The ground felt a lot harder than I remember it being just moments ago. Every clump of dirt was amplified to an uncomfortable degree. I sat up and brought my hand to where it was burning.

As soon as it made contact, I hissed and jerked my hand away. My skin was sensitive, way too sensitive. I looked down at the fingers that had touched it. They were coated in dark red, the same Lex had on her claws. It had an almost watery consistency and was sticky between my fingers. Curious, I brought one finger to my mouth and tasted the tip, the same metal taste as before. I spat it out quickly, the saliva cloudy with red.

The burning continued. It had lessened, but I couldn't shake it for the life of me. What was it? Foreign was one way to describe it, but hostile was far better. It felt like my body itself was almost fighting against me, making me feel all those terrible things.

You deserve this.

I sighed. Maybe I did deserve that. But I didn't want to think about it anymore. I couldn't. Merely the hint of everything that had happened just a few minutes prior was enough to get tears in the corners of my eyes. I didn't want to cry again.

Carefully, I stood up. My head swam at the movement, making me dizzy. I held myself there for a moment, hoping to ease the feeling. I took a shaky step and staggered forward. I barely had time to put my arms out as I fell to the ground. My eyes saw double, triple, quad– My stomach lurched, the light breakfast I had was attempting an escape. I closed my mouth and desperately swallowed to keep it down.

Arceus, what the hell was wrong with me?

…Well, aside from everything else.

I stood up again. The dizziness remained, but I felt more stable. I put a hand to my forehead, feeling the sweat dripping down. It was… hot? There was no way that was normal. Whatever Lex did–

No. Don't think about that.

Whatever the burning was, it was having some strange effects. I touched my cheek again, and the skin around it seemed tougher, but also oddly firm. Not only that, it seemed to have almost swollen a bit.

A drop of rain landed on my head, making me flinch. I looked up to see the clouds above releasing their second bout of rain in two days. It was just sprinkling now, but if I knew this area's weather well enough, it would become torrential sooner rather than later.

More drops came down, some landing on my cheek. Even stranger, that seemed to soothe the burning. Not to any meaningful extent, though it made me stop and soak it in for a few seconds.

But I couldn't stay. I needed to get back to my house and… figure out what to do next.

I started walking back.

The sliding doors were sticky but gave with a little force. I stepped inside, tracking mud and water in with my shoes. I sighed, finally getting reprieve from the rain.

My prediction was accurate, sure enough. The rain was whipped up in a downpour, making it seem like I was getting drenched with a hose every passing second. My hair was sopping wet and dripped on the floor as I took off my shoes and socks. Of course, the dripping was a group effort, with my shirt and pants generously contributing.

The burning hadn't ceased, but it had dampened slightly. I kept going back and touching it every so often, just to remind myself that it was real and that I was feeling it. And without fail, every touch sparked the burning to go hotter for a moment, then back to its base state.

A thought occurred to me as I walked across my house, beelining for the stairs. What if the burning never left? What if this was permanent, that I would just have to deal with it?

You won't have to deal with it ever again.

I stopped and shook my head. It wasn't necessarily wrong, per se, but I didn't want to think about… that. Hell, I didn't want to think about anything at the moment. I felt if I stayed on one topic long enough, there would be no turning away from it.

I reached the stairs and started walking up them, leaving wet footprints on each one. As I went up, I paused and saw the pictures that had fallen when I took my tumble down. It was so many years ago, and the glass in the frames was still cracked. Mom always did have a thing for keeping stuff like that, no matter the condition they got in. 'It adds value to it' she would say. I never really understood the sentiment, especially when the memory attached to the cracked glass wasn't one I held fondly.

The picture I stopped at was of me in the backyard, playing with my toy cars. I couldn't have been older than three, at most four. For some reason, I was able to remember that time well. Maybe because those were some of the last years of my life where I was blissfully unaware of what I really was.

Freak.

Or maybe it was because just a few days later, I would end up meeting Lex and Kyle when–

Stop. No. Stop.

I closed my eyes and turned away, continuing up the stairs. It was hard to keep my mind off it. Any train of thought that ran through my head inevitably passed memories with them.

I reached the top of the stairs and turned to the bathroom. I didn't want to go back to my bedroom, not yet at least. The burning, while dulled, was still present. I wanted… No, I needed to put a face to this anomaly. And the bathroom was pretty much the only room in the house with a mirror.

Despite the size of the house, the bathroom was small. It had the basic accommodations of a toilet, sink, and bathtub, but nothing more. It was also about as cramped as could be. I walked inside, closed the door, and turned to the mirror above the sink.

I felt my heart skip two beats.

My entire right cheek was covered in a dark red, nearly brown material. Where the burning was most prevalent, the skin was raised and swollen. The rest of my face looked somewhat normal, if not for the slightly pale tone it had taken on. My mouth was agape as I reached and touched the strange material on my face, surprised at its flakiness.

Dumbstruck by my appearance, I barely registered turning on the cold water and running my hand under it. I carefully rubbed the water against my face, watching as the material flaked off with just a little force. I eased my rubbing upwards, weary of the burning, and took off more material. As I went over the burning, it lit up briefly, then a small amount of relief set in.

There it was. The burn. Three jagged lines dragged down my cheek, angled towards my nose. They were shiny and pink, dotted with pinpricks of red, some of which seemed to grow. When one got big enough, it dripped down my face and into the sink basin.

All of a sudden, everything made sense.

The red liquid that was dripping from the burn, that was blood; I was bleeding. And the burn itself? That was pain.

I was feeling pain.

My breath quickened. This… This couldn't have been right. My skin was supposed to be rock solid, completely impenetrable, and shouldn't be able to feel this burning, this pain. I… I had a wound. Lex hit me with her claws and gave me a wound. And… and…

I was mesmerized by my face in the mirror, if only for the fact that it was my blood dripping from me. Half of it was clean and the other half wounded. It was a bizarre sight, and it almost felt like I was looking inside myself.

A half-breed. Half-human, half-pokemon. Though, I couldn't figure out which side meant what. A regular human face with no blemishes; it was a normal life, or it showed how hard it was to hurt a steel type. And then the injured side; showing how all humans could be hurt, and the face of a pokemon ravaged by battle. Were they just interchangeable?

Did it even matter?

No. It doesn't matter.

You are still the sum of your parts.

A freak.

Why would it ever matter?

Maybe that was right… and maybe I could do something about it. There was another reason I went up to the bathroom.

I tore my eyes away from the mirror and pulled open the drawer from under the sink. Amongst the few pieces of makeup equipment, spare packaged razor blades, and a half-empty antacid container, was a small orange prescription bottle. I pulled it out and looked over it.

In big bold letters, it spelled out, 'VICODIN. TAKE 1-2 TABLETS EVERY 4-6 HOURS.' Mom had gotten it after she had torn her ACL a few years back and always took one if it happened to flare back up.

I remembered seeing them a few times when I went into the bathroom. It was always a passing glance, barely a moment of thought. It wasn't this longing stare at them like I was doing now.

It's almost done.

I twisted off the cap and shook the container, realizing how badly my hands were trembling. Three white oblong pills tumbled out and landed in my open palm.

You'll make everyone happy.

No… there needed to be more than just that. Three wasn't nearly enough. With my hands still shaking, I tipped the bottle until my hand was full of the pills, each one engraved with the word 'Vicodin'. I raised them up to my face.

You'll make yourself happy.

My hand was shaking so much that a few pills slipped out of the grip and fell to the floor. This… I wanted this. I came up here because I wanted this. Because nothing was worth the effort anymore. I clenched my hand tight, but it didn't stop the shaking.

No one will miss you.

I blinked. My eyes drifted back over to the mirror. The pale tone of my skin was gone, replaced by a healthier shade, though more reddened around the eyes, of which tears beaded on the edges. It wasn't just my hands that were shaking, I could see my lip quiver every time I sucked in a breath. I was a mess. Did… Did I want this?

No one will miss you.

But that wasn't true. Lex and Kyle… they would miss me. They hurt me and lied to me, but Lex said it herself, they cared.

They hurt you.

You mean nothing to them.

No. That wasn't true either. I meant something to them. I knew that. We were friends. They came to check on me every single morning that I was here and always tried to help.

They thought they could get away with hurting you.

They messed up, there was no denying that. Maybe they didn't think everything through, but they didn't want to hurt me. They had never done it before, why would they start now?

They don't care.

That was a damn lie. I knew that wasn't true.

Worthless–

Shut up.

You're just a fr–

Be quiet.

They cared. Lex and Kyle really did care. They messed up, but they wanted to get me better. And… they weren't the only ones that cared either. Mom. She was always there, always supportive, always loving no matter what happened and… and…

I looked down to my handful of pills.

Oh Arceus. What was I doing? Was I crazy? To think I even entertained the thought of… What the fuck.

I grabbed the prescription bottle again and carefully funneled the pills back inside. As soon as the last pill was in and I put the lid back on, I collapsed on the ground.

It was so close. Just a few more seconds and that would have been it, no going back. And what then? I would drift off, never opening my eyes ever again. Then, when Mom came back, she would find me and… and… What the fuck was I thinking? I couldn't believe myself.

Or… if it wasn't Mom, Lex and Kyle would have found out first. How could I even think of doing that to them? Despite everything that happened, I couldn't bear the thought of them coming across me if I decided to go through with what I thought I wanted.

They were my friends. And I pushed them away. I hurt them. Arceus, I pushed Kyle and broke his wand. What kind of friend would do that?

What they did was wrong, I knew that. At the very least, they should have asked me. But past everything, that break in monotony gave way to some of the best time I've had in the last few weeks. Maybe the bar was low, but still. They meant well, and I should've stopped for a second and just let them talk.

I stood up from the ground and sighed. There was an apology I needed to give, maybe even more than that. Whatever needed to be done, I would do it. I just needed to–

A steady series of thumps rang out, signaling someone coming up the stairs. If my guess was right, that was Lex. I heard a knock on my bedroom door, somewhat muffled from the closed bathroom door.

"James? Can we talk? Face to face, I mean," I heard her say. Her tone sounded shaky, a far cry from what she was usually like.

I put my hand on the doorknob but froze as I went to turn it. Just beyond the door, I heard the smallest amount of sniffling. It was something rare: Lex was crying.

"James, please open the door. I'm so, so, sorry about slashing you in the face, I didn't… It never happened before so… I'm sorry." Her shakiness was a lot more pronounced now.

I put my hand to the wound, tensing at the stinging feeling it gave. It was almost lost on me that Lex was the one who did it.

Suddenly, she knocked hard on my door. "Please, James! I need to know if you're going to- to do anything… Just… Just open the door, please. If you don't want me to be your friend anymore, that's… that's okay, I understand."

I opened the door.

Lex was standing in front of my bedroom door, her head leaning against it. She turned at the noise and I saw her face. Her eyes were wide with surprise, and the fur just below was wet from tears. She was trembling, her claws twitching at her sides as she took a step towards me.

"James…?"

"Lex…" I was surprised by how shaky my voice sounded. I stepped out of the bathroom, towards her. The tears came out of nowhere and I knelt to get on her level.

She rushed forward and wrapped her paws around me tight. I hugged her back the same. The tears weren't stopping, but I didn't care. It seemed Lex was having the same problem as me, if it could even be called a problem.

We held each other on the ground for what felt like forever. Neither of us spoke. Neither of us had to. The only sounds that came from us were the light sounds of crying, and even those eventually faded into silence.

She pulled back and looked up at me. Her face was a mess of distraught and relief, and I couldn't imagine mine looked much better. I went to speak, but she beat me to it.

"You suck! You really suck, scaring me like that! And I suck too. I suck so much and… and…" she yelled.

"I know. I'm sorry for all those things I said back there. That wasn't right of me," I said.

She shook her head. "You shouldn't be the one apologizing… idiot."

"Doesn't mean I don't want to."

"You're… not going to do anything, right?" she said, quickly flicking away a stray tear. "You won't do something stupid?"

I shook my head. "No, I won't. I'm not going anywhere. I don't want to go anywhere."

"Good because you better not."

Lex hugged me tight again, and I reciprocated. It was hardly the first time we had ever hugged, but it was still so incredible to feel. Lex was here. She was hugging me, and it was because she cared about me. Lex cared about me.

Look how much you mean to her.

The emotions washed over me like a wave. My whole body was shaking as my throat constricted and a sob broke free, setting off a cascade of other sobs. Nothing could stop it, and I didn't try to. Lex tightened her hold on me, and I tried my best to do the same. Even my arms felt weak at that moment.

She still had her arms around me when she pulled back and looked up. I must've looked destroyed from the way concern grew in her eyes.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

I chuckled and sniffled. "Yes? No? I don't… I don't know. Everything is a mess and… I'm just glad you're here."

"I wouldn't be anywhere else."

"Heh… I know that. I don't know why I ever thought you wouldn't be… Arceus, why was I so stupid?" I put a hand to my face and tried to wipe any remaining tears.

"You've always been a little stupid, come on. And a bit of a dick," she said, giving her trademark toothy grin.

"That's fair, but you know…" I smiled, "...it takes one to know one."

We both laughed, the sheer weight of the moment finally lifting off my shoulders. It wasn't entirely out of mind, but I didn't let it get to me. All that mattered was that both of us were there, and that we were happy.

I backed away from the hug and Lex did the same. "Hey, I wanted to talk about—"

"It was my idea," she blurted out, losing her smile. "I… came up with the whole thing and dragged Kyle in with me. Don't be mad at him."

"I'm not. Well, I was, but I don't want to stay like that. You guys did mess up, but I'm not exactly clean myself. It's better if we all get past this before uh…" I rubbed the three cuts on my face. "We get another of these situations."

She raised her paw up and tapped the area just below my wound. "Got you pretty good there, huh? Sorry."

"It's not that bad. I already dealt with the worst of it and plus… I did kinda deserve it," I said, shrugging.

"You're right, you did. Okay, apology retracted, I should've hit you harder."

I snorted and patted her on the head. "Alright, Lex. Maybe I'll just get you back for it."

"Hah, in your dreams."

I snickered, but my thoughts were lingering on what I said. I did deserve it, and the reason why I did was seemingly absent.

"Where's Kyle?" I asked.

Lex's grin disappeared almost instantly. She looked away and bit her lip.

Shit.

"Lex, where's–"

"He's… still outside."

"Outside?" An alarm sounded in my head. "It's still raining out there, and he didn't come in?"

She looked back at me. "He didn't want to come in. He said he didn't want to bother you anymore."

I felt a twinge in my heart. "Lex! You know what happens when he stays out in the rain!"

"You think I wasn't trying to pull him along?! He's… James, he's crushed. I know everything that happened back there was a lot of emotion, but it hurt him. Bad."

I looked down and closed my eyes. That was right. I did hurt him. In the heat of the moment, I let everything out and he was caught in the crossfire.

I nodded. "Where is he?"

"He's just in the yard, I don't think he would've moved."

At the end of her words, I stood up. Lex came up with me and we both walked over to the stairs.

It was strange staring down at them, almost like I wasn't supposed to. Then again, I guess I had thought I would never see them again. A shiver ran up my spine.

Lex nudged my side. "You good?"

"Yeah, I'm good."

I started walking down the stairs.

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Peace!

-Minusbomb