We rested for a while on the ledge outside of the Thaig, eating what we could before catching up on badly needed sleep.

Well, everyone else slept. Merrill and I had to do repairs to my Dream-catcher, which had not handled the abrupt severance of my connection with Longing very well. Between us we manged to reconnect the various bits of the spell that had unraveled, made a few upgrades we'd thought of during our research on making more, then managed to catch a few hours rest on the hard ground before Varric roused us for the long march home.

And it was a very long march.

The Deep Roads may have been a creepy, blight-infested mess, but they were still roads. We'd made far better time along them than we did picking our way down the mountain, doing our best to head south-west toward the sea. Fenris and Merrill turned out to be our saviors there; they had enough wood skills between them to hunt down a couple of goats and a deer, and were able to find a clean river to refill our water-skins.

Fenris didn't talk to her though. Or anyone besides Isabella. A dismissive scoff was the only reaction I got from him when I told my story of what I'd felt when I'd touched the Idol, what my nightmares had been.

Anders wasn't much better. My story clearly perturbed him. If anything he seemed even more wary of me now, despite the fact that my connection to Longing was gone. There really wasn't any easy way to confirm that, so I supposed he thought I was lying to try and get him to relax around me. The only concession he made was to check me over for signs of the taint every morning along with everyone else. We got lucky there; none of us were doomed to a much shorter lifespan one way or another.

Long story short, it was a pretty miserable couple of weeks hiking down a mountain. Fenris usually far ahead as the lead guide, Anders far behind as the rear guard, and the four of us who were still friends stuck in the middle. We did our best to pass the time with our usual banter, but it was strained and awkward even between us. Isabella was probably the only person in the entire party who was coping well with all of the revealed secrets and Bartrand's betrayal, but she also wasn't the kind of person to carry the emotions of five others on her shoulders.

She tried on the first few days, God bless her, but she quickly ran out of enthusiasm and became just as tired and sullen as the rest of us. A situation that only got worse when we finally reached the entrance to the Deep Roads, where we'd left the horses and handlers.

Where we found what was left of them.

"Fuck." I got a boot under a corpse, kicking it over to reveal the slit that had opened his throat, covering his chest in his own blood. "I don't think this was Darkspawn. Too clean. The horses?"

"Gone!" Anders called, frustrated. "So are all of mules and the wagons."

I grimaced, turning left and right, looking over the camp. "Tents are still mostly intact, not many animals have been picking at the bodies either. Can't have been more than a couple of days."

Fenris grunted, walking past me. "Three at most."

"How do the Deep Roads look?" I asked, following him.

"Empty." He replied without turning, "But from the number of bodies near the entrance, I would guess that they rushed over to greet Bartrand when he returned, and were cut down by those coming out. These are just those who lived to run."

Varric's massive jaw flexed, "Maker's balls. You sure?"

"As the witch said, this was not the work of Darkspawn. It is too clean, and the women among them were killed rather than captured. Bandits would have taken the tents and supplies, as well as stripping the bodies." A hand waved at a dead dwarf on our right, slumped next to a cooking pot filled with a completely burnt mess. "At a minimum they would have eaten the food."

"He's right." Isabella called, shaking her head as she tugged something off a woman's corpse. "This poor girl still has a silver ring on her fingers. No bandit would leave free money laying around."

I shook my head, glancing at Varric as we approached. "I don't think your brother wants to share the wealth with anyone."

The words made him scowl, but he didn't disagree. "Doesn't seem like it. We'll have to be careful when we get back to Kirkwall. Who knows what that blighted-bastard has told everyone."

"Straight to Brennan?" I asked.

"Straight to Brennan." He agreed. "Let's grab what food's still good and get going."

We managed to do enough scavenging to refill our packs with a respectable amount of food, and I was pretty sure Isabella topped off her shares of the loot by removing a few other valuables from other bodies.

Soon enough we were off again, in our now-usual formation. We made decent time across the trail the expedition had broken to get to the Deep Roads to begin with, and started making even better time once we reached the roads proper.

Heh. Roads. It was a dirt path that ran along the coast. Not exactly an Interstate Freeway, but it was a hell of a lot better than what had come before.

That bit of good news lasted for just a couple of days before we hit the next sign that not all was well with the rest of the expedition; a mixed-species group of men were stripping down more corpses amid the ruins of a camp. They were wearing horribly mismatched armor, with weapons that looked to be in dire need of a smith's attentions.

Bandits. Joy.

A massive Qunari, or Tal-Vashoth, or whatever their actual species was called, was apparently the leader. He brought up a spear as tall as he was when we approached, aiming it our way in a clear warning.

"This bounty is ours." His words were a growl, his followers quickly dropping what they were doing to form up around him. "Move on or join them."

I kept one hand on my sword's hilt, but held the other up. "We're not here to steal your loot. These bastards left us for dead a few weeks ago, we were hoping to catch up to their leader."

The man glanced over us, settling on Fenris with his enormous claymore. "...you are perhaps two days behind. They move slowly, with much arguing. We would have attacked but their numbers remain too great."

"Thanks." I tilted my head. "See you around."

"Panahedan."

We backed off, both groups eyeing the other until we'd gotten a ways down the road. Isabella fell back to join Anders in the rear guard for the rest of the day, and we kept a double-watch that night, but to our combined surprise the bandits didn't try to come after us. They must have gotten some decent stuff off of the dead idiots. That or they hadn't felt like fighting people with proper arms.

I wasn't about to complain. Not when more evidence, in the form of more corpses, began to pile up the longer we stuck to the road.

A man with a knife wound in his back there, a woman with her throat cut over there. Three Dwarven men shot down by arrows the next day, one of Bartrand's Elven servants hanging from a tree around noon, and two more men who'd been smothered in their bedrolls at the next good site for a camp. A couple of dead horses rounded it out, though none of us were good enough with the animals to know just why they'd been killed.

None of us were comfortable with what we were finding, but Varric took it the worst. His already limited attempts at banter dried up in favor of muttering about his brother. Quiet questions to the mages in the party about the idol, if it could have been doing something to his brain. All three of us admitting it was possible didn't seem to help.

It only got worse when we found a Bronto tied to a tree just off the road, handlers missing, the beast of burden still carrying packs filled with treasure.

"Bartrand would never have left coin behind." Varric tugged on the thing's reins, guiding it along behind us. "We've got to find that idol and smash it to pieces before he totally loses his mind."

I refrained from pointing out that his brother had been an unstable maniac to begin with, and that his mind was probably burnt beyond recognition by now. "We'll find him, Varric."

He grumbled more under his breath, not looking reassured. Not that I really could reassure him. I was pretty sure we weren't going to find Bartand. Not alive or sane, at least.

Touching the thing, waking it up... I'd probably short-circuited canon there too. It was clearly already affecting Bartrand's brain, and presumably the minds of everyone in the expedition. Affecting him at the level it had much later in the game, rather than how it had affected him earlier. He was probably as loopy as Meredith had become in the end, if not even more so.

Worse, I had evidence to support that theory. Sure, I could have seen Bartrand killing off a lot of the help on the way back. I was pretty sure he'd been planning to from the start.

...but the Bronto loaded down with the gold and jewels they'd stripped from the statues... yeah, no. There was no way in hell the Bartrand that I knew would have left that behind. He'd have tied them all together, marching them through Kirkwall's gates alone if he had to.

The apparent spree of murders stopped around then. Or, at least, we stopped finding direct evidence next to the road itself.

Our banter didn't resume. The days were spent in a tense silence, everyone on alert for the next thing to go wrong. Quiet reigned with Varric being unable to be our engine of conversation, with Fenris and Anders still wanting nothing to do with Merrill and I. Isabella didn't seem to know what to say or do either, and seemed determined just to get back to Kirkwall so she could get drunk enough to forget this had ever happened.

Merrill did her best to keep my spirits up, but there was only so much we could really talk about before it got repetitive.

All in all, I was in a great mental space when I went to sleep and opened my eyes to the Fade. We were about six days out from the city, camped along the coast, and the Fade reflected the ocean as only the Fade could.

I stood up with a quiet groan, stretching my arms out, scowling at a sea that looked like it was made from bubbling acid. The broken remains of a hundred ships were in sight, each and every one of them covered in spirits re-enacting the countless ways the poor sailors aboard had lived, died, or how they could have lived or died.

Closer to hand, I found my Dream-catcher's ropes were back to their old pure-orange hue, and humming along nicely.

Less pleasant was the Terror Demon sitting on a rock just outside of their boundaries, confirming that I was a bundle of fear about what we were going to run into back at the city. Next to him was a larger-than-usual Despair, the cloaked demon lounging on the ground beside its taller kin. Its hood covered its face completely, but its head seemed to track my movements regardless.

Joy. My two least favorite flavors of demon, confirming just what a rotten mood I was in.

Terror brought a skeletal hand up in a jaunty wave, broken teeth spread in a grin. I couldn't hear him, but he exaggerated his lips to make sure I could read them when he spoke. "The Nightmare Watches."

"Of course he does." I muttered, doing a very quick double-check of the wards on this side of the Veil. Without Longing's supercharger I didn't think I could keep the enormous bastard out if this asshole called in his boss, but I'd at least make him work for it.

And if he had to work for it, then I'd have a chance to wake myself before he could grab me.

Walking the perimeter, I kept a half an eye on Terror, using a hand to test the feeling of my netting. It watched, clearly amused, but didn't rise even when I did a full circle and turned my back on him for most of a minute before glancing over. Despair just watched through its hood, otherwise remaining still. Patiently waiting for me to fuck up and give in.

"All right, so now what?" I chewed on my lip, thinking about what to do next.

Longing wasn't here. That meant whether or not to call her, to talk to her, was the real question of the evening.

The sane and sensible part of my brain jumped up and down, both arms held out in an x-shape. I was free of her, again, and this time I knew it. There was no chance of her turning me into a living sock-puppet now. Not if I kept her out. She couldn't get through my wards on her own, I knew that, and without a connection I had a good chance of stopping her from talking to me as well.

True, eventually the Nightmare would realize I'd lost my Guardian... but it had been a few weeks already and he hadn't crushed me like a bug yet.

"...but that won't last." I glanced at Terror and Despair again, watching them watching me. "He'll figure it out sooner rather than later. Dammit. Why couldn't I have turned out to be a positive person, brimming with Hope and Compassion? Then I could have safer company in here."

Terror brought a hand up, resting his chin on his palm, still smiling at me.

"Fuck you." I growled. "And fuck your boss."

His grin widened.

I scoffed, took a deep breath, and pictured home when I raised my voice. Filled myself with my exhausted desire to get out of Thedas, to collapse on my bed and sob into my pillow. To have nothing but my dull, boring, wonderful life on Earth back. "Longing! I desire your company!"

She must have been listening for me, because she appeared in a flash of purple lightening the moment the last syllable left my lips.

There was no fun outfit from Earth this time. She wore the sheer silks common to Desire demons, the fabric just thick enough around her groin and bust to tease without revealing. It was a decent view, shame that her utterly furious expression completely ruined it.

...and her eye-patch was gone, revealing a white eye surrounded by horrific scars.

Her mouth opened, but I quickly shouted before she could say anything. "We've got spies!"

Longing's teeth snapped shut, her single eye sweeping around before settling on my other guests. The two younger demons didn't stick around for a fight; Terror faded out of view, becoming a shadow that flew off into the distance before she could take so much as a step in his direction. Despair similarly flitted away, its form becoming that of a woman hurling herself from the cliffs and into the sea.

"Subtle." I muttered, shaking my head in time to see Longing scoffing as well, then turning to face me.

"...what...do!?"

I grimaced. She'd clearly yelled the words, but it had been a broken whisper on this side of my wards.

"Good news, wards can mostly shut her up now. Remember to thank Merrill for the advice on those." I blew out a sigh. "Bad news, hard to negotiate at a safe distance when I can't hear her."

Longing upped her scowl from a seven to an eight and a half on the threatening meter, making me flinch and hold my hands up.

"Uhh... I'll flicker the wards to let you in again, in exchange for honest answers to three questions." I called to her, proposing the first deal that came to mind. "If you don't know the answers, then I expect you to track down a spirit that does and arrange for my answers."

She dialed her scowl up to a nine, and held up two fingers.

"Fine! Two questions."

Longing pointed at me, then mimed talking.

I groaned. "Ugh. All right. I'll let you in, and I'll give you an abbreviated explanation as to what happened from me to you."

A clawed finger rose, pointing to her lips, making me groan. "Fucking seriously... fine. A kiss as well, but if you push it I reserve the right to kick you back out. Good enough?"

Her eye rolled, but she brought a fist up near the wards. I swallowed, shoved down the knowledge that this was a horrible idea... and walked up to the netting before raising my own fist. The wards responded to my will, the ropes bending away from my arm to let me bump my knuckles against hers.

The wards bent further, spreading until there was a gap wide enough for her to walk through them. She did, tail thrashing wildly behind her, scowl never leaving her face even as the Dream-catcher reformed behind her.

"What. Happened?" She demanded without preamble. "What did you do?"

"I didn't do shit." I complained, "I'll tell you, but I want the kissing part of the payment out of the way first."

Her pale throat vibrated in a growl. "Maeve."

"Anders and Merrill aren't dreaming right now." I snapped back. "I'm not getting caught again, not when I've already told them our connection snapped. Fucking kiss me already."

The Elder Demon's bark of laughter was anything but cheerful. Nor were her hands gentle when she grabbed my shoulders, pulling me flush against her. The kiss was just as rough, her tongue dominantly shoving mine aside, forcing it out of the way so she could run hers over my teeth. Dainty fangs bit at my lips when she pulled back, making me whimper in startled pain.

"Your tale." She demanded, a hand on my neck, pinning me against her chest while forcing me to keep looking up at her. The weakest of magical threads wrapped around us, the tiny energy of the kiss not even able to create a proper link. "Now."

I worked my jaw, reaching up to check my mouth for blood. Only when I didn't find any did I reply, "We found the Thaig. It was filled with red lyrium, and-ow!"

Her claws dug further into my skin. "What. Did. You. Say?"

"...we found a Thaig filled with red lyrium." I repeated, "Ow. Fuck, Longing! Enough with the claws!"

It took her a couple of moments to relax her grip, breathing heavily through her little nose. Not that she actually needed to breathe, but the Fade was apparently telling me just how unsettled she'd just become.

"Tell me that you didn't touch it." A hand snapped to my chin, jerking it left, then right as she frantically looked me over. Checking me for something that only she'd be able to see. "You didn't touch its raw form, did you? You didn't even get near it?"

I got my own hands up, grabbing at her wrists. "Stop manhandling me already."

"Tell me you didn't touch it!" I jumped at her sudden yell, the yank that forced me to stare into her one good eye. "Tell me, Maeve!"

"I-no! Well, not the raw form. Bartrand waved an Idol-" My magic writhed, Dream-catcher groaning at the memory, "-in my face, and I knocked it aside. That's what cut the connection."

Her fingers tightened, making me hiss. "Bare skin?"

"No, I had gloves on." My own hand tried to wrench hers away, but I might as well have been trying to bend steel with my bare hands for all that she noticed. "Let me go, dammit!"

That earned me a low growl. She let go of my chin, which I appreciated, but then promptly ducked and swept me up into her arms bridal-style before I could try to avoid her. My one attempt to thrash my way free only saw her grip tighten, strong legs carrying us quickly to the center of my Dream-catcher.

She sat down, re-arranging me as if I was a protesting doll. Eventually I ended up with my legs on either side of her waist, her arms holding me down by the hips as I glared at her from a few inches away.

"The full story. Now."

I tried to make her head melt with the force of my glare. "The deal was that I'd give you an abbreviated explanation. I gave it to you."

"That is no longer good enough." She hissed, "Tell me the full details."

"No." I snapped. "I am not your puppet. You've got no tether to me anymore."

"And as soon as the Nightmare realizes that, you will be his prey again. I can feel your desperate desire to avoid his attention." Longing countered. "And I will not contract my power to yours again without the details of what happened down there. I will not expose myself to what you found if you carry it within you."

"I know that crap has the Blight, and I know that I didn't catch that disease down there."

Both eyes, healthy and ruined, narrowed to slits. "You know... ugh. I need those memories."

"No."

"I am not being a petty spirit, this is important. I need to know how you know what Red Lyrium is. How much you know about that corruption."

"No, you don't." I tried to cross my arms, but there wasn't enough space between us. I settled for putting them on top of hers on my hips instead. "I know enough to never want to go near it again, and to smash it to pieces from as far away as possible."

A feminine grunt came from her lips, "Good that you're showing sense in this, but that does not change the situation. Tell me what happened down there. This is important, Meave."

"Well you're not getting answers tonight." I replied haughtily. "Especially since you've been such a bitch, throwing me around however you want."

Longing seemed to need another few deep breaths before she could speak again, "What did the Idol look like, and where is it now?"

I pursed my lips... and said absolutely nothing.

Her groan was as long as it was annoyed. "One would think that you are the spirit, and I am the mortal. I do not appreciate the role reversal."

"Sucks to be you. And no, that's not an invitation to do something to me."

She rolled her eyes at that. "Insufferable. Ask me your questions so that we can negotiate how I am to power your wards again."

I'd honestly expected her to protest a bit longer, based on how this conversation had been going. Not that I was going to look a gift-horse in the mouth.

"We can do the latter first." I told her. "The same deal as last time. Mostly. You supercharge my Dream-catcher to keep every spirit out and silent except for you. In return, you can come and go from my dreams as you like. But you have to be on your best behavior, and you can't talk to anyone else protected by my Dream-catcher."

Her tail snaked around her waist, the tip sneaking up to tap my chin. "Clarification."

When I nodded, doing my best to ignore the way her tail was creeping closer to my lips, she went on. "Your personal Dream-catcher only. You intend to make more, but any mages they protect will not be covered by our contract."

"Yes, that's..." I got a hand up, catching her tail and yanking it down. "...fine."

"Duration?"

"Two years, then we'll renegotiate the terms."

"One." She countered.

"Eighteen months."

Longing hummed, then tipped her head. "Sixteen months, and we have a deal."

"Fine, deal." I replied, leaning in and pecking her lips with mine, quickly pulling back before she could try anything further. Magic swirled between us as the tether returned for the second time... and I tried not to show how comforting it was to feel it back in place. How it felt like a missing part of me had just been slotted back in where it belonged.

The curl to her lips told me I failed at that, even before she spoke. "It's all right, Maeve. You're allowed to desire me."

No. It wasn't. Even if I was nine-nine percent sure I only desired her as a friend and protector. And if that one percent was telling me I was in total denial, that percent could go to hell. "You still owe me two answers to questions."

"I do." She agreed. "Do you intend to ask them now, or save them for a later time?"

That was a pretty good question of her own, if I was being honest. I wasn't even sure what I was going to ask... or what I could do with any information that she gave me. Knowing what was up with Hawke, where Flemeth-Mythal was, or where Solas was sleeping were all important... but there'd be a long delay in acting on it. Not until after we'd gotten back to Kirkwall and settled the fallout from the current mess.

I supposed I could ask about the ritual that had brought me here... what that had really been about. What had happened. But how much did that really matter? I supposed that it would give me a clue as to how likely it was that I could go home at all. If I really did need one of the surviving Elven Gods or not. Ugh. There were too many options. My brain was being pulled in too many directions.

Longing was watching me intently, head bobbing very slightly, clearly picking up on my thoughts.

"I am." She agreed. "They are wrapped up in your desire for knowledge. Not my favorite taste, but decent enough."

"Ease up on the creepy emotion eating." I grumbled, desperately thinking hard on what information took priority right now.

Solas wasn't going anywhere, and I'd know where he was eventually. Mythal... even if Longing told me her location, I didn't think I'd be able to run her down... and she'd eventually show up in the Inquisition's story too. Maybe I'd make a run to Skyhold or something.

If I was going to learn about the ritual that brought me here, I had a bad feeling I'd need the ability to drink after. It seemed an easy guess that it had involved blood magic. That it would be enough to turn my stomach and leave me wishing I hadn't asked.

And I was not about to ask about Bartrand and the Red Lyrium. That was probably stupid of me, but... I couldn't think about that now. I'd been dealing with that crisis, that worry, that fear, for weeks on end now. I needed to think about something else. Anything else. I could admit to myself, in my head at least, that that was the real driving factor behind my refusal to tell Longing. Her annoying behavior was just the excuse.

So that left Hawke and Ferelden. It was important, I had to know, and I didn't trust Anders to give me the truth. For all of her faults, I knew Longing wouldn't lie to me, and I could stretch this distraction out for quite a while.

"I have my first question." I told her. "I'm going to save the other one for later, when I can actually think straight."

She licked her lips, leaning in until our foreheads were touching. "Then ask it, and I shall answer your desire."

"I desire to know who the Hero of Ferelden is or was, the names of their companions, and the current locations of them all."

Her chuckle sent non-existent breath tickling over my chin. "You push the boundaries of a single question. I will give you the names of those still living, but not their locations."

It was my turn to grumble. Both at the lack of where they were at the moment, and the implications of 'still living', but I nodded after a second. "Names, and tell me, don't beam it into my head!"

"So inefficient."

"Just tell me. Wardens first."

She sighed, but did. "Elissa Cousland. Daylen Amell. Faren Brosca. Theron Maharial. Alistair Theirin. Anders."

I waited a long beat, but that was apparently it. Six Wardens. Four of them were some of the different origins, if my increasingly faulty memory had them straight. I couldn't remember if Brosca was the noble or the commoner Dwarf. Four Origins meant two of them hadn't made it, and I still had no idea how they'd picked up Anders. Of course that was less important than the lack of a blatant name from Earth, or the fact that Hawke wasn't among them.

"And the rest?" I asked.

"Leliana. Morrigan. Sten. Gregory Smith." My fingers tightened at once, a hiss of excitement escaping my mouth. It made her pause, her own lips curling even as she continued. "Zevran Arainai. Wynne. Ogrhen. Shale. Marian Hawke. Carver Hawke. Bethany Hawke. Leandra Hawke. Bodahn. Sandal. Dagna. Do you wish to know the names of their hounds as well?"

"No, thank you." I murmured, barely listening after the name of a man who had to be from Earth.

Longing smirked. "You are not the only one here from your world, are you?"

I didn't see any point in dodging that question. My reaction had told her the answer already. "I don't think so, no. And you're the one that made me think that was the reason everything wasn't going like I thought that it would. I'm guessing you thought I wasn't the only one either."

"Oh?"

"You already knew all of those names." I noted. "I'd bet you ran off to find out every mortal involved in the Warden's tale the moment our little counseling session ended."

Her smile was a demure thing, "Of course I did. A Spirit of Desire is always prepared to satisfy the needs of those she deals with, or else she is a failure."

"Uh huh. What will I have to pay to learn more about him without burning my other question?"

That smile sharpened slightly, "The full tale of what you found in the Thaig, or else the memories connected to that... video we watched together."

"Not happening."

Her slim shoulders rose and fell, "Then it seems you shall not learn more from me. Not in this... and it seems your wards will keep out any other spirits who might have been able to answer as well. A shame."

"Cocky bitch." I muttered, getting my hands up and pushing at those shoulders. "Let me up. I need to get some magical practice in before I wake up. And put some actual clothes on. Best behavior, remember?"

She let me stand, a flick of her tail making her silks ripple and transform into my cut-off ACDC t-shirt and my favorite pair of jeans. A hum and a frown caused an eye-patch to appear as well, covering up the damage she'd taken on my behalf.

"Better?"

"Much." Her bared midriff was still distracting, especially with a little ruby in it, but at least she wasn't showing off her cleavage now. "I'll give you another kiss if you help me clean up my sword-throwing spell. I need it to be more mana-efficient."

Longing cocked her head as she stood up as well, a puzzled look on her face. "I will, of course, accept such a deal... if you tell me why you're so quick to make deals with me this night. It is most unlike you."

I glanced away from her, swallowing... and saw something moving through the ocean in the distance. A hazy outline of a Godzilla-sized spider swimming through the Fade. "There's one reason."

She followed my gaze, hissing when she saw the Nightmare gliding across the horizon. Watched it slow, settle into place. There must have been a ship out there, someone whose dreams had attracted his attention.

Poor bastard.

"That explains your eagerness to restore my power to your wards, but not your other arrangements with me."

"I..." I took a deep breath, then shook my head. "...Longing. Someone is taking that Idol straight toward Kirkwall. A cit of sixty-thousand people that's unstable on a good day, and that thing could be through the gates anytime now."

The spirit went utterly still. Even her tail froze, mid-swing.

"And when I wake up, I'm going to have to keep dealing with that." I said quietly. "I'm already spending every waking moment fearing what will happen when it gets there. Praying to a God I'm not sure cares about us mere mortals that Bartrand is going to turn away from the city."

Longing turned very slowly, turning her one visible eye to me. "Maeve, you-"

"I... I need to focus on something else tonight. I'm not so stupid as to have sex with you, but... I need a friend I can just be with. The only friend I've got that I'm not lying to." And how goddamned depressing was it to realize that a Spirit of Desire was the only person I'd been fully honest with since I'd gotten here?

Oh sure, I didn't tell her everything. I kept secrets. But that was different than the outright lies and half-truths I'd told the others.

It didn't leave me wracked with guilt, like when Merrill called herself my sister... and I remembered that one day I was simply going to vanish from her life.

That Merrill still thought my home was here somewhere, on this planet. A safe haven for Elves she hoped to reach. An unintended lie I didn't know how to undo.

"Please." I whispered. "Longing, I desire a friend tonight."

"...enough with the guilt, I can barely feel anything else in there." She sighed, shaking here head, "Show me how you gather your magic for the spell."

"Give me a few things to throw first."

She swept her arm, five bronze swords appearing on the ground between us. We ran over the spell dozens of times, her critiquing my every motion, the thoughts and intent I used to call up and focus the power. Swords flew into the distance, vanishing through the gaps in my dream-catcher's net.

I ignored the way the ropes migrated between orange and purple flame. Batted aside hands that occasionally tried to cop a feel as she instructed me.

And I let her kiss me again, just before Merrill's hands shook me awake...

...and we resumed our chase of a madman and his idol.