Hello, everyone! I suspect for my older followers, this comes as a bit of a surprise.

I've always enjoyed the story that I created with 'For My Sake' but for the longest time, I've felt that the writing didn't do it justice. So, for the past while, I've been working on this rewrite of the story that I feel will help show what I wanted to accomplish in the original. That's not to say I'm deleting the original. Those who enjoy it can continue to enjoy it.

One thing that's going to be different is that while the original was a one shot, I'm going to be dividing this into chapters. There are seven total, and they will be released on a weekly basis starting today.

With all that aside, please enjoy!

Was it so much to ask for the day to go by just a bit faster?

If the Sinnoh region's autumn sun blinding my sight was any indication, the world's answer was a big fat 'yes.'

It would only last for a short time, at the very least. 10:02 to 10:05 if my guess was right. It had shifted a few minutes over the last two weeks, what with the seasons changing and all that, but the light would still shine through my bedroom window; it was a constant. Unless it was cloudy out. Or I decided to draw the curtains, rare but possible. Okay, I guess it wasn't a constant.

What was a constant was the fact that I'd be lying in my bed when it happened. Heh, 'lying.' Maybe that was too light of a term. Sulking would definitely be more appropriate, no reason not to call a spade a spade after all.

10:03. I should be in my calculus lecture right now. I should've been in my physics lecture an hour before that. But nope. I was here. Lying– I mean, sulking in bed. It had been that way for fifteen days now.

My phone didn't let me forget what was happening. I made the mistake of downloading my university's app when I started last month and every morning it sent a torrent of notifications along the lines of 'New assignment posted!', 'Assignment due tomorrow!', 'Due date passed! Assignment is late!' There was almost a rhythm to it; a doom waltz that never ceased. I could have deleted the app and spared myself from it all, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

A part of me thought maybe, just maybe, it was some sort of sick joke. That maybe once I had the balls to actually open the app and find out how screwed I was, the app would say, in a voice so sarcastic you could feel the smug grin it came from, 'Oh, sorry. There were no assignments due. You can stop skipping classes and get back to your dorm now!'

Yeah. Like that was going to happen.

I was more referring to the skipped classes and dorms. I wasn't going back. Never. Not after what happened. Home was safe. As safe as it could be.

10:04. A rock suddenly came through my broken window, briefly blocking the sun before it fell on the floor with a thock. I stared at it for a second before two more rocks came through in similar fashion. Unfortunately, those ones didn't stop the light. Just my luck.

The rocks all had small slips of paper attached to them with rubber bands. I knew what was written on them and just rolled my eyes. No point in reading something I had read a million times before. All the words lost their punch within the first few days of the rocks being thrown in. Hell, there was a corner of my room where I just threw all the rocks that came through. It was of decent size, though I guess that wasn't exactly something to be proud of. I hadn't cleaned most of the rocks that have come through the last few days, but they weren't in my way or anything. It didn't matter much.

Another rock came in. This one fully blotted out the sun. In fact, it went above and beyond, blotting out my entire vision as it glanced a blow over my right eye. It slumped off lazily without so much as a flinch from me and fell to the floor. I felt nothing.

That wasn't me being melodramatic. I can't feel pain. I've never been able to feel pain. Not a rock to the face, not a cut from a knife, nothing. There wasn't a mark or scar on my body to remember any events by. It didn't change the fact that I ran my hand over the area the rock had hit. A bit of dust but that was it. Of course. No bumps, bruises, or blood. No pain.

Outside my window, the protesting engine of a car that sounded ready for the junkyard screamed into the air and slowly quieted until it disappeared into the wind. It was the same people every single time. They always drove away in a hurry with a car that sounded like it was on its last legs in life. They were late today; must've needed to wait for a good opportunity. Even without the sound of glass breaking, there were still people that could see them. Still, that didn't stop them from not missing a day.

I would've called the cops on them, but that meant they would phone Mom. The one thing I didn't want to happen. It would just be the cherry on the shit sundae.

Finally, 10:05. The sun had moved enough that it was blocked by the neighbor's chimney. After that, it would be blocked by the tree out front for the rest of the day. My eyes were finally given their grace period.

From downstairs, I could hear the sliding doors to the backyard open. I didn't get up; I knew it wasn't anyone who wanted to hurt me. Not that they could, anyway. The douchebags who threw rocks only threw rocks. They wanted to keep their distance. They were afraid of what I was.

No, the ones that decided to just make their way inside were my two remaining friends. Not that it was exactly a large list before hell broke loose. I drifted away from most of my high school friends after I started university, and the ones that stayed drifted away right after everything happened. But those two? The home invaders? They always stuck by me. Another constant, I guess.

I should be grateful. There really was no two ways about it. Imagine if, at the drop of a hat, everyone in the world changed how they viewed you. Not in a particularly negative way, save for a few stray rock throwers, but everyone is giving you that look. You know the one. The one where they stare just a little too long, their eyes twitching as they look over you, trying to pull their sight away but can't. It's not because you look different, but because you are different. You're wrong. And then, despite all that, you have friends who look at you the same as always. Nothing has changed between you and them. Imagine having that kind of solace.

I didn't deserve that.

I heard the steady thump, thump, thump of someone excitedly running upstairs. They continued and grew in volume until they were right before my door. There were a few soft grunts as the door attempted to be opened. Even before I got back, the knob needed some WD40. If it still opened though, I didn't care that much.

Eventually, the door gave and swung open. I turned my head towards it. A weavile stood in the doorway, an annoyed look on her face.

"Your door still sucks, James," she said bitterly.

"Nice to see you too, Lex," I replied, staring back up to the ceiling.

"Would it kill you to leave it open?"

"And miss out on all the fun you have getting it open? Not a chance."

"You're such a dick," she scoffed. Her tail feathers brushing the doorway as she stepped inside.

"Takes one to know one."

Lex was one of my two best friends. Well, one of my two only friends now. A bit on the abrasive side at times, but she was a real softy at heart. She had to be, otherwise she wouldn't be checking up on me every day. She nearly kicked through the sliding door the first day she realized I was holed up here.

Most couldn't hear what any one pokemon was actually saying, but that had never been the case for me. Understanding them came to me as naturally as the immunity to pain, and for the same reason as well.

"So? Come on. How are you doing?" she asked, folding her arms.

I readjusted myself on the bed. "Oh, fantastic. Thanks."

"Really?"

I picked up the rock that hit my face and palmed it, feeling the weight in my hand. Hefty. The paper felt thin, notebook paper. I flicked it over to where Lex was without a glance. "Been reading some excellent literature."

My curiosity took the better of me and I looked at the rock I had just thrown. I only had a second before Lex plucked it from the floor, but I could read what was written on the paper.

'Join the circus, freak.'

Huh. Well, certainly better than most. Freak has been getting overused quite a bit though. I'd give it a solid B grade.

Lex looked over the rock, squinting at the letters as though she were reading it. I assumed she wasn't. She always rejected me teaching her, saying that she would learn on her own. Whether she had or not, I had no idea.

"Isn't this the same thing they wrote yesterday?" she said, tossing the rock behind her.

Was it? They all faded together after some time. Actually… no, she was right. It might've gone with 'creep' instead of 'freak' for the moniker but still. Damn. Dropped from a B to an F.

I nodded. "Yeah, probably is. Some originality they got."

She flexed her claws. "You know, all you gotta do is say the word and I'll slash their tires."

"No, Lex."

"C'mon. Just two?"

"No."

"One."

"None, Lex." I looked at her. "If you got caught then… you'd get taken away. I don't want that."

That made her pause, but it didn't take long for her trademark toothy grin to appear. "So if I don't get caught–"

"Lex."

"Fine," she said, waving me off. "Then if I'm not doing that, I guess I'm annoying you until you come and play with us."

Oh, Lex. To love or hate your stubbornness was the eternal question. "You really have nothing better to do, huh?"

"James, your sulking is probably the most boring thing I can watch. No shit I'm trying to lighten you up."

"It's not supposed to be boring? Shit, I've been doing it wrong."

Lex took another step in. "Come play with us already. You need it."

I didn't answer that. There wasn't much need to. Lex already knew the answer I would've said. Or if she didn't, she definitely should. Two weeks in and not getting the idea? It seemed unlikely for her.

I shifted my gaze back up to the ceiling. She wasn't going to leave, I knew that, and she knew that I knew that. Suddenly, instead of the countless bumps of the ceiling, I saw Lex's face looming over me. Terminal stubbornness, I swear to Arceus.

"You can't stay up here forever. You oughta be an idiot to do that," she said, giving me a hard look with those red eyes. "And you're not that much of an idiot so let's get out of here and have some fun."

I blinked and smiled a little. "Wow. 'Not that much of an idiot' according to Lex. My life's goal has finally been fulfilled."

My comment was met by Lex taking her claws and slapping me across the cheek. Any normal person would've had their face cut apart, but Lex knew what I was and was fine being a lot rougher because of it. I didn't mind it either. "Asshole," she said, grinning.

I lost my smile and stared off to somewhere else. Specifically, a new patch of ceiling. There were so many new bumps to discover. "You know how I feel about that stuff, why I don't want to play."

"So? Your reasons are bullshit. You need to get out of your rut, and if you're good enough for sarcasm, you're good enough for play."

"I didn't realize we were basing my condition on the ever so reliable Lex litmus test."

"If you give yourself a chance, you'll see it's more reliable than you think."

For a while, there was silence. I was contemplating what Lex had said while she was probably cooking up her next insult. I suppose she wasn't wrong. Not entirely. But I just couldn't play with them. Maybe later, but not now.

I think you mean never.

I shook the thought off and shuddered.

"James?" a voice said from the door.

I looked over and saw a braixen standing where Lex was just a minute ago. His hands were together in front and his tail slowly swished behind him.

Lex turned around. "Maybe you can get it through his thick skull, Kyle. He's being stubborn again."

You would know a thing or two about being stubborn, right, Lex?

She walked out of the room, Kyle stepping to the side so she could pass by. As soon as she was clear of him, he walked up to me, concern apparent on his face. "Are you feeling alright, James?"

"About the same as yesterday," I said.

"I'm so sorry. If there's anything I can get you then…"

"It's fine. Really."

He was wholly the opposite of Lex. She held nothing back, meanwhile Kyle would be too polite to tell you what his favorite color was . Green, by the way. Then again, that was with strangers. We were more than that, and damn if he wasn't a good friend. With him, Lex, and me, we made one hell of a motley crew.

He stopped as his foot knocked against the rock Lex had dropped. He picked it up and looked it over. Unlike Lex, Kyle had opted to learn how to read with me, and as his ears dropped in sadness, I cringed.

"Why do people keep doing this to you?" he said quietly, just barely above a whisper.

"They're assholes, simple as."

"They're… worse than that…" He placed the rock back on the ground.

I put one arm behind my head. "Doesn't matter. It's not like I care anymore. Can't hurt me more than they already have."

"We care, James." He went right up to my bed. "I know Lex doesn't show it, but she's scared. I am too. You're getting worse every day, even if you don't realize it."

"I know I'm not getting better."

"James, please," he said, putting a paw on my arm. The warmth felt comforting. "Just a few days ago you were throwing all the rocks into the corner. And now there's…" he looked over my room, a few rocks scattered along my floor, "You haven't done it for a while now..."

I brought a hand down, keeping the rest of my body firmly on the bed, and picked up the same rock from the floor. With a flick of my wrist, I sent it over to the corner with the rest of its brothers and sisters. "Happy?"

His blue eyes got big and watery, and I felt regret hit like a truck. I had gone too far. I may not have been able to feel pain, but emotions still hurt just as bad.

I put a hand on his paw. "Shit, Kyle, I didn't–"

"You don't…" He took his free paw and wiped his eyes while shaking his head. "You don't mean to be a jerk, I know that."

"I still shouldn't have. I'm sorry," I said, taking my hand off him.

"Please let us help." His eyes matched his words, pleading with me.

Almost everything inside me wanted to accept it all. Let Lex and Kyle in and let them help. It was so simple, of course I couldn't do it. There was that one part that kept me from letting it happen. The part that I couldn't change no matter what.

"I can't, Kyle. You and Lex have heard that from me a million times over now."

"And I'm asking again because it really doesn't make sense to me."

"You sound like Lex."

"James."

I stopped talking and shifted my body so I could face him better. I didn't like it when he got serious on me like that. I felt like I was so far away from the timid fox that he actually was.

"Do you really hate that part of you?" he asked.

"Did you just read my thoughts?" I replied. That probably wasn't true. Kyle was never that apt with his psychic ability. Then again, I was pretty sure whatever expression was on my face painted the picture better than whatever state my thoughts were in.

"N-No but… I know that look you have," he said, looking away for a second, as though he were embarrassed.

Knew it.

He closed his eyes. "I just want you to tell me, okay?"

The question wasn't something I gave much thought to. There was nothing for me to dwell on. I did hate it. With every bit of my soul. There were probably plenty of people who were like me and were completely fine with it. There were probably people who loved it. Good for them. For me, if I could redo that day on the stairs, I would. If I could redo that day three weeks ago, I would. I hated it so much.

"No, I don't hate it. I've never really hated it, I guess," I said. I silently hoped my mask of uninterest would obscure any hint of the lie.

Kyle wasn't fooled. "So why do you hate it?"

I went silent for a moment, debating whether I should answer. We had never really gotten to this point before. I guess it wouldn't hurt testing the waters. "I hate that… that I was stupid about it. I knew how people thought about people like me, I just… I shouldn't have assumed Jenna thought differently. If I hadn't done that then I wouldn't be here. I was just too damn stupid."

Freak.

Another shudder.

"You weren't stupid," Kyle said. "You wanted to tell her eventually and you didn't know how she felt about… what you are… If you had asked her, she would've just asked the obvious follow up question. You were in a corner."

"I could've broken up with her," I said, lying back fully on the bed. "There would've been pain, but I'd be okay. It wouldn't have lasted as long as this. It wouldn't hurt as much as this."

"You shouldn't have needed to–"

"I could've just never gotten with her to begin with," I cut in, the thought coming on a whim.

"You can't do that to yourself, James. You're allowed to be with people like that, it's not your fault that she reacted that way. It's not your fault."

'Not my fault.' I guess that was just tit for tat then. I lied to him, he lied to me. It was my fault. I could've prevented everything from spiraling out of control but nope, I had to open my big dumb mouth. I could've said anything else, and I probably would've been fine. Sorry, Kyle, but there was no universe where this wasn't my fault.

I went to speak, but something stopped me. A feeling took my mind suddenly, like my train of thought just stopped dead on the tracks. All the negativity that used to be there was just gone, as though it was never there to begin with. It would've been comforting had it not been so confounding why it had vanished.

Then, in its place, a warmth appeared like a blanket fresh from the dryer on a cold night. I actually felt… good? I was actually thinking good thoughts? It was hard to believe that it was real, yet so refreshing that I didn't even question it much. It gave no guidance, and yet…

It made me realize what I should do next.

I sat up from my bed. "Alright, good pep-talk, coach," I said, stretching my arms.

Kyle's ears perked up. "You're going to play with us?"

"Sure, sure. Might as well do what Lex told me and get out of rut." I ran my fingers through my brown hair to tame it. "Damn it, I hate proving her right."

He smiled brightly, enough for me to get my own. "Thank you, James. We're going to have a lot of fun. Just like we used to."

Kyle backed up to give me room as I swung my legs over and stood up from the bed. I looked over myself. A bit rumpled, but at least I had a shirt and shorts on. I wasn't sure when I last changed them, but they didn't smell bad. Small favors.

It was still hard to get over what happened. Two weeks I had spent, stewing in my own thoughts, and it all just went away like a snap of my fingers? It wasn't right. Then again, I wasn't complaining. My head was just a bit clearer for the first time in forever and all things considered, I would be doing myself a favor by taking what I could get. The source of it all may have been a mystery, but it was one that could wait to be solved. If playing with Lex and Kyle was going to help continue this feeling, I saw no reason why I shouldn't indulge them.

For all that was good in the world, I hoped this feeling stayed. Arceus, I hoped it did.

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Peace!

-Minusbomb