With the countryside rolling past the windows of the Hogwarts Express, Azrael, Gabriel, Logan, and Porsha all enjoyed some wizard sweets from the trolly lady as the wolf began to recall his past.
"As you all saw, I'm immune to the killing curse, and the reason for that is that I'm not technically among the living anymore," Azrael said.
"So… You're a zombie?" Logan guessed.
Azrael shook his head. "No, I'm just not alive in the same way that other guests are here in the Epic Universe. If you recall, your friend Toren was "born" due to his spirit being bonded to a new body, correct? Well, I came into being in a similar way. When I was in eighth grade, there was an incident at school during the rehearsal of the school play. Some shoddy craftsmanship caused the curtain beam to fall, and while the other students were able to get out of the way… I was not so lucky."
"I remember that…" Gabriel said, unconsciously rubbing a spot on his head. "The doctor said it was a miracle that I survived, and that if I had been standing anywhere else…"
"It looks like our paths in life diverged before either of us came to be part of these other worlds," Azrael nodded.
"Wait, you had a near death experience!?" Logan gasped.
"It was a long time ago now, and if anything, it made me stronger," Gabriel said. "After that day I apricated my life a whole lot more, knowing how close to death I was. I started learning to slow down and figure out what I wanted to do, instead of just rushing things. To take every day at my own pace and look out for others more."
"So long story short, the story of Azrael the human died that day, by blunt-force trauma to the head," Azrael continued his story, "Needless to say that the building contractors got put through hell for getting a student killed due to their negligence, and my family was never the same after that. Of course, I only know bits and pieces since I was, you know, dead, but what I do know is the day I started "living" was when my brother brought a part of me to Universal Studios Florida."
"He brought some of your ashes?" Gabriel asked.
"No, but he did carry with him something else," Azrael said. The wolf reached into his pocket and pulled out what looked to be a small stone wolf carved out of white crystal. "My brother knew I was a fan of Universal movies, so during the summer between high school and college, he and his friends took a vacation to the park in Florida, where he secretly hid this carved wolf in the park. I practically carried this wolf everywhere with me in life, and somehow, a part of my soul was still attached to the object. The remnant of my soul wandered the park, until who else found me but Death?"
"I'm guessing that he would have been able to send your soul off to the afterlife," Logan said.
"You'd think that, but since that remnant was only made of the memories of my human life, I had no actual soul to send off," Azrael explained. "So instead, Death gave my spirit a shape and a proper vessel to inhabit, one designed after his own flesh. In a way, he is my father by flesh. As a side effect of my new life, however, I can never leave the Epic Universe, and I only have fractured pieces of my memory from when I was human. I just recall feelings and my own death… I can't even remember the names of my parents and brother, nor their faces."
Porsha suddenly gave him a hug. "You've never told me this story before. I know that it'd suck if I forgot who my dad was, even if he's not a good person."
"Well, Death became my new family, and I have been assured that my original family is doing well," Azrael said. "I've even taken on the role of a fairy tale character myself. Have you ever been told the tale of Godfather Death?"
"That's the story where Death takes on an apprentice, a boy who becomes a doctor. He carried special herbs that can cure any illness but could only use them on people when Death appears by the head of their bed," Gabriel recalled. "Long story short, the boy tricks Death to save the life of a king and his daughter, and in retaliation, Death kills his own godson. The moral of the story is that you can't cheat death, and that for every life given there is another one taken."
"That's kinda dark," Logan said.
"Well, all the original stories collected by the Brothers Grimm usually are," Azrael chuckled. "Luckily for me, since the Epic Universe isn't prone to real deaths, I use my position more to help people on the crossroads of life, and to keep the balance between light and dark by holding those that wish to upset the balance at bay. I guess my name is fitting then: I am named after the Angel of Death, but my actions are more in line with the "angel" part of the name, with "death" being more my powers."
"Plus the Shrek movies always did put a twist on the fairy tales," Gabriel said. "Do you ever get lonely, though? Sure you have Death as a father figure, but you don't seem to have other friends outside of that."
Azrael looked out the window. "I find it hard to connect to others, and that's fine for me. When you have a profession like mine… it's better to keep your relationships professional."
Porsha sighed, looking a bit down. Gabriel to note of that in his mind, before noticing that the world around them was slowly turning to black and white. "I'm guessing we're close now."
"Yes, we are," Azrael nodded. "Come, the train will be stopping soon. Dracula's Castle will be waiting for us."
"This is super cool!" Logan said, looking around the old timey village they were wandering through. "Everything is all black and white, but we kept our colors!"
"It's still kinda spooky, though," Porsha said, looking around nervously. "I'm not a big fan of the scary stuff. Like that Sky-Fi movie with the aliens that come out of your chest."
"Be glad you've never had to fight a Xenomorph in person," Logan said.
"There, up the hill!" Azrael said, pointing to a castle in the distance. As he did so, a bolt of lightning suddenly struck in the sky.
"Hah, thematic," Gabriel mused. "So, where is the backup you requested?"
"They'll be here soon," Azrael stated. "Dracula is sure to have called on the other monsters to guard is castle, which means dealing with the likes of Frankenstein's Monster, Gill-Man, and the Invisible Man. Oh, and his brides, of course."
"I feel like we're missing a few monsters there," Logan pointed out.
"Well, Dracula stole his fancy new sun-proof amulet from the Mummy, so we don't have to worry about him. As for the Wolf Man…" Azrael pulled out his coin, flipping it to summon a man covered head to toe in brown fur wearing ripped up clothes. "Everyone, meet Lawrence Talbot, or Larry to his friends." The Wolf Man just have a few growls. "He's not the talkative type, but he is a good ally to have against Dracula. Now we just have to wait for the backup to arrive…"
The sound of a motorbike came to their ears, which quickly came into view before the person riding it jumped off with style, the bike quickly folding up into a briefcase. Pulling off their helmet, the rider revealed a female fox underneath. "Hey guys. I heard you needed help snatching an amulet from some old guy? Good thing you had the Crimson Paw on speed dial, am I right?"
"Diane Foxington…" Gabriel and Logan said in unison, the two boys awestruck by her beauty.
"Hey Mom!" Porsha waved.
"Wait, what!?" Gabriel and Logan exclaimed.
"Yeah, Porsha is kind of the unofficial daughter to Ms. Foxington right here," Azrael said. "She lives with her and Mr. Wolf whenever she's not at the Moon Theater."
"I always thought Buster would have adopted her…" Logan mumbled.
"I mean, the third movie hasn't been made yet, but for the time being, I'm proud to have Diane here looking after me," Porsha smiled. "I'll make sure to show off those skills you've been teaching me!"
"Just be careful, Porsha," Diane said, giving the she-wolf a hug. "Now then, why don't we get up to that castle and show Dracula who's boss?"
As the gang headed up towards the castle, Logan and Gabriel shared a look. "So, we're both happy with our girlfriends, right?" Logan said.
"Of course! I wouldn't trade Jasiri for anyone else," Gabriel stated firmly.
"Good, I wouldn't trade Destiny for anyone either," Logan agreed. "That being said… We can both agree that Diane is hot, right?"
"Oh for sure," Gabriel nodded.
"That's what I thought when I first met her too," Azrael chuckled. "But she is taken woman, you know. Mr. Wolf is one lucky son of a gun…"
[***]
The doors of Castle Dracula opened with a loud creaking noise, followed by bats flying out of the castle and into the night. Gabriel whispered a spell and created light orbs to illuminate the area as they went forward. Creeping around the castle, the sound of ominous organ music could be heard, indicating that they were getting close to their target.
"Man, this place is like the Haunted Mansion but way less fun," Logan shuttered.
"Yeah, we don't really do happy haunts around here," Azrael mused.
The Wolf Man let out a growl as he pushed open the next set of doors, revealing Count Dracula in his coffin on the other side. The vampire rose from his slumber, looking at the group. "Good evening, uninvited guests," Dracula greeted them. "I assume that you're here to break my hold over Death?"
"And to get back that amulet you stole," Azrael added.
"Well then, I suppose we shouldn't keep this charade of friendly airs up for long," Dracula said. He flared out his cape, which caused an organ sting to play as three figures dropped from the ceiling in front of the vampire. "Kai said that you might come after me, Scion of Death, so I went and made some new friends as well. How do you like my new brides?"
"We live to serve you, Count Dracula," the brides said in unison. Unlike the usual vampire ladies, these brides were snow leopardesses.
"Wait… You turned the Wu Sisters into vampires!?" Logan exclaimed.
"Yes. I figured that having more competent warriors under my control would prove more useful," Dracula explained.
"Well then, the jokes on you. Dogs and cats have a natural rivalry," Azrael said, The Wolf Man growling in agreement.
"Then I will just have to… split you up," Dracula said, snapping his fingers and making the group beneath the heroes open up into a trap door. "Enjoy your stay in my castle."
"We should have seen this coming!" Gabriel exclaimed as the trap split up the team, magically sending them to different parts of the castle. The raven groaned as he landed in what looked like and old lab, before putting a hand to his ear. "You guys okay?"
"Yeah. It's a good thing I gave you all these communicators before we went into the castle," Diane replied. "I seem to have ended up in the study."
"I'm in the kitchens," Logan replied.
"Porsha, Talbot, and I are back in the main hall," Azrael called. He looked up to see the Wu Sisters descending on them, the wolf blocking an attack with his sword. "My best guess is that Drac has his monster friends in the locations we all ended up in. Be careful!"
Gabriel looked around, before noticing a body lying on a table. "Oh boy…" he said with worry, watching as Frankenstein's Monster rose from the table.
In Logan's location, the young man was ready for a fight, but was suddenly jumped by the Gill-Man, who attacked by hopping out of the fridge. With Diane, the fox looked around the study, noticing that a smoking pipe was mysteriously floating in midair. Seeing that he had a guest, the Invisible Man blew out the candle near him, plunging the room into darkness as the fox now had to fight an invisible foe in the dark.
"Porsha, you stay back!" Azrael ordered, doing his best to defend the girl.
"But I want to help!" she replied, giving a yipe as one of the Wu Sisters tried to bite her.
"Well, I don't want you to risk being turned, so either stay hidden or figure some way to help out!" Azrael barked.
Porsha racked her brain to come up with an idea. "I wish I could do that music stuff like Gabriel can. That was being helpful against Voldemort," she said. The she-wolf suddenly felt something stir inside her, something she only briefly felt back during the song with Gabriel. Porsha gasped as she noticed small flickers of bouncy blue magic around her hand. "Wait… Could I…?" she wondered.
Porsha pulled out her phone and started up a song, syncing it up to their commlinks so the others could here. "Everyone, I wanna try something!" she announced. "Just follow the song and prepare to not die!"
"I hope that was supposed to be encouraging!" Logan called, wrestling with Gill-Man.
As the music started up a beat, Porsha began to sing along, the newfound magic in her body shifting as the blue parts of her fur started to shimmer with magic.
I'm a monster, I'm a m-monster
I'm a monster, I'm a m-monster
I'm a monster, I'm a m-monster
I'm a monster, I'm a m-monster
"Wait…. Is that my power?" Gabriel wondered. He looked at the Monster and backed up as the creature took a swing at him, denting a nearby table with his strength. "Yikes! Live now, question later!"
I'm a monster, I'm a m-monster
I'm a monster, I'm a m-monster
I'm a monster, I'm a m-monster
I'm a monster, I'm a m-monster
"Why do I have to fight the fish man!?" Logan shouted, wrestling with Gill-Man as they caused a mess in the kitchen.
I'm one of a kind, got everybody in love
And I don't have to try, I just do what I does
Diane kept up her guard, but was surprised when she suddenly got pushed over into the lounge chair. "Fighting an invisble enemy in a dark room? That's just cheating!" the fox growled.
Don't have to tell me, I already know
They all want me…
"Join us!" the Wu Sisters exclaimed, rushing at Porsha, only for Azrael to appear in front of her and block them with his sword.
"No blood will be spilled this night!" he vowed, getting into the heat of battle as the song's intro finished.
Yo, I run this, I smash it
Like my bass real hard, boom-bastic
Speed race baby, I'm a lot faster
'Cause trouble, never listen to my master
While Azrael fought the vampire snow leopards with the Wolf Man, one of the sisters slipped past to get at Porsha again. The she-wolf yelped and held up her hands, the magic energy around her suddenly gathering and bursting out into a flash of light. The Wu Sister hissed, shielding her eyes as her fur started sizzling.
"What that… sunlight!?" Azrael gasped.
"I dunno, but it works!" Porsha shrugged, grinning as she gathered more of her newfound magic to ward off the vampires.
New Benz all black, from Malaysia
Can't drive, but my mama don't care yup
To the top, I'm a take it to the ceiling
I'm on the moon but I feel the sun beaming
"That girl has control of the light!" the leader of the sisters hissed.
"Yeah, and that means we can do this!" Azrael shouted, appearing behind the stunned vampires and delivering a slice to the head, comically lopping them off. "Talbot, now!"
The Wolf Man growled, before plunging a hand into their chests stopping the vampire's undead hearts, their bodies bursting into shadow upon their defeat.
I'm so dope like ooh-la-la
So-so fly like a helicopter
Sup to the hood and the homies on the block
Doing it big, ya you know, what's up
With Diane, the fox felt the music emanating around them, letting it focus her concentration. "I just need to figure out where this guy is hiding…" Suddenly, she felt a slight shift in the air, her instincts kicking in as she stuck out her and, catching an invisible arm.
Some come and try to say I'm a problem
So crazy, gotta put 'em in an asylum
Some come and try to say I'm a problem
Ha, solve it!
"Uh… truce?" the Invisible Man said nervously.
"Nope!" Diane said, flipping him over before rapidly striking at his body, leaving the monster paralyzed. "That's why you don't mess with the Crimson Paw," she said, before heading out of the room to regroup with the others.
I'm a monster, I'm a m-monster
I'm a monster, I'm a m-monster
I'm a monster, I'm a m-monster
I'm a monster, I'm a m-monster
Though two of the fights were done, Gabriel and Logan were still in the middle of their fights.
I'm a monster, I'm a m-monster
I'm a monster, I'm a m-monster
I'm a monster, I'm a m-monster
I'm a monster, I'm a m-monster
"There you are!" Diane said, arriving in the main hall. She looked surprised to see Porsha glowing with magic. "Woah. How did that happen?"
"We're not sure. I think Gabriel has something to do with it," Azrael said.
"I'm a magic girl now!" Porsha cheered. "Azrael, you should help out!"
I'm one of a kind, got everybody in love
And I don't have to try, I just do what I does
Don't have to tell me, I already know
They all want me…
The wolf raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, no thanks, I'll just-" His tail suddenly started twitching as the music suddenly pulled him into the spell. Porsha grabbed his hand as the next verse began, Azrael sighing as he felt compelled to sing along.
Yo, yo, yo!
I ran this, I rock this
I can see the future, no optics
More androids, robotics
Beam up hot chicks like I'm Spock
Seeing kitchen utensils on the wall, Logan started comically throwing them at the monster, Gill-Man getting slammed in the face with a frying pan.
They be chilling in my cockpit
My spaceship got exotic
One be tripping, come n' whip, hypnotic
They be talking 'bout ooh-la-la
Logan looked at the knocked-out monster, giving him a kick to the side to make sure Gill-Man was knocked out. "Huh, Rapunzel was right: this is a good weapon!" Logan mused, giving the frying pan a twirl before leaving the room.
Let's go far, way past them stars
We don't care where, let's go to Mars
Ay, yo, I'm just tryna get it popping
I wanna be the first dude to love a Martian…
"I really don't want to fight you!" Gabriel said, avoiding swings from the Monster. "I mean, in the book you're a pretty tragic figure, I just don't like all the murder you commit!"
The Monster just growled, the raven yelping as he used his dragon claws to block an attack. Looking around, Gabriel saw some loose wires in the lab and got an idea.
She love a man, cut the swag that I'm dropping
I kill the game 'til it's chilling in the coffin
When I start, there ain't no stopping-
"Sorry in advance!" Gabriel shouted, jumping up to grab the wires and jabbing them into the Monster, sending sparks over the creature and knocking him out. "Wow, that worked! I guess if electricity brought you into the world, it can take you out of it too," the raven said.
Yo, yo, yo, yo
Yo, yo, yo, yo
Gabriel and Logan made it back to the others. "Porsha, you have Harmony now!" Gabriel said.
"I know, right!? This is super fun!" she giggled, giving Azrael a twirl.
"Please, let's just go give Dracula his just deserts," the wolf sighed.
Don't be actin' like
Like you didn't know
Like you didn't know
Like you didn't know
Like you didn't know
Strolling up to the throne room again, Diane kicked open the door, the vampire lord waiting on the other side. "Oh, you're back already?" Dracula said. "Hm… Perhaps I shouldn't haave underestimated your new friends, Scion of Death."
"Prepare to face justice, vampire," Azrael said, letting the Wolf Man rush in to fight.
I'm one of a kind, got everybody in love
And I don't have to try, I just do what I does
Don't have to tell me, I already know
They all want me…
"Oh yeah, vampires versus werewolves, a classic!" Gabriel said, the group watching as the two monsters went at it in classic fashion, fur versus fangs.
I'm one of a kind, got everybody in love
And I don't have to try, I just do what I does
Don't have to tell me, I already know
They all want me…
I'm a monster, I'm a m-monster
As the song came to its end, Dracula tossed the Wolf Man out the window behind him, Azrael reaching out and calling his coin back to him. "You did well, Wolf Man. We'll handle it from here."
"You should give up, Dracula. We defeated all of your minions, so it's just you versus all of us!" Logan said.
"Oh really?" Dracula mused, before swishing his cape outwards, summoning the Wu Sisters to his side once more.
"What? But we totally owned those guys already!" Porsha wined.
"Ah, but you didn't properly kill them, did you?" Dracula said. "You did cut of their heads, but you failed to stake the heart or burn the body afterwards. Did you think that just clawing out their hearts would work?"
"I mean… kind of…" Azrael said. "There was the one movie where werewolves were your weakness…"
"I swear that vampires have too many inconsistent weaknesses and powers," Diane sighed. "But fine, we can still fight these guys off!"
"At the very least, we know sunlight does hurt them," Porsha pointed out.
"Sure, but Dracula has that sunlight amulet, so it does nothing to him," Azrael reminded her.
As Logan, Diane, and Azrael fought the Wu Sisters once more, Gabriel looked to where Dracula was and tried to come up with a plan. "If we could just distract him, I think we could get the amulet off his body…" the raven muttered to himself. Reaching inside him, Gabriel thought of all the powers he could use, and was surprised when one of them he thought was lost was still calling to him. "Oh yeah, that'll work. Hey Dracula! Have you ever seen the original Shrek movie?"
"What are you going on about?" the Count questioned.
"Well, you're about to find out what it's like to be the main villain of that movie," Gabriel said. "In the words of a friend of mine: did I mention that I have a dinosaur?"
Suddenly there was a flash of light behind Dracula, and Devil Dinosaur popped his head in through the broken window. The T-Rex roared, stunning Dracula before chomping down and eating the vampire whole.
"Woah! How'd you do that?" Logan asked.
"I remembered that I made a connection with Devil D during an adventure with Moon Girl. Turns out it was a summon spell, and since there are Marvel characters in the Epic Universe, I can still call on his power," Gabriel explained. Devil just grinned. "That's comic book Devil, by the way. Now then, spit him out, boy. Vampires aren't good for your diet."
Devil Dinosaur nodded, before spitting Dracula back out, the vampire dazed from the attack. Seizing the opportunity, Diane delivered a flying kick to the Count, knocking him down while also snagging the sunlight amulet with her foot. "There goes your protection, Count!" the fox exclaimed.
"No! Give it back!" Dracula shouted, only for the words to die in his throat as Logan rushed forward, his sword in hand as he stabbed the vampire through the heart. Azrael then chopped off the vampire's head, with Logan finally igniting his sword, burning the Count to cinders in green flame.
"No, master!" the Wu Sisters shouted, only to clutch their heads in pain as their bodies returned to mortal flesh. Once they has turned back, Diane gave each of them a karate chop to the neck, knocking them out.
"Well that's our second boss defeated," Gabriel said. "And can I just say that this trip has been a lot more brutal than our usual fare in the Magical World."
"Hey, Universal is more intense, so it makes sense," Azrael stated. He then looked to Porsha. "Good job, Porsha. I don't know how you got magic, but it was useful."
"Just doing what I do best: singing my heart out!" Porsha said, striking a pose. "Oh, and now I can be, like, a musical superhero! Oh, I need to make a name, and a costume, and-"
"Let's think about that later, sweetie," Diane calmed the she-wolf down. "Don't you kids have one last villain to defeat before you can free Death?"
"Yeah, and it's Kai," Azrael said. "And since he's the main one controlling Death, I can only imagine the army he's been collecting while we've dealt with Voldemort and Dracula…"
Suddenly, Porsha's phone rang with a notification update. "Uh-oh. Looks like that Kai guy has made a move." She showed everyone the news headline, which was being reported by Goldie.
"This is Goldie with Epic Universe News, telling you that the villain Kai has suddenly appeared and is causing havoc at Islands of Adventure," Goldie reported. Behind her you could see Death and an army of Jombies, jade warriors under Kai's control, terrorizing civilians. "We have heroes on the scene, but with each one that falls, Kai adds another warrior to his collection. If you can send help, please come as soon as possible!"
"Well, at least we know where Kai is now," Gabriel said. He looked over to see Azrael with a worried look on his face. "Hey, are you okay?"
"I feel like I've failed," the wolf said. "I'm supposed to help people, to keep this world safe. But look at what's happened? Heck, I needed assistance from you guys just to take down Voldemort and Dracula."
"Hey, there's nothing wrong with asking for help," Logan pointed out. "I mean, you even have that magic coin that lets you summon others to your side! So even if you say you're a lone wolf, you've always had help."
"I think… You're just afraid of getting attached again," Gabriel said, surprising the wolf. "I mean, why wouldn't you? You died, and now that you have a second chance at life, you don't want to risk the regrets of losing someone close to you."
"I put my family through so much heartbreak with my death…" Azrael whispered.
"And I'm sure they don't blame you for it," Gabriel assured his counterpart. He put a hand on Azrael's shoulder and smiled. "I get it. I wasn't much of a team player before I came to the Magical World either. But then I met a certain hyena girl, and started making friends and connections. I've gotten stronger because of the people and love and when you have something to lose, something to protect? That's when you fight the hardest."
"What we're saying is, if you want to keep this world safe, we'll stand by your side all the way!" Logan cheered.
"Yeah! This is my home too, and I want to help out as much as I can," Porsha nodded.
Azrael looked at the she-wolf with a faint grin. "You know, Porsha, I know that I seem annoyed by you, but the truth is that I do appreciate your presence. It can be a bit much at times, but I will admit that part of the reason I was so cold is because I didn't want to make those connections again. Now… I think it's time for me to reach out again, to become a true protector of the Epic Universe."
"This is all heartwarming, but we do have Kai to go deal with," Diane pointed out. "I'll go see if I can find any other heroes to help out. Oh, and take this!" She tossed a key to Azrael. "That's for one of the prop studios on the backlot. I'm sure you guys can find some useful stuff back there."
"Thanks for everything, Diane," Azrael nodded.
"See you at dinner tonight!" Porsha waved off.
"Now then, let's go find Kai and put an end to this, once and for all!" Logan cheered.
Author's Note
Dracula is down! I love me some classic Universal Monsters, so it was fun letting a lot of them cameo here. I also enjoyed poking fun at how vampires are very inconsistent with how you defeat them across all media. I put the Wu Sisters in here because I thought they'd fit perfectly as the new Brides of Dracula, and to give the gang more trouble to fight against.
Diane from "The Bad Guys" shows up to help the team, and she's one of my favorites in the DreamWorks character catalogue. Gabriel and Logan admitting that they find her hot is a joke that a lot people were commenting on how attractive Diane is when the movie first came out. The designers knew what they were doing with her look! Oh, and her and Porsha having a mother-daughter relationship is an idea I had that I think works, especially since Porsha needs a good mother figure in her life. If the Magical World can create new bonds between characters, then the same goes for the Epic Universe.
The song this chapter is "The Problem (Monster Remix)" by Becky G and Will. , which was in the movie "Hotel Transylvania." It felt fitting as both a song Porsha would like and as a song to play when fighting against monsters.
And we have Azrael's backstory, as well as why he likes to work alone. The incident that lead to Azrael's death is based on a real near-death experience that happened to me in real life. I got hit on the head with a curtain rod in middle school, and the doctor said the only thing that saved me is the curtain cushioning the blow. I can imagine being terrified of losing the people you love if you yourself died and came back, but with the help of Gabriel, Logan, and Porsha, our wolf boy is ready to open his heart again.
Next Time: the final battle with Kai so our heroes can return home!
