The angel who was in doubt whether he deserved to uphold his angelic statues found himself crying, silently, next to a demon.
I posted this on AO3 in September but I'm slowly transferring most of my fan fictions here..
This fanfiction is the first fic to a series called "Freckles of Love". In which Aziraphale and Crowley discover the way of healing through kisses that leave freckles. The following fic is called "Star-freckles" which includes a piece of my own illustration. I'll be posting it here shortly.
This is set in Season 2 after Aziraphale lied to Gabriel about the children. I saw the scene and couldn't not write of it in my own twist.
The angel who was in doubt whether they deserved to uphold his angelic statues found himself crying, silently, next to a demon. His mind was racing with possibilities and endless answers. It was like he couldn't turn off his brain. He lied against God's plans. He lied, and now he's no longer fully with all the other angel's. Just an angel going along with Heaven as far as he can. It pained him to think and acknowledge everything.
"Will it always feel like this?…" the angel sobbed, his voice was shaky.
A stretch of silence went between the two.
"…Aziraphale?"
The angel attempted to muffle his cry but was unsuccessful, the demon noticed.
Crowley turned to Aziraphale, only to see him covering his face with his hands, shaking. He felt an ache in his heart at the sight.
The demon was shocked, "Feel like what..angel?"
"Lonely.. no- not just loneliness. The dre-dread of lying… oh—" the angel bursted into another set of tears. Hands began to tighten around his face, as if to shield himself.
Crowley didn't know what to do with the angel crying. He was beyond shocked at the amount of vulnerability shown.
Silence fell for quite a while, only the angel's choked sobs were heard.
"….I-I'm so sorry.." the angel whispered, "I'll leave now." he muffled while standing up.
The demon shot up at that, startling the angel, and awkwardly stood there. He wouldn't allow himself to let the angel feel ashamed for crying. "Ermm, angel, you…"—-he thought about why he shouldn't leave and why it's weird for him not to allow him.
"You.. you can't go out lookin' like that.'' he blurted loudly.
The angel paused in confusion, scrunching up his teary face. A look of sadness. "….Looking like.. what?.."
"Well, angel,"—he stepped over to Aziraphale. Inspecting the angel's face dramatically, causing the angel's lips to quirk and face to scrunch.
"Mmmh, you're in no fit condition, nope. Look at these tears of yours!", he stepped back, and threw his arms up dramatically.
Aziraphale's lip wobbled, "Well.. if you're going to— to mock me!" he blurted, looking quite miserable.
Crowley's eyes widened, "No! no, no, no, I wouldn't mock you, angel. 'S only…" Crowley thought of what to do, worried that he might frighten the angel away. He hesitantly reached for the angel's face.
Aziraphale flinched, "Crowley?", he looked at the hand then back at the demon's, now soft expression. What in the world??
"'S alright, angel." he whispered, before finally clasping his hand onto the angel's cheek. He wiped a tear away, hissing, and closing his eyes shut. He'd forgotten the angel's cry of holy water. Although, that wouldn't stop him now.
Aziraphale was stunned with confusion, before his eyes widened and he clasped his own hand onto the demon's, attempting to push it away. "Crowley!! My tears are—are holy water! You, you can't touch them!" he said, shocked at the demon.
"Mmgh, it's alright angel..", he opened his eyes again.
The angel's lips wobbled, "but… you'll get hurt, because—because of me!", the tears began to fall once again at the thought of it.
Crowley attempted to raise his hand to the angel again, only to be backed away from.
"Angel…" he pleaded.
"Crowley. You'll be hurt, I, I'll hurt you." he whispered, breaking off.
The demon was silent for a while, "You can.. kiss the pain away. You're an angel.", he shrugged.
Aziraphale opened and shut his mouth abruptly, shock filled his face. He was unsure if this all really was happening. To hurt Crowley, but to heal him would be wonderful. With a worried eyebrow crease, he sighed deeply. "Okay.. but, if it hurts you too much, promise me to stop."
Crowley smiled lightly and took a step forward, reaching his hand to the angel once again, "Promise"
The angel quietly let himself be caressed, closing his eyes. He heard a few winces from the demon and tried his best not to falter away. The tenderness of the touch only led him to silently cry even more. He couldn't understand why Crowley was being so kind and generous. He couldn't understand why God would let Her own creations die off so easily. He couldn't understand why he hadn't already fallen for lying. He couldn't understand anything and that scared him.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Crowley…" he whispered.
"Shhh.", the demon hushed him.
"I'm a bad angel, I lied… I—" he choked on a sob.
Crowley catched the tears, wiping them away with such care and tenderness. 'You're kind.', he thought to himself.
The serpent navigated them back to sitting, with Crowley crouched down in front of the angel, holding his face still. He had the urge to hold the angel, and not only just his face. He'd like to hug and cherish the angel, and tell him how good of a being he was. How good of an angel he is.
Soon enough, the tears began to burn deeply, causing the demon to wince away slightly. Neither of them had even realized at the moment. The angel noticed the winces and quickly moved away from the demon. A look of surprise and confusion spread across Crowley's face. He attempted to move his hands once over to the angel.
Aziraphale grabbed Crowley's hands, shakily. Bringing them to his lips silently, and softly. Slowly kissing each burn with care. They both tried not to think too much about the contact, the shiver it brought to them. Crowley stared at the angel with adoration, as Azirpahale stared back with intent. Slowly, the burns began to tingle, before he felt nothing at all. The kisses of an angel. He gazed at his hands, spotting a bundle of small freckles where the past burns laid. A smile crept up his mouth, "Angel kisses.", he whispered.
The angel seemed just as shocked as the demon, staring in awe at the freckles. He felt himself start to relax, knowing he can always kiss Crowley better in situations like these. They sat there in silence, an understanding awning upon themselves. Aziraphale's fit of cries died out as he gazed at Crowley. Glancing at his freckled hands that laid in his palms.
Without any words spoken, Crowley opened his arms at the angel, a hug. For a few moments, Azirpahale stared at Crowley in confusion. He was shocked at the amount of surprises from Crowley today. And it seems like it's all only the beginning of surprises yet to come. A wobbly, small hint of a smile landed on the angel's face. The demon was quick to move away again, but Aziraphale was quicker. He let himself become embraced in the arms of a demon. It was… soft. It felt better than Heaven had ever felt, but he wouldn't ever admit that aloud.
The angel began to fully relax and melt into the demon's arms, when Crowley whispered, "..I'll lie for you, angel." It felt tingly near his ear, and he tried not to think of the shiver it gave him.
"What?", Aziraphale whispered back.
"I'll lie for you…and you, perform miracles for me. Almost like our very own arrangement.", Crowley gave him a tight squeeze.
"…Crowley.", his voice slightly cracked.
The demon took a breath, "Before you deny it, think about it..please?"
A small amount of silence passed through them. "I'll think about it." …. "Thank you, Crowley.", he squeezed back.
"Don't mention it."