Artie found a cave, which they all took shelter in, fortunately, before the rain poured down. Artie sat on a rock, sighing, and putting his head in his hands. Puss rolled into a corner and started licking himself. Donkey sat next to Shrek, who sat on the opposite side of Artie.

"This isn't going to work," Artie mumbled. "Charming is out there-"

"Not in this storm, he isn't," Donkey added.

"-with Jiminy, our only sure hope of finding Excalibur, and it's raining, Oberon and Titania are still prisoners, and Pixie Hollow is in shambles, and I don't even know what 'my true purpose' is to get Excalibur!"

"Artie, I'm sure you'll figure something out," Shrek said.

"That's the problem!" Artie cried. "I-I can't figure anything out! I don't know why I want Excalibur! I can't figure out my real reason to be king!"

"I thought you had this figured out already!" Shrek said. "When you stopped Charming the first time!"

"I thought I did, but it doesn't seem to be enough!" Artie yelled. "I just...I can't do this." He hugged his knees and buried his head in his arms. "Is this about the rats?" Shrek asked.

"R.A.T.S.," Artie corrected. "And no, it's not about them. Although, I can't stop wondering if Charming is working with them, or even leading them."

"Charming? Leading them?" Shrek said. "Please. He's gonna need more brains for that."

"Maybe he's more cunning that you think, Shrek," Artie said.

"Okay, fine," Shrek said. "Even if he is involved with the rats-"

"R.A.T.S.," Artie corrected.

"Whatever," Shrek said. "Even if he is with them, I don't think they'll want Excalibur, at least, not all of them."

"Sure," Artie grumbled.

"Is this about earlier?" Shrek asked.

"No," Artie said, turning his head away from him. Shrek sighed. "Sheesh, teenagers are hard."

"I heard that," Artie mumbled.

"The storm's not letting up," Puss said. "I think we're going to be here all night."

"Great," Artie said.

"Hey, what's wrong with you?" Shrek asked.

"Nothing, okay?" Artie said, removing his head.

"It's because I wouldn't let you be the distraction, isn't it?" Shrek yelled.

"No!" Artie cried, standing. "Yes! Maybe! I don't know!"

"What do you mean you 'don't know?'" Shrek asked. "How can you not know?"

"I don't know!" Artie yelled. Donkey and Puss looked back and forth at whoever yelled. "Do you even want to be king?" Shrek cried.

"Yes! No! I don't know!" Artie snapped. "I don't know, okay?" Artie turned around. "Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe...maybe I'm not fit to be king of Far Far Away...or...anyplace. Maybe I should just go back to the school where no one cared about me."

"Artie," Donkey said.

"You can't do that!" Shrek cried. "People are counting on you!"

"Maybe I don't want them to count on me!" Artie said, turning back around. "Maybe...maybe I want things to be back as they used to be! Where no one depended on me!"

"When people wanted me to eat you?" Shrek asked.

"At least I didn't have to worry about anything!" Artie said. "Maybe this kingly responsibility is too much for me! Maybe you should've taken it!"

"Me?" Shrek cried. "An ogre for a king? I don't think so!"

"Well, you sure do seem to want it!" Artie said.

"I don't want it!" Shrek cried.

"And neither do I!" Artie said. Donkey's ears went down from the fighting. "I'm going to go find another cave." Artie turned to the cave mouth and left, plucking off a large leaf from a nearby tree, to use an umbrella. "Artie, wait!" Puss called. He ran after him until one drop of water from the top of the cave, screeched, then jumped back into the cave. "Artie!" Donkey cried. He stopped at the mouth of the cave as well. Artie ran.

Author's Note

Don't worry, the chapters will get longer.