"So you'll be like a dog tracking a bone," said Donna, cottoning on.
"Or a Niffler finding treasure," supplied Barty, twisting the door handle. After peering around cautiously, he motioned for Donna to follow him back out into the deadly hallways in their search for the TARDIS.
Barty and Donna made their way down the bright white hallways, ducking inside doors and flattening themselves against walls whenever they saw Cybermen marching by, making sure to avoid them at all costs. With every move forward, Barty heard the hum of the TARDIS growing clearer and clearer.
"It's getting louder now. We're almost there, I think," Barty whispered to Donna, wincing a little from the noisy thrums only he could hear. He was crouched behind a doorway, Donna standing behind him, as they awaited a gaggle of Cybermen to march on by.
"I hope you're right this time," said Donna, her arms crossed. She stared at him for a moment, regarding him closely.
It was completely odd. If their previous conversation in the broom cupboard hadn't just occurred she would still think he were the Doctor. Her best mate in the world.
In fact, for a split second, she did believe him to be the Doctor when he mumbled incoherently under his breath, running a hand through his hair, messing it up while he watched the Cybermen march on by. It was just like how she'd seen the Doctor act plenty of times before when under duress.
But then there was that moment back in the broom closet, when he didn't say his stupid little 'Allons-y' catchphrase. Donna knew the Doctor had never missed an opportunity to say that silly word, and so that reminder caused the small bubble within her hoping this all to be some huge joke to pop in an instant as she came back to the present, where she found Barty staring at her in concern.
"You alright?" he asked.
Though Donna shrugged and nodded her head in response, the truth was that she certainly was not alright at having lost her best friend. She had no idea where the Doctor was and she was quite worried about him. She wondered if he was alright, then chastised herself. Knowing the Doctor, he was either having tea with Dumbledore or had managed to upset a three-headed dog creature right about now—there was no in-between. Then her thoughts turned to Barty. Donna began to think how weird this situation must've been for the wizard, being a fictional character popping into the real world and all.
"Does it feel weird?" she asked him after some time.
"What?" Barty asked, an eyebrow raised.
"You did say you were a human. Does it feel weird being the Doctor? What's it like?" Donna couldn't help but ask, curiosity getting the better of her.
"To be honest, it's kind of surreal," answered Barty.
He peeked around the doorway. Once he saw the last of the metal contraptions rounding the corner, he motioned for Donna to follow him back out.
"You see, I look exactly the same on the outside, but on the inside everything feels…well, different. I have two hearts now. I don't even have lungs, which I'm still not used to, by the way. I feel as though every single one of my senses has been turned up to an eleven, and well…I guess you could say that I'm seeing things through more of a Time Lord lens."
"Wait a minute, you said you look exactly the same. Are you telling me that you looked like the Doctor even before this swap happened? Exactly like him? The movies were right about that?" questioned Donna as they walked cautiously down the hallways.
"Or he looks like me," Barty muttered, a tad aggrieved.
"That's completely mental," Donna said.
"And it doesn't make any sense either," said Barty. "Why would my father swap me with someone who looks exactly like me? If he wanted to turn the Doctor into a Cybermen, what difference would it make if I was in his place or not?"
"How do you know that this Lumic bloke's behind your swap? Besides, I overhead everything after you fell inside his office. It sounded like he thought you were the Doctor, not his son," Donna pointed out.
"Course he wouldn't see me as his son. He hated me."
"But what kind of father would do something like this to his own son?" wondered Donna.
"You clearly haven't met mine," Barty said bitterly.
"You are from another universe. Maybe Lumic only looks like your father sort of like how you and the Doctor look the same," Donna suggested reasonably. "Besides, don't wizards and robots not mix at all? I mean, you lot use floating candles and quills like it's still Shakespearean times."
"Listen—I think I'd know my own father when I see him. I know it's him. He's just trying to trick me," Barty told her gruffly.
He raised a hand and signaled for her to halt. They hid behind another doorway while a couple more Cybermen marched on by.
"Why is he doing all this?" Barty added thoughtfully after a few seconds of pause.
"Maybe to catch the both of you off guard?" Donna suggested with a shrug. Barty was beginning to sound as stubborn as the Doctor, and she decided to humor him if he wasn't going to drop his ridiculous notions any time soon. "Face it, you were awfully confused by everything when we first came here. Scared out of your wits."
"Was not."
"Was too."
"Not."
"You blew chunks in that Cybermen lab."
"Only because I wasn't used to these enhanced Time Lord senses yet," Barty protested indignantly, gripping the edge of the doorframe so hard his knuckles turned white. "I loathe it. I can't stand spending another minute in this stupid body. I am from an ancient and noble pure-blood family. But now I'm nothing more than a….a lowly Muggle," he spat out the word as though it were bile on his tongue.
"You used that word before—'Muggle'. What does that mean?" asked Donna.
"Non-magic folk," Barty answered. He watched the Cybermen march away and continued walking forth.
"When you use that word you make it sound like being non-magical is a bad thing," said Donna, sidling beside him.
"Wouldn't you think it is?" Barty sneered. "Sure you lot have your technology, but with the simple wave of a wand, us wizards can perform much greater feats. We can summon any object to appear in our grasp, unlock doors with a simple charm, even create fire with a flick of our wrist…"
"So what? I can do the same thing with a lighter and some matches," Donna shrugged, not really impressed with the concept of magic as a whole.
Barty rolled his eyes. "I wouldn't expect you to understand. You don't know what it's like being able to perform magic—having some sort of control at your very fingertips. Right now I feel empty without it. Magic has always been there for me when I needed it most, ever since I was a child. And it's…it's gone now that I'm the Doctor," he admitted.
Donna stared at Barty. She guessed it wouldn't really have struck her at first, but if she had magical powers that suddenly vanished all of a sudden from some sort of freakish event, then it would probably hurt her, as well.
"You feel like a part of you is missing, don't you?" she said softly.
"Oh yes!"
Donna was taken aback by Barty's sudden enthusiasm when he leapt up, fist-pumping the air. She wondered if Barty might have cracked due to his missing magic when he grinned at her in a very Doctor-esque way.
"Just around the corner," he told her.
It took Donna a moment to figure out what he meant when she peered around the corner and saw the blue police box of the TARDIS standing at the end of the hallway in all its glory under a bank of flickering fluorescent lights.
"What are we waiting for then?" Donna said in relief. She bounded forward, when Barty held out an arm to press her against the wall.
"Hold on a moment!" he said, flattening himself right next to her.
"Oi! Hands!" Donna complained, batting his arm away.
But Barty was too busy to pay her any heed. He furrowed his eyebrows, absorbed in a sudden thought.
"It's quiet."
"Isn't that a good thing?" Donna asked.
"Constant vigilance," Barty warned her. "Think for a moment—isn't it strange that we have a clear path to the TARDIS? Don't you think someone would be watching over it as our only means of escape?"
"You mean the Cybermen?"
"Or the only other human around here," Barty gritted out. "I wouldn't put it past my father to have cast some sort of Stealth Sensoring Charm to monitor the area. We need to—Oww….my head!" he moaned, suddenly slumping down against the wall.
Barty would have crashed right onto the floor if Donna hadn't caught him by the crook of his arm, trying to help him remain steady. He grasped hold of his head, his eyes screwed up tight.
"What's the matter? Are you okay?" Donna asked him, worried that he was in clear pain.
She had no idea if it was possible for the Doctor's body to be overwhelming Barty in some way. Did switching bodies with an alien cause some sort of sickness she didn't know of? Without thinking, she let go of his arm, wary that he was going to throw up again.
Thud.
Immediately, Barty's legs buckled under him and he collapsed limply on the floor like a sack of potatoes. Donna put a hand over her mouth. 'Ooh…right.'
She was about to bend down and help support him, when Barty suddenly sat bolt upright.
"Oooh, blimey! Nasty headache," Barty winced, massaging the back of his head.
As his eyes shot open, Donna thought she saw something flicker behind them. Barty jumped to his feet, completely steady this time, with a mad grin upon his face.
"Are you alright?" she asked him again in concern.
"Course I'm alright. Never been better! More than better, in fact! Absolutely fantastic! No…wait…I don't say that anymore, do I? Geronimo? Hmmm…that does have a good ring to it. I kind of like the sound of it—geronimo," he sounded out slowly, the word rolling off his tongue with delight. "What do you think, Donna? Geronimo!" he exclaimed cheerfully, hopping up and down like a child hyped up on sugar.
"Are ya flippin' mental?" said Donna, gaping at his sudden energetic spiel.
"Nah, you're right. That's daft. I would never say that," Barty said, rubbing his chin with his thumb and forefinger as he paced back and forth in thought.
"Not that! I'm talking about you saying nonsense about silly words. Have you forgotten that we are currently in the middle of a Cybermen warehouse!?" Donna shouted in beratement. For a split second, she thought she heard a metal clanging sound coming from around the corner of the hallway where the TARDIS stood, and tensed up. But when she took a cautious peek, she spotted nothing amiss, and figured it must have been in her head.
"Ah, right—the Cybermen," Barty stopped his pacing and surveyed the hallway. "No worries about them. They, like all beings, have their weaknesses. Gold could work, but they don't seem to be affected by it as much anymore; it will probably ward them off for only so long like a temporary stunner. I could shut off their emotional inhibitors like last time….Oh! I'm so thick! Why didn't I think of it before? Creating an electromagnetic disturbance would ultimately scramble each and every one of them at their very cores! But I would need something stronger than the sonic to do it. Something that could amplify it—some sort of…come on—think!"
Donna watched warily, her jaw slack, as Barty started pacing again. Barty hit the side of his head with the heel of his palm, saying a bunch of stuff that Donna couldn't quite understand. In fact, if she didn't know any better, then Donna would think that Barty was acting exactly like the Doctor.
"Oh! I remember now!" Barty suddenly exclaimed, halting mid-pace.
"What is it?" Donna wondered eagerly, thinking he came up with an idea of how to escape the Cybermen.
"Molto bene!" Barty suddenly exclaimed, hopping up in excitement again. "That's what I meant to say earlier, Donna! Molto bene! How could I forget? I love the sound of those words—don't you? Molto bene!" he repeated with an exaggerated accent, a mad grin upon his face.
Alright, now Donna knew something was up. Just a moment prior, Barty was dead serious on finding a means of escape from Lumic and his Cybermen, warning about having 'constant vigilance'. Now he was rambling on and on about silly words; words that Donna ever only heard the Doctor say before. And while Donna would have given anything to have her best mate back in this particular moment, she knew that Barty was not him. Something was causing him to act this way. Something was wrong with him.
"Barty, are you sure you're okay?" Donna asked carefully, unsure if the wizard was usually this manic or not.
Barty didn't answer her right away. He frowned, a mystified look coming over his face. He had a faraway look in his eyes and Donna was taken aback when she saw that they had an ancient look of knowledge regarding the vastness of all of time and space similar to that of the Doctor shining behind them.
"Course I'm alright, never been better!" Barty answered after a beat, smiling again. "What are we standing around here for? We're wasting precious time. Allons-y!"
Donna's suspicions were all but confirmed upon hearing those words. "Oh, God….you're acting like him, and you don't even realize it."
"Acting like who?" Barty asked curiously, frowning a little. "Donna, are you okay?"
"I'm sorry, but this is the only way to get you back. Wake up, Houdini!"
"What are you—OW!"
Barty twisted around and screamed a very manly scream. He staggered back towards the opposite wall, clutching his reddened cheek after Donna had unleashed a powerful slap upon him.
"What was that for!?" he stared up at her, looking furious.
"You were acting like the Doctor, ya dumbo!" she told him.
Barty had been busy rubbing away the soreness from his cheek, when he gaped up at her in horror.
"I was?"
"Yes! And you were freaking me out!" Donna told him, arms crossed over her chest as the faint sounds of metal clanging returned.
Barty faltered for a moment, unsure of what to say. He finally responded in an indignant voice, "Did you call me 'Houdini'? The Muggle escape artist? Really?"
Donna rolled her eyes. "I could've called you alot worse, sunshine, be—LOOK OUT!"
Barty barely had any time to process what was going on, when all hell broke loose. He found himself slamming hard against the ground as Donna blindsided him with a tackle. Not a split second later, there was a loud wailing noise that echoed across the hallways. Shaking off the feeling of his ribs being crushed, Barty's eyes widened as he immediately recognized the Caterwauling Charm reverberating across his eardrums.
"YOU DAFT MUGGLE!" he roared at Donna over the blaring magical alarm. "Didn't I just warn you about having constant vigilance!?"
Donna, who was still pressed on top of him in protection, snapped back, "A little 'thank you' would be nice for saving your life just now, ya git!"
"Get off me!" Barty shouted, pushing himself out from underneath her with a groan, completely livid. "If I still had my magic, I swear, I'd—"
But as he sat up, getting to one knee, Barty floundered when he heard the familiar tune of the telltale metallic clanking sounds of the Cybermen. Slowly looking up, he found that Donna was right—two Cybermen were standing where he had been seconds before. The lights overhead continued its flickering, painting eerie shadows over their metallic faces as the alarm continued to blare. They both stood completely unmoving, their hollow voids of eye sockets reflecting nothing but coldness within them. Although Barty was fearful of their presence, something didn't quite add up about them.
"That's odd," he muttered.
"What? Did you finally realize how much of a flippin' idiot you are?" Donna snided, though she sounded quite shaken.
"No, not that," Barty said absentmindedly, too preoccupied with a sudden thought churning inside his mind to pay any heed to her insult. "It's just…if the Cybermen wanted to 'upgrade' us into one of them so badly, then why don't they get on with it? Why are they just standing there?" he wondered aloud as he gazed up at the metallic beings, who still weren't reacting to them in the slightest.
"I don't know. Maybe their batteries ran out or something?" Donna shook her head anxiously.
"They're Cybermen, they don't have batteries," Barty berated with impatience. "But that's the thing. If they were programmed to capture, then why are they…Oh!" he exclaimed, the gears in his head turning as realization struck him like a sudden Bludger knocking him off his broomstick. He threw his head back, cackling with glee.
Donna stared at him, thinking he'd lost it. "Have you gone mad!? Oh, great! I knew you were mental," she lamented in despair. Of all the wizards from Harry Potter to get saddled with, it had to be one of the mad ones? And if that wasn't enough to deal with, to her surprise, Barty began speaking to the bloody robots!
"Hello there!" he casually greeted the Cybermen with a wave.
"What are you doing!?" Donna hissed fearfully.
"Getting answers," Barty responded curtly as he turned to her. When he was about to stand up, Donna grabbed his arm, yanking him to sit back down on the pristine, white tiled floor.
"Hello—Earth to Wizard Boy! If those Cybermen catch you, then they're going to turn you into one of them! Besides, this is the Doctor's body you're risking. And I am not going to let you do something stupid to harm it while he's gone," Donna informed him. If Barty dared to put himself in harm's way while he was in the Doctor's body, then she was going to kill him.
"He wouldn't dare let them harm me," Barty said in a low voice that Donna could barely hear.
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"Don't you get it, Donna? I wasn't thinking about it before with everything going on, but—No. Of course you don't. You wouldn't understand," Barty said, staring at the Cybermen.
"Understand what?" Donna wanted to know.
Barty waved a dismissive hand. "Nothing. Just—don't worry. I'm not going to do anything stupid. I'm just going to do what I do best."
"What's that?"
"Put on a show."
"What? This isn't some magic act, Houdini. We're in the middle of a death trap!" Donna hissed.
"A magic act! That sounds like a splendid idea, don't you think?" Barty asked the Cybermen in a loud voice to be heard over the Caterwauling Charm.
"What do you think you're doing!?" Donna questioned, completely baffled by his actions.
"And here is my plucky assistant, willing to volunteer for my first trick!" Barty exclaimed as he stood up, grinning.
"'Plucky'? Did you just call me 'plucky'?" Donna demanded to know, as she, too, pushed herself to her feet.
"Don't mind her," Barty told the Cybermen. "She's impossible."
"I'll give you 'impossible' in a minute," Donna retorted, glaring at the wizard, when he suddenly grabbed hold of her. "What the—? Oi! Let me go!" she yelled as he led her by the crook of her arm a little ways around the corner of the hallway. "Just what do you think you're doing?" she wanted to know, shoving Barty's arm away from her right as they came to a stop in front of the girl's bathroom.
"I told you, I needed a volunteer for my disappearing trick—a ginger with a great, big gob!" Barty grinned mischievously as he shoved Donna inside the door and used the sonic to lock it shut. "How's that for 'Houdini'?" he taunted triumphantly, finally ridding himself of the incessant ginger Muggle.
Ignoring Donna's vicious swears, Barty turned away from the door and took a deep breath before he turned the corner and walked cautiously back towards the Cybermen. They hadn't budged an inch, it appeared. Barty shrugged, and stood with his hands folded behind his back, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet with a mad grin upon his face.
"So, what did you two think? Pretty impressive for a man without magic, eh?" he nonchalantly asked the Cybermen, who stared at him blankly. "Oh, come on. You two aren't impressed by that? Not even a little?"
"You shall surrender or you will be deleted," one of the Cybermen finally responded.
Barty tugged at his ear as he circled around the Cybermen. "Deleted? Oh, I don't think that's right. What benefit does that give you? One less body to deal with around here, I suppose. Or not. I'll just regenerate anyways. You know that."
"You shall surrender or you will be deleted," the second Cybermen repeated.
"There you go saying that word again. You can threaten me as much as you'd like, but—oh, alright. I will give you the benefit of the doubt if it makes you happy. Here," Barty spread his arms out wide, calling their bluff. "You want to delete me so bad, then go ahead. Get on with it. And do it quickly, please, I've got an appointment for tea at four."
The two Cybermen stared back blankly at Barty, unmoving.
"What's the matter? Why don't you delete me already?" Barty asked, frowning as he slowly lowered his arms. When the Cybermen didn't respond, he shouted at them. "I asked you a question!"
"Though you are impertinent, you are not deemed a threat."
"Ooh, so you will only 'delete' threats? What—me being the Doctor isn't enough of one for you? You know who I am—the Oncoming Storm. Destroyer of Worlds. Your old enemy. Isn't that enough of a threat for you?"
"You are not deemed a threat. Surrender or—"
The second Cyberman didn't have a chance to finish its sentence. One moment Barty dug into his coat pocket; the next, he plunged the sonic screwdriver right into the Cyberman's breastplate. The metallic being shrieked, sparks emitting from it as the sonic damaged it from the inside out. Barty took delight in this action, as though all his pent-up aggression was being released upon this lone Cyberman.
"Not a 'threat', am I? How's this for a 'threat'! Is this enough of a 'threat' for you!" Barty yelled furiously at the other Cyberman over the whirs of the sonic.
After a good minute, Barty finally ripped the sonic out of the Cyberman and it toppled with a crash onto the floor. He then turned to its friend, his chest heaving up and down, breathing hard in his fury.
"Go ahead! Delete me! I am more than impertinent—I'm a threat to you! Can't you see that? Delete me already you stupid robot! I'm a threat! Delete me! Do it! Dele—"
There was a bang and a crack. When Barty found himself crumpled against the TARDIS doors with a shimmering Shield Charm cast around him, he laughed madly. Just as guessed, Lumic had Apparated just in time before the Cyberman could do anything lethal to him.
"Father! You've finally come out from your hiding spot. Is it my turn to hide now? Or shall I seek again? Cause I'm quite a good Seeker you know," Barty said lightly, flashing a wry smile as he looked up at Lumic.
"You think you're so clever, don't you, boy? Risking your own life in order to summon me here?" Lumic told him, clearly not amused by his antics as he lifted his wand and silenced the Caterwauling Charm.
"Last I checked, you promised mother to keep me safe all those years ago," Barty said in a calm voice, though there was an edge to it. "Tell me—how is switching my body with an alien adhering to that request?"
"No harm has come to you, has it?" countered Lumic, leveling his wand at Barty as he took a step forward. "Besides, you should be grateful that I deliberately picked out this form of the Doctor to switch you with. I could have just as easily chosen any of the others and not given you the courtesy of residing in a familiar body."
Barty could feel the heat rising in his face. He tried to walk forward to Lumic, but the Shield Charm kept him locked in the area by the TARDIS and he stumbled back.
"Grateful! Grateful!? You expect me to be grateful for taking away my magic? For turning me into a bloody alien!?" he shouted, grabbing hold of the TARDIS to steady himself. As soon as his hand touched the blue doors of the ship, another electric spark coursed through him, and he glared at it. "Ouch! Would you quit doing that!?"
"You unthankful brat," Lumic sneered. "I saved your life from a fate worse than death in the Dementor's Kiss, and this is how you thank me?"
"You turned me into a freak!" Barty yelled.
"Oi! This 'freak' has feelings you know!"
Barty was taken aback when he heard himself speak but his lips didn't move. As he stared over Lumic's shoulder, his eyes went wide when he spotted his doppelganger standing nonchalantly at the other end of the hallway, hands jammed inside his pockets.
"Did you miss me?" the Doctor asked with a wide smile.