statement regarding his accent.

"Hey! Hey! Chill I'm just telling you the way it is..." the reply prompted The Northerner to murmur something among the lines of "what's wrong with my accent?"

"But anyways enough about that, Moving on...hmmm...You're wearing a clothing that I've never seen before, and you have a very funny accent, and you don't have a mana from what it appears…"

"The hells a mana?"

"Wait you don't know about what a mana is? so that only means one thing! you're not from this world!" The Woman-Bird hybrid concluded.

"Huh?"

"You're not from this world aren't you?..."

"…Yeah? I mean do I look like I'm from around here?" Maccer replied, with irritation plastered all over his tone "Hell. For all I know I might not even in Las Venturas anymore! I could've been back in Scotland or something or I might be in a entirely different world! I don't know where I am, I don't know where my mates are and why they're not even here!"

"Well...I need to be sure...there is a possibility of you being either a Far-away adventurer or another outerworlder..."

'Wait another outerworlder?'

So does that means he's not the only outerworlder here?

"So wait, does that means..."

"Yep! you're not the first outerworlder around here! I think you're like the second... wait or maybe the third?."

Second? so who's the first one then?

Could it be Paul? Or anyone from the camp?

"So who's the first lad?"

"Pardon?"

"How does he look like? Any descriptions?"

"I don't know, he wears like, a weird helmet with a pike on top of it, he also wore a very weird looking mask, covering his face entirely...which is unfortunate, and he also carries this, weird thing that emanates flashes from it?... I don't know. I'm just describing what my friend told me."

Pike helmet? Yeah definitely not Paul or anyone Maccer knew, he thought to himself.

"Speaking of face...er...you look pretty good yourself...the harpy said awkwardly, as a shade of red began to appear on her face.

"Uhhh thanks I guess?" Maccer replied sharing the awkwardness.

"Alsopleasebemyhusband." The harpy suddenly blurted out.

"Wait wha-?"

"You hear me...BEMYHUSBAND!" the harpy screamed as she tackled the Northerner to the ground.

"HEY! What are you- hey no! Not my fuckin' pants! Stay away from- oh oh oh wait~ oh fuckin shitter you're good at this~~"\

Well that was something...Maccer thought to himself. Completely Ignoring the fact that he just had sex with what essentially is a freak of nature, it was probably the best fuck he had for a while.

It was certainly better than that one time he fucked a gypsy prostitute or a Georgian pygmy he met during that gig in Paris or when he and the other bandmates invaded an Amish community during a tour in Copenhagen looking for some wet pussy.

The two are currently lying over the top of a large flat rock. Still tired and sweating from their previous commotions that included several more rounds of "bed wrestling" in broad daylight.

"Fuckin hell...that went better than I expected..."

"Yeah...it feels so good having my first time"

"Wait hold on a second there luv, that was your first time? You're really good at this!"

"Yeah...Wait till ya see how the others would do back in my nest!" The harpy replied.

Speaking of the nest...

'Oh yeah...that, I almost forgot about why I'm looking for humans in the first place...silly me.' The harpy thought to herself, remembering why she was looking for humans on the first place.

"Speaking of sex...do you want to have more sex?" The harpy suddenly asked

Maccer quirked at the question, "I'm all ears love..."

I mean yeah sure he had next to no idea on what kind of creature she is, Endangered species or a government experiment gone horribly wrong, he couldn't care less about it at the moment, As long as there is more sex, he's down for it...

Apparently the Harpy laddie was tasked by her "upper ups" to kidnap humans who are unlucky enough to be lost on this side of the forest, depends on what kind of a person you are, You're either fucked or In for an experience of a lifetime.

Guess it's safe to say that Maccer's luck haven't disappointed him.

With all things set up, the two began to make their way towards the "nest", before halting on their tracks. as the two came into a realization of a one quiet grave of an issue...

The Harpy's "nest", was located right on the top of a mountain miles ahead from where they were currently standing.

It would probably took them days or even weeks worth of walking, not to mention all the climbing he had to do, upon reaching the mountain.

Thankfully, it seems that the Harpy has a "Solution" for the issue...

He doesn't really mind flying honestly, well if it wasn't for the fact that he was flying above 100 feet with his jacket clinging to a claw of an harpy.

He seems to be more concerned on the fact that he was able to fly with only a Harpy's claw to carry him, that and the fact that he was essentially a couple of a hundred feet from the ground.

'Eh look at the bright side. At least you'll get a lot of free sex!'

'Man just wait till I tell ma about this!"

there's only one problem though, he didn't know how to contact his ma, or his homeworld for that matter.

To think about it again, he didn't know how long he was going to be in this place, it could've been for the few next minute, for the next hour, for the next day, for the next week, for the next month and so forth.

For all he know he could've been here forever, it was both comforting and chilling to think about the fact that there are a tons of horny chicks (even if they don't really look 'human' in most cases) that he could fuck anyday and the fact that he may or may not would ever be able to see Paul, his mates back in England, Ma and Pa ever again...

...

Eh, he could've just send them a post card, this world has magic right? the harpy mentioned something about a sorcerer or something, He sure he could ask that lad for some favor.

"Thinking about something human?' the harpy asked, while panting from carrying a full grown man with her.

"Nothing! Well Nothing too important really"

"Okay...Brace yourself"

"Brace for wha- AAAAAHHH", Screamed Maccer as the Harpy went on full overdrive, flying almost as fast as an eagle.

He had prayed to whatever higher being up there that this would be over soon.

It would took some quiet of a time unfortunately.

It took him 2 miserable hour of him flying while clinging on by that Harpy's claw, as well as trying his best not to wet his pants every time he felt like that he was about to fall to his death.

Fortunately, before he could slip himself off from the Harpy's claw and met his painful demise, the two had made it (mostly) unscathed to the Harpy's nest, located just on the top of a peak, it kind of reminds him of the pictures of Mount Chilliad he would usually see on travelling ads.

And it also had more of those weird "birdie ladies" with varying size of TITS! The floppy sausage, the bee sting, empty saddle bags and and..

Man those bouncy things, maybe he should get a breast implant when he returned to his world, Just like that Thai message boy he met years ago in a gig at Manila, He got some nice pair of man juggies, too bad he was banned from the Spa Bar the lady boy was working on for the rest of his life...

The two then made their way towards what appears to be a council meeting of harpies and it wouldn't be long until one of the "elders" began to address the Northerner, it surprises him that it wasn't a bunch of "Cuckoo Cuckoo" and instead it was a fully intelligible English.

Wait does this place even spoke English on the first place? I mean it certainly doesn't look like any part of Manchester he recognises as he is now aware about his current situation.

After several more of boring formal introductions and some small chit-chat, they were finally about to initiate the "repopulation" program.

Finally he can go back into having sex again, about fuckin time, he was feeling...romantical.

He felt like the happiest man in the world right at the time, even happier than the time he made Paul puke by tricking him into eating a pickled boiled egg with mustards while being drunk.

Then as he was busy wanking his Wee on some harpy's tits...

"I woke up..."

"WHAT?" Shouted Kent Paul from the inside of the Bathroom.

"Yeah...that twat Johnson woke us up, while I was busy wanking my d to some fat birds tits..."

"AHHHH- SH -AHHH- IT!"

...

"You okay there P?" Maccer asked with a hint of concern on his tone.

The bathroom door then opened, revealing a very sour looking Kent Paul standing right behind the door.

"Yeah I'm alright, just... finished..."

"So how is it?"

"Worst wank I ever had, Next time if I want to jack off, I'll just risk my life to that porn shop not far from here..."

The northerner simply chuckled at the remark, before continuing...

"Should we tell your pal Rosie there that you just jacked off on his bathroom?"

"No! fuck no, have you lost your mind? he would've gotten a stroke if you ever tell him about this, let's just pretend this never happened"

"Why?"

"Because like I said previously, it's not my proudest wank, that Thai ladyboy made me came better than this shite."

"Really? It actually makes me hard thinking all of those shite again! Fuck me one of those Bird-Chicks reminds me of that blonde groupie chick we met at Hamburg..."

"For the last time, it wasn't a groupie, it was a fuckin roadie with a long hair!"

"So? Still looks woman enough for me! Plus she got some great tits!"

"Those were man tits!"

The two then began walking back to the living room, before settling themselves on the same couch they were sitting on minutes earlier, just as then Maccer opened his mouth again, looking to start a conversation.

"I swear to god P, that shit feels way too real to be a dream! what if I was really on another world at the time?"

Hmmm...

That statement alone brought Kent Paul back to his thought earlier while he was in the bathroom, too busy touching himself and trying to get his "stress juice" out.

The possibility of the whole thing being more than just a dream and Maccer getting sucked into a portal to god knows where.

To think about it, while being high in the desert three moons ago, when they communicated with the lizard king, he remembered he gave each five of them a wish, he got the honor of being the first one to wish, he couldn't really recall what he wished though, but strangely he still remembers what the others had wished, the drummer wished for a pet goldfish while the bassist, wished for a pack of ciggy, while that hippie wishes something along the line of the complete destruction of the pentagon, something the lizard king had to pass on unfortunately as it was "too much work for him" and so he opted to be transported to a Japanese bathing house instead by the next few hours.

Then it was Maccer's turn, he remembered him wishing that he wanted to be transported to a world filled with hot chicks with all the kind of titties, regardless of race or what species they are, then the next thing he knew, a portal appeared right below Maccer and he was sucked through inside and gets thrown out from the same portal just right around 30 seconds later.

Or it could've been he was getting sucked by a quicksand instead...he didn't know, it was blurry...the same thing goes to the rest of his memory that day, it was either blurry or he had no recollection on what had happened.

Thought still, Could it be that Maccer was actually being transported to an entirely different world and banged fantasy creatures while he was in there?

Perhaps he should try contacting that weird hippie again to provide him some of his peyotes, who knows? Maybe they could communicate with the lizard king again and this time, it would be his turn venturing a fantasy world filled with hot chicks...

Or maybe it wasn't the peyotes, it was probably one of Maccer's tablets instead...

Where did he even get any of those shites anyways?

"Nah, don't think about it too much mate"

Silence soon befell the two again as they were waiting for whatever that was coming for them in the next minutes or hours...

And...done, yeah I don't really have much to say here as a closing note, asides from the fact that I only kept writing this fic as a showcase of how good or bad my writing skill is, I don't really know for sure honestly, but I guess I could give it a..."Meh" rating I think?

Anyways let me know what do you guys think about this silly little fic I wrote a while back, again criticism is always welcomed.

Ciao.