Waking up in the Fade is... an experience.

I guess for people like Solas it could be an enjoyable one. If you had full control over your surroundings, could manipulate it to be however you wanted. Could travel around even, talk to people, spy on dreams. That'd be pretty cool actually.

Especially in a place like Kirkwall.

I didn't remember many lines from the games anymore. I'd played them a couple of times, but I'd never really gone hardcore into them. Not enough to memorize any but some of the funnier quips and banter. One of the few I could recall was when Solas talked about sleeping in ancient ruins or battlefields, all so that he could watch history repeat itself in the Fade.

Kirkwall wasn't a battlefield, or an ancient ruin.

It was worse.

I groaned, rolling my neck as I looked around. My little personal dream space wasn't very big tonight; a perfect circle of grass about a dozen yards wide. To one side I could see the reflection of the Vhenadahl, the great tree looking far more solid, far more real, than I'd honestly expected. Just beyond it, far in the distance, I could see an enormous tower of light from where the Gallows would be.

Honestly I wasn't sure what that was about, but my current theory was that the light was coming from the sheer number of ward spells thrown up around the place.

"I could do with some of those." I stretched out my arms, groaning a little as I turned away to check out the rest of my surroundings.

Dark, looming buildings surrounded me on every other side. Foul liquid dripped from them, while shadowed spirits played out the awful history of the city. There, someone being whipped. Just beyond, a form swayed from a noose. Smaller forms chased rats with gleaming eyes, flicking here and there without crossing the space between.

One got too close to my little pocket dimension. Ropes made of fire snapped into existence, their flickering light burning away the fuzzy image of a starved urchin to reveal the ragged cloak of Despair.

The little demon drew up short, its hood hiding its features apart from its weathered chin and cracked lips. It hissed, mouth moving as it spoke to me.

Blessed silence was all that I could hear.

"...and I finally got that working." My shoulders slumped in relief. "Thank God."

Despair stopped talking, tilting its head as if baffled. It started flitting around my circle, never quiet touching the net of fire that appeared each time it got too close, but clearly probing my defenses all the same.

"...useless... it... listen..."

I'd just been about to sit down to meditate when I heard the whispers. Snapping my head around, I stomped my tiny feet over to the part of the net that it was lurking outside of. A quick look let me find a bit of the net that was wider than it should have been.

"Repair time." I muttered. "Thanks, little thing. I'd rather you found it than someone stronger."

Despair could apparently hear me just fine, because it looked incredibly put out by my response. "...alone..."

"Yes, yes. I'm alone, helpless, never getting home, my dreams are ash. I've heard it all before. Your kind isn't subtle."

I ignored its scowl in favor of bringing my hands up, focusing on my magic.

To everyone whose never felt magic, real magic, it's... very weird. It wasn't something that you felt in your soul, some metaphysical sixth sense that you got just for being a mage. At least it wasn't for me; maybe it was for everyone else. If so, they were lucky bastards.

For me... it made all five of my regular senses go off at the same time. I could feel rough bristles sweeping over my skin, the scent and taste of a campfire in my nose and mouth, hear the crackle of electricity, see white sparks flying in from nothing to form the spell.

It was distracting as hell.

Not nearly as distracting as the Demon that suddenly popped into existence behind Despair. It wore a fine silk kimono colored in blues and reds, and had long smoking pipe held in one clawed hand. Jewelry hung from the horns on its head, the metal gleaming alongside its sharp teeth.

"Good work finding the crack, little one." It purred, voice easily slipping in through the holes in my net.

I wasn't sure who jumped higher; me or Despair. Of course Despair hadn't been trying to work a spell, so I was definitely more annoyed. The sparks and lights sputtered into nothing as I lost my grip on the magic, leaving me to stumble back as I tried to recover my balance.

"Dammit! I told you to fuck off, Longing!"

"And how sad I was when I discovered you did not mean that literally." Longing batted its eyelashes at me. "Come now. Would one night between friends truly be so awful?"

I glared daggers at the Elder Demon of Desire. "We're not friends."

It gasped, demurely bringing a hand to its lips. "How cruel. After everything that I did for you?"

"Friends don't demand payment." I countered. "That's what makes them friends."

"Friends from Earth," The hand lowered, letting me see its smile, "do not know how to teach you the basics of magic. And my price was a pittance and you know it."

I glared at her, glared at the outfit that she'd taken from my memories.

Making a deal with a demon had not been my first choice. Or my second choice. Hell, it had been number one on my 'Do Not Do That!' list when I'd realized I had access to magic. Of course that had been easy enough to think at the time. Before I'd started to feel the energy buzzing under my skin every minute of the day, feeling my teeth vibrating from the force of it.

Before I'd fucked up in front of a Templar in Nevarra, lashing out with unfocused magic when someone had swatted my ass in an inn. Before I'd spent three days running for my life through farm fields, only losing the mage-hunters when I'd run across a Dalish hunter pursuing a herd of deer.

She'd been kinder than Merrill's clan, once I'd explained myself. She'd led me through hidden paths, given me a bit of food and advice on how to survive in the wilds. Even tried to convince her Keeper to give me rudimentary training in magic.

Her Keeper's refusal to even consider it had been the opening Longing had been waiting for. When my despair and hopelessness had reached the point where demons of those names had been hounding my every step, when I'd gone three days without sleep in a desperate attempt to avoid seeing them filling my dreams.

"Yes." Longing purred, clearly knowing exactly what I was remembering. "I banished those little creatures for you. I taught you control, kept your dreams sheltered for four months, and all I asked for was a few memories. I didn't even rip them away from you."

"Because I can't long for what I don't remember." I growled back. "Don't pretend it was altruism. I know you were the reason I dreamed of home for a solid week after that, even if I never caught you."

Longing smiled, bringing her pipe to her lips and puffing slowly on it. Beside her, Despair slowly slunk away, its attention clearly on the elder demon rather than me. She... no, dammit, it ignored the other one entirely until Despair had vanished in one of the innumerable shadows.

Huffing out a frustrated breath, I brought my hands back up and tried to regain my focus. I needed my dream-catcher to be air-tight if I wanted to keep Longing out in the future.

"Oh don't be like that." It pouted again. "Your little ward is a lovely effort for a beginner, but we have a connection. It may keep me from approaching, but it will take far more than a mere net to stop me from being able to speak with you."

"I know." I growled, pulling the first rope together; a line of silent flame danced between my palms, lengthening as I extended my arms to either side.

Summoning a little line of demon-repellent was the easy part.

Anchoring it to the others was the part that sucked.

Longing watched patiently as I carefully pushed the rope out. Feeling one end attach to the net, invisible fingers wrapping around my wrist while the scent turned to an awful mix of ozone and sulfur. Clenching my teeth, I focused on my other hand, curling my fingers in the way I wanted the rope to wrap around the existing net. The first few times I'd tried it the spell had blown up in my face. Literally.

I'd gotten better at it; now it was merely difficult and time consuming, so long as nothing distracted me.

After a couple minutes of careful adjustments, the new strand snapped into place with a crackle, letting me slump in relief as I let go of the spell.

"Say something?"

"Something." The demon replied promptly. It wasn't quite as loud as it had been a minute ago, but it was still more than audible. Dammit. "And I told you so."

I glowered at her. It. Dammit. It was an it.

"Such a rude little girl. Here I was about to offer you more training, with the same price as before."

"No."

More not-actually-smoke puffed out from her pipe as she took a drag, blowing it out through her nose. "Must you be so stubborn about this? You gave me three years of memories, and I taught you the basics. Three more years for the advanced course is... what was your term? An extreme discount?"

"No." I repeated. "I'm not giving you any more hooks into my brain."

She huffed. "It is more of a light tether, dear, since you insisted on me teaching you instead of simply giving you the knowledge. The way you mortals do things is incredibly inefficient."

I shrugged, crossing my arms. "Point remains. My answer is no, Longing. Go bother someone else."

"I already fed quite well tonight." Its grin became vulpine, a clawed finger tugging at the kimono to expose a bit of bust. "He found the clothing of your world to be wonderfully exotic."

..ugh. That more than a little disturbing.

"I'm not in the mood to be your sloppy second, and I really don't want to hear about you banging some horny old man in his dreams."

"Young man." It corrected me. "Oh. Is that the problem? Should I take on a more masculine appearance tonight? Are you in that sort of mood? Oh! Perhaps a form with bits of both? That's proving to be rather popular. I can't believe I never thought of it until I saw your memories."

"No." I replied flatly, really wishing that my teenage fumbling around porn sites hadn't been one of the memories she'd picked up. "Be quiet or go away. I need to practice my spells in peace."

She scoffed, rolling her eyes around another puff on her pipe. "Two years of memories, and I will train you every evening for four months. More than fair."

"No."

"One night of pleasure for two weeks of training."

"Fuck off, Longing." I snapped. "No memories, no wet dreams, no more deals. Fuck. Off. Whore. Bitch."

Longing narrowed her eyes, genuine anger appearing in her expression for the first time. It was the only warning I had before she pulled out the big guns; she sat down, a beach chair appearing out of nothing to support it. It kicked its feet up, stretching out with a pleased groan. A moment later an umbrella snapped open above her, shielding her from non-existent sunlight, while a shadowed spirit bustled forward to offer her a pina colada. Behind her the air shimmered, the vaguest outlines of skyscrapers appearing, the sound of surf echoing all around.

My heart lurched at the memory of the last vacation I'd taken. For a moment I could remember the feel of the sand between my toes, the warmth of the ocean as I lounged on Miami's beaches. Hear my family laughing at my brother's antics in the water. God I missed...

The longing made my heart physically hurt, tears welling up in my eyes.

The demon smiled and sipped her drink. Some kind of metaphor for how she was currently feeding on my emotions, I sure.

"...fucking bitch." I whispered, reaching up and rubbing at my face. "You spiteful bitch."

"Just reminding you of what I can offer, dear."

"Trapped in my own memories for the rest of my life, while you run my body like a puppet?" I turned my back on her, stomping back into the center of my protective circle, still wiping away the tears she'd dragged out of me. "No thanks."

Her voice faded a little as I moved away, dropping to a whisper as I moved away from the edges. "You wouldn't know, dear. You'd be comfortable, able to live through every dream of home that you have. Able to relive any moment you desired, no longer trapped in a pathetic, barbaric world."

"Shut up." Kneeling down, I closed my eyes, taking deep breaths. "Just shut up."

Longing quieted down, her pitch for the night apparently done. She just lounged in her beach chair, watching as I tried to get a spherical barrier to work properly. I could call up the protection, that part wasn't hard, but making it so that I could still do things through it was proving to be a challenge.

I was on my twenty-second attempt when the distant rumble made me pause. It repeated a second later, the pattern clearer when I was focused on it; two sharp raps, a pause, then a third. Someone was knocking at my door in the real world.

Giving Longing a final glare, and getting a cheerful wave in return, I hissed, "Wake. Up."

One blink I was kneeling inside a protective bubble of fire inside the Fade, the next I was staring up at the ceiling of my room.

Words can't really describe how disconcerting that is either.

A third set of knocks came with a muffled shout, "Buzz! You in there?"

"Coming!" I shouted back, extracting myself from my hammock as quickly as I could. If Varric was knocking on my door than it had to be pretty late in the day. It was rare to see the dwarf awake before noon. "What time is it?"

"Eleven bells!"

Groaning, I finally got to my feet. My fire had gone out entirely during the night, the scent of wood smoke lingering just enough to cover up the city's general stink. Padding over to the door, I grunted, lifting up the wooden beam that secured it. Setting it aside, I flicked the lock, then yanked it open a little before walking away.

"Buzz." Varric groaned, nudging the door open with a hand. "We've talked about this. It's not a good look for a lady to let a man into her house alone."

"I'm not a lady. Your words." I muttered, already grabbing one of my opened bottles of wine. "And the entire city knows you've only got eyes for your crossbow."

That earned me a quiet chuckle. Despite his protest he came inside anyway, kicking the door shut with a heel. "Wine with breakfast again?"

"Always. You need some?"

"Nah."

Shrugging, I poured the last of the bottle into a mug that I'd 'borrowed' from the Hanged Man. "Suit yourself. I thought you didn't have any work for me."

"City's got a situation." Varric replied, leaning back against the wall, arms crossed. "I need a trustworthy pair of eyes on it."

"And you came to me?"

He snorted. "I also need someone that can count higher than the number of toes and fingers they've got."

"Ah." I bobbed my head before bringing my mug up. It was pretty weak stuff, more grape juice with a sour bite than proper wine, but at least it had flavor. "It must be quite the situation if you're awake before noon."

"It is."

Blowing out a breath, I leaned a hip on my table and sipped more wine. "How bad?"

"The Viscount's letting a few hundred Qunari set themselves up by the docks."

I nearly choked on another mouthful, swallowing very carefully. Oh shit. I mean, I wasn't really surprised. I knew they had to show up sooner or later, but I'd been too focused on everything else to really think about it.

Merrill's clan arriving, followed closely by the Qunari showing up... that meant Isabella would be here soon, if she wasn't already. My estimate of how long I had must have been off because we were getting awfully close to the start of the game proper. Closer to when Hawke would be free to run around, collecting friends, doing quests.

Releasing Flemeth, and giving me my chance to go home. To actually go home, not just be lost in memories.

"...oh." I said finally. "That's a thing."

"Tell me about it." He sighed, but his eyes were focused on me. "Viscount's office says they're being given space to keep the peace. That they're shipwrecked, and will be staying until a new ship arrives from Par Vollen to take them home."

"And you don't believe him?" I guessed.

"You know me. I like to hedge my bets." A hand vanished into his coat, emerging with a small bag of coins. "Fifty silver. Numbers, what they're up to, ways in and out of their compound, any patrols they're setting. The usual."

I caught the bag when he tossed it over, weighing it in my hand before nodding once. He caught it in return when I tossed it back, "You want it fast, or you want it done thoroughly?"

"I've got cheaper sources for fast."

"True." I shrugged, just checking. "For fifty I'll watch them every day for a week and let you know what I'm seeing."

"That works... are those my books?"

Blinking at the sudden change, I turned to glance at my bookshelf. Well, my shelf with eight books on it. Calling it a proper bookshelf seemed pretentious. "...yes?"

He tilted his head, "Buzz. Why do you have all of my books on your shelf? Maker's breath, you've even got the first issue of Swords & Shields?"

"I like reading." I replied defensively. "And you're the only casual author I know about."

"And?"

I blinked again. "And what?"

"What do you think of them?" He pressed, grinning. "Come on. Give me your honest opinion."

"Uh... your mysteries are really good. Bit over the top, but good." I hesitated, then admitted, "I think that kind of bled over into Swords & Shields though. I think you missed romance and just ended up with a smutty mystery instead."

To my surprise he barked out a laugh, "That's exactly what my editor said. Wasn't about to rewrite the thing though, and sales aren't bad. I'm surprised you read it though. Does a romantic's heart secretly beat under your roguish exterior?"

I made a face at him. "It's too early in the morning for purple prose, boss."

"It's almost noon." He paused, then spoke a beat in advance of me. "Exactly! Too early!"

"-too early!" I paused at the echo, sighed, and asked. "I use that one too often, don't I?"

"Just a bit." Still grinning, he stepped away from the wall and made for the door. "Maybe if you stop breaking into my rooms I'll let you read the next serial before it publishes. Keep that in mind the next time you want to give me a heart attack."

"I'll try to remember."

"Uh huh. Cards and drinking tonight?"

"If I'm not dead from spying on Qunari, sure."

"I've got faith in you. See you tonight."

He left, leaving me sipping stale wine, thinking furiously about what was going on in this city.

The Qunari were here. Merrill was outside of the city. Two pieces were in place... and I was running out of time to figure out where the rest of them were. I needed to know where Isabella was, if Fenris was in town. If Aveline was already in the Guard, where Hawke was. Perhaps more importantly, what kind of person Hawke turned out to be.

I needed more information, but I wasn't going to have the time this week. It would be easy to tell Varric that the Arishok was the one leading the Qunari, and that they were not setting up a mere temporary camp. I knew that in advance.

But I had no idea how many of them there actually were, what their compound would look like in real life, that kind of thing. I'd actually need to do the work.

"Time to spend some of my savings then."

Setting my mug down, I walked over to the fireplace counted three bricks to the right, and got my fingers settled around it. Pulling it free revealed my personal stash of coins; just less than a hundred silver. A far cry from the twenty-two sovereign Varric was managing for me, but enough for what I needed.

Like Varric had said; he had people he could pay far more cheaply to get him fast information.

And I had an entire alienage's worth of elves who'd do a lot for a single silver. I'd been hoping to avoid using them like spies, but...

"...running out of time." I picked out a few coins, staring down at them. "All right. Let's start small. Let's find out where Gamelin lives, and just how Aveline is doing."