and sings the tune without the words
by Rose Thorne
Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with The Untamed, and make no money writing fanfiction.
Chapter Two
Dear A-Zhan,
I'm sorry it took me a little while to write to you. Something happened that was scary, but I promise I'm okay. Please don't worry.
I went to the training ground to watch a-niang and A-Cheng with their whips, and I had a bad episode—I guess that's what a-niang and a-die call them? I don't know if I ever saw a-niang use Zidian before, but in my episode she was whipping me with it and yelling terrible things, like that I would bring ruin on the Jiang sect.
A-Cheng said I fell and was moving like I was being whipped, and after they were afraid I wouldn't wake up because it took two whole days for me to. Plus when I fell I hurt my wrist, which is another reason this letter took so long. I'm still not allowed out of the healing pavilion without an adult with me, so it's super boring.
When I told a-niang what I saw, she cried and promised she never raised Zidian at me and never would, but she told me before I was hurt she was angry with me because she misunderstood why a-die brought me home, and that she was really sorry.
She's been so kind to me that it's hard to believe. But we had a long talk, and she said I'm an asset to the sect and could only bring the Jiang pride. She said she thought a-die loved my mama and wanted her as his wife instead, but learned he was grieving my baba and rescued me to raise me for him since they were sworn brothers.
I don't think it matters what happened before. I don't remember it, and she's my a-niang. She comforted me when I was scared, and she believed me about the yao. She said she would work to be worthy of my forgiveness even if I already forgive her.
A-Die and a-niang have been telling me about my mama and baba. I guess a-niang and mama didn't like each other a lot, which is kind of sad. But she said now she wishes she had tried to be friends with her, so she'll do the next best thing and be good to me so mama can rest well. A-Die tells me a lot of stories about baba and it's fun to hear them because some of them are when they were kids. He told me mama once shaved Lan-xiansheng's beard while he was sleeping!
A-Jie keeps cooking me soup and A-Cheng made the servants move my bed and all my stuff back into his quarters. He said when Healer Kang lets me leave the infirmary, I shouldn't be alone. A-Lian was so upset by what happened that she's started sleeping in here. She says her gege shouldn't be alone. She's a bit of a blanket hog, not like you at all.
It's weird without you at Lotus Cove, I guess since I don't remember a time without you here. So it's like you've been here my whole life! I'll have to get used to it.
At least we'll see each other in three months when I come to visit the Cloud Recesses for musical cultivation training.
When I miss you I wind up playing "High Mountain and Flowing Water," like you were when I woke up, and since I miss you a lot I play it a lot. There's a song in my head sometimes, too, in bits and too soft to fully hear.
I hope your trip back to Gusu went well, and that the bag of treats I packed was enough for the journey. A-Jie helped me put it together because she cooks the best.
I hope this letter finds you well,
Jiang Ying
Dear A-Ying,
While it is nice to be back in Gusu, I wish I was there with you, that I could play music for you and help you. If you need me, I will ask shufu to let me return to Lotus Pier.
Your episode sounds terrifying, but I am glad it has allowed you to talk with your mother more. She seemed to have trouble at first, like when she sometimes compared you and your brother. It seemed like a habit she was trying to break.
But it is clear she loves you. That is important. Yu-furen was the one to insist on your adoption. I don't know if you knew that. She is letting go of the past as well, but perhaps it's harder to let go of guilt.
I am glad you are learning more about your parents. I wish to learn about mine as well. My mother died when I was six, shortly before I met you in Yiling. The rattle drum had been a gift from her, and I gave it to you because your smile reminded me of her. My father has been in seclusion my whole life, so I also know nothing of him. I hesitate to ask shufu, because these things may be upsetting for him to discuss.
Perhaps if I asked him, he would paint my mother, as Yu-furen did for you. I remember her still, but I worry her features will grow fuzzy in my mind. I know you understand, given what you have experienced, but it's difficult to try to explain to shufu.
Your sister's soup is delicious, and I'm sure it helps you feel better. It is very kind for your brother to share his quarters with you, and I quite agree that you shouldn't be alone. Your occasional nightmares were often very upsetting for you, and I'm sure your brother knows that and wants to help you however he can. I know I will rest easier knowing you have him with you at night. A-Lian may continue to find her way into your room even after you move from the infirmary. She loves you dearly and worries for your health. Perhaps keep a second blanket at the foot of the bed for these nights, so you won't catch a chill when she steals the first.
I miss you, as well. I keep expecting to hear your voice, even in the Cloud Recesses. I, too, have found myself playing Boya; I wonder if we play it at the same time. I feel that you calling for me, that my meeting you again, was yuanfen. I have felt thus since you first woke while I was playing "Gao Shan Liu Shui."
It is strange to be apart from you now. Three months seems like so long a time before your visit. I have been making a list of places you may enjoy when you come.
The trip back was uneventful, but pleasant. It was nice to travel by boat in a more leisurely way, and I believe you would enjoy the trip as well. There was much to see on the river, in terms of the beauty of nature. I imagine you would be inspired to paint.
Thank you for packing us snacks. I enjoyed them, as did xiongzhang and shufu. Please thank Jiang Yanli for us as well. I also was happy to see the small painting of bunnies you snuck into one of my qiankun pouches. It reminded me of eating spun sugar bunnies with you in the Yunping market.
We made so many good memories, and when you come to Gusu we will make many more.
I wish you good health and look forward to your next letter,
Lan Zhan
I've talked about yuanfen before, but it's basically the chance or binding force that brings people or people and objects together, good and bad chances and potential relationships. It's different than fate, which implies there's a higher power of sorts involved. It doesn't mean the people are meant to stay together. Lan Wangji feels it was yuanfen to meet Wei Wuxian again, particularly since he was calling his name despite the fact that he shouldn't have known it, and he's drawn to him in a way that makes him feel they will stick together in this lifetime.
I love referencing Boya, whose friendship with Ziqi inspired the term "zhiyin," or "to know the tone," which has come to mean a close and sympathetic friend. According to the stories, when Ziqi died, Boya broke his guqin and refused to play it anymore. He's well known for playing "High Mountains and Flowing Waters," and so it is associated with Boya and zhiyin.
They're still 10 here, so despite what may appear to be romantic undertones, there's no romance to these letters.