Hunter flew in the direction Luz pointed until the BATTs camp appeared in his field of vision; at that point he changed direction and landed in a nearby clearing. "What are you doing!? Our target is over there!" Luz exclaimed angrily, hitting him on the head.
Hunter didn't bat an eyelid, but he stared at her with his piercing magenta eyes. He was used to receiving much stronger blows, but that didn't mean a punch thrown with a solid wooden hand couldn't hurt him, even if he was trying not to show it. "I forgive you only because you're distraught and you're not thinking right. Tell me, if you were a group of rebels masquerading as normal bards, would you sleep at night without at least one sentry to monitor the situation?" he told her. "And what is the aforementioned sentry more likely to see, two kids crawling on the ground hiding using branches and leaves for cover, or the red orb of my staff and my cloak gleaming in the moonlight as I'm flying in a sky totally empty?"
Luz opened her mouth, but then she quickly closed it again. Her body was shaking and she was clearly itching to go get the lamp, but she knew her friend was right. "O-Okay... but let's hurry, please"
Hunter couldn't remember ever seeing Luz so anxious. He felt pretty bad for her. He bit his tongue for a moment, unsure of what to do, and then he said: "Listen to me... to hell with the initial plan, you are not in the right condition to come with me. Stay here, I'll go get the lamp. Just tell me which tent is it in, I'll be back in less than ten minutes"
"NO!" Luz almost screamed, and instinctively she put a hand over her mouth when she realized it; luckily no one had heard her. "Hunter... I don't know how much time remains before Eda completely transforms into the Owl Beast... I have to make my wish as soon as possible!" she exclaimed in fits of sobs. "I can't... I can't wait any longer! I have to..."
Without warning Hunter grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her over, and then he jabbed her with two fingers at the base of the neck; Luz let out a small cry of pain, but then felt her entire wooden body relax. Hunter hit her in a few other places, and in some cases even held down where he hit; within seconds, Luz felt calmer. "T-Thank you. How did you..."
"Nerve stimulation to decrease the flow of sugars and enzymes into the right side of the brain and channel all the energy into the left side" Hunter replied finally letting her go.
Luz was speechless. "What?"
Hunter let out an annoyed huff. "To put it simply, I made sure that the area of your brain that controls emotions received less energy, while the area that controls rationality received more. I didn't know if it would work since you have a wooden body, but since you breathe and have a heartbeat I was pretty sure that you had organs very similar to those of normal humans, and it turns out I was right" he explained rapidly. "Can you think clearly now?"
Despite that explanation, Luz still didn't understand much, but she pretended that what Hunter had said made sense and she concentrated on his question: "Yes... I think so". She let out a deep sigh, then she said: "Hunter… you see what's happening to Eda. I… I need to have that lamp right now and sever any connection between me and her immediately. I don't care if what I'm doing is stupid and selfish... I... I can't lose Eda too... not again..."
Hunter looked at her with a strange mixture of pity and conflict in his eyes. He began to think that perhaps he had made a gigantic mistake: he should have refused Luz's request and gone and stolen the lamp on his own even if it was more difficult. He shouldn't have involved her, too many people were getting hurt over this, and while in the past Hunter would have simply ignored it, he was finding it really hard to do so now. Flapjack flew to his shoulder and chirped something in his ear; the boy bit his lip, then he closed his eyes as if he were giving up and said: "Luz... I know this is a hard time, and that you really want that lamp... but maybe we should both take a step back. If we give up and I take you home now, your fairy will return to normal, at least from what I understand. It's not too late..."
"I told you no!" Luz replied with some stubbornness in her voice. "It's not just for Eda that I'm doing this, Hunter! I'm doing this for me! I... I need to become a real girl! I'm tired of not being in control of my life!"
Hunter didn't know exactly how to act in this situation, and he looked at Flapjack as if looking for instructions; he chirped something to him, and following his instructions he placed a hand on the puppet's shoulder. "Luz, I don't know if you'll believe it... but I know very well what it means to not feel in control of your own choices and to live in what seems like a terrible cage to you. If I were in your place and I had an opportunity, I too wouldn't hesitate to seize it". "Which I'm actually trying to do" he thought in his head, since that was the main reason why he was there helping her to steal the lamp. "But... if there's one thing I've learned in these months, it's that Eda cares about you a lot. She loves you, more than you or I could ever imagine. So, if she tells you that this isn't the right way... maybe you should at least try to listen to her reasons... maybe, for once, it's time to obey her..."
"I don't want!" Luz exclaimed angrily. "You don't understand, Hunter! Don't say you know what I'm feeling, because you don't! That lamp could be my only chance to finally free myself from this damned wooden body! Do you have any idea what it means to feel imprisoned inside this? To know that everything around you will grow up and grow old, and all your friends will live and get married and have children and grandchildren, while you will always be stuck in the body of a puppet that looks like a fourteen-year-old girl, with never any chance of changing, always living a half life and never a complete one? Knowing that you will be forced to see everything around you fade and die one day, while you will always be there, unchanged in your young body, always alone and with nothing to do but cry on the graves of those you loved, unable to hope for anything other than a lethal disease striking you or until you have the courage to throw yourself off a bridge? Knowing that within thirty years those who are now your peers will be like your parents and in sixty like your grandparents, while you will always be the same? I can't take it anymore, Hunter! Being a puppet is horrible! All those wonderful gifts that you real people take for granted are closed to me! I want to be a real girl! I tried in every way, yet I never achieved anything! How long will it take me to become one on my own? One year, ten years, one hundred years, one thousand years? What will I have left when I can finally breathe with real lungs? I can't... I can't..."
The words died in her throat; she couldn't finish the sentence. The puppet staggered as if she were about to fall to her knees, and she hugged her shoulders as if she were very cold. "The knowledge that you are not real... that you are nothing but a miserable fake... a pathetic imitation of life that can never be compared to real life, and that will never receive its gifts... nothing more than a puppet who started breathing by pure chance and only on the whim of a fairy... it's terrible. I don't want to be this anymore, I don't want to be... fake anymore. I want to be real! Look around you!" and she raised her hands as if to indicate everything around them. "The trees, the grass, the flowers, the insects, even the worms... everything here is real, everything is so beautiful, wonderful and full of life, and I... and I am not part of it. I can only watch and cry, and think that I could be like them, I should be like them... but I'm not. In this miraculous world where everything can have a full life, I alone am not real... I am just a fake"
Her body was now shaking visibly and tears were streaming down her cheeks; despite what Hunter had done shortly before, that brain stimulation that she hadn't understood the meaning of, she was still having a lot of difficulty maintaining lucidity. When she spoke again, her tone had become practically a plea: "Please, Hunter... I will never ask you for anything again, and I am willing to pay any price you want... but help me get that lamp! Let me become a real girl!"
Hunter was speechless; his expression clearly showed how much pity he felt for the puppet at that moment. He had never thought that Luz would feel so uncomfortable... she had always seemed so sunny, so smiling, so happy. He didn't think a person like her could feel so much desperation. Should he have satisfied her? He wasn't convinced at all; something inside his mind told him that it was better for him to resist Luz's request, no matter how much it pained him. He looked at Flapjack, who chirped and shook his head 'no' at him, as if telling him to persist, to convince Luz to do the right thing and come back; even the Palisman evidently believed that using the lamp was not the right method, and he didn't want that Luz made such a mistake, and was hoping Hunter would stop her.
But Hunter didn't know how: he wasn't good at talking to people. He was a soldier, all he knew how to do was fight. He knew how to cut off a head, disarm an opponent, plan a strategy to end the battle quickly. That was all he knew. He had no idea how he could console someone. He wasn't even sure what gesture of affection was necessary for that circumstance: a pat on the shoulder, a hug, a word of comfort? He didn't know. That wasn't his role. His role was just to fight and kill, nothing else.
Yet, now there was only him there; he had no one else he could call on, or who could talk to Luz for him. Only he could decide what to do, and he had to decide quickly. In the end, he simply tried to follow the example that the puppet had involuntarily given him: since she had completely expressed her emotions, he tried to do the same with his at least partially. "Luz..." he just murmured. "You're right, I can't understand what you feel. But... I experienced a very similar situation. A situation in which I was convinced that I could never live like others, that I could never find someone who loved me, or even just willing to share a moment of his life with me... and in a way, even I thought I would never be able to grow up and grow old". "Because I would have died sooner" he added in his mind. "And unfortunately, that's still my life. These are the hands of a hunter, of a soldier, of an assassin. Even if you're used to seeing me as a boy like all the others... that's not me. That's just the part of me that wants to take a break from its usual work right now. But you met the real me, there when I fought against the greater basilisk... you saw how easy it is for me to kill and how little I care about how my actions affect others. I don't have many certainties, but of this I am absolutely sure: I will die alone and with a weapon in my hand, a good monster hunter until the last moment that I breathe, and I won't have anyone crying at my grave, if I ever have one. Family, children, grandchildren... these are things I will never have. Until recently, I took for granted that I could never not even having a friend. That kind of happiness... is closed to me. You are not alone in this miraculous and wonderful world, because I too, while all the others have a life worthy of this name, don't have one. I too... have just a fake life. I am just the instrument of death of someone else". He clenched his hands nervously. "So no, I don't know what it means to be imprisoned in a wooden body... but I know what it means to hate yourself and your life"
Luz remained silent to listen to him, and her furious, determined and worried expression had given way to a sad and compassionate one. Her eyes had widened and her mouth remained half open. "Hunter, I… I didn't think you saw yourself like this" she whispered.
Hunter shook his head. "It's not a matter of how I see myself... it's a matter of what I am. And what I am is something that no magic, no spell, no potion in this world can ever change. Even if by miracle I'll be able to quit my current job, I will always remain a mercenary. I will always be someone who will kill for someone else, because that is the only thing I know how to do. I have been trained for this ever since I was able to hold something in my hand. My entire body is studied and shaped just for this reason, every muscle, every fiber, every nerve. In a way... just like you, I was built by someone. So... be grateful that at least you were built by someone who loves you". Hunter looked Luz straight in the eyes, and reflected himself in the brown irises of the puppet; he paused briefly, and then he said: "Luz, I have never received the love of a parent or even a guardian, but I know very well what its total absence means. So believe me when I tell you that Eda, that loves you so much, wouldn't try to stop you like that if using that lamp wasn't a totally wrong method. Luz, your dream of becoming a real girl is admirable, and I understand why you want it so badly... but now is the time to stop and think. Are you really willing to give up all the trust that your fairy places in you for something that you're not even sure will give you what you really want?"
Luz bit her lip and looked down at her shoes, feeling a clawed hand grab her chest. Some tears formed in her eyes, and for a moment the image of the magic lamp and the strong desire to have it reappeared in her mind... but then Eda's face and the look she had given her reappeared too, and immediately the her heart became heavy like a cannon ball. "Okay... let's go home" she finally whispered, and every word that came out of her mouth seemed to cost her an inhuman effort. "Let's go home and... talk to Eda. Let's think well... on what is best to do"
Even though he didn't want to, Hunter couldn't help a small smile from forming on his face, which he quickly hid. But he was less pleased when Luz looked at him and said: "Anyway, Hunter... I don't think you're as you describe yourself. It's true, I don't really know you, I don't know what you've done or what your life has been like... but if you were really the cruel killer you speak of, then you would never have agreed to spare Vee's aunt, and you would not have tried to help her when that greater basilisk attacked her, and you would not have saved... my mother... from that storm, and you wouldn't... you wouldn't have done a lot of things. I... I trust you, Hunter, and I know you're so much more than you think. You are not just a monster hunter... you are not an assassin"
Hunter shook his head. Those words had made him a little happy, but hearing them had been like drinking vinegar for him. "I wish it were so... but you're speaking without knowing many things. You don't know who I am... or what I've done" he said, and hoped the conversation would end there, but he stiffened when he felt a wooden hand rest on his shoulder.
He looked up and met Luz's eyes, which shone with a strange confidence mixed with pity and compassion. Hunter almost got lost in those eyes for a moment; it was as if they were two stars trying to illuminate the darkness that enveloped his heart, however weak they were. Seeing them, his body trembled slightly and he clenched his fists and looked away. He closed his eyes and was conflicted like few times in his life; and suddenly, he could no longer restrain that impulse that the logic told him was totally wrong, and a whisper came from his lips: "Luz... I have to confess something to you..."
But just then a rustling sound was heard, and Hunter immediately sprang to attention; having immediately identified the direction from which the sound had come, he stood in front of Luz and twirled his staff, which glowed with blood red light, and with his free hand he grabbed Flapjack which transformed into a magic wand. "Whoever you are, come out now! For your information, you have a magical orb with enough power to pulverize everything from here to Mirkwood aimed at you! I count to five, and then I shoot! One! Two..."
"Stop!" a familiar voice shouted. "It's just me! Don't disintegrate me!"
To Hunter and Luz's surprise, Skara emerged from the bushes. She had several leaves in her hair and looked quite tired, as if she had been running while carrying a weight on her shoulders. "Skara? What are you doing here...?" Luz tried to ask her, but she immediately stopped when she realized that she wasn't alone: she was in fact holding up a person who seemed to be unconscious. Hunter raised his staff to better illuminate the scene, and so they could see that the person leaning on Skara's shoulder was Katya, who was quite battered and had clothes torn in several places. "What happened!?" the puppet exclaimed running towards them and grabbing the half-vampire's face to check if she was breathing; yes, she was still breathing.
Skara had Luz help her put Katya down and lay her face up, then she looked at Hunter: "You need to go help Raine right now! Someone attacked them!"
We still hadn't made any progress on the "Hunter-Luz siblings relationship" front? Here you are served. Nothing brings two people with psychological trauma together more than talking about how much they hate themselves, right?
